Hope After Heroin

Goodmorning 😘
I hope you guys are all staying safe and taking necessary precautions during this difficult time with coronavirus and so many other things that can make us sick.
*I feel like today is a great opportunity to talk about anxiety since this whole COVD-19 epidemic is causing most of us to panic and fear for our lives, whether necessarily or unnecessarily. If you struggle with anxiety on a normal day, I can only imagine how difficult it is right now to keep it under control. Here are a few tips on how to keep your anxiety from getting out of control:

1. UTILIZE CALMING TECHNIQUES!
Just as you would in any anxiety driven episode, make sure you have calming activities in place for when you may feel overwhelmed or scared. These can include a warm bath with lavender scented oil/bubble bath, physical exercise, an activity you enjoy such as coloring or writing, breathing exercises to bring your heartrate down, etc. Don't wait until you are completely overwhelmed, use these techniques when you feel the anxiety coming on to help counteract it from getting out of your control or escalating.

2. STAY OFF SOCIAL MEDIA!
The best way to avoid scaring yourself and feeding your anxiety is by avoiding things that trigger you to feel anxious. For example, on Facebook and other social media sites, everyone is panicking, making posts about their opinions on the soristion at hand, and stating facts that MAY or MAY NOT be true. Why torture yourself by reading all of these posts and giving your anxiety exactly what it wants....fuel! Stay off social media and if you cannot do that, avoid reading posts related to the virus or how society is dealing with it. Visit recovery pages, talk to your friends, scroll through pictures of your family and kids, remind yourself of all the things you have to be grateful for!

3. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!
Even in the darkest of times when my anxiety kicks in high gear, I try my hardest to remind myself of ALL the things I have to be thankful for: 2 healthy baby boys, my family and friends, a rood over my head, food to eat, my sobriety, etc. This may seem cliche, but I promise you if you are having anxiety and you stop and take a moment to think of some ways that you are more fortunate than so many others out there, it will help!

4. STAY BUSY!
Do some activites you have been putting off that need to get done: organize your clothes, your closets, the bathroom, clean your house, play a game with your kids, read a book, take a bath, sit outside and just meditate, exercise or go on a walk with your kids. We are so quick to jump on social media or youtube or TV and get sucked into the hustle and bustle of today's society, or even binge watching a favorite show which is okay sometimes but during times when your anxiety is at its worst, you need to do things that will take your mind off of it. Keeping busy and keeping moving....THIS will keep your anxiety at bay the best.

**Okay guys, I hope these help! These are only a few of the MANY ways to combat anxiety, but if you are struggling, addict or not, give them a try and actually give them a chance. Don't try it for 2 minutes and say, "OMG it's not helping!!" It may take time but it will work. Also, remind yourself that you are alive and that is a blessing in itself, all else aside! Love you guys and hope everyone has a great weekend!!
💙 **in 💙💙

Goodmorning everyone!! I hope you have all been doing great, sorry it has been so long since I have posted, I have been going through some things (sicknesses, etc) and haven't been up to posting although I will be back on my grind as of today!

So what better topic to discuss than the infamous CORONAVIRUS!! 😵😵 I am pretty sure it goes without saying that this little virus has made quite the impression on us and has scared most of us into closing down the world! I am all for being cautious, but not at the expense of our children, who I think are affected the most by this epidemic. Of course I want my babies and all of your babies healthy and virus free, but do I think closing schools and NA meetings and stores and everything else is going to eliminate the problem? No, I don't, but that's just my opinion!

I have been sick for almost a month now (crazy right?) and am honestly so tired of it. It all started with a badly infected tooth that I was given antibiotics for, and when they didn't work, they gave me a stronger antibiotic which killed the good AND bad bacteria in my colon causing me to acquire c.diff and ended up admitted in the hospital for a couple days on IV antibiotics and potassium. It was TERRIBLE! Uncontrollable diarrhea (I was literally going to the bathroom on myself and couldn't help it), terribly painful stomach cramping, fever, and body aches. It was like the flu but worse.

