Itsamarython

And to all a goodnight. ❤️

This CIM finish line is something I’ve dreamed about and visualized for years. So the journey of getting there is something I don’t want to forget.

Over the years, I’ve realized that while times and PRs are fun, those well-executed days are the ones that always linger in the brain.

So going into yesterday, I really wanted a smart, well-executed race. I spent most of the past few months taming my ego, reminding myself to practice gratitude and have FUN.

Training was interesting - mostly easy, steady, and marathon efforts, as anything faster (threshold paces + faster) were pretty tough on the hip. So I went into the race thinking I was MAYBE in 3:10-12 fitness. My coach, told me to go for 3:10 right off the gun. I trust Mario, but only had a couple long runs to indicate this, and we all know the marathon is relentless, especially after years away.

Well - fitness is hard to build but easier to get back. Mario was spot on with his projection.

I wouldn’t say it was easy to build running back post-op, BUT it certainly helped that I had prior experience running a bunch of sub-3:10 marathons in my 20s. I’ve also been a genetically-blessed slow twitch athlete, so I knew that if I could make it through 2-hours of running and keep fuel in, I could grind through one more hour on the course.

I also ran A LOT of hilly routes this cycle (thanks to ) so I felt really confident with my leg strength.

Other new strengths going into this were

1️⃣ Super shoes
2️⃣ Eating more than ever before (ate 1k cals in the race + a 3-day carb load)
3️⃣ Strength training
4️⃣ Training through a humid NE summer
5️⃣ Mom power (first postpartum marathon!)

The plan was to split the race as evenly as possible, knowing that my range to run anything faster than threshold (LT2) was very low, as it just wasn’t trained this cycle.

Mission accomplished. ✅

Held back for the first 10k. Ran brave through the hills through 12. Ran scared about blowing up until 18, which is when I told myself it was ok to hurt. Hung on until 23. And with 3 miles to go I was really fu***ng tired, but had no reason to stop.

A dream day. I’ll be soaking this one in for a long time.

The most magical day. 🥹

First marathon in 7 years and second fastest marathon ever. Proud of the 3:08:12 but prouder of the journey.

To everyone who helped me along the way (there are many!!) - thank you. My toes hurt and my legs are tired but my heart is so full.

Never ever ever give up on yourself. ❤️

Lift.Run.Perform CIM shakeout! 💫

Thank you to everyone who came to the shakeout this morning - our community is mighty! It's so great to be back in Sacramento for another marathon!

Tomorrow's looking overcast and cool - CIM marathoners: be patient on the hills, then go and get it!!

📸:

It’s tough to put into words what this race means to me. But let me try.

I have loved running since I walked onto the track team as a senior in high school. I don’t need to explain to you why I fell in love - if you’re reading this, chances are, we probably have a lot in common as to why we love this sport.

Non-runners don’t get it, of course. I mean I get it - getting into shape sucks. So many people quit before it gets easier.

But the magic comes from not quitting.

If you can string days…weeks…months together — running becomes a part of you. There’s nothing quite like it: that feeling of moving effortlessly through space. It almost seems unfathomable that the human body can achieve such speeds and be so resilient through the pounding. It brings us mental and physical strength. It brings us structure. It brings us COMMUNITY.

Running is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Earlier this year, a friend said: “Serious question - how much of the injury BS are you willing to go through before you decide to stop?”

It’s a valid question. Constantly starting from scratch over and over in the past 7 years - it’s been exhausting. And maybe my body isn’t what it was a decade ago. And maybe I won’t ever be a high mileage runner. And maybe I might have to be ok with stepping down from the marathon distance sooner than later. And maybe I won’t ever break 3:00 in the marathon.

So call me delusional. Or call me crazy. But, for now, I just can’t quit.

“I just need to be a master of adjustments,” I told him. “If I just mailed it in, I would always wonder ‘what if??’ So I have to keep trying.”

For me, Sunday is about taking back the marathon…taking back running and my health…and proving to myself that I can do it again. I’m sick of watching from the sidelines and I’m sick of wondering what if.

The marathon might look much different than it did when I left it 7 years ago. But I am not me without running. And marathons are hard AF, so I’m here to embrace that vulnerability.

Tbh, I truly can’t believe I made it for one more chance at this distance.

