Nerdy jokes and geeky blokes
Never has improving your daily intelligence been so stimulating to the comical area of your cortex. In other words, get smart by laughing.
What fish is made of only two atoms of sodium?
2 Na
What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-oh acid.
How many guacas are in a guacamole?
6,022 X 10^23.
It's avocado's constant.
What do you call a singing computer?
A Dell.
I was going to tell a sodium joke, but Na...
Descartes walks into a bar.
The bartender asks him if he wants a drink.
"I think not," says Descartes.
Then he disappears.
What did one sister chromatid say to the other?
"Stop copying me!"
One atom says to another, "I think I lost an electron."
"You sure man?"
"Yeah, I'm positive."
Cynical posts:
When you wish upon a star...
You're a few million light years late bub.
That star is dead.
Just like your dreams :P
When you hear something at a high pitched frequency you know what happens?
It Hertz.
A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'll have some H2O please."
His friend says, "I'll have some H2O too."
The friend dies. Congratulations if you can figure out why.
Courtesy of Galadrielle Michaud
04/03/2016
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
Math tells us three of the saddest love stories:
1) Tangent lines who met once and then parted forever.
2) Parallel lines who were never meant to meet.
3) Asymptotes who get closer and closer but will never be together.
Once I heard of a mathematician who was so scared of negative numbers that he'd stop at nothing to avoid them.
Talk nerdy to me:
Are you salt? Because you're sodium fine.
If you ask chemists about a sick colleague, they'll say, "If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you may as well barium."
There's a band named 1023 MB.
They haven't had any gigs yet.
Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gasses here."
He doesn't react.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer.
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Go for puns/jokes relating to:
- science
- math
- literature
- sci-fi/fantasy movies