Russ Resnik LPCC

My online course starts in one week: "Torah Lishma: Contemplative Reading and Application of Scripture." https://www.mjti.org/contemplative-application-scripture/
"Torah lishma" in Hebrew refers to study in response to the surpassing value and holiness of Scripture itself. This is study that entails an encounter with God through his Spirit in the words of Scripture. This class will help you understand and sample this deeper reading of the Bible and bring it home into your daily life, where it might shake things up a bit.
The course is part of the Panim el Panim series hosted by Messianic Jewish Theological Institute: four one-hour interactive sessions, 10:00am Pacific/1:00pm Eastern, for four weeks starting Monday, May 4.
In response to the COVID shutdown, MJTI is offering a 50% discount for this class. Registration is just $20.00 with the code May Discount.
https://www.mjti.org/contemplative-application-scripture/

May: Torah Lishma—Contemplative Reading and Application of Scripture May: Torah Lishma—Contemplative Reading and Application of Scripture May 4 - 25, 2020—Mondays @ 1 p.m. ET Every morning, our traditional Jewish prayers include this request: “May we all know your name and study your Torah for its own sake—Torah lishma.” Pursuing Torah lishma means that we ...

I'm teaching an online course next month, Torah Lishma: Contemplative Reading and Application of Scripture. https://www.mjti.org/contemplative-application-scripture/

Every morning, our traditional prayers include this request: “May we all know your name and study your Torah for its own sake—Torah lishma.” Pursuing Torah lishma means studying in response to the surpassing value and holiness of Scripture itself. In a Messianic Jewish context, we believe this study entails an encounter with God through his Ruach in the words of Scripture, an encounter that bears fruit in all aspects of our lives. Contemplative reading is a key to studying Torah lishma, and this class will help you sample it and bring it home into your daily life.

The course is part of the Panim el Panim series hosted by Messianic Jewish Theological Institute: four one-hour interactive sessions, 10:00am Pacific/1:00pm Eastern, for four weeks starting Monday, May 4.
In response to the COVID shutdown, MJTI is offering a 50% discount for this class. Registration is just $20.00 with the code May Discount.
https://www.mjti.org/contemplative-application-scripture/

May: Torah Lishma—Contemplative Reading and Application of Scripture May: Torah Lishma—Contemplative Reading and Application of Scripture May 4 - 25, 2020—Mondays @ 1 p.m. ET Every morning, our traditional Jewish prayers include this request: “May we all know your name and study your Torah for its own sake—Torah lishma.” Pursuing Torah lishma means that we ...

I know, I haven't posted anything in a really long time. . . . So here's a post for the Jewish holidays happening right now that's also relevant to addiction and recovery. Enjoy!

Helpless but Ready — Union of Messianic Jewish Congregations Not long before my old friend Rube (Rabbi Richard Rubinstein) passed away, I had the privilege of visiting him at his home in Sacramento. He was already in bad shape from the cancer that eventually killed him, but his spirits were fine, so when he recommended a book, I paid attention. The title grab

Here's my take on the story of Samson, which is included in this week's synagogue readings. This guy needs a therapist!

A Non-Legendary Hero It’s more popular than ever these days to take a shot at debunking the Bible. Among the sophomoric tactics is to dismiss the Bible as a collection of fairy tales and legends, which usually indicate…

I'm way behind in posting to this page, so here's a blog from today.

A Blog for Father’s Day Sunday, June 16, three weeks off, will be my twentieth Father’s Day without a father. My dad, Arnold Earl Resnik, was born in New York City on August 13, 1915, and died in a Southern California nur…

Here's my blog on an up-to-date version of an ancient biblical practice.

Self-Distancing and Soul-Talk The cover article of the current issue of Psychology Today talks about how to “Silence Your Inner Critic.” It opens with the story of Elena, a recent law-school graduate at the top of h…

I'll be the guest speaker at Adat Yeshua Messianic Synagogue 10:30am this Shabbat, 3/30. Talking about Abraham, Father of the Faithful.

