Darlene Antaya Memorial Page

Always 🤍🪽

🤍

I will always be thankful for the 24 years I had with my mom and the 33 years I had with my gram 🤍 both who loved me unconditionally

To the Mother (Without a Mother) on This Mothers Day,

I see you.

I see you spend day after day raising your sweet, precious babies (yet second guessing everything you do). And I see you, day after day, aching to be able to call her, just to get her reassurance that you are doing it right.

But I see you raising them anyway.

I see you walking through the shopping mall with your little hearts, and every single time you walk pass a child strolling along hand-in-hand with their mother and grandmother, I see your heart shatter a little bit inside.

But I see you walk along anyway.

I see you sat in the restaurant with your family, and when you catch eye of a grandmother feeding her sweet little grandchild a spoonful of ice cream for dessert, I see you want to ask for the bill. Immediately.

But I see you sit and eat anyway.

I see you wanting to bake a batch of cookies for your precious little ones, and instead find yourself stood at your kitchen counter wiping away tears, for you are wishing that you could call to get her recipe; the best recipe.

But I see you bake the cookies anyway.

I see your shoulders tighten up every time your child asks about your mother.

But I see you talk about her anyway.

I see your smile vanish (and be replaced by a forced one) whenever your girlfriends talk about planning a beautiful Mothers Day with their children and their mothers - When all you really wanna’ plan is a day hid under the covers.

But I see you plan your day anyway.

I see you dread every birthday, anniversary, holiday and event, just wishing that she was there (right by your side) to witness it all.

But I see you celebrate anyway.

I see you.

I see you aching for those phone calls. those visits. those reassurances. those moments.

I see you thinking time and time again “if only I could call mom right now to ask her.”

I see you wishing that you could share that social media meme of ‘my mom is my best friend’.

(instead of getting goosebumps every time you see the one that reads ‘i miss my mom’.)

I see you, Friend.

This weekend. And every weekend.

wanting her.
needing her.
wishing for her.

Happy Mothers Day to you, Mother Without a Mother.

We may not have our mothers here, but we do have each other.

And while this is a club that no mother of little hearts would ever want to be in -

We can be grateful for it, just the same.

Signed,
A Mother Without a Mother

Follow Love Always, Heather for more. x

This photo was recently shared with me. Just when you think there’s no more pics of her, nevermind of us together. Love you more than ever, miss you every day. Happy heavenly Mother’s Day, to the woman who set the bar of being a great mom, really high. Xoxo Babe

WHEN YOU SAY GOODBYE TO A PARENT~~
You are suddenly living in a whole new world.
You are no longer ‘the child’ and regardless of how long you have officially been ‘grown up’ for, you realise you actually never were until this moment. The shock of this adjustment will shake your very core.

When you have finally said goodbye to both your parents, assuming you were lucky enough to have had two. You are an orphan on this earth and that never, ever gets easier to take no matter how old and grey you are yourself and no matter how many children of your own you have.

You see, a part of your body is physically connected to the people that made it and also a part of your soul. When they no longer live, it is as if you are missing something practical that you need – like a finger or an arm. Because really, you are. You are missing your parent and that is something far more necessary than any limb.

And yet the connection is so strong it carries on somehow, no-one knows how exactly. But they are there. In some way, shape or form they are still guiding you if you listen closely enough. You can hear the words they would choose to say to you.
You can feel the warmth of their approval, their smile when a goal is achieved, their all-consuming love filling the air around you when a baby is born they haven’t met.

If you watch your children very closely you will see that they too have a connection with your parents long after they are gone. They will say things that resonate with you because it brings so many memories of the parent you are missing. They will carry on traits, thoughts and sometimes they will even see them in their dreams.

This is not something we can explain.
Love is a very mystical and wondrous entity.
It is far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all and grief, grief is the price of that love. The deeper the love the stronger the grief.

When you say goodbye to a parent, do not forget to connect with that little girl who still lives inside you somewhere.
Take very good care of her, for she, she will be alone and scared.
When you say goodbye to your parents, you lose an identity, a place in the world. When the people who put you on this earth are no longer here, it changes everything.
Look after yourself the way they looked after you and listen out for them when you need it the most.
They never really leave.~

~Donna Ashworth

I never walk alone 💜