Well, I finished my antibiotics about 2 weeks ago and have been taking a probiotic that is supposed to help keep the c.diff away, BUT here I am today and I am certain that it is back. I'm having all the same symptoms, on TOP of my tooth still being infected because I had to discontinue the antibiotics and I'm also sick with a sinus infection/cold that is causing lots of mucous/congestion, coughing, chest pains, sore throat, etc. Basically, IM A MESS!

I will most likely be going back to the hospital, but for now I am trying to just deal with it and see if maybe these probiotics can combat the c.diff.

Please say a prayer for me because I could really REALLY use some thoughts and prayers right now. Being a single mom is hard enough on a good day, but it's REALLY hard when your sick. I keep telling myself I need to take care of me because if I don't and something happens to me, then Oakley will have to grow up without his mommy but its just hard to put myself first because I am so used to putting HIM first in all aspects of life.

, stay safe, wash your hands constantly, stay home unless you absolutely have to go somewhere, avoid large crowds, cover your mouth when you cough/sneeze, take precautions just as you would with any other virus! Please protect yourself and your loved ones, and if in doubt, call your primary care doctor and ask, that is what they are there for! Also, PLEASE only buy what you need so that we can ALL get the supplies we need! There are so many things out of stock in stores because people are going crazy and buying more than they need, which is only hurting the rest of us who cannot find what we actually need at the moment, and that is just not right. So please guys, think about others and only buy what you absolutely need, please! No child should go hungry or without diapers or formula because people are buying out the stores to stock up with more them they will need at the expense of another childs wellbeing. Love you guys and thanks for checking in, I will be doing a video this weekend so make sure you check it out! 💙💙💙💙

**in

Goodmorning everyone!!! Sorry it's been so long since I posted on here, just wanted to let everyone know I'm still alive and well and the coronavirus did NOT get me! (YET) Lol
*So, today I wanna jump back in to posting now that I'm over my sickness and back in my normal routine. Today's discussion is about weight loss! Addict or not, I'm sure most of us could afford to lose a few pounds or at least implement some healthier lifestyle choices into our routines, ones that will stick with us instead of fad diets you do for a month then go back to regular eating and gain ALL the weight back and some!
*For those of you who don't know me that well, I have always been tall and skinny. So skinny in fact that I struggled to find jean's that would stay up on my waist because I was so sickly thin. I used to wear a size double zero (yes they do exist) in jeans and extra small t-shirts, some of which still didn't fit 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Now I have always been thing which means I wasn't only skinny because I was on drugs....the drug lifestyle just made it worse. I have NEVER in my life until recently had to watch what I eat, and it sucks! I used to be able to down 4 donuts, a Starbucks loaded latte, candy, cakes, cookies, you name it, I ate it and as much of it as I wanted, whenever I wanted, without gaining so much as 1 pound!
*Now that I'm nearing my 30's (😭) and have a new baby boy who is almost 4 months old, I have quite a bit of weight I need to lose so I decided to start a low carb lifestyle change. Notice I didn't say diet. If you truly want to lose weight and keep the weight off now that your clean, sober, and ready to live your best life, I advise you to implement little changes into your routine instead of starving yourself or spending your entire paycheck on some protein powder and work out routine that will "give you 6 pack abs in 6 days!" Yeah, okay!
* , I want all of you to take a personal inventory of your routine and lifestyle and highlight anything you want to change. For me, I wanted to cut back on carbs to shrink my belly fat and overall weight, as well as increasing my fat and protein intake so that my body is forced to use fat for fuel instead of carbs, which will increase the fat burning cycle in your body and start the weight loss process. Once you determine what changes you want to make, write down what you need to do to implement these changes into your daily routine in a way that will last rather than something impossible.
*For example, I drink an energy drink EVERY morning, but the ones I know and love have about 70 carbs in them! Yes I know they are not good for you, but that's not the point here! What did I do? Instead of cutting them out completely and making myself miserable, I switched to the ones that only have about 4 carbs in them compared to 70! Do they taste the same? No. Do I like my regular ones better? Absolutely! BUT, I will tell you that I am acquiring a taste for the new ones and I now enjoy drinking them, plus I managed to cut 70 carbs out of my daily routine just by switching to a better alternative. It's little changes like this that will add up and make your journey to weightloss that much easier! I have only been "dieting" for 9 days now, and I already lost 10 pounds just by making some changes to what i eat, how much and how often I eat, and will soon start exercising as well to help with fat burning and muscle mass 💪💪
*If anyone is interested in hearing about how I am losing weight, what changes I made to my lifestyle, and my success thus far, I will be posting a video soon about it. Not sure when, but I'm hoping by Sunday it will be up. So stay tuned for that, feel free to reach out and ask me if you need help getting YOUR body back in working order and raising your self esteem through the process, and I hope you ALL have a fantastic day!!
*As always, please like comment and SHARE my posts, I greatly appreciate it! 💙💙
**in