I'm getting ready to teach my online class, Torah from the Mount, on Tuesday. Find out why I call it that, instead of Sermon on the Mount, and why it starts with the Ashrei of Messiah instead of the Beatitudes--and why that's relevant to you!

Hope you can make it, four weekly sessions, starting Tuesday, March 5, at 10:00am Mountain/12:00 noon Eastern.

Panim El Panim - MJTI's New Live Online Courses Check out MJTI's New Live Online Short Courses. No reading, homework or assessments!

Here's a response to my blog on Conflict Resolution from last week. It's better not to get into conflict at all . . . but sometimes we really need to.

When to take offense My last blog, on conflict resolution, was based on a presentation I gave recently at a UMJC leaders’ conference. At the end of the presentation, one of my colleagues came up to me and said he appre…

I'm teaching an online class next month for MJTI (Messianic Jewish Theological Institute), entitled "Torah on the Mount." It explores Yeshua's teachings in Matthew 5, especially the so-called Beatitudes. Find out what I think they should be called, and why, how they apply today, and lots more. Details and registration available here: https://www.mjti.org/panim-el-panim/. (You might need to scroll down a bit to register.)

Based on my book "Divine Reversal: The Transforming Ethics of Jesus," it's four Tuesday sessions, 10:00am Mountain time, March 5-26. No homework; no tests; lots of intense learning; $40 tuition. I hope to see you there!

I haven't posted in a really long time, but I'm back. I hope I can stay back for awhile! Here's a blog on conflict resolution to get started. https://rebrez.wordpress.com/2019/02/11/how-to-help-resolve-conflict/

In my therapeutic work I often work in reference to virtue--not just seeking to alleviate problems or help folks feel better. But what is virtue? Here's a brief exploration from the story of Abraham.

Virtue on Display And he stood by them under the tree and they ate. Genesis 18:8 When Hashem came to visit Abraham in Genesis 18, our patriarch saw three men and brought them food. They ate, but they turn out to be …

Here's a commentary on this week's reading from the Prophets--which might have some therapeutic implications as well.

What Are Leaders For? We’ve just come through a grueling, costly, and often bitter electoral process. We’ve chosen our leaders, or men and women that we hope will be leaders, and this week’s haftarah (Malachi 1:1 & #8211…

Here's my final post answering the question, What do men need? Based on Genesis 1-3.

What do men need? part 3 We’re considering three primal needs instilled in men from the beginning, as portrayed in the opening chapters of Genesis. The first two needs are contribution and connection. Now we’ll consider th…

Continuing the discussion of what men need as revealed in Genesis with a discussion of something men don't need:

What do men need? Excursus In my last blog I looked at man’s need for connection. In Genesis 2 the Lord declares that it’s not good for the man to be alone and brings him a woman, so that the two become one flesh. This act o…

Next installment on my blog . . .

What do men need? part 2 We’re looking at three primal needs as revealed in the account of Creation in Genesis 1 – 3. They’re primal human needs, but they have different applications and implications for men and wome…

Here's an intriguing question from my blog . . .

What do men need? part 1 I’m starting to work on what might become my next book–a spiritual guidebook for men based on the journey-stories of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. But writing for or about men in 2018 is a…

Here's my commentary on the first haftarah (reading from the Hebrew Prophets) in the cycle of synagogue readings that begins this week. I think it has some implications for counseling and therapy--but let me know. Your comments are welcome.

What Difference Does God Make? When I first became a follower of Jesus I wanted to share the story of my amazing transformation with everyone. But, of course, Jesus was a big barrier for most people, especially Jewish people—even after we started saying Yeshua instead of Jesus. In recent years, though, it seems like the barrier...

