Lisa Kaplin

From the archives: How can any of us tap into the drive and excitement of Olympians if there is no gold medal at the end of our workday? How can we persist without commercial contracts and Wheaties boxes with our picture on it? On my blog this week are a few ideas that aren’t as glamorous as a speech to the academy, but still may be useful to the rest of us normal people.

http://lisakaplin.com/a-gold-medal-in-orthodontics/

A Gold Medal in Orthodontics - Lisa Kaplin I’ve been married for twenty-eight years and have watched the Olympics with my husband ever since. During every Olympic season, my husband will say some version of, “I wish there were gold medals in orthodontics.” Did I mention that he’s an orthodontist? Is my husband desperate for accolades...

From the archives: I spend a lot of time with really smart, accomplished women who are really lacking in assertiveness. When I ask these brilliant women why they aren't more assertive, I get two common answers; 1) What if I'm wrong? 2) I don't want to hurt anyone else. Let's unpack these a little bit.

Read more: http://lisakaplin.com/assertiveness-gone-missing/

Assertiveness Gone Missing - Lisa Kaplin I spend a lot of time with really smart, accomplished women who are really lacking in assertiveness.

From the archives: Although I’ve referred to my husband in many blogs, I’ve never actually asked for and received approval to write about him. My husband is one of the funniest people I know and a perfect day for him is when he says something really funny while I’m drinking and I laugh so hard that I spit out my drink. As funny as my husband is, he is also well-skilled at making me so angry that I’ve contemplated killing him. Seriously. Has he ever felt the same about me? He’ll have to write his own blog to answer that question.

Read what honesty taught me about healthy conflict: http://lisakaplin.com/first-ever-husband-approved-blog/

The First-Ever Husband Approved Blog - Lisa Kaplin Although I’ve referred to my husband in many blogs, I’ve never actually asked for and received approval to write about him.

From the archives: In uncertain times, remind yourself that your worst fears only win if you give up on life because of them.

http://lisakaplin.com/finding-joy-amidst-lifes-what-ifs/

Finding Joy Amidst Life’s What Ifs - Lisa Kaplin This pandemic has triggered a wide range of feelings for so many of us. Lately, I’ve been hit with the “what ifs.”

From the archives: Sexual harassment isn’t funny, it isn’t “just a joke” or being “too friendly.” It’s miserable and uncomfortable for those of us who have been the victim of it. It’s time for it to stop.

The Most Outrageous Harassment Story. Or is it? - Lisa Kaplin A fun and interesting component of my work is to go to different companies and talk to their employees about diversity, inclusion, and sexual harassment.

Singing songs with a crowd of thousands who know every word of those songs is so powerful, so connecting, and so hopeful in a world that seems ridiculously divided.

http://lisakaplin.com/the-joy-of-live-music-and-a-good-crowd/

The Joy of Live Music and A Good Crowd - Lisa Kaplin Right after the 9/11 attacks, I watched a TV event for the victims. It was the first time I heard The Dixie Chicks. I was an immediate fan.

From the archives: As part of the work I do, I lead anti-sexual harassment seminars for a variety of companies around the country. From July 1st until the end of October, I will do about thirty of these seminars. People often ask me about the most common situations that arise in the anti-harassment seminars. Without question, the most common comment I receive from a variety of men is this, “I’m just going to stop talking to women completely. It’s just too hard.” Essentially, these men are saying that it’s just too hard to not sexually harass women.

http://lisakaplin.com/the-sexual-harassment-lie/

The Sexual Harassment Lie - Lisa Kaplin I lead anti-sexual harassment seminars for companies and people often ask me about the most common situations that arise in the anti-harassment seminars.

What if we radically loved and accepted each other because of who we are and not despite presumed flaws?

http://lisakaplin.com/love-because-of-who-they-are-not-despite-their-flaws/

Love Because of Who They Are, Not Despite Their “Flaws” - Lisa Kaplin We all just want to be loved because of who we are and not despite who we are. What if we loved each other exactly because of who we are?

Are people quietly quitting or are they setting healthy boundaries and honoring their core values?

https://lisakaplin.com/has-covid-changed-us-forever/

Has COVID Changed Us Forever? - Lisa Kaplin I’m pretty sure that COVID has changed us, and I’m wondering if it’s forever. The change I’m noticing is about how we live our lives.

From the archives: Last week, I put my daughter on a ship to sail around the world for her semester abroad. I’ve admittedly been somewhat of a nervous mess to let my daughter take this trip. We’ll have limited connection to her, plus we will miss her like crazy. But I want my children to be citizens of the world. I want them to understand that there are different cultures, different ways to look at the world, and a responsibility to all citizens, not just those in America.

http://lisakaplin.com/letting-our-kids-fly,-or-sail,-or-drive,-or/

Letting Our Kids Fly, or Sail, or Drive, or . . . - Lisa Kaplin Last week, I put my daughter on a ship to sail around the world for her semester abroad. I’ve been somewhat of a nervous mess to let her take this trip.