Goodmorning everybody!! Jusy wanted to give you an update in my situation real quick. So, the antibiotics worked....for my tooth! But because they are so strong, I basically have a mini stomach flu and have every symptom there is: chills, sweats, nauseas, loose stools, dehydration, body aches, headaches, you name it, I got it! It really sucks because now my tooth is getting better and the swelling in my jaw has gone down substantially. But the antibiotics are so strong they are tearing up my stomach. Idk which was worse honestly, the tooth pain was more severe and unbearable, but this stomach stuff is so uncomfortable and is keeping me from being able to do really anything. It sucks 😞😞 Hoping that keeping fluids in me and resting will make me feel better soon, fingers crossed cuz I don't know how much more of this I can take 😭😭😭 Sorry again for not posting guys, I just cant bring myself to do much else other than what I have to do, like taking care of my baby and trying to take care of myself. And I hope you guys know I'm not trying to whine and complain, I know lots if people have it way worse then me, I just want you all to know that I am going through some really painful stuff and has kept me from posting lately. I would never just stop posting for any other reason, I promise! Again, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, I'm hoping that by tomorrow I will feel better or at least not as bad and if so, I will post a video in the AM.
*Hope everyone has a great day! Love you guys and remember, stay clean JUST4TODAY!! It does get better, pain does end, you just gotta hold on and get through the beginning and before you know it, you will be looking back on your past thinking to yourself how you can't believe how far you have come in your sobriety, just like I do everyday!
*I am so grateful to be alive today, and even though I am in pain, I would rather be here sober and in pain then living the life I was living just 11 months ago as an IV he**in and crack user. Nothing compares to the guilt, the pain, the self-hatred, the worthlessness, wishing you would die every day, going through withdrawls multiple times a week.....I would NEVER go back to that life, that chapter is OVER and I hope all of you guys are coming to the same realization that I did that in order to be truly happy, you have to get sober and live a life in recovery cuz that is the only way out!
**in

Goodmorning guys!!! Just wanted to apologize to everyone for not posting for such a long time, I have been dealing with a severely infected abcess tooth and have been in and out of the emergency room, and in a tremendous amount of pain constantly so I haven't been able to post anything. Today I feel a lot better, the antibiotics are finally kicking in and the swelling went down so hopefully by tomorrow I will be feeling good enough to do a video! Fingers crossed and please keep me in your thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery! Love you guys and again, I am so sorry and will be posting AS SOON as I feel good enough to record ☺️💙💯
**in

Ps: I have attached a couple uplifting quotes for you guys to check out pertaining to recovery and sobriety, hope you guys like them!

Goodmorning everyone! I just wanted to say hey and let you all know I didn't forget about doing my make up video....in fact, my Ipsy package came in the mail yesterday and I got some really awesome stuff that I cant wait to show you guys! I have been busy with the kids since this is my weekend with my oldest son as well as my newborn baby, BUT I'm hoping to have time to upload a video before the day is over.
*I also wanted to remind everyone in case you haven't been told lately.....YOU ARE WORTH IT! There are no "lost causes" when it comes to recovery and sobriety. Everyone is capable of and deserving of sobriety no matter what they think, no matter what they did in their past, no matter who they hurt along the way or what obstacles they have to overcome to achieve sobriety.....we are all deserving of a happy, sober life. So please, do not let anyone tell you differently.
*And for all of you who are struggling out there, whether you are new to recovery or just having a rough day or a rough week, I wanna remind you all to hold on because all pain does eventually end. Things WILL get better, whether a month a year or 5 years from now....it all depends on how hard you work to get the life you want. Staying positive is a HUGE way I have found helps me in my sobriety and keeps me going, no matter how many obstacles and challenges come into my life. Keeping a positive mindset and telling yourself every single day that you deserve this just as much as anyone else, and learning to forgive yourself for what you did as an addict, that is what will keep you going in your recovery. Being negative will only make things worse, so try your best to adopt a positive attitude and I promise you things will get better! Life is what YOU make it, after all!
*Okay, that's my little speech for the morning! Hope you guys got something from it, I love you ALL and I hope everyone has a great day! And again, I will hopefully be posting my make up video today at some point so stay tuned for that as well!! 💙💙💙💙
**in