So with SO much gratitude, I’m ready to make some magic happen for 26.2 miles. 🥹

So much to be thankful for this year. 🤍

This year I’ve run more, posted less, and tried to balance life as much as possible. None of it would be possible without this team and I’m infinitely grateful.

Wishing you the best this holiday from my family to yours! 🩷

📷:

Fall races are not over! And while it's notoriously tough keeping up lifting in conjunction with running - if you've been lifting through your entire training cycle, it's important to keep the training stimulus consistent as much as possible through to the end.

But how/when to scale things back? Swipe through and use this advice for your final few weeks of training!



PMID: 33374897

People run marathons for a myriad of reasons. Me? Back in 2010 (my first marathon) - it seemed like an impossible feat. Something I’d have to work really hard for; I couldn’t just bu****it my way to the finish line.

As I ran more, paces got faster - I’ve always loved running because the work typically correlates to the outcome. I signed up for more marathons - 7 to be exact - but lost my purpose along the way.

I took running for granted and was led to believe that more is more; it left me with a broken heart and body.

But it hasn’t all been negative: stepping away from the constant stress of training gave me some of the greatest joys of my life: my 2 babies…strength training…a coaching business…incredible relationships…humility.

It’d be easy to hang it up - I almost did many times - but that lingering *what if* burned in my heart daily. I needed to rewrite my relationship with the marathon.

You see a lot of people training for races on social media, but you rarely see people being honest about how hard it is, and what a toll it takes on the body. I needed to go through this training cycle to remind myself that this s**t ain’t easy. And I’m a very different person than I was years ago.

It’s not that I don’t want to keep getting faster - some of the fastest people I coach are masters - but my journey has taught me to not take the marathon distance (and running, for that matter) for granted. I still dream about a marathon PR - maybe even sub3 - but it’s not my identity anymore.

I watched the finish line at CIM last year (another DNS) with tears in my eyes, thankful for my friends being there to give me a consolation hug. On my flight home, I signed up for this year’s race - scared that it’d be another DNS - but determined (disillusioned?) that I’d actually make it this time.

Less than 3 weeks to being full circle and I’ve never fought for anything harder in my life. As it turns out, that was what this cycle was all about: reminding myself that I still have the fight. Proving that as long as I can put one foot in front of the other, this body can run.

Holding my breath for another 19 days; but today, allowing an ounce of hope that we’ve almost made it.

I started recording for one of those fancy “Get Ready With Me” reels the kids do…but then ran out of time/patience.

I almost pulled out my phone on the run for a pic…but didn’t, because honestly - I was tired and busy stuffing my face with gels.

So a watch face photo will have to do.

I haven’t shared a majority of this marathon training because I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it very well may still drop. I am holding my breath until I’m on that starting line.

But I tell my athletes to celebrate every single win, so here to practice what I preach.

Ran my first 20 mile run in 7 years today. And really fu***ng proud/excited about that. This s**t is long and humbling.

Running is not a given. Our longevity in this sport is never promised. So celebrate every.single.win. And never ever give up on yourself.

Onward we go. 🤞🏼

No matter where you stand on BufferGate 2023: I think we can all agree - the BQ is a prestigious goal for amateur runners and helps foster the spirit of the sport. But what’s the point of a standard if those who achieve it don’t get the reward?

I don’t have answers or solutions. But I do have an opinion.

Unfortunately, the problem is so much bigger than *just* a buffer time. The problem lies in the fact that all marathons (not just Boston) are highly exclusive. Our sport is exclusive. FITNESS is exclusive.

Consider what’s needed to step out the door to run: shoes/shorts, of course - that's easy. But then TIME. A job that allows flexibility. Safe places to run. Childcare, if applicable. Food. Maybe access to therapy for bodies and minds to stay healthy (and insurance to cover that…) It’s a huge privilege to run in the first place - and whether you like to admit it or not - if you’re reading this post, we have a TON of privilege to participate in this sport.

Boston furthers this exclusivity by only allowing people who are *fast enough* to run it. Exclusivity is defined as, “the practice of excluding or not admitting other things” - which is literally what Boston’s prestige is set upon. YES, you can raise an exorbitant amount of money for a charity (which is incredible, and included in Boston's legacy). But having the resources to raise money (time, connections, etc.) - is a huge barrier.

