Giving Hands Birth and Bereavement Doula

"The original word “doulas” came from Greece. While I was expecting some glamorous beginnings to the term doula, what I found relates to the humble and loyal nature of our work. The Greek word δούλα (feminine noun) means a “woman who serves.
In the context of a woman supporting another woman in postpartum care, Dana Raphael first coined the term in her 1973 book The Tender Gift: Breastfeeding (and earlier in a 1969 article). In essence, Dana utilized doula to describe the type of support that should be given to a woman after childbirth and the name stuck. Since that time, a doula’s scope has expanded and a doula now provides support physically, emotionally, informationally, and as an advocate for women before they become pregnant, while they are pregnant when they give birth, and after they give birth.1 A modern doula wants to serve pregnant mothers and new mothers to nurture them with comfort and peace while they walk their new journey as mothers. When did people first begin using doulas? While Dana Raphael first used the word doula in 1969 to describe the type of care women need from other women, the doula profession has grown slowly and steadily since 1970. Many women called themselves doulas as they sought to provide support to other mothers and gained training and education through experience. The first organization to begin to certify doulas started in 1992 and since that time many other organizations have been formed to provide support, training, and certification for doulas."
Shared from the lovely Brooke Shambley, Blissful Moments Doula Blogger.

YOUR CHILD IS NOT AN ACCIDENT Maybe he didn't come when you think right. Maybe he "messed up" some plans you had. Maybe you feel too young and think he came to steal your youth. Maybe you don't feel prepared enough to be a mom just yet. Maybe it's all of this up there together, and all that junction will make you repeat a trillion times to everyone and you, that your child is an accident.

But nope! He ain't it Birth control is not 100% safe, we know that. Children take up half our lives but they do not prevent us from dreaming, making plans, traveling... It may delay our career, our studies.. but delay is not delay. No woman is ready to be a mother, not at sixteen or at 30.
Kids won't steal anything from us...
Kids gives us new perspectives, new dreams, more courage. They arrive and add up, never subtract. If it was your time to be a mother, it had to come. It's not easy, but it's amazing how even in the midst of chaos we can still turn around. Your child is not an accident! He is with you in this moment, and that's exactly where you two should be.

Image:

✨ These pictures by the collection never cease to amaze me. This is a photograph of a fetus at 11-12 weeks gestation. You can see the umbilical vessels and even the formation of the ribs. To think that we all started out like this is just incredible! Human nature is magical! ✨

isn’t something you plan to do. It’s anytime you see, experience or know that is occurring and you can make a and do something, anything about it and you do. Not talk, not argue and complain, but actually go and make a . No matter how tiny the movement of the needle forward into true humanity- if you have the ability then use it. We all have opportunities to ourselves and others about what is happening in other spheres of ! After working in the prison system as a Doula for 6 years - I have first hand seen the difference in treatment that not seeing everyone through the eyes of Love and light can do.

DECÁLOGO DE LA -MADRE SEGÚN LA PSICOGENEALOGÍA

1.-He parido un hijo que no es mío. Lo entrego al mundo.

2.-Este hijo no ha venido a cumplir mi proyecto, ni los proyectos de mi árbol genealógico, sino el suyo propio.

3-No lo bautizo con ningún nombre ya presente en el árbol, ni con nombres que le impriman un destino.

4.-Se lo doy todo, lo crío con afecto, sin dejar de ser yo misma, sin adicción al sacrificio, sino con responsabilidad y desde la libertad.

5.-Le ofrezco herramientas que ayuden a construir el edificio de su propia vida, pero acepto que tome libremente las que el juzgue adecuadas y rechace las inadecuadas para él. Me doy cuenta que la mejor manera de enseñar a un hijo no es con mítines, ni con límites, sino con el ejemplo.

6.-Acepto que deje de llamarme “mamá” cuando él lo decida, para pasar a llamarme por mi propio nombre, porque así rompe lazos de dependencia y la relación entre ambos se equilibra.

7.-Le permito y facilito que tenga un espacio privado e íntimo en la casa que sienta como su propio territorio.

8.- En cuanto a la elección de sus amistades, de su carrera, de sus actividades de ocio, etc., le escucho, le doy mi parecer, pero no selecciono nada por él, ni le prohíbo ni lo obligo.

9.- Dejo que mi hijo cometa errores, que se caiga, que no sea perfecto. Comprendo que cada fracaso es un cambio de camino y con ellos se crece cada día; si lo protejo demasiado lo bonsaitizo, nunca será adulto.

10.-Jamás definiré a mi hijo (“es tranquilo”, “eres nervioso”, “es tímido”…), porque entiendo que los niños se forman su auto concepto a partir de lo que sus padres dicen de él. Le transmito que dentro de él están todas las posibilidades del ser, lo es todo en potencia.”

-Alejandro Jodorowsky.

PATERNIDAD Y EL AMOR.

"Algunas personas opinan que no se puede comparar el amor que siente una madre por su hijo, al amor que podría llegar a sentir un padre por él. Dicen que la vida de una mujer cambia, su cuerpo cambia, sacrifica cada pequeño nutriente con el que cuenta, para ofrecérselo al bebé.

Lo que no entienden es que el tipo de amor de una madre y de un padre podrá llegar a ser distinto, más nunca inferior. Aquellas personas no entienden que el cuerpo del hombre también se transforma, su mente jamás vuelve a ser la misma. No entienden que, mientras la madre se dedica 24/7 a cuidar a su hijo, ayudándolo a sobrevivir, el padre se dedica en cuerpo y alma a su vez, a ayudarles a los dos para que, en esta lucha, no les falte nada.