Hey guys! Just wanted to pop in and say hey and let you guys know I will be posting a video tomorrow showcasing the new make-up and other products I got in the mail and showing you guys some of the looks I have been working on. Also, I will be discussing another topic that I will keep a secret for now, just make sure you check in tomorrow and check it out. Love you guys and hope you all have a great day!! **in 💙💙

I'm so sorry everyone, my package did not arrive but will be arriving tomorrow FOR SURE! So, video will be posted romorrow instead, sorry about the confusion, love you guys and make sure you check in tomorrow, PLEASE :) **in

Goodmorning guys!! Just wanted to let everyone know I WILL be posting a video today, but I am waiting for a package to arrive because my mom ordered me some super awesome new make up products that I am dying to try out and I want to use them to not only get ready for the video but also to show you guys what I got! It's not a tutorial or a review or anything of that nature, just a little peek into my recently acquired new found love for make up, specifically ALL OF IT 😉😁
*So, I will be back on here as soon as my package arrives, hopefully soon, to show you all what I got and to also discuss a really awesome topic that I'm gonna keep a suprise for now! Make sure you check back later, love you guys so much!! **in ❤

Sorry I haven't posted the last 2 days everyone! Been busy and just haven't had time with the baby and all, but tomorrow morning I will be posting a video similar to my last one about my hospital stay when I gave birth to my baby Oakley back in November. After watching back my video, I remembered some things I wanted to mention that I forgot about when I was recording. So, tomorrow's video will be filling in the missing pieces from my video on my pregnancy as a recovering addict, so make sure you check in tomorrow and watch it! Love you guys, hope everyone is having a safe and sober Friday! 💙💙💙

