Joshua Kay

🖤

I would not say I am “lucky” to have experienced the counsel/friendship/support of a few people. Only three people come to mind when I look back on my life that pertain to this post. They shared their best. They were who they were. Maybe I can try to call it fate. I suppose I am writing today to say that we meet certain people at certain times for certain durations on our path. We learn from them not because they claim it, or because they try to be a “teacher”. There are not so much defined roles as there are two people whole-heartedly present to wisdom. There is not a “better” one. Every wise person has received from another wise person. I’m beginning to wonder if “wise” is a hard-won way of being. We don’t hold on to anything. This means things come and go. Nothing is forced. They may not even be directly in my life anymore, but they are likely alive somewhere continuing their work too. Having been in their proximity and experiencing the connections we have had is one of the dearest things that is not just memory. I am who I am because they have been a part of my story. Their lives have elevated any ideas I had of possibility, humility, power, Divinity, and service. I am grateful for each one.

I don’t know that there can be any more valuable a meaning than what we do with the personal capacities we realize and hone.

What do people who have got everything they wanted have in common?…It’s pretty much all of us. We all eventually get what we want, even if we realize later it is no longer what we want. Typically, we move on to trying to have the next thing. We hope it’s this thing, this time, that will make us happy.

We can subscribe or come undone. By come undone I suppose I mean realize what components make up our experience of ourselves/the world, and what that teaches us about Nature.

Instant access to bright screens offer us information, but it is not my experience that it wakes us up to the bigger “screen” we play on. If anything, currently, these bright screens seem to distract us more than teach us.

What can learning mean? What is the difference between understanding and organization?

Waking up is realizing life somehow is helping us see beyond illusions. It is my experience that there is little understanding where there is clinging. There is opportunity for potential to realize itself where there is surrender. Strength is not the ability to hold firm or expend massive energy, but the commitment of developing oneself to be more understanding, adaptable, resilient, and “in tune”. Great energy does great work. Great work happens wherever this is great energy.

The body is a network. We have to keep our network cooperating and clear. We can learn how the network works by studying what it produces. We peer and see parts even in the image. From whence does this come? Of what is “it” really?

We can move from movie-goers to more awakened actors in the cosmic dance. This is just another beginning. Sometimes, it is not effort that brings realization, it is the courage of admitting what we DON’T KNOW (and often don’t need to) and the steadfastness to experience sometimes gut-wrenching, painful, confusing, life circumstances sincerely. The truth can be ugly too. Being honest with ourselves is how things begin to get better.

Some awakened souls awoke not because they were trying to or because they even knew it was something that could happen. They wake up because they live with steadfast and sincere hearts.

There is a kind of surrender that is not giving up. There is the kind of surrender that is the opposite. There is a kind of surrender that is utter acceptance. An acceptance for what it really is. This is a precious space, because all of a sudden anything can happen. ✨🥺🖤.

Matthew 17:1-9….1. Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter and James and his brother John and led them up a high mountain, by themselves. 2. And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became dazzling white. 3. Suddenly there appeared to them Moses and Elijah, talking with him. 4. Then Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here; if you wish, I will make three dwellings here, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” 5. While he was still speaking, suddenly a bright cloud overshadowed them, and from the cloud a voice said, “This is my Son, the Beloved; with him I am well pleased; listen to him!” 6. When the disciples heard this, they fell to the ground and were overcome by fear. 7. But Jesus came and touched them, saying, “Get up and do not be afraid.” 8. And when they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus himself alone.

Second Reading: 2 Peter 1:16-21

16. For we did not follow cleverly devised myths when we made known to you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we had been eyewitnesses of his majesty. 17. For he received honor and glory from God the Father when that voice was conveyed to him by the Majestic Glory, saying, “This is my Son, my Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.” 18. We ourselves heard this voice come from heaven, while we were with him on the holy mountain.
19. So we have the prophetic message more fully confirmed. You will do well to be attentive to this as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.

(Painting by Mike Moyers, “Transfiguration”)

https://jdshankles.wordpress.com/2023/03/02/sunday-february-19th-2023-unexplainable-stories-a-transfiguration-sermon-on-2-peter-116-21/

There are moments where we can feel again “all is actually well”. It is an overall feeling we might find again by some effort of stepping away and saying no to what we’ve been giving our energy to…from slowing down…from getting in touch with our soul again.

Of course, we know all is not totally well in the world, but right now we are okay within ourselves again. We are bringing wellness to ourselves and our world.

There are voices unnumbered that distract us. There are also beliefs we have picked up that say we are not doing enough or doing it right if our life doesn’t appear to others a certain way. Some people might still believe happiness is about money, and success is if we believe others believe we are “successful”…(what a fu***ng waste).

I wonder if we are not so much wrestling with others as we are learning to accept our process and all of our amazing qualities. Regardless if others recognize or appreciate it.

Falling in love with myself is me being in who I really am and sharing this wholeheartedly with the world. My goal has been to learn, grow, live well, and be effective in some way no matter where I am. My personal “effect” is unique, because I am. I know this effect because I am coming to know myself, and because of what people share.

What is your personal “effect”? What makes you unique? Where do you really shine? Are you, like me, continually mustering the courage to stand in your truth and take risks? Are you willing to shine even when it hurts, when you’re mislabeled, when you don’t feel loved…when hope feels like it must be mustered again?

The thing about being authentic is that it can sometimes feel lonely. We know we are not actually alone, and we are learning how to honor ourselves by no longer giving to that which doesn’t also give to us.