With big-city marathons also comes the expense of travel and hospitality, which makes the consideration of running an out-of-town marathon impossible for many.

In my opinion: one TEENY tiny effort from Boston would speak volumes. Add a lottery system, like every other major. Lead the way with a scholarship program. Maybe weight first timers’ applicants heavier than others? Hell - make the standard faster again and actually let everyone in?!

So, yes. The reality is there are other deeply-rooted problems, not just in our sport, but in our entire society. To me, yesterday was a reminder of a fractured system - which isn’t Boston’s fault, nor is it their job to correct it. But at the very least, why can’t the BAA adhere to an arbitrary standard they set?

As I said to an athlete yesterday, "I'm growing as a coach right along with you" - so while my core values and philosophy from a programming perspective haven't changed over the years; there ARE some things that have changed!

1️⃣ Coaching is the intersection of physiology vs. psychology. At one point, I was very firm about having athletes not run >3:00 long runs, but that has since changed, especially knowing that running 20 miles in a marathon cycle can help some build confidence. There's a low-lying *rule* that LR mileage shouldn't exceed 20-30% of total weekly volume; but I also now believe that is highly nuanced, based on the person and situation.

2️⃣ Hands up if you remember when fasted running was all the rage. 🙋🏼‍♀️ This has since been debunked, particularly for female athletes, so I literally NEVER recommend "fasted runs" for athletes anymore.

3️⃣ Yep, the meathead herself said it. Strength training isn't appropriate all the time; it's highly contingent on whether you actually have available stress reserves for your body to take it on. And, also, sometimes an athlete could be better-suited sticking to PT work before shifting to strength and hypertrophy. Lastly - intensity matters too: lifting in-season might look very different than lifting pre/post-season, especially if you're hitting run training hard.

4️⃣ Tracks are nice (and bouncy!) but they have a place. When it comes to building threshold capacity and endurance fatigue - I often have athletes head to the road (bonus points for rolling hills!!)

5️⃣ Maybe a hot take, but if you're consistently resting and taking time off when your body needs it while you're training, the propensity for needing a huge stretch of rest post-marathon decreases. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE TIME OFF. But I'd argue that the time needed to recover post-marathon is dependent on the person, how long they've been consistently training, how intense the marathon cycle was, and how the race panned out.

📸:

Are you a runner knowing you need to strength train but unsure where to start? Let me help you!! Links to get started are in my profile.

These are currently the programs I offer, but stay tuned for later this year/early 2024, as I plan to do a full overhaul. 😉

Lift.Run.Perform was founded in 2017 under the pretense that runners could be fast AND strong at the same time, while keeping fast running goals alive. I realized there was a void in the running space where so many athletes knew they wanted to get into lifting; but unsure how.

Over the years, LRP has grown into a community of coaches and athletes aiming to improve themselves through the sport of running while also juggling the demands of life.

If you have specific coaching questions or inquiries, please send or myself a DM!

Hi! 👋🏼 I’m Mary and have been a full-time coach for 9 years. I help people of all abilities get incrementally faster, believe in themselves, and learn how to intertwine running through all seasons of life.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out via DMs, or email me!

If you’re new or looking for something specific, introduce yourself and let me know!! ⤵️

11 years!! 💕

Currently in the team phase of marriage. 🤜🏻🤛🏻

Where the only way we’re getting through the day is by reminding each other we’re doing this as a team.

And that we’re good parents.

And that raising kids is exhausting and hard AF.

But also our cherubs are pretty dang great kids.

He gets mad at me when I throw my wet towels over wood doors to dry. 😬

And I hate when he chomps his food really loudly.

But I couldn’t imagine doing life and raising these babies with anyone else. ❤️

366 days post op and so grateful to line up for a 5k!! 🙏🏻

Ran right around the same time (today was 19:46) back in March, before my achilles freaked out, so here to confirm that progress isn’t linear and the only way to move forward is to believe in the process.

Yesterday, a friend asked me if I’d do surgery all over again. And for me, YES - returning to running has been really challenging but I needed the intervention in order to live, let alone run. The runs I get to do now are just a bonus.

No expectations with the next few months. We can only go up from here!!!🤞🏼🚀

The proud face of someone who just lost a toenail for the first time in years!!!!! 🥹

I have been dreaming about stringing together training with minimal hip issues for 3. fu***ng. years.