OK, I'm going to take another shot actually posting material on this site with reasonable regularity. Here's a first installment:

I was praying for some of my counseling clients on my morning bike ride, and I thought of a new client, Tony (name and some details changed to protect privacy). Tony appears to be dismantling his marriage through occasional, but inevitably recurring, outbursts of extreme anger. He’s what we sometimes call a rageaholic . . . but I’m not going to tell him that, at least yet.

As a therapist I’m trained to look for the right diagnosis for people I work with, and there’s a certain “Aha!” satisfaction in finding what appears to be it. In addition, the protocol for record-keeping and insurance claims requires a diagnosis, and a good, clear diagnosis can often lead to finding and sticking to an effective plan for treatment. But of course there’s a downside to diagnosis. It’s a sort of label and labels are liable to be abused. I can slap one on my client, focus just on that label and how to treat it, and forget about the complexities and nuance of my client’s story and personality. I need to remember that diagnosis, or labeling, might be essential for treatment but it doesn’t constitute treatment. Just because I’ve named the problem—even if the name sounds cool and trendy or profound—it doesn’t mean I’ve done a thing to help. But it’s tempting to think I’ve gained some power over the problem by labeling it.

It’s even worse if my client picks up that I’m slapping a label on him. No one wants to be labeled. That’s why I’m not going to tell Tony he’s a rageaholic, but let’s consider why he’d be bound to push back if I did.

Naming something implies power over it. If I label Tony I’m the expert, the one in control, and he’s the flawed, sick, weakened one.

In the beginning God gives Adam dominion over the animals (Gen 1:26), and then brings all the animals to him to see what he will call them “and whatever Adam called every living creature, that was its name” (Gen 2:19). Naming implies dominion—and who wants an expert figuring out what’s wrong with you and coming up with some fancy label to stick on your forehead?

But this understandable resistance to labeling also hints at its benefit. Naming something implies power over it. So if Tony labels himself a rageaholic, that might be a big step in dealing with the problem. Being a rageaholic doesn’t excuse my temper tantrums any more than being an alcoholic excuses my drunkenness. But it can help me understand and admit my problem and take responsibility. The next time Tony starts ramping up to an explosion he might be able to say—“Wait, I’m starting to escalate because I’m a rageaholic, not because my wife is such a monster or my boss is such a tyrant or that driver is such an idiot. Something inside me feeds on the adrenaline and feeling of power that comes with rage—but I don’t have to feed it.”

It’s not as simple as that, of course. It takes hard work, accountability, and support. But naming the beast gets us on the way to overcoming it. So it’s a paradox—the diagnostic label can be misused and is bound to be resisted by the counselee. A therapist needs to be careful about imposing a label. But a therapist can help the client discover it, explore its possibilities, and apply it himself.

I haven't posted for a long time, and I won't post anything for political reasons, but this article for Father's Day reflects solid social and psychological thinking.

Ben Shapiro: We need fathers to teach manliness | Opinion Deprived of purpose, too many men turn to empty substitutes for true manliness: a macho culture that prizes sexual conquest or physical strength.

A Story to Live By You are invited to join me at the first annual Messianic Men’s Conference, April 20-22, in Pensacola, FL, where I’ll be teaching based on my book, A Life of Favor: A Family Therapist Examines the S…

I just posted a blog that comments on this week's Torah portion, with lots of implications for emotional health and spiritual development--check it out!

It Begins with Thanks Parashat Mishpatim, Exodus 21:1–24:18 I thank You, living and eternal King, for giving me back my soul in mercy. Great is Your faithfulness. Modeh Ani prayer from the Koren Siddur Have you e…

My forgiveness thread continues . . .

MLK on Forgiveness My class on forgiveness at Steelbridge, the recovery program for homeless men and women, got postponed again yesterday because of a local flu epidemic. The bright side was that this gave me more ti…

Here's my latest post on forgiveness. Enjoy!

