Jonathan K. Horstmann

Vacation face

10 yrs ago, drunk on whiskey, I let another whiskey drunk man freehand a large tattoo on my hand. I’ve been looking at that hideous mess for a decade. I had looked at laser removal and planned coverups but in the end decided it was a good reminder of my mistakes.
I recently began tattooing myself again. I hadn’t in a long long time as that, too, was very connected to my lifestyle when I was using. 4.5 yrs sober now and I decided I could trust myself with my own art again. So I blasted over that sad hand tattoo. The feeling I have of taking back my body and releasing shame and guilt is nothing short of euphoric. I was surprised at how emotional I became upon finishing and I realized why I had left it for so long: I had to be the one to blast over it. It had to be me.

Still basking in the these feelings brought up by our write up in last week and our experience. A 7 minute piece about my struggles with addiction dropped on Spin the same day as the feature. I saw it while I was waiting in airport security with my 2 year old after missing an earlier flight. I cried. She cried. We were both tired haha. I think now I’m able to process. Maybe. As hard as we’ve worked, I think the real work is just beginning. But we do have a really great new record waiting in the wings and a fanbase and a city that fully believe in us so I believe we will be ready to rise to the occasion. Side note: there are a couple of sentences in this article that I just read over and over and over. It feels so validating to have your art and the blood, sweat and tears that you throw into your work recognized and celebrated.

Can we live here forever?
📸
🤺

We make plans and the universe just laughs. There’s quite a story behind one of the pieces we made this week. I am meticulous when it comes to my art but there seemed to be an unseen hand of circumstance directing the entire thing. We worked with what we had, nothing was “optimal” but I was exactly as it needed to be. The track had to be recorded in hotels and casino bathrooms, the performance had to be from a person so exhausted and raw that they felt they were at a breaking point. I count myself extremely blessed to be a part of a creative process, and the more I give myself over to it not being MY creative process but someone or something else’s, the better the work in the end. And of course it’s never the end, we just get to choose little punctuations and chapter markers. I can’t wait to share it.

Thanks for orchestrating and capturing the chaos.

Get in losers

Self imposed Vegas exile. Super raw this tour but channeling it into the work.

This was 3 weeks into nonstop shows. 3 weeks out of the gym. I have a very trying relationship between my body and my self-worth, but I also just FEEL better when I’m sore from a workout (except for leg day, HATE sore thighs). I see these photos and start picking myself apart. I worked really har to put on 10 lbs of muscle before tour and I had lost 7 lbs by the time I got back. I don’t know how I need to change my strategy or how my relationship with food and training need to evolve, and maybe there isn’t really an answer to that. Maybe I eat what my body wants and train as hard as I can whenever I can for my mental health and stop picking myself apart. Don’t know if I’ll get there or why I’m posting this, but I felt like being vulnerable and with my other account being the official band one it felt like I could get real here for a second. Everyone is struggling with something, regardless of what the images may look like to someone else.

Power up achieved

We’ve been nominated for BAND OF THE YEAR and SONG OF THE YEAR in the 22-23 Austin Music Awards. I’m just so humbled and honored. If you feel like taking a second to show some love the link is at the top and at

NYE plans? I hear with is gonna go OFF. Oh, and we’ll be playing too. 📸

The universal language

I musta been a mf SAINT in a past life cuz lord knows I don’t deserve her in this one.

After the success of our first national headlining tour, one thing is apparent: we are going to be spending many more months on the road in the future. I’ve spent my whole life waiting for this, preparing for this. There’s one little thing I didn’t factor in when I was daydreaming about being a touring musician as a kid. Actually TWO little things, tbh: my lil scroompas. When our first was born everything shifted. Everything I wanted in life. Then 4 years later I saw my personal dream starting to become a reality, my dream of artistic legacy. This is requiring a shift in how I look at my career goals. It’s no longer success at any cost. It cant come at the cost of their growth and their relationship with me. So now the dream is different, and it will require more work, attention, and delicateness than I previously considered myself capable of. I wrote Hannah this morning from a hotel in Las Vegas, after our final show of this leg of touring, to let her know that “making it work” isn’t an acceptable outcome. “Making it work” sounds like just scraping by and coming out of this intact. I want to create the model. I want to create the model for how to have a thriving, connected family while nurturing a burgeoning artistic endeavor. I know the first step is to put them first at all times especially when on the road, and being the most present, fun, intuitive father I can when I’m home. I won’t get another shot at this. So here’s a rare public pic of my lil Ta**us and Virgo, visiting me in LA. I hope it brings you 1% of the joy it brings me.

We’ll definitely be coming back to the west coast soon. Normally a band is just trying to break even on their first major tour but we are actually making money. The path to making this a full time gig is taking shape before us, the ancestors and elders guiding our hands. It is a wild feeling, to have that small voice in the back of your mind become more present. I couldn’t be more grateful for this experience.

I just realized this page still existed and all my IG posts were going to it Lolol. What’s up y’all?

Just three hungry boys
(figuratively and literally) eating road on our way
west.
11/3 El Paso, TX
11/4 Scottsdale, AZ
11/5 Yuma, AZ
11/6 Long Beach, CA
11/8 San Francisco, CA
11/9 Arcata, CA
11/10 Portland, OR
11/11 Seattle, WA
11/12 Bellingham, WA
11/13 Eugene, OR
11/14 Sacramento, CA
11/15 Los Angeles, CA
11/16 Las Vegas, NV
Thanks for the caption. Always lookin out homie 😂

We left for tour the day after ACL and I haven’t really had a chance to process but occasionally a photo or video will pop up and I get to just take a moment and be proud of what we’ve managed to accomplish this far. It’s pretty freaking cool. Thanks and for helping me look fly and express myself. Thanks for snapping the pic.

Today’s finally the day. It’s hard not to feel excited but my general approach is that every show is just another opportunity to get the work done, go to war, chop heads.

Still, today fees poignant AF.

My happiest of happy places. 📸

Phantoms on film by

I’m so happy to give them these memories. Not sure what Coco’s gonna remember from this period, but I’ll take the hugs anyway.

Whispering sweet nothings before downbeat.
Photo dump from with and at for
I’ll find some photos of our set, I’m sure they’re around. Photos by yours truly, and

Next week it’d be lovely to see ya.

This beast is a DRV on the left, and a Preamp on the right. Only mod I did was add a 6 way diode selector switch to the DRV, so you’ve got germanium, jfet, led, or 3 different pairs of silicon diodes. This thing rips and I will absolutely do a sound demo soon.

God grant me the confidence of a local band announcing “big things are coming”.

My 3 yr old took this portrait.