Elijah
makes music.
mom talked to me about external/internal locus of control. i assume love for me must come from the outside. there are things i wish i could say to myself
ive spent so many hours listening to a 20 s verse i produced on repeat - i turn purgatory into heaven and heaven back into purgatory
I'm an empty lighter you tried to spark but don't throw me away. Fill me up
I need help and I can help myself but I need to know you believe in me
God they see me talking to you, am I crazy? Are you there? Are you here?
Way to go, way to go and say you're feeling a little bad
You're getting a little old for this
Well you said you weren't coming
Or we would have come back man
We would have come back for you
It turned out to be something quite special
A really cool party, man, a solid group of people
And, and I wish you could have been there
You would have loved the way the place looked
But it died down right before dawn
So what was I supposed to do?
-Francis and the Lights
ELIJ4H.BANDCAMP.COM
with your hand still on my back... make a wish brother
Elijah's cover photo
how did they know?
a boy and his father at SAMs mediterranean restaurant in davis
bug! a well of laughter, abuzz
bug! yes, right, they bug us
shoo, fly! shoe, it flies, and yet!
HAHA! the return, perpetual
instinctual, the joy bubbling new
eyes on you, fly! woo! hehe
on who? Shoo, right son
fly away, now—phew
to eat our food
in peace.
Amid communication breakdown you become my best friend, you the nameless, who brings me to those who hold the lights right to illuminate me, and even when I refuse to shine you return, YOU: I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you.
so long these days my heart
it grits like this it sings
so loud that I can hear
almost nothing else
until your voice you say
SLOW DOWN. and the pain
my love I never knew
it grits like this I spin
until I fall I feel
we hearts go round and round
my eyes into the ground
subtract the color fear
so long these days I pray
everything solid in space is so fluid in time
i was mixing music and twice a fly landed in a distinct spot on the top of my laptop screen, above the camera.
THERE IS NOBODY ELSE LIKE YOU, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE.
Surfers at W Cliff Drive in Santa Cruz:
a net of fleshy buoys bobs the gentle
up and down, up and down with the webbing
of swimmers' kicks
whisking pacific inlet whispers
together, homogenous now. you look left:
you tryna catch this one?
urgently capsized by familiar cell phone bells
doppler-jammed into my ear
i pop my jaw i bob my neck
up and down, up and down with the water
there. now i can feel my vibrations, conically traced
into my bones, and i listen.
so he says to me
you think because you're
a year older that
that makes you wiser?
yes it does.
yes, it does.
^must be like me, a buoy
up and down, up and down with the webbing
of swimmers' kicks.
*didn't get a photo of those surfers but in its place, stephen hawking surfing the clouds at sunrise (taken from a parking lot at UCSC)
Sh Oe is art
https://soundcloud.com/elijah/fastening-time
singing in the greenhouse at sunset the other day and my laptop overheated...
THESE FACTS ARE CONNECTED:
The Mind creates everything in existence. Without awareness to determine an event, it is merely a probability—indefinite, it can’t be said to exist any particular way. Quantum physics is aware of this. It is our perception that is at the root of creation. What is that thing that we call perception?
God is within the self, the deepest point within. That is (one part of) where creation arises.
The self is an illusion. You are part of a sphere of life: the earth. Your consciousness exists entagled within all life you come in contact with, but like the edges of a puzzle piece you create boundaries of the self. You contain it to control it. You fit your life together. But you also exceed it, you experience another while you’re with them; empathy. And they also experience you, so it is incredibly important that you play yourself in this life and not somebody you think would be liked by the other; and those don’t need to be mutually exclusive.
thank you Evan T. L Svoboda
Elijah