More Reasons to Forgive You want me to forgive him?!” When I was a kid he did horrible things to me; he used me sexually every day for years—and you’re telling me I need to forgive him!” She’s manipulative and disgu…

I’ve been writing a lot about forgiveness lately and I’ll be teaching a class on forgiveness starting Monday, 1/8, at Steelbridge resource center here in Albuquerque. Steelbridge, headed up by my good friend Pastor John Hill, reaches out to homeless men and women, not just to provide food and housing, but also to help them get restored and redirected. I’ll be teaching a class of women who are in the intensive discipling program there. Here's the first installment, which also tells you what the photo is about.

Forgiving From the Heart, part 1 I’ve been writing a lot about forgiveness lately (which means thinking and praying about it too), and I’ll be teaching a class on forgiveness starting Monday, 1/8, at Steelbridge resour…

Who Deserves Forgiveness?

Last week I posted a commentary on the final Torah portion in Genesis, entitled How Trust Can Be Restored . It opened with a question, or two actually: “The news stream today is filled with stories of abuse and betrayal, and we might wonder whether deeds like this can ever be forgiven. And even if they are, can the perpetrators ever be trusted again?”

Because I didn’t answer these questions directly, I realize that this might have created the impression that victims of the sort of sexual harassment and abuse that have been demanding our attention lately just need to forgive and move on. And worse, that the onus of forgiving and restoring trust is on the victim. That’s not at all what I intended, so allow me to provide a few points of clarification:

1. Forgiveness can never be demanded or coerced—especially not by the perpetrator or anyone advocating for him/her. This ban includes those who are advising or counseling the victim—they are not to pressure the victim to forgive in any way. It must be a free choice.
2. If one chooses to forgive, he or she is personally dropping the charges against the perpetrator, not declaring him innocent or excusing or minimizing the behavior.
3. Dropping the charges in this specific sense does not preclude taking appropriate action. If a relative abused you as a child, make sure that he or she doesn’t get the opportunity to abuse someone else. If you were sexually harassed at work, report that to the proper authorities. Forgiving does not leave you powerless.
4. You don’t forgive to benefit the perpetrator, but to benefit yourself and your own well-being. The perpetrator’s sins can bind the victim emotionally and spiritually; forgiveness breaks that tie. This is especially relevant when the perpetrator is unrepentant or unavailable . . . or dead.
5. Forgiveness takes power away from the perpetrator and gives it to the victim, who is now no longer the victim. Dr. Fred Luskin, Director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Projects says that by forgiving, we “become a hero instead of a victim in the story [we] tell.”
6. Forgiveness in itself does not restore trust or relationship. That’s the point of the original post I’m commenting on. We can choose to forgive freely and unconditionally, but trust must be earned and proven. I can forgive the offender, but he or she will have to earn the trust that’s been destroyed, if any kind of relationship is to be restored—and often that’s just not possible.
7. Forgiveness, especially the forgiveness of the gravest offenses, is a process, not a once-and-for-all event.

Even the worst deeds of abuse and betrayal can be forgiven by the victim, who might choose to do so, not to benefit the perpetrator, but for his or her own benefit. So, to answer the question of my title, “Who Deserves Forgiveness?” the former-victims do, because when they forgive they regain power and freedom from the offender.

How Trust Can Be Restored The news stream today is filled with stories of abuse and betrayal, and we might wonder whether deeds like this can ever be forgiven. And even if they are, can the perpetrators ever be trusted again? The tale of Joseph and his brothers answers such questions.

Here's another Torah commentary of mine with some rich therapeutic implications:

How Trust Can Be Restored The news stream today is filled with stories of abuse and betrayal, and we might wonder whether deeds like this can ever be forgiven. And even if they are, can the perpetrators ever be trusted again? The tale of Joseph and his brothers answers such questions.

This article by Rabbi Sacks definitely belongs on my therapy FB page:

The First Psychotherapist | Vayigash, Covenant & Conversation 5778 "...Is there a kind of Jewish thinker who contributes to the universe of knowledge, but does so in a recognisably Jewish way?..."