One year ago to date, I made the decision to get surgery.

And this is week 8 of consistent running.

My legs (and hip!) are tired, but my heart is so happy.

I won't say "I'm back," because I'm a totally different person now. But I'm finally starting to believe in myself again. And isn’t that half the battle?? ❤️

I fell in love with running as a senior in HS, running two seasons of track to get out of gym class. As a newbie, I was placed with the sprinters…but begged the distance coach to let me try the 1500 at the first indoor meet at Manley Field House.

I toed the line in my pink Nike Airs (not made for running) and baggy shorts and ran 5:59 in my first 1500. After the race, Coach Reed nodded his head, “ok, Crowley. You can run with the distance girls now. I was elated.

I whittled my 1500 to 5:38 and even made an appearance at the steeplechase at sectionals. The newbie distance girl (me) eventually proudly raced in her bun huggers and Nike spikes (still pink).

So when a friend challenged me to run 10 miles later that summer, my 18-year-old self confidently said, “sure, no problem” - and I went out on the rolling CNY hills and did it.

But the marathon has always seemed elusive, which is why I love it. You can't just bu****it your way through 26 miles, no matter how talented you are. The training...the race itself...it's such an intricate journey, filled with ups and downs. You really have to work for it.

Returning from surgery has been humbling. For the first time in my life, I can no longer "just go and run 10 miles" - but I'm getting there, slowly. And I'm dreaming about running a marathon, for the first time in 7 years. And it feels scary to put this out into the world, but I think I'm going to make it this time.

This afternoon, I said to my coach: “the truth is that I’m actually being given the gift of running my first marathon…for a second time. How lucky am I that I get to try this again, with no expectations and with nothing to measure success except for finishing?”

And that’s just it: my “why” right now is because I can. Running is a gift and no starting line is guaranteed. One year ago, running was off the table, and for the past 7 years, the marathon was a pipe dream.

At the end of the day, it's so easy to lose perspective as to why we're involved in this sport in the first place. But allow yourself to be a newbie again. Get rid of the pressure and go back and find the joy in it all. As a fellow newbie, I can tell you it's pretty damn gratifying.

My sweet little boy. My miracle rainbow baby. How are you about to turn four (4!!)?!

*TW - fertility struggles*

I was that mom who was so certain she wanted kids…but then so terrified when it really came down to it.

I try not to think much about the dark years between 2017-2018 when we tried endlessly to start a family, but nothing was working. This was also the time I was struggling with the beginnings of what-would-be my hip injury…so I didn’t even have running as an escape.

Insurance finally approved fertility treatments after two years of trying. But at that point, I honestly was so exhausted from the process, I wasn’t even sure if I still wanted to have kids. I also felt foolish and selfish admitting this, but I also still really wanted to chase athletic goals, and thought that starting a family would change everything and just get in the way.

(Spoiler: yes, everything did change…but for the better).

I went through the motions anyway - I made my first fertility appointment on a Wednesday in October 2018. And then two days later, on a Friday morning, I found out I was pregnant with the most solid positive line I had ever seen. I had somehow gotten pregnant naturally, and it was sticking this time. 🙏🏻

When I finally met my Eli, it was like everything was right in the world. I had never been so in love with one tiny human in my life. He was/is perfect and has changed everything in my/our life for the better.

His teachers describe him as a gentle soul and we’ve seen him grow into a smart, clever tornado of energy who loves to laugh, snuggle, draw, and has a memory better than anyone I know. The past four years have been a complete blur in the best way possible.

So happy birthday to you, Eli!!! I’m so lucky to be your mommy. 💕

3 weeks post-covid and still being extra cautious, since the covid inflammation always seems to get me good on the backend. But! I’ve been stringing easy runs together and embracing starting from scratch, truly having no expectations about what the fall will bring.

I don’t feel like I’ve made it “out” post-sickness quite yet. My sleep last week was pretty restless and a couple body parts feel a little tight/inflamed.

One of the last pieces of the puzzle will be getting updated bloodwork done. In the past, COVID has really messed with my liver function (ALT & AST) and I never would’ve known had I not gotten consistent testing with . They typically suggest waiting at least 2 weeks post-infection to get tested…but I’m planning on waiting at least another week or so.

