Cardoza Creative Minds

No shine

I wake up and the sun shine hits my spine.
I, a wraith still allowed to speak.
The warmth felt like eternity,
I want to cry out and scream.

Today is not my day and tomorrow I doubt will be mine too.

I toss and turn and I can feel the birds sing pierce like bullet holes into my soul.

I gave up, I quit, I get near but choose to not cease my exist.

Mother Nature thinks I need to be woken up to drink her teat. Forced “nourishment.”

She thinks showing me beautiful things will remind me of how things could be.

I spit out her nourishment and just begin to bawl. I need to be left alone. I need to blanket me in my misery.

All this before noon. I know these headaches of mine are the path of my doom.

Not a cloud in the sky, I can breathe in the clean air; chokes me into a crease of known insanity.

I will not pick up a bottle. Drinking will just empty me, a fool.

I see myself in the mirror, I contemplate what ever happened to that brave man?

I see him now just mere reflection. Knowing glass breaks I hesitate hitting him today.

Back in bed, my tears will stay today, my only friends.

-Alvaro A Cardoza
©️CardozaCreativeMinds

Through tears

I went blind unable to stop my tears.

What I thought was peace, was me forgetting to breathe.

Sleeping now, eternally.

-Alvaro A Cardoza

Countdown to n’th

A lonely field, dead grass. Never nurtured Pebbles tossed down to make a path.

Dead grass turn to sand. Brittle, coarse, barely breathable air.

Dig deep enough and find a heart. Meaningless beating, meaningless life.

Listen if you would like. That thumping sound; the only proof needed to know I am real.

-Alvaro A Cardoza

null

My words are the void that fill your heart.

Time ties them together, distance attempts to rip them apart.

I pen them with a marker on my mirror.

If erased their reflection will still read them clear.

-Alvaro A Cardoza
©️CardozaCreativeMinds

Stillness

The adoration of looking deep into your lust filled eyes.

Ready for me to pounce.
Ready for me to shred you of all proof you were wearing anything.

You feel my teeth, lips, tongue change you like a full moon becoming instantly a lunar eclipse.

Only I know, only I see you in the stillness of light.

I touch, I fo**le, I eat, devour you never stopping.
I do not want any moment wasted.
I want every moment to make you rise in all
I do to you.

Using you to become my sheet of music that rips a rift in time. Infinity feels seconds short of a minute and minutes falling nowhere near what could be hours.

Climax remain plural because I will not be sedated by one drink, one ongoing, lingering sip, one inviting entrance to you.

I return to you with revisions as I always stay intoxicated, drunk, full of you.

Every outro existing just to pace our heartbeats on the same beat, melody to open you back to another intro.

No repeats, your peaks always achieved. Holding you ever loving after. Like a perfect ending romance scene.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-
©️CardozaCreativeMinds

Your design

No flask able to carry the weight of petals.

Petals collected, creating a beautiful version of life.

When held together, make you.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-
©️CardozaCreativeMinds

Endearing

I will tear into your body to usurp every neglected masterpiece stroke you have needed. Spatial release.

Your botanical nectar full of vitamins that are possessive of whom they feed.

Growth, hardened stem ready to enter the world I want to save, give a sense of peace.

When finished we sign on the dotted line. Your letters engraved in calligraphy embrace.

My arm locked around you. Rest easy, rest now. You are complete.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-
©️CardozaCreativeMinds

Lack of color

The light dims on us creating shadows.
Ethereal spirits casting on mirrored walls and floorboards.

I track your legs’ tingling surfaces from the release my tongue spoke between you.

I continue hungry for the recipes I tasted, swallowed from you.

Tonight will be timeless.
Tomorrow, immortalized.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Intense Passion

My hand fallen on top of your head as you lean into your favorite instrument.
Your lips and tongue creating musical sounds, pure symphony.

My fingers, having gaps, holding on to your hair, pulling you forcefully.
You moan and glance, staring into my eyes, they smile with me intentionally.

My leg muscles tighten as your hands cup me, squeeze me, your mouth, magic.
You taste the thick cream, swallowing, none dripping, ready to be taken passionately.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

My path

I wake up, walk on the boardwalk.

Leading myself to the path of seashells.
Leading myself to the lighthouse.

And only there I watch the sunset.
Everyday, continuing, to wait for you.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Dream/Reality

I feel every pore within me catching their breath.
Having dreamt experiencing you, a treat confined in my mind.

Every touch, real, parched, nothing close to quench my much-needed release.

I replay the dream.
The way I filled you with desire.

Waking your body like rain drops on flower petals.

I need a needle to burst the dream.
Seep into my reality.

An acquisition to connect all of your sensory blissful needs.

I know everything that would come after.
Holding you, warmth to warmth, enjoying the smiles we share.

Your palace you allowed entry to, knowing now what I bring.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Stories

Everything feels like it falls.
Nothing feels like it lifts up.

Everything like a dream swallowed by nightmares.
Nothing provided by peace.

Everything shines dark that comes into my life.
Nothing outside mine stays defined.

