Herbert Kornfeld - The Original Gangsta of Accountin'

Yo, this is a message foe all y'all wack muthaf**kas at Office Depot: Step tha F**K OFF, lest y'all wanna brawl wit' tha H-Dog an' tha rest of tha Midstate Office Supply krew. 'Cuz if it come to that, s**t ain't gonna be pretty. Tha H-Dog and his Midstate ballers will WASTE yo' sorry li'l red-polo-shirted asses. Word is bond.

Receivin beats payabos any day. Id rather be collectin and crackin skulls than payin and weepin. Money in tha bank yo. AR posse unite!

For the record, the H-Dawg does not approve of this.

http://youtu.be/yH1CQeG41eo

Accountants Gone Crazy This is a very funny sketch from Jimmy Kimmel Live about what accountants do after April 15th.

WHO STOLE MY STAPLER?!?!!

Sumtimes when the H Dawg checks out what people are sayin on Facebook, all he sees is a bunch of fools. But today the H Dawg likes what he sees, mad love to all my peeps

Yo Norman, funny you should menshin mah letter opener of death. I just slapped on some o dat Brasso Multipurpose and gave that baby a fine glossin'. Its gotso much shine i can see my fresh ass mustache in it.

Did y'all miss me cuz I haven't posted any news lately? Sorry, I just been busy. I been knee deep in the blood of those punks who don't pay their bills. The second I see aged receivables go over 60 days, I polish up my brass knuckles and pay a visit to that biznatch. And if I'm too busy crackin skulls, I just send my boy Zachary SuperPimp Glass to do the dirty work on my behalf.

Word up to mah Public Accountin' posse down at Janover LLC. Keep on crankin' that addin' machine, the tax man's a comin'.

Happy New Year to all the hustlers out there. May the world of receevin' see no bad debts in 2011.

Yo a big shout out to the newest member of my posse, Rich Meoli. We attack AP at 8am sharp.

I hope y'all didn't leave work early today cuz uh the holiday. The accountz receevin never stops. I'll be beatin' up aged receevables with my turkey leg tomorrow.

Anyone eva remove a staple, then try to re-staple the page in the exact same spot as the first staple? WELL I'M THE BEST AT THAT SO BACK OFF MY GAME SUCKA!

Yo w'sup accountants?!?

Yo, ready for a paradox? The H-Dog's got a sick-ass retiroment plan hooked up for himself, but I ain't never retiring cuz I wanna account s**t til I'm in the grave. Ya see, I gotta change my dockers jus' thinkin' bout maxin' out my annual Roth IRA contribution an' gettin' that sweet employer match on my 401(k), but I aint gonna give up the sweet life of receevables just cuz I gots a ton o' benjamins in the bank.

Today the damn Tech Support went an' upgraded my accountin' software without consultin' me first. When me and my posse logged on to Lotus, we got all this weird extra s**t I ain't never seen before. Man, I was so pi**ed, I packed my Letter Opener Of Death and invaded the Tech Support staff in the west wing of the third-floor general administrative office. Bi***es needa learn not to touch mah software!

I wanna send a shout-out to my homies around the office, and all the other righteous folks who be down with the H-Dog: my posse in Accountz Reeceevable, Gary, Linda, and Gladys; Ruth B. down in Inventory; my Disciples in Accounting; the gang over at Snap-Rite Corporation, makers of funky-dope spreadsheets and fly file folders; them cafeteria bi***es Theresa and Donna; and Principles Of Accounting, Volume 4. Peace.

Full-scale, crazy-ass turf war between tha A.R. an' tha A.P! Not a day go by without me havin' 2 use tha Letta Opener O' Death on a Accountz Payabo punk. Dayumm!

Yo, much love to tha old-school geezer who invented double-entry bookkeeping. I don't know who he is, but all praise to him, for he is the root on which the fruit grow. Word.