From the archives: As this was my first year as an empty nester, I had plenty of time to look back and analyze my parenting experience. Here’s the one area of parenting that I might do differently if I was doing it over; I would limit the travel sports or possibly even eliminate them for my family.

http://lisakaplin.com/parenting-regrets/

Parenting Regrets? - Lisa Kaplin As this was my first year as an empty nester, I had plenty of time to look back and analyze my parenting experience.

From the archives: A few weeks ago, I had a very bad week. Or did I? I was working with a woman who nicely asked me what I was having. As I looked at her with complete confusion, I realized that she was asking what gender my future baby was going to be. The only problem with this question is that I’m not pregnant. I’m fifty-four years old and apparently I look like a middle-aged pregnant woman. My intent here is not to shame the woman who asked, in that I do believe her intentions were good, but rather to comment on the start of my possibly very bad week.

Visit the blog to see how I kept negative comments about my appearance from ruining my week: http://lisakaplin.com/a-very-bad-week/

A Very Bad Week? - Lisa Kaplin A few weeks ago, I had a very bad week. Or did I? I’m fifty-four years old and apparently I look like a middle-aged pregnant woman.

In my book, I share with you how achieve true happiness and confidence. Yes, it is possible.

Smart Women, Inspired Lives: How to Be Happy & Confident Do you long for more energy? Do you wish you could walk into any room and feel happy and confident? Do you simply want to enjoy your life more - personally and professionally? You can. Too many women today are doing more, but feeling less satisfied. Life doesn't have to be that way. With small tw...

From the archives: Whenever I hear a phrase numerous times in a day or a week, I know it’s probably something that I both need to hear and need to share. A few weeks ago I kept hearing the phrase, “Assume good intentions.”

http://lisakaplin.com/assume-good-intentions/

Assume Good Intentions - Lisa Kaplin A few weeks ago I kept hearing the phrase, “Assume good intentions.”

From the archives: The best way to manage a lack of psychological safety at work is to own your worth, believe in your talents, and stand up to the bully.

http://lisakaplin.com/psychological-safety-or-we-are-still-in-high-school/

Psychological Safety or We Are Still in High School - Lisa Kaplin A phrase I’m hearing quite a bit in the organizational space is psychological safety. It means to feel emotionally comfortable at work.

Don't expect the worst from every situation and decide to be sad before actually experiencing it. Be open to all possible emotions when the actual situation arises and see what happens.

https://lisakaplin.com/dont-be-sad-before-you-are-sad/

Don’t Be Sad Before You Are Sad - Lisa Kaplin A client said she would be devastated if she didn’t get a position she applied for. She had already forecasted not getting it and being sad.

The Way to Stop Organizational Turnover

Here’s the short answer: Change your culture from a “work is everything” motto to a“life is everything” motto and mean it. Treat your employees as the holistic, life seeking, joy seeking humans that they are. Give them interesting work and then insist that they only do that work for eight or fewer hours a day.

Click the link below to read this week's blog post and learn how to create a harmonious workplace for everyone!

https://lisakaplin.com/the-way-to-stop-organizational-turnover-its-so-much-easier-than-you-think/

From the archives: How often do we just react to what we see and hear in the moment, without really seeking to understand the whole picture or the whole story?

http://lisakaplin.com/to-understand-everything-is-to-forgive/

To Understand Everything is to Forgive - Lisa Kaplin How often do we just react to what we see and hear in the moment, without really seeking to understand the whole picture or the whole story?

From the archives: When was the last time you truly took a day off to do nothing? Rest is not indulgent, but necessary for recharging our mind, body, and spirit.

http://lisakaplin.com/a-true-day-off/

A True Day Off - Lisa Kaplin The drawback of work that one loves is it's a constant pull toward the business and away from people and things that I love to see and do.

From the archives: Being kind-hearted means taking other people's feelings into account before acting or speaking. It means being a good human.

http://lisakaplin.com/is-being-kind-hearted-a-bad-thing/

Is Being Kind-Hearted a Bad Thing? - Lisa Kaplin Recently, a friend told me that I was so kind-hearted. I wasn’t sure if he meant that as a compliment.

From the archives: I want to share something that I read recently on Facebook. Whitney Fleming, author of the blog Playdates On Fridays, shared this bit of wisdom on parenting teens. Something about it just spoke to me and I hope it does to you as well.

http://lisakaplin.com/a-beautiful-parenting-story/

A Beautiful Parenting Story - Lisa Kaplin There is a lot of unhappiness in the online world including vitriol, arguments, cruelty, and such. Then there is beauty and intelligence and kindness.