It’s true…that in those moments we meet someone’s eyes who really sees us, we are reminded again that our sacrifices to get here are seen. It’s not why we do what we do, but we’re reminded how we’ve become more capable of enjoying real intimacy…this great pleasure in life.

Sometimes a message comes through oddly specific. It feels like it’s something you wouldn’t just “make up”. It’s important to pay attention in our dreams. It is especially important if it’s regarding something you’re currently navigating. Sometimes, it is to help you understand something that you’ve been on the fence about. Dreams are a state where we may be available to receive in a way we’re not normally tuned to. It could be that even a small confirmation or bit of information helps us feel more empowered as we move forward. We can learn to trust ourselves and our support 🖤.

Don’t lose your wonder. Some of you may have never really known a deep and unconditional love, or been with someone who was love. It can feel sad to miss this, but we don’t have to wait for it. Loving ourself and becoming that love first isn’t a Hollywood script that would make as much money…but it does make us rich. It does mean we’ll be able to recognize the quality of love and other qualities in others that we may want to share ourselves with…once we have realized some of it first ourselves. Yes, we don’t need a “fix”, there isn’t somewhere we need to arrive at, and we’re always learning and growing. True love is rare for a reason, and that is because it undoes everything that isn’t. It takes real courage to be honest with ourselves and others, to allow the old to come undone, and to be willing to be uncomfortable in our process to realize the peace we want. It’s a process of not running or avoiding. A process of kindness, anger, boundaries, and a whole spectrum of qualities. Realizing our unique power comes with a lot of endings, but with many beautiful new beginnings.

✨

🙏🏼

to the aid that comes after betrayal. to the mystery that protects and challenges. justice…comfort in loss…companion for the courageous.

a painting i made several days ago, when the intensity of energies were at a climax. what is revealed is what is revealed.

“There is a space for everything.”

“Portrait of a Man”.

i am noticing my willingness to spend more time on one painting. it could be that i need the painting process especially more right now, and i am not trying to “get” anywhere. the act of painting a piece brings stages of appreciation and goodbyes. i can appreciate how a layer/part of the process looks, but if the painting is not “done” yet i must move on. this process mirrors my life, especially the last year. there are people and places that are no longer a part of my routine, i am not who i used to be, and i have felt the feelings that come with grief and the hard-won acceptance that follows…a kind of new appreciation and permission to be who i have needed to become. the art i create is evidence.

(from my website) “Poured Out” is a series of oil paintings I created in 2023. It is appropriately titled “Poured Out”, because this is how I felt while making the series.

A brush was not used to create these paintings. Paint was applied to canvas by hand via wet fabric.

There were times I felt like I was painting and also times I felt like I was carving…what a unique experience.

I can let whatever I feel come through. Even (especially) the pain. I can work with it to make something beautiful. Beautiful because I am still showing up. The heart is the place from where I love. It’s the place that has known betrayal and violence too. I know what it’s like to be ripped in half. I know what it is to be alive. We don’t judge the blood of a birth, and I won’t judge mine.

Hi friends. You can begin scrolling through my newest series of oil paintings on my website 🖤🙏🏼. www.wingedways.com

My painting titled “Z”. This is a larger work ready for a lifetime (or more) of enjoyment. If favorites are a thing, it’s one of the favorites I’ve made. It is now professionally framed/preserved, and behind museum glass in a wooden frame. Acrylic Gouache paint. The painting itself is 20x42 inches…so overall a bit bigger than that.. Purchases also support the good work of the . You can visit and see it in the Art Walkway at the Longmont United Hospital in Longmont, Colorado.

You can now stop by and see some of my paintings in the Longmont United Hospital Art Walkway ❤️. They are for sale too! (just walk in)….A special thank you to for the support and opportunity through the .

getting my art installed with through the 😊. you can walk in and see it in the art walkway at the Longmont United Hospital for the next several months. my art is for sale.

Marking the beginning of a new project, while I prepare to hang some pieces for show beginning this Wednesday. (I will post content then for you to see). Inspiration is coming from my experience, and what I feel is first beneficial for me. We’ll see where this goes 😊

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one of my newest oil paintings. if you can feel my soul, I’m doing something right. i poured so much into this new series. i do not have a date to officially show this new group yet, but I hope to post the series on my website in the coming weeks. they will be for sale. if you have the itch to inquire about seeing them before then, please contact me through my website, or here 🖤…

Picked up this big painting from the framer 🤯🥳. You can see it in person in Longmont, Colorado very soon. With six other works of mine. Details coming soon.

no matter where we go, we bring ourself. the heaviness is the other end of the light. the happiness is somewhere within the sadness. they are all somewhere together, and they go wherever we go.

Preparing for an art exhibition of mine beginning 11/1 that goes for three months, working on a new series of work, listing my latest series I haven’t released yet, and beginning a new project I’m excited about.

being an artist in Colorado gives lots of inspiration. Fall is always my favorite ☺️. I’ll be listing this painting on my website this evening. www.wingedways.com

and then there’s this guy. 9x12 inch painting.

9x12 inches. what i made today. when i am painting, i often don’t feel pain.

My paintings are like beings representing something I’ve realized through myself, through the creative process. My new oil painting series (I will begin to show more of soon) embody the depths of soul and the illumination that makes relationship and understanding possible. Seeming polarities still are of one, and none.

heading out for a while

What is your biggest dream? 🤓