Sassy Naturalist

Goats!

I saw some today wearing leg warmers and it made me wonder….how many different type of goats are there?
200-300 different breeds…and here I was thinking it was just, Mountain goat, stinky goat and fainting goat (fyi..they don’t really faint…they just seize up and fall over. Poor dears!)
Did you know that they were among the first animals to be domesticated (even before those damn Eyptian cats!)?
They even hitched a ride on the Mayflower and hit it off in the New World. Even Abraham Lincoln liked the dang things with their weird pupils and odd balance and agility.
They really boomed at the World Fair in 1904…their glossy coats were high key alpha rizz.
Although many adore their milk and cheese (not a fan personally because one time at a party they added goat cheese to every dish and that’s just too much)….I am most grateful to these four chambered, no upper teethed, flappy eared, tiny hoofed goofballs for their discovery of coffee. Apparently they got into a bush of coffee beans and spazzed out. Their heightened energy alerted the natives to this plant and then boom…1,000s of years later, Starbucks drive thru. Thanks a lot goats!!!
Here’s to those adorable stink pots!

Not my picture.

Happy Camel Monday. This would probably be a more thematic subject for hump day, but that seems too obvious. Okay before we dive into camel facts, let’s all point out the weird arm. Do you see it? Yep, that’s a toddlers arm but it does look like mine. Awkward, huh!?
Anyways, camels are desert nerds that are perfectly evolved to withstand the scorching heat and the frigid nights. Their eyelashes aren’t just for looks, it’s to keep the sand out (which honestly is what all eyelashes are for…Maybeline!).
They also have lovely fur that keeps them snug at night but not too hot during the day. Those humps aren’t just funky domes of camel cargo, nor are they water transport devices. They are perfectly placed fat storage containers. They don’t want that stuff all over their bodies like a dang whale…that would be too hot and would look ridiculous. If they keep it on top, it’s out of the way (like Christmas decorations in your garage), but handy when you need to metabolize some fat for water and calories.
And I know what you’re thinking… how ever will I tell a Bactrain camel 🐫 from a Dromedary camel 🐪!! How can you even keep them straight!!!!!??
Don’t share this info on a first date, maybe save it for Trivia night…but Bactrain camels have two humps 🐫.
If you were to turn them on their side, their humps look like a B. And a Dromedary…you guessed it. Tip the desert loving, sand beast on its side and boom, a D. 🐪
Now you know. You’rewelcome. I hope you never lose that skill. 😉

This is a German Shepard, Malamut pitbull blue healer mix. She’s super old and has a new life problem due to some meds that make her nose a little more moist. (Yep…I said moist… sorry!). Almost daily, she has a leaf stuck to her wet nose. The delicate leaves that lie on our porch can’t fight that attractive force of capillary action (thanks water molecules) and they adhere to their new canine transporter. I laugh every time and then free my companion from this torment. It made me think…what sort of weird age problems happen to animals in the wild?
Not the sad deadly ones, but the silly annoying ones. Like…do monkeys get banana intolerant when they’re older and fart a lot in the trees? Do whales get ingrown baleen? Do sea lions get droopy ears when their hormones change?
Comment below on the silly things that you think or know happen to older critters… proving that aging sucks no matter what species you are.

In an unprecedented event on the island of Maui last Thursday, three baby doves were spotted cooing and p**ping cutely in a tree. Doves and their relatives, pigeons, are rarely seen in their baby form as they are ultra secretive and likely either ninjas or spies. More common is to see the adult versions literally everywhere…at Walmart, by that tree, above your car, in your photos from the Empire State Building, eating a giant cookie in a park, etc. The tiny offspring of these ubiquitous flocking p**p machines are much more elusive. Many believe they are recruited early out of the nest and trained in secret lairs underground until they’re full size. Once they’ve completed their boot camp, they emerge and immediate locate your clean car in the parking lot. So, to see these three sweeties perched together can only mean that they’re on assignment and likely spying on my family. I considered throwing one stone, but bird murder is not my jam. Instead I gave them side eye and told them that I was “on to them!”
I haven’t seen them since but my wallet is missing.
Keep a look out for these tiny scoundrels. Don’t trust them!

Many reptiles will conserve energy and resources during cold periods thru brumation . It’s like hibernation but with a little more activity, more mud and access to Netflix and Disney+ for binge watching.

For Earth Day today, remember that monkeys, dolphins, turkeys, and bears don’t wear sunscreen but you should. Make sure it’s mineral sunscreen. That other stuff is yuck for you and the earth. The white stuff is bear and dolphin approved. 😉

You’re likely aware that you have a distinct fingerprint pattern that can be used to identify you at a crime scene. Koalas have similar finger prints. So, next time, you should bring one with you and make sure they touch all the glass.

How many different palm tree species can you name? Can you get them all?
I’ll wait….
Did you get all 2600?
Yea, me either unless you count coconut palm 2594 times.

When Peahens (girl peacocks) get older, they don’t get hot flashes and night sweats with hormones changes. Rather they change colors and grow male (peacock) tail plumage. But they don’t tail flash because they don’t want to look like idiots.

Blue Dragon sea slugs are flashy flared out pelagic ocean dwellers that float along in the currents while feeding on stingers like jellies. They store these stinging cells and use them. Much like my kids eating waffles and trying to hug me.