Everything becomes nothing when my eyes closed.
Nothing comes back when I open them again.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

I always feel you are…

Finding your soul

I stand behind you, not like a giant to see over you, not at all like a tree to cast a shadow.

I stand behind you, my hands touching your shoulders. My lips salivating over the wanting need to feel your neck.

I stand behind you, giving in to my needs, my lips encounters your neck. Sliding down in a journey that is mine to take.

I stand behind you, your shoulders well exposed and feeling your smile watching me. I continue my search in kisses to touch your soul.

I stand behind you, you drop your dress like a magician’s trick. Your hands reach mine to wrap them around you.

I stand behind you, but not for much longer as you lead me to the place where you will allow me inside to your body, soul, heart to no ends.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Lease at Least
-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Rivets on my soul are pages ripped down the middle. No one now able to know me.

Heart with mis-beats, something this broken should never be kept. Even healed, the scars are porous. Breathing openly.

The solution lies not in the tears that I have cried. Those carry just summarized stories of me.

Faulted misery that swims in my corneas as their only means to survive. I hold my breath, hoping there will be change in my scenery.

©️CardozaCreativeMinds

All about you

I did not know that the skies I looked at were different depending on my headspace.
The variable blue hues may all seem alike but none ever define how much I miss you.

The morning pink hues hugging sunlight creating an orange spectrum light.
But none of those colors could quote how entangled my heart and soul are aligned with you.

Open clear skies, sun downpouring her rays, no clouds in sight.
She comes close to being able to identify how I want my belonged space next to you.

All the sudden the rift of time collides with the change of day to night.
The sparkling twinkles above with their King the waxing crescent moon. A noted reminder I want all of my days to end next to you.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Desires disrobed

Hotel room we checked into, tonight we write poetry with our bodies.

Kissing you with such ferocity, time ceases each time we catch our breaths in between.

Your eyes give me reprieve and bolster me alive. Almost like our very first time.

Curtains opened to avoid our shadows getting jealous knowing they are mere copies of the things we do.

We create our own heat, you are peacefully asleep, your hands holding on to mine.

I watch you as now time has returned making night flee to make room for a new today. Time’s wizardry.

In your sleep I kiss you one more time before I go, meet you in our dreams.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

In bonds

Your wrists, I give each two kisses before I wrap them, tie them up, bind them.

I give the rope a tug making sure they will not come loose. Advantage to me tonight.

Your fingers fluttering a wave to me as I make my way to your neck.

Eager to be touched, you move your head allowing me to freely touch your nape.

My index finger lays out the places I will stop on my chosen route.

My lips delivering kisses along the way.

I know I am going the right way. Your goosebumps and moans tell me to continue without delay.

Stopping for a few seconds to enjoy the delight of you in your complete n**e, nothing hiding everything in sight.

My hands reach your tied ones. A comfort given to you, reminding you without words you are safe with me.

Our lips meet, always on time. And by that I mean the need to be touched upon mine.

Your wrists bound, the physical representation of the given bound you gave me.

Truthfully haunting to my heart that my always will be to be your needs to be met.

A vision in the infinite vast of my soul, endlessly whispering, you belong to me.

In those seconds, I return with my eyes matching on yours. You smile, wondering where in my mind did I go.

I untie your wrists and bring you to me, holding you close. You have allowed me to create with you, eternity.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Pure

The way you make me feel, changes that which is me.

You threaded me in color away from shades of misery.

No longer feeling like I have no meaning.

I take your hand knowing I have everything.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Before you arrived

I thought I was going to wake; today will be your saddest day.

I had flowers picked out for you too. A whole day planned out.

These are now not even dreams, empty picture frames. No memories.

You will move on. You will find peace. All of it without me.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Dead before you arrived

I thought I was going to wake. I saw myself from above.

Today will be your saddest day.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

The needs of others are the needs that rise ahead of the broken need.

However broken, it matters none there is no time.

Standing up with a limbic system that lives in rips and tears. Knowing chaos never dies inside.

The heart sits indented, half split, half heart beats are out of synch.

Those heart beats in synch only hurt the lungs when the need to breathe has a need to occur.

Practicing being human feels like the only choice left to be.

Care to trust. And trust to care. By definition either one could collapse and not mean anything.

The night event takes place meaning time to sleep and shed the outer layer of feelings before they seep inside.

Suffocating with no pause given. No rest. Passing out. Tomorrow, possibly worse than what today seemed.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Take her to desires that she should always be given. Tear that line that fuse fantasy into her reality.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Oxygen

I was fleeting until I found new waters to experience. Slowly, I engaged with it. Lightly treading, my fingers dipping in to feel new exhilarations. Refreshing awe, a touched frightened to dive in. Not knowing the other side, how deep these waters could be.

Each day, I would go back and each time I would feel right, the fabric of my soul already knowing I am exactly where I have always wanted to be. No longer frightened I would splash the water onto myself. Each speckle drop falling onto me, giving me untold reminders that I will never need to leave.

Then one night I found myself unable to sleep, unable to be comforted by the stars gazing back at me. I got up and went out to the waters that since the day I found them had continued calling for me. Untainted by the reflection of the night sky, I could see how clear, pure the water laid there for me.