La madre inicia su batalla: ser la mejor mamá del mundo. El padre inicia su propia batalla: cuidar de ellos. Y así comienzan las amplias jornadas laborales, las noches en vela buscando mejores alternativas para construir un futuro mejor, los ausentismos mentales e incluso físicos, apostándole todo al trabajo, porque en el fondo sabe que, en ese momento, es la mejor forma que encuentra para combatir sus miedos. Porque ser padre conlleva la misma meta: la madre cuida eternamente a sus hijos, el padre cuida eternamente a su familia.

Algunas personas no entienden que, dentro de la parentalidad, no existe la competencia. Solo existe el amor y el trabajo en equipo".

Giving Hands Birth and Bereavement Doula updated their website address.

Giving Hands Birth and Bereavement Doula updated their business hours.

Have you seen a newborn grieve loss?
How about a 6 month old?

I didn’t recognize grief. Through all the years and all the foster babies that came through my home, I didn’t see it.

I never realized that a mother is not interchangeable; you cannot just change a known mother with an unknown one.

I guess I thought these babies were coming from such horrible circumstances, that they wouldn’t understand the loss; because in my mind, my home was a gain. They were gaining safety, love, attention,…I now understand that foster care and adoption begin with loss; the loss of the known.

I used to think that a foster baby coming into my home would not remember.

I was wrong.

While in the womb the child knows not any difference between mother and self; they are one. They are tasting, smelling, touching, hearing and seeing within the womb.

Upon birth, a separation occurs and what had once been a unified, indistinguishable source of life, is now separated. And suddenly there are things that prohibit the attention and care that had once been always present and never-ending. So the baby learns to express a need for this attention and care; they learn to cry. And the mother responds, and she is known…the baby knows her smell, her sound, her touch, her taste. All is remembered and well.

But then imagine, this mother is suddenly gone. It is now someone else’s face and eyes; someone else’s touch, smell and routine. The mother is gone and replaced by someone who is unknown.

All is not well.
Where has the known mother gone?
Why has she left me with this unknown?

I was the unknown mother and I didn’t recognize the grief.

I wish I had understood that every foster baby coming into my home was experiencing grief. No matter the circumstance of their removal, they were experiencing loss.

Grief is a normal response to the greatest loss.

I was an unknown mother.
Every baby I held still remembered the known mother. Grief was not assuaged by my home, my family, my deeds, or my words…it was instead held in the space of shared daily moments.

And slowly over time I became known too.
Babies remember.

I dont think I could ever say it enough.
You cannot completely tune into your body, baby and intuition that the good Lord created in us if we are still expecting others to fill these roles.
We have all the information we need at our fingertips and in ourselves.
I try my best never to give my own opinion to a mum I am supporting, but instead, I will provide evidence-based information or mirror a question back to her to further assist her in learning more about herself so she can be more empowered and aware and in control to make decisions without pressure one way or another in certain directions.

Hola , amigas, quisiera contarles a muchas personas que no saben lo que es una Doula . La palabra Doula significa servir en el Griego. Una Doula es una persona que ayuda a la mujer que esta embarazada en todo lo que puedar nesecitar en cuanto informacion, ayudar acomsejar en todo lo que sea del bebe, a planear el parto , informar, ayudar al padre y familia. Las estadiscas hablan de que las mujeres que han tenido ese apoyo a tenido partos mas buenos y reduce las cesarea, Un apoyo Espiritual y moral fuera de su entorno familiar.

Did you put together a music playlist for your birth?⁣
Setting up our own personal space is important when we want to guarantee our ability to feel safe and comfortable. Using music that makes us feel good can be a part of this space and is a good tool for relaxing, helping us get into our birthing part of our brain and drown out any other noise. ⁣
You might think birth music is just nice wave sounds or pretty musical instrument songs but It can be anything! you can have upbeat pop music if that is what makes you feel good and get in the zone. This is your birth experience remember.

I support choice in birth.
Homebirth is not for everyone.
But safe, supported birth is for every woman.

Happy Homebirth day!! Sure below what brought you to choose homebirth and what you loved about it.

The reason most women stop breastfeeding is due to thinking or being told that they don’t have enough milk.
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We’re told that the signs of “low supply” include:
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❌ Fussy baby
❌ Not being able to pump
❌ Pumping output is minimal
❌ Not leaking milk
❌ Breasts being soft or “empty”
❌ Baby who wants to feed often and for long periods
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NONE of these things equal a low milk supply. The indicators of a low supply include:
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✅ Baby not having 5-6 heavy wet nappies in a 24 hour period
✅ Baby not gaining any weight or growing in length
✅ Baby is hard to wake, floppy or showing other signs of dehydration
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If you are having difficulties breastfeeding or have any questions of concerns, please ensure you’re getting information from reputable sources and trained professionals. Many GP’s, paediatricians, midwives, child health nurses etc are not trained in lactation.
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Just as you wouldn’t see a podiatrist for a heart condition, you wouldn’t see a GP for breastfeeding support. Your best point of contact would be an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant). I have a list of recommended providers around Australia, and there are also many wonderful consultants working online. A few of these include The Milk Meg Susie Prout Lactation and Tamika Newman - Lactation Consultant
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I’m also here for any questions or concerns you may have and if I can’t help, I have lots of resources to help you reach your breastfeeding goals!
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We need to get back to what we know as mother's to be best for our children. Mother's ask why their baby cries everytime they put them down only because they haven't been taught to follow their motherhood intuition and know their baby needs closeness, hear the rithym of her heart, and smell her to be safe and feel safe. They need you and you need them.

You know when and how to give birth.

There is more to breastfeeding your baby than food. They need your comfort, to sleep, to signal your body to increase supply and on. Please ignore anyone that tries to tell you your baby shouldn't be feeding that much and it's creating a bad habit. The only habit you're creating is a safe place for your child and them knowing they can always rely on their mother.

Violencia obstetrica