The last time I tested, in March, I was 6 weeks post-COVID (my mildest case thus far) but my liver biomarkers were off and I also had slightly elevated Creatine Kinase, which usually I wouldn’t think twice about, but leading into the blood test, I had rested for a solid week, so the elevation seemed odd. 😵‍💫

On a totally different topic: my last test showed that my vitamin D had dropped, which was interesting because I had started using the VitD dropper that came with Athletic Greens vs. a generic pill…so the test results confirmed that I needed to go back to pill supplementation!

So - trying to be proactive from the inside out and grateful for the partnership with InsideTracker that allows me to stay on top of nutrient levels. Last year’s funky blood levels led to my doctor ordering additional tests for autoimmune biomarkers - all negative - which is great! But I am grateful and privileged I could go to my doctor with supplemental information to advocate for myself.

If you’ve been wanting to order blood testing for yourself through a private service - InsideTracker is wonderful - and my code ITSAMARYTHON will always save you 20% off any test!

📸: , 2020

Brooklyn Half week! This was a magical day for me last year: first half in 6 years...8 months postpartum: I ran my heart out and had SO much fun, negative splitting to a 1:28, confirming to myself that IT'S STILL IN THERE. Just need to be healthy.

I'm not running this year - still crawling back from this finicky calf thing. But I am very grateful to be slowly building running back again. 🙏🏻

Before going into FAI surgery, I was told again and again that the first 12-18 months post-op would be really challenging and slow. And, can confirm - it's true. 🙂 Lifts in the gym are strong but I had some new assessments done this week and surgical side weakness is still extremely apparent, even at 9 months post-op.

The silver lining: there are things to work on, after feeling like progress had been stagnant for a few months! Realizing this has made me feel validated (and excited, tbh) over the past few weeks. So - still working on the small stuff to yield long term big gains.

Someone wrote this to me a few weeks ago, and I saved it to read when I'm feeling a little down - so I wanted to share, in case it helps anyone else who's riding the ups and downs of this sport:

“As runners and athletes, we apply so much value to our fitness and ability to perform. And when it's temporarily stripped, it feels like the world is caving in. But remember: this is only a chapter in your life. Right now, it might feel like this is your story and where it ends, but it's a chapter. And one day, you'll wake up feeling better, and it'll become just a page...and then just a paragraph...and then just a sentence and blip. You will get through and you'll be better and stronger because of it.”

Eyes forward and head down and just stay positive. Where you're (we're) at today is nowhere close to where we'll be in 3 months. ❤️

Boston!

I've run Boston 3 times and have only nailed the pacing once. 🙂

BUT Boston is where my PR lives, and if there's one thing I've learned about marathons, (and Boston in particular) it's that you really can't start slow enough. The main goal is to get to the half feeling fresh. Then hang on for the hills...and barrel down Heartbreak into the city of Boston.

Weather is, of course, a MAJOR consideration. And you never know what you're gonna get until you get to Hopkinton.

So may the weather (and pacing) gods be ever in your favor. GOOD LUCK AND HAVE FUN!!! 💙💛

I’ve had my first post-surgical setback. What I thought was achilles tendonitis is actually more likely to be a calf strain. Turns out when you have a brand new hip joint, the rest of your body takes time to learn new gait patterns. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Again - minor…but I’ll admit: it’s been hard to wrap my head around.

Why me? Why can’t I string consistent running together? What am I doing wrong? Why am I such an imposter?

I absolutely love the routine of training and running, so I’ve found it hard to find a rhythm that doesn’t (temporarily) include running. And this is intensified by the PTSD I have from my hip injury/surgery. I’ll be super transparent in saying that this summer/fall was really traumatic, and I never want to go through the decision making process of getting surgery ever again.

But today, my brain introduced a new narrative about this dumb calf thing:

Setbacks are what makes me me. Lean into this.

My entire running journey has involved setback after setback. I have spent years not running and racing; rather, I’ve peeled away the layers of training that are impactful. My unicorn day is going to come, but setbacks are my identification of performance. And, as my therapist pointed out, the years I’ve spent fighting has created a hell of a lot of empathy and understanding for the people I coach…which is maybe even more important than my own performance.

While not the prettiest narrative, it’s one I’m weirdly at peace with.