This night I dived in, submerged myself completely into the water without any additional thought. Slow falling deeper, my identity of me becoming clearer. I felt intense passion surround every part of me. Warmth cleverly placed into me.

Ideas of breathing left me as I continued further than anything I ever experienced before. These waters now solely belonged to me.

These waters became part of me. These waters are for me. Beautifully complete I now felt. Being able to breathe in my waters, knowing I never again would feel lonely.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Tangled webs

Waking up spun in entanglements that degrade me with no clearance made for me to feel some satiable peace.

Not cornered, just forced fed defeat. My sad brown eyes bellow stories of the many why’s I have no explanations to me.

I do not hide, I may just be crumbles of what long ago was once a complete human being. I still live. A leaf blown of a stem of something once beautifully unique.

To whatever may arrive one day, my last day, I will not sing a single chorus to what will be my defeat.

The life I live has no heavenly voices. I am a patriarch of my experiences. Carrying a pocket filled dangerously with broken destinies.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

You are the universe

I stare into you, the universe I want to explore.

Beginning through your mind, into your soul, anchor myself onto your heart.

I would then breathe across your body, into the netherworld between your legs.

Where the sweetest drink coexists with one of your many erogenous zones.

I feel myself finding your every whole link into every part of me.

Approaching you, discovering you, claiming you. All of you.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Destination

Your moans are points on the map I go.

My destination you open up to me, for further exploration.

Sights such as you allow me to see are meant for me to feel, taste, reach.

With unnecessary guidance I spread your legs, peaks with the most beautiful waterfall in between.

The waterfall releasing nourishment only when you are touched right and you allow entry.

Warmth, wet, perfect natural aroma, reminders your sacred places are meant to be explored time and time again.

Unforgettable, exactly what you are. Every part, every experience with you are the contour lines that I will breach, trace, draw.

Giving you me, while lighting up your paths, leaving you knowing your allowed exploration I look forward to naturally like the need to breathe.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Lyrical abyss

I want to fill you up and make you feel like the song that comes on the radio and you know every word to.

Make you recognize my thrusts as the chorus that not only excites you but romanticize you.

Leaving you, knowing this will not be one moment but will be replayed convincingly again and again.

But the song is only as good as how much it inspires you to move too. Just as my thrusts need to feel you deep, my tongue needs to sing inside you.

And when your climax rises signaling me that you know you have been heard. I listen to the shudders, shaking legs that I love to feel.

Lying on top of you our eyes sight on sight, we reveal that what I give you, will always be real.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Saved embrace

There are never any simple moments that would or even could stop the feelings of the heaven's sun rising up; the same feeling felt when we are in each other's embrace. Like leaves falling liberated from what once was thought home, you chose to free fall.

Knowing not where you would land, just a faithful hope you would be caught. I was the one that saw you as you took that freefall. I was the one that caught you.

I feel your smile in your words that you transcribe and send to me daily. The minutes of added total seconds further extend to the timeline that will have us face to face, loving hand into loving hand, warm body pressed against warm body.

The only tears that will arrive are those that come from you, knowing, feeling that your free fall plunge was right, that I catching you was right, that you are right where you have always been longing to be.

Smile, laugh, even giggle of the thought that the beautiful moments that enter your mind that you share with me in mind will be existing realities. Where your hands that play with your thoughts sliding onto your body's most personal spots are the ones that I myself will explore completely.

You became mine, the moment we both felt seeking the same life. Unity extending further than anything we ever had explored, known before.

Touch yourself, explore yourself as you know yourself. Know that each seeping creamy liquid that exits from you will be one day tasted by every part of me. Almost contract like sealing our destinies to be always, forever intertwined.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Touch

Your touch showed me I was never worth saving ever again.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Always has a direction

This way to always.

This way to beautiful realities.

This way to me.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

All of you

Wear what you want.
Wear nothing if you so choose.

Either way, I will enjoy all of you.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

When I found you

When my soul connected with yours, I knew I had found eternity.

I always knew how textbooks defined eternity as.
I always knew how I imagined eternity as.

This connection made all my walls and doorways to my heart fall, break down.

Next thing I knew what I felt inside me was right, words lighted up like a match inside darkness.

This one to love.
This one to protect.
This one for you.

What a beautiful, eternal view.

Never will I ever let go of this connection, held by me and you.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Enrich

I will enrich myself with you.

By giving you…

Love, lust, pleasure, taste, embrace.

Every single day.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

One day

When I lay you down on the bed, I will devour you completely.

Leaving your legs shaky, your heart beating, your soul more alive than ever before.

And your mind...

In peace knowing this is what you have always been wanting, waiting for.

-Alvaro A Cardoza-

Su***de is no joke. The weight of sadness can be heavier than all the love in the world. Never forget that the person that can make you laugh and smile may be carrying such weight. Goodbyes can be permanent so always make the effort, the time to say your hello’s.

Dial 988 We can all help prevent su***de. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.

***deprevention ***deprevention