I Speak

I Couldn't Say It Any Better....

I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element.
It is my personal approach that creates the climate.
It is my daily mood that makes the weather.
I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous.
I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration.
I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.
In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized.
If we treat people as they are, we make them worse.
If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.

J.W.Goethe

I had the privilege of speaking with the Red Hatters of Richardson, Tx. this week. They were some cool ladies. They asked me to speak on a Mother's Love.

I spoke about my mothers and ended with this song.

A Mother's Love by Jim Brickman

Thank you for watching over me
All of the sleepless nights you lay awake
Thank you for knowing when to hold me close
when to let me go

Thank you for every stepping stone
And for the path that always leads me home
I thank you for the time you took
to see the heart inside of me

You gave me the roots to start this life
and then you gave me wings to fly
And I learned to dream
Because you believed in me

There's no power like it on this earth
No treasure equal to its worth
The gift of a mother's love

Thank you for every sunlit day
That filled the corners of our memory
Thank you for every selfless unsung deed
I know you did for me

Thank you for giving me the choice
To search my soul till I could find my voice
And I thank you for teaching me
To be strong enough to bend

You gave me the roots to start this life
and then you gave me wings to fly
And I learned to dream
Because you believed in me

There's no power like it on this earth
No treasure equal to its worth
The gift of a mother's love

I thank God for a mother's love.

https://youtu.be/wgB-Jlkl4q8

A Mother's Love Lyrics Jim Brickman

On January 29th I will be celebrating 47 years of being a member of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc. To honor this milestone I am making a donation to the political campaign of one of my young Kappa Brothers, Brandon Jones. Brandon is running to be re-elected to the Lewisville City Council. I’m asking you to join me by also donating to his campaign. You can click on this link to learn more about Brandon and make your donation.

http://electbrandontjones.com

As I get older I realize the importance of supporting those who are coming after me. I hope you feel the same and make your donation today. Thank you.

Michael Brundy

Brandon T. Jones Hello, my name is Brandon Jones and for eight years I have called Lewisville home. My wife Sherrelle and I raise our two rambunctious miniature schnauzers Baxter and Shelby. I work at Dallas Independent School District as a Senior Internal Auditor.

“Don't live by your thoughts only; live by your words also. Whatever plans you think about, affirm it in your mouth first, declare it and you will succeed in working it out! Words can be powerful!”

Do You See Me, Do I See You?

When you look at me what do you see? You see a black man. You see a physically fit man. You see a man losing his hair. You see a smart man, a writer and reader of books. You see how tall I am and a host of other things about my outside appearance.

But if you looked into my eyes, into my heart, and into my soul, you would see yourself. You would see another human being going through life and experiencing life just like you. You would see someone who hurts and rejoices. Just like you. You would be seeing my inside. And it would be just like you.

We don’t really have to look too deep to see the sameness of us all. You could take a knife and cut us and see that our blood, our flesh, and our bones all look the same.

But I am suggesting we look even deeper still. Look completely past the physical person and you’ve got to see their spirit. You’ve got to see their “humanness.”

If you have a small amount of social intelligence, or a wee bit of insight, you’ve learned the importance of looking someone in the eye. They say we do that as a sign of respect. We also do it to show our own confidence.

Eye contact is the most intimate way to communicate with another. And I think it is because when we look into another’s eyes we look past their outside appearance and see inside. When we look another in the eye they can see our sincerity. That’s deep communication.

If you look a person in the eye and see their humanness, their divinity, it will be hard for you to hurt them. It is when we look at people as “other” or different from us, not human, that we are able to hurt them. That’s why even soldiers must be convinced that the enemy is less than them and evil.

So if you want our society to be a more accepting and loving place, you may have to look some folks in the eye. Now you can’t look people in the eye that don’t look like you or that are different from you if you don’t hang out with different people. You’ve got to socialize with folks outside your normal circle. Then you will have an opportunity to look them in the eye. You will get to see that they are human just like you.