It turns out this athletic journey is not just about times and races. It’s about introspection, gratitude, and learning into the difficult narratives we’re writing for ourselves. I think they make the special moments that much sweeter. And the moment we stop fighting is the moment the pieces come back together.

So here’s to surrendering to the incontrollables and just riding the wave. There’s nothing wrong with setbacks; it’s all just part of the process. ✌🏼

📸:

Went on a girls trip. A *running* girls trip. Wine. Grand Canyon, Flagstaff, Sedona. 9 girls. Lots of carefree trail running. I knew half of the group, but only peripherally.

My husband encouraged me to go — spend some time away and enjoy the sport you love most in one of the most beautiful places in the world with some great girls. I whispered, “yolo” as I clicked that intimidating PURCHASE button on JetBlue.

Plot twist: my achilles started acting up the morning I woke up to leave and a long flight across the country didn’t help. Sigh.

I ran approximately 1.4 miles on this trip and these staged photos were part of that. 🙃

Big bummer BUT huge silver lining: these women are phenomenal and I loved every second I could spend with them. And as upset as I was to not be able to run on this trip, I was damn happy to be involved. Being part of this crew and getting to know these smart, kind, caring people was the true highlight. I know the term “forever friends” is kinda cheesy, but I really feel that way about these women.

My heart is happy and my achilles is just about fine. The miles will always be there for us, but new friendships, building community, and real connections are fleeting.

Book the trip. Be with your friends. Spend more time with family. Take care of you and what makes you happy.

I needed that reminder. ❤️

📸: on a girls trip. A *running* girls trip. Wine. Grand Canyon, Flagstaff, Sedona. 9 girls. Lots of carefree trail running. I knew half of the group, but only peripherally.

My husband encouraged me to go— spend some time away and enjoy the sport you love most in one of the most beautiful places in the world with some great girls. I whispered, “yolo” to myself as I clicked that intimidating PURCHASE button

Plot twist: my achilles started acting up the day I woke up to leave. Sigh.

I ran approximately 1.5 miles on this trip and these photos were part of that. 🙃

Big bummer BUT huge silver lining: these women are phenomenal and I loved every second I could spend with them. And as upset as I was to not be able to run on this trip, I was damn happy to be involved. Being part of this crew and getting to know these wonderful people was the true highlight of this trip.

My heart is happy and my Achilles is just about fine. The miles will always be there for us, but new friendships, building community, and real connections are fleeting.

Book the trip. Be with your friends. Spend more time with family. Take care of you and what makes you happy.

I needed that reminder. ❤️

📸:

Last week was International Women’s day. Of course you knew that. I didn't think I had anything meaningful to say...but I've changed my mind.

Working in the coaching industry as a female is really hard. While some barriers have advanced - there is still so much more work to be done.

When I started interning at my strength facility, I was the only female presence. I was terrified, and it took me YEARS to break out of my timid shell. I knew in my gut I could be a good coach; but I felt like a fish out of water, especially compared to my male counterparts.

Eventually, I did come out of my shell, and realized my potential. Stepping out of my comfort zone with anything in life has always been difficult, but always worth it.

And while my confidence has grown as a coach, I continue to see the imbalance of power and gender stigma WAY too often.

The amount of times I’ve been talked down to by a male coach has been countless.
I’ve been involved in cohorts where not a single female will speak up except for me…and then I’ve left those cohorts, feeling belittled because of my voice.
Just last week, I posted in an online S&C group I’m part of - with no responses.
The unsolicited comments about my body.

Trust me, I’ve asked myself: is it me? Am I sensitive? Am I being a pain in the ass? But I don’t think I am. Men are just not prepared to hear a female speak her mind and have intelligent discourse.

Over the weekend, some male made an ignorant comment on a recent reel I made. Don’t try to find it - he deleted his comment after I called him out publicly via stories...which subsequently lead to me receiving a handful of DMs, thanking me for being a strong voice among the fray. While I haven’t always been strong: being empowered by this social media space over the years - even though it infuriates me sometimes! - is something that's really shaped me in a positive way.

So thank you. For the encouragement and for helping to break these barriers with me. We are smart. We are skilled. And we are most certainly not weak. I’m proud to be a female coach in this era and will continue to fight for our voice.

Happy International Women’s Day - not just last week. Every damn day.