Goodmorning you guys!! Sorry it's been a couple days since I posted, but the good news is I am ready for tomorrow's first EVER HopeAfterHe**in video post 😁😁😁 Honestly, I am both excited and nervous, excited to be starting something new that will hopefully gain a lot more viewers on my page but also nervous because doing videos is new for me and anytime I do something new I get super bad anxiety. All in all, I know this will be a good thing, I just have to work hard at it and do the best I can do for my own recovery and for all of you guys 😊
*Today I would like to talk about what I am working on with myself, and that is trying new things and figuring out what aspects of recovery and sobriety work for YOU. I know a lot of people in recovery say meetings meetings meetings, and while I completely agree that NA meetings have helped many addicts get and stay clean, just like anything else they are not for everyone. Some people stay clean for years and never step foot in a single meeting, or have never once been to rehab or treatment of any kind. Some people quit cold turkey and never look back. Some people continue to surround themselves with negative influences, such as using friends, and manage to stay clean against all odds (although I absolutely DO NOT suggest that one!)
*My point is...everyone's recovery is different, and not everyone needs the same thing to get and stay clean, and that is okay. As long as you get sober and feel you are doing what you need to do to stay sober and change your life for the better, and not revert back to old behaviors, then that is truly all that matters. It doesn't matter how you get clean, or what route you choose, as long as you make it out of addiction alive and work on your recovery every day, because it is a lifelong process to stay clean and sober.
*Take me for example. I was in and out of rehabs for years never having that experience that I needed to really stay clean for life UNTIL my ex-boyfriend was arrested and put in jail for 6 months during which I had to fend for myself against all odds. This was my rock bottom. I no longer had him to hold onto, I was at my worst with my addiction doing 3x as much dope and crack as I was before, prostituting my body for drugs because f**k it, he wasn't there to stop me and I NEEDED to get high, right? I needed to feed my habit, until I finally said enough is enough, got into a rehab center, called my mom and sister to drive me there, and what do you know...found out I was pregnant before I even made it into the rehab center! So, I got clean that day and have been clean since, I have a healthy baby boy, and my life is better than it ever was before.
*Did NA meetings get me here? Did suboxone or methadone get me here? Did a sober living house get me here? Did changing my people places and things get me here? Did finding out I was pregnant get me here? Well, the answer is YES to all of those questions. No one thing was my saving grace, they ALL contributed to my recovery and my current success with staying sober. If any one of those things was removed from the equation, I might not be here writing this post for you guys today. Each aspect of how I chose to recover, the meetings the rehab the changing my living situarion....they all worked together to help me get clean but ultimately I had to work my ass off to get here. I had to fight those urges, I had to cut off toxic people who only want to see me fall back into that bu****it life I was living, I had to make the choice every single day to choose life over death! And I still do today and every day.
*Yes, some days are harder than others, but overall it does get easier with time, I promise! It took me a long time to realize drugs couldn't be a part of my story in ANY way shape or form, or I was going to kill myself. Addiction is a scary, scary road to go down but honestly, if I could take it all back, I dont even think I would because it has taught me so many things! Life is precious, value yourself and your relationships with friends and family, make the most of those moments you used to take for granted, take care of yourself and put your sobriety first always no matter what, be there for your kids always, love with all your might, and just be happy. Stop being negative and try to look at the positive in everything. I try my best to do this, and I'm telling you guys, it really does work!!
*Sorry this post was so long, but I just had to throw this out there because so many people think they have to follow a certain path to get clean but the truth is, you need to do what works for you, whatever that may be. Not what works for me, or for your friend, what works and will continue to work every day for YOU. Hope all of you guys enjoy the rest of your weekend, I love you ALL, and remember, anyone can get clean and find a new way of life! Stay clean and worry about tomorrow tomorrow 💙
**in

Hi everyone! Just wanted to check in and see how everyone is doing and a quick little reminder to stay clean and stay positive, today and every day. , I challenge you ALL to do something you have been telling yourself your going to do but keep procrastinating. Doesn't have to be anything BIG! For example, the laundry at my house is literally to the ceiling and I keep saying I'll do it tomorrow, then tomorrow comes and it gets bigger and bigger 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ So, this afternoon I started laundry and I am still going strong! Lol I have to say it feels good to finally get it going, even of it does take me all night to finish! Or maybe you have been wanting to go to bed earlier, or floss your teeth, or call your friend or loved one. I am here to tell you....JUST DO IT!
*Alrighty guys, I will be posting tomorrow morning so until then, stay warm and I love you all! ❤❤ **in