I’ve noticed lately that many of my fellow baby boomers are not getting the opportunity to see others as human and divine. They have less contact with others. They are in their own bubble.

We were the “love and peace” generation. Our generation saw laws change. But changing laws isn’t the same as changing hearts.

Our generation learned to go to school together, work together and even sometimes live close by each other but there still seemed to be something missing. That’s the love part. That’s really getting to know someone different intimately. I’ve gone to school with whites and made good friends since fourth grade but I never got invited to sleep overnight. And don’t think about me dating their sister.

Now don’t get me wrong, I never invited my white friends to spend the night either. And I didn’t suggest that they date one of my sisters. So I’m not trying to be holier than thou, just honest.

Because my generation went to school and worked together, I think we had the opportunity to know each other better. I think we were more tolerant, polite and understanding than we would have been without that contact.

But take away that contact and you have retired folks living in their own bubble and losing the opportunity to look into another’s eyes. Unlike when we were in school together or at work together, baby boomers seem to be the loudest in the social and political discourse. We seem to have forgotten all the lessons of the sixties and seventies.

Now that I’m not in the workforce I try to participate in a number of different groups. I don’t want to just see the world from my bubble.

I participate in my fraternity that is full of black men from age twenty to ninety. I’m a member of a men’s circle where I’m the only black man and a men’s circle where I’m one of the youngest men. I belong to a storytelling guild of cool and over age sixty-five white women that includes Asian, Latin and Native American women and I’m one of the few men. I’m in another storytelling guild that includes more different types of folks than I can list, Appalachian, Jewish and Texas storytellers are just a few. I attend a spiritual center that has LBGT members. I have a diverse community.

But what really makes the difference is something that I see affecting many in my generation. That something is my nieces. Once my nephews married someone that wasn’t black I had a choice to make. Was I going to limit or expand my love? I chose to expanded it.

So my nieces Corina, Stephanie, Lisa, Gina and Amanda gave me great nieces and nephews that are of Asian and Caucasian descent. And you can’t tell me that Mya, Faith, Kahlil, Jasmine, Jadea, Iesha and Tanajah aren’t all divine human beings. And you can bet their white, Mexican and Asian uncles and grandfathers think they are divine too. We all love them equally.

You’ve got to see the other person as you see yourself. That’s how you do more than just follow the laws required for us to live together. That’s how you get to love. You’ve got to see me. I want to see you.

It Pays To Be Original

Recently a van Gogh painting was stolen from the Cairo Museum in Egypt. The painting which goes by two names, “Poppy Flowers” and “Vase with Flowers” was completed in 1887. It was part of the work that van Gogh was best remembered for that was created in a 29 month frenzy of activity before his su***de in 1890 at age 37.

Obviously van Gogh didn’t live to see the impact of his art on society. He surely didn’t reap the great financial benefits that his art work now demands. He was probably misunderstood by many of his contemporaries.

But he still did his thing and he did it his way. He painted and he was original. He was authentic.

We can learn a great lesson from van Gogh. Use your imagination and be authentic. “The imagination,” says Glen Clark in “The Soul’s Desire,” is of all qualities in man the most Godlike. As a matter of fact, the first time man is mentioned in the Bible, he’s mentioned as being in God’s image. The only place that images are conceived is in the imagination. That’s where our creative power is.

Some people think of the imagination only when they think of “make believe.” They think it is about making belief in something that is not. That is just fancy, or pretense and sham; imagination enables one to see through the appearance of a thing to what it really is.

Our imagination leads us to vision. And when we visualize we can make things materialize. Imagination gives you the picture. Vision gives you the impulse to make the picture your own. You have to use your imagination to get to the vision for as it is said, the people perish for lack of a vision.

When we have a vision we have something to focus on. When we have something we focus on we begin to see new things, we see new approaches, we get new ideas. When we take action on those new ideas we begin to do the things that bring what we imaged in to existence. It all starts with our imagination.