From the archives: Recently my friend, Joy, told me this story. Joy was working sixty plus hours a week doing work that she loved, but not getting paid what she deserved and certainly not getting the respect that she deserved. She asked for a raise numerous times. She was denied. She asked for an assistant. She was denied. She asked for some respect. And again, she was denied. During this time she realized how unhappy she was but she felt stuck. Joy didn’t know how to get out of her situation because she wanted to make a good living and she wanted to do work that mattered to her.

Read the rest of Joy’s story on the blog: http://lisakaplin.com/owning-life-joys-story/

Owning Your Life – Joy’s Story Joy was working sixty plus hours a week doing work that she loved, but not getting paid what she deserved and not getting the respect that she deserved.

From the archives: You can't control everything, but you can control your attitude.

http://lisakaplin.com/not-what-you-planned-make-it-better/

Not What You Planned? Make It Better. - Lisa Kaplin My daughter and I planned a fall weekend in Maine. It was rainy and cold, and just the beginning of a weekend that didn’t go as planned.

From the archives: Ten years ago, I was invited to New York to lead a training class for the American Management Association. I had three school-aged children at that time and I’d been working part time, but felt unfulfilled and exhausted from those early motherhood years. I jumped at the chance to travel alone, envisioning myself to be Marlo Thomas from the television show, That Girl. There is an iconic scene in the beginning of that show where the young, single, career woman (Thomas) throws her beanie into the air in a moment of joyful, independent womanhood. That was sure to be me as I arrived in Manhattan, ready to take on my first trip alone.

It didn’t occur to me that I wasn’t Thomas, in that I was older than her, married, had three young children, and had never traveled without my family. Plus, I don’t own a beanie. My glorious road to freedom was suddenly feeling a bit scary and maybe not as thrilling as I had originally assumed. I grew up in a generation where women didn’t really travel alone very often and business trips were predominately for men. We are only a couple of generations past a world that didn’t allow women to be alone in public . . . ever.

Go to the blog to read about how I changed my perspective and learned to love my time alone: http://lisakaplin.com/table-for-one/

-of-view

Table for One - Lisa Kaplin I grew up in a generation where women didn’t really travel alone very often and business trips were predominately for men.

From the archives: Give yourself permission to grieve. A life well-lived comes with both love and loss. Allow yourself time and space to feel both.

http://lisakaplin.com/permission-to-grieve/

Permission to Grieve - Lisa Kaplin So many of us are struggling in a variety of ways. Why can’t we give ourselves permission to grieve?

Where has your thinking become stubbornly biased? What can you do to develop an open mind?

http://lisakaplin.com/the-life-lessons-of-wordle/

The Life Lessons of Wordle - Lisa Kaplin My girlfriends turned me on to the online game, Wordle, and it has some fascinating life lessons about how our brains become biased.

From the archives: Recently, I was on a business trip in Minneapolis and actually missing the misery that comes with my latest addiction—hot yoga. I decided to find a yoga studio near my hotel in order to indulge my new love/hate relationship with yoga and yogis. Arriving just in time for the after work crowd, I set myself up in the back of a beautiful yoga room and watched one gorgeous young person after another walk into the room, set up their mat, and proceed to flex their perfect bodies as they warmed up for hot yoga. I was tired already, so I sat on my mat staring inappropriately at the yogi posing show.

Read more about how I avoided my feelings of yoga insecurity: http://lisakaplin.com/yoga-adventures-continued/

Yoga Adventures Continued - Lisa Kaplin Recently, I was on a business trip in Minneapolis and actually missing the misery that comes with my latest addiction—hot yoga.

From the archives: As part of my work, I teach executive presence classes for women. In February, I had four bright and engaged women in my class. These four women were successful, smart, and periodically struggling in male dominated work settings. As many women have found, having our voices heard and our ideas carried to fruition can sometimes be a frustrating and discouraging task.

http://lisakaplin.com/can-women-get-along/

Can Women Get Along? - Lisa Kaplin I teach executive presence classes for women. As many women know, having our voices heard and our ideas carried to fruition can be a frustrating task.

From the archives: Is it possible to have a happy divorce?

3 Steps To A Happy Divorce By Dr. Lisa Kaplin for YourTango.comIt's completely understandable and somewhat expected for people to be unhappy about getting a divorce. Nobody gets married and expects to get divorced. Divorce can be costly, frustrating, hard on your kids, and volatile. Why would anyone even consider being happy....

From the archives: Ask yourself how you can show up differently in your challenging relationships. You might find that changing your own behavior changes how others show up and behave too.

http://lisakaplin.com/the-single-best-way-to-improve-every-relationship/

The Single Best Way to Improve Every Relationship - Lisa Kaplin How often have you thought the only way for a relationship to improve, is for you to convince the other person that they need to change?