Goodmorning everyone!! So, I have been working on making daily videos instead of writing all these posts every day and originally, my plan was to have a video ready for this morning. Unfortunately, this whole video thing is a lot harder than I thought so I'm still working on the specifics and trying to make the best set up I can for what I wanna do with them. Hopefully, next Monday I will be posting my first one and you guys can tell me what you think, if you like it better than reading these posts, if it looks completely dumb (lol), just whatever feedback you may have ☺️☺️
*Today's topic is on hard work and dedication, because I feel it is necessary to mention that just because you managed to get clean and stop living an addict lifestyle DOES NOT mean you are living right. Plenty of addicts think sobriety is all they need and as long as they arent using drugs, they are living right. Stealing, being negative and disrespectful to others, being lazy and careless, being irresponsible and negligent in all aspects of your life....these are just a few of the many ways we can continue to live life in a way that we shouldn't be, regardless of our drug use.
*Quitting drugs is only the first step guys, remember that! You still have to change the people places and things you surround yourself with in order to maintain your sobriety and lead a better life where drug use is no longer necessary. You have to work on yourself, changing your character traits that prohibit you from leading the kind of life you can be proud of. You have to focus on fixing what needs to be fixed, working on things that you never wanted to deal with when you were using, such as your attitude, your demeanor, your outlook on life, the way you carry yourself, your work ethic, the way you speak to others and what you say and how that comes across to others. There are so many ways to work on your "self" and it takes a lot if work to truly get to a place where you can be proud of your journey and continue to do everything possible to live your best life.
*Personally, this time getting sober is the first time I made this realization: that it takes more than abstaining from drug use to be happy and live a good life. And I also learned that sometimes, it involves stepping outside your comfort zone, reaching down into a place that you never knew existed when you were high, and working on all the things that we used to numb with drugs in order to maintain our happiness and continue on a road to staying recovered long term. Last but not least, one of the biggest realizations I came to is this: it is NOT going to be easy, but it WILL be worth it! Sobriety on all levels, from working on yourself to staying clean day to day....its always a struggle, and unfortunately it always will be. But, with the help of your friends and loves ones and true dedication, you can stay clean for life and finally lead the kind of life you always dreamed of where you are happy, healthy, and most importantly, not reliant on drugs anymore and that makes the struggle so worth it!
*Hope you guys have a great day today, I will be posting the rest of this week while continuing to work on my video progress and as I said early, hopefully have my first recovery video on Monday of next week. Wish me luck you guys!! And remember, stay clean , worry about tomorrow tomorrow and don't let the past ruin your chance of a brighter, happier future. Love you guys!!
**in ❤❤❤

Goodmorning everyone and happy Wednesday! I just wanted to make a post today explaining why I haven't been posting on a daily basis this past week or so. I have some good news I want to share with you all, so here it goes!
*I'm sure those of you who read my posts regularly have noticed lately I haven't been keeping up with my daily routine. Well, I want everyone to know I have been working on brainstorming some ideas, watching youtube videos and following other people's pages on Facebook to get ideas for how I want to expand this website. I realize that some of you do read my posts, but as I'm sure you guys have noticed, the page hasn't received an immense amount of popularity even with my daily posts and advice. So, I wanted to figure out a way to increase views while attracting more viewers at the same time.
*The ideas I have been thinking about are instead of a post every morning, maybe do a video every day (morning noon or evening) about a specific topic OR just addiction and recovery in general. Most of the pages I have been referencing while coming up with ideas, their popularity and high number of views is a direct result of the videos they post because apparently watching a video is preferred over reading a long post (go figure!!) 😉😉
*Also, I want to expand my content outside of just recovery and addiction. Even though my main focus will always be helping addicts get help and reach their goals and full potential as sober individuals, I would also like to make some of my video posts about make up, hairstyles, putting cute outfits together, outside activities, my kids/family and the impact my addiction had on them, even interviewing other addicts to help show you guys that you are never alone and we all deal with the same struggles and overcome the same obstacles!
*Lately, I have become a little obsessed with make up and hair tutorial videos, and I think I could combine these fun videos with discussion of topics surrounding addiction and recovery to expand my content, make things a lot more fun, AND increase the amount of people who visit and like my page. So basically, you can learn about how to contour your face AND how to avoid triggers at the same time 😯😯 I know, great idea right?? My biggest goal right now, aside from self care of course, is to help as many addicts as possible get to recovery and stay there! So, if branching outside of the norm is what it takes to reach MY full potential and help more people, then that is exactly what I'm going to do.
*So without further ado, I want you guys to know I will be spending the rest of this week working on a video post for next week, so you may or may not see anymore posts from me this week. Sometimes we have to step outside of our comfort zones and do something totally new and risky to truley grow as individuals and as a community, so that is what I will be doing, or should I say attempting. Please keep in mind I have NEVER done a video of myself for any reason so the first few will likely be terrible LOL so just bare with me while I get my footing and determine the best way to do this, by the infamous trial and error technique 😉
*Okay, that is my big news for the day! Hope you guys have a great rest of the week and please PLEASE wish me luck with this challenge I will be facing and I hope to God I find the inner strength I need to make this a success not just for me but for all of you guys as well. I know watching videos on my recovery group page has truly helped me stay clean and feel a sense of belonging, which is exactly what I want everyone to feel when they watch my videos! Wish me luck everyone, and I will talk to you guys very soon! 💙💙
**in