When we refuse to use our imagination and rely on the imagination, the ideas and dreams of others, we are not authentic, we are just copies.

Nature does not honor copies. Each snowflake is unique. Each blade of grass is different. Each tree grows to it’s own height. Each animal follows its own instincts. And each of us should be brave enough to be unique.

You can look around and see that the copies don’t make the same big hit that the originals do. The numbered prints are not as valuable as the original painting.

The best advice that I received as an inspirational speaker was to find my own voice. In the beginning of many endeavors we may find ourselves copying others who are doing what we want to do, but sooner or later to be successful we will have to do it our way. We will have to put our spin on a thing. That’s what adds value.

The hard part is believing in ourselves, believing that we have something to offer, that our way of doing it will work out. It takes a lot of faith but that is how it works. And even if we are the only ones to see our dream as a possibility we should pursue it.

Like with van Gogh - he didn’t get all the financial value that we put on his work today. But I would bet that he felt the joy in his heart that comes from doing his own thing. And the world is a much better place because he did his own thing and did it his way.

Who would imagine a painting of flowers in a vase would be so valuable to be stolen twice in the past 3 decades and be worth $50 million dollars. That’s the price of an original, not a copy. Be original and authentic.

Success is Never an Accident

I believe that success is intentional. No one ever gets a degree, wins a race or accomplishes any goal by accident. You have to take certain steps to be successful.

First you must know what it is that you want. You’ve got to know where you are heading. It sounds so simple but to get what we want we have to know what it is that we want. Then when we get what we want we will know we have been successful.

Many things that I became successful at started out as something I couldn’t do. Wrestling, speaking and running were activities I succeeded in but started as a failure.

When I first started to wrestle I was bad. I was so bad that I lost every one of my sixteen matches. Some of my matches didn’t even last a minute. I would be so hurt and frustrated that I would cry like a baby after each loss. My family was so embarrassed they quit coming to see me. It was a difficult time.

But my second year I practiced harder. I learned the moves. I really put in the work to become better. That year I won eight and loss eight matches. More importantly I learned the value of hard work.

So my senior year I worked even harder. I began training long before the season started. I met with my coach for special instruction. I got to practice early and stayed late. I worked out with the toughest guys on our team. And that year I made it all the way to the state tournament. And I was offered a wrestling scholarship.

That was quite an improvement considering how far I came. But the lessons I learned about life were invaluable.
The same was true with my speaking. I always wanted to be a speaker. Years ago I had an opportunity to attend a speaking workshop being conducted by the renowned Les Brown.

It was a small group of eighty, eight to a table and ten tables. We had a small speaking contest at our tables and the winners progressed to take on the entire room of potential speakers. At my table I was easily the least prepared and least effective speaker. I was bad and devastated.

The others had prepared, they were teachers, ministers, people who were used to speaking. I had shown up on a wish and a prayer without even an idea how to prepare. As a result, I found myself again off to myself crying over my defeat.

Fortunately, someone saw something in me that I could not see in myself. This someone encouraged me and advised me to join Toastmasters. I took her advised and joined two Toastmaster groups as soon as I returned home. There I put in the time, the work, the grind and I got good. I began to participate in contests and I won. I got so good they put me in the Toastmasters Hall of Fame.

Again my success was not accidental. It was intentional. I worked for it.

When I turned fifty I ran my first marathon with my twenty-five-year-old nephew. It took me five and half hours. It was tough. But I finished. I was encouraged along the way and inspired but the other runners.

I went back and trained harder. I read books, I kept logs. I ran many more miles. Eventually my marathon time got down to four hours and ten minutes. It wasn’t accidental, it wasn’t easy but hard work works.

So I have proof in my own life how to produce success. It comes with hard work. It means I can’t quit after the initial failure. I may need encouragement from others. I may need to read and study more. But if I don’t give up I will succeed.

If I could pass on one gift to others in my life, this would be it. Success is not accidental. You have to decide what you want and go for it. That’s how it works. Simple but hard. And it works.