Dolphins do all sorts of goofy behaviors to send messages around the pod like whistling, squeaking, clicking and splashing. Reminds me of time as a teenager I got whistled at, I squeaked, tripped and fell into the pool. It sent a message too.

Observations by onlookers and researchers found that some animals like captive elephants and birds responded to the solar eclipse by confusingly thinking it might be bedtime. Others didn’t care. I am always stoked about an earlier bedtime.

A Sapphirina is a small, blue, marine copepod with a planktonic lifestyle. It’s like a flat, glittery, oceanic roly-poly. This proves that glitter is unavoidable! Even nature makes it. Look it up because it’s super neato.

Golden Plovers fly from the arctic to tropical breeding grounds, with flights as long as 4-8 k miles. Male plumage changes to a tuxedo pattern by the end of the season. I can barely make it to school drop off without pajamas.

Manta Rays are massive fish with up to 20+ foot wingspans and can weigh 2 tons. They frequent fish cleaning stations and will stay for over an hour getting groomed. Proving that anyone can benefit from a day at the spa! Treat yo self!

Sea turtles orient and navigate using the magnetic address of the earth and can return to the very beach they were born on to lay their eggs. Yet, they confuse plastic bags and jellyfish. Reminds me of me, a marine biologist trying to do taxes.

Migratory birds(among other critters) compensate for sleep loss while traveling by taking micro-naps, sometimes with half a brain or the full brain asleep. I’m pretty sure I do this during Zoom work meetings.

Flounders are those funky fish that have both eyeballs on one side and lay on the bottom camouflaged. But they’re normal looking fish as juveniles and one of their eyes migrates to the other side . And you thought your puberty was awkward!

Walruses have pharyngeal pouches in their throats, holding ~13 gallons of air to help them bob at the surface. This is handy if you sleep 74% of the day. This would be like napping in your neighbors pool with a kids floaty around your neck. Fun!

Bats are cute flying mammals which can fly up to hundred miles an hour, yet their leg bones aren’t strong enough for walking. Bedtime is upside down…but not before they hang from their thumbs for a p**p. I know you were wondering.

Polar bears and Grizzly bears are now crossing paths and producing hybrid offspring either called “grolar bears” or “prizzlies” (depending on the dad). How am I going to remember that?Another reason climate changes sucks!

ALERT 🚨 🚨
If you’ve spent anytime outside and around plants, I just wanted to warn you that they’re sneaky sneaky and always up to something!
You think they’re just sitting here soaking up the sun and water and creating O2 thru photosynthesis, maybe providing some shade, perhaps a nut or fruit, some pretty leaves for your hat…No!!!!
They’re doing more!!! They’re engaged in an endless arms race for survival and reproduction and they’re constantly scheming and evolving new ways to use energy and attract pollinators! Not to mention all their nasty clever ways to deter getting eaten!
I mean…take a look at this beautiful Bougainvillea bush. Nice pink flowers, right?!
WRONG! These boogers evolved a way to save energy and modify their leaves to look like colorful blossoms. They’re actually quite cheap with their flower production. Look closer and you’ll see white flowers. Tiny pathetic white flowers which are cosmopolitan to all Bougainvilleas.
They hoodwinked you and the bees!!!!
Jerk plants.

Actually no. It’s just evolution. They’re not jerks or even thinking about tricking you… but I’d watch your back. Nature is clever in a molecular way. It will get ya!

New studies reveal a potential evolutionary reason for menopause…also exhibited in Orcas! Looks like wise older ladies leading the pod is enough work. I wonder if Orcas get hot flashes and weird hair too?

I met this bird the other day after it bashed into a glass window. I let it sit on my hand for 25 minutes until it woke up. And then it sat there for 7 more minutes and stared at me like I invented glass windows. Then I think it got over it and decided to sit next to me and take a bath before he returned to the flock all ruffled looking. I’m sure he lied about where he had been. Finches don’t like to admit their affection for humans….Ever since Darwin got so weird about their crazy beak evolution. *

*Now of course, this bird likely didn’t feel any of this, nor can I assume its behavior was anything similar to a human social response. Again, I know that. Animal behavior is just fun to make fun of…I recognize that finches probably don’t think about me or Darwin. But wouldn’t it be cute if he did. 😉

Lionfish are voracious, venomous and often invasive fish that can consume 400k+ fish prey a year and lay 50k eggs in a few days. Imagine if lions 🦁 ate that many antelope and had that many cubs! I would have a new daily fear.

Parrotfish use their weird stacked teeth to eat critters off of the reef, digesting the coral rock and then p**ping out tiny fragments…sand.
Your favorite beach was likely p**ped out by a fish or ocean friend. Relaxing thought. 😉 🌴

Hawksbill sea turtles specialize on eating oceanic sponges, which are essentially made of spicules of glass. That’s shards. Shards of glass! And jellyfish for dessert. I think we all agree that’s pretty impressive but also terrible role modeling.

A calico cat is any domestic cat with a tri-coloration and 25-75% white. In Japan, they’re considered lucky. Worldwide, the majority are female. At my house, they’re loud and throw up on things. Such diverse creatures. 😼

Dolphins can swim pretty dang fast (20-40mph) with perfect swimming anatomy. This is six times more powerful than a normal human and 3 times more powerful than an Olympic swimmer.
Sorry Michael Phelps.