Waking Up Donna - Rising Out Of Addiction

Now this is a better entertainment headline.
On this day I share recovery.
Proud of him for having the courage to share the journey publicly even after such horrendous public meltdown and outcry several years ago.
Addiction doesn’t stereotype.

Charlie Sheen calls receiving his chip for being sober 1 year 'a fabulous moment in my renewed journey' The former "Two and a Half Men" star proudly shared a photo of a sobriety chip.

Su***de isn’t an epidemic.
Addiction isn’t an epidemic.
Mental health issues in teens and adults isn’t epidemic.
M**h isn’t an epidemic.
Stress isn’t an epidemic.
Disease is an epidemic.

✴️THEY ARE ALL EPIDEMIC!✴️

Therefore none of them are.

They are all growing at intolerable speed, therefore none of them at any epidemic rate above each other.

🆘 The question therefore becomes:

🔀 Will you choose to play the victim or the solution?

You can’t choose both, or choose none - if you aren’t committed to playing a part of the collective (ie. YOU) solution, then I fear you will be swallowed up in victimhood.

Life is a paradox.

All of those words and labels above in essence, mean the same thing, they are all of the same ilk.

I choose life over fear.

Addiction wrecks so many lives, so many families, and so many communities - even of those society thinks of as most famous, those that seem to “have it all”.

We are ALL touched by addiction. A lot of addiction is co-occuring with some other issue.

Demi Lovato has always been quite open about her issues and until recently was sober for 6 years. I really admired her openness at her age and also with her influence and status in her world (which I for one know would be far FAR harder than being a common person like me).

This article even alleges she purchased the treatment centre she went into years ago for her own rehab. (If we all had lots of millions I’m sure we’d want to do the same).

I don’t believe everything I read (in this article, or other gossip sites) nor do I read any of these crappy websites, but when I heard this I couldn’t help but share.

I know there is no 100% cure and that I am not ‘immune’ to a relapse or set back. In fact, I’ve recently come out of a dark few weeks, and have committed so much time to meditation and learning and self-therapy it’d seem ridiculous to most “well” people. 🙄

But this is my work. 🙏

On the good days, but MOST importantly, on the bad days.

Demi Lovato Reportedly Hospitalized After Possible Drug Overdose The singer is being treated and is now "stable," an unnamed source told People.

Su***de is a difficult subject to talk about. I suspect many are the result of a mental health issue that hasn’t been recognised by anyone else or the person feels there is too much pain to bear.
Either way, this link is a FREE course for preventing su***de in the Workplace. Normally these are put on by IRD, via this CCH platform, and are usually $100-200. But this totally free.
If you manage staff and run a business then please register and become empowered.
🙏💜
https://www.cchlearning.co.nz/events/1622-preventing-su***de-in-the-workplace-2018/

Preventing su***de in the workplace 2018 – CCH Learning NZ New Zealand has one of the highest su***de rates in the OECD and the highest youth su***de rate. Numbers of su***des have risen for the past 3 years in a row and men are dying by su***de at a ratio of three men to one woman.

“The secret to getting ahead, is getting started” ~ Mark Twain.

If you’ve been struggling lately - watch this for a little motivation by Tom Bilyeu. Love his Impact Theory interviews too if you’re looking for inspiration on everything from business owners, science, successful and amazing people.

I love Monday’s. 🤗 Especially sunny beautiful peaceful Monday’s when my mind and mood is channeled into a positive mindset. 💜

Do you want to be you? Or do you want to be somebody else’s reflection of you?

Decide to start!
Decide to face possible failure.
Decide to get up after failing and learning from failure.
Decide who you want to become and the price you’re willing to pay to get there.

• Donna •

https://youtu.be/AgwH16DXQeg

Leverage Your Pain to Create Joy Experiencing pain is inevitable, but it's what you do with that pain that matters most. Tom Bilyeu inspires with quotes from Joseph Campbell and Aristotle. M...

I've cried twice today. Twice. Once in front of my physiotherapist for goodness sake (yup, great stuff Donna). The hard thing with emotions in recovery from any addiction is somehow holding your s**t together in front of CHILDREN. Yes, I've "faked it" for so many years you could be right to assume it probably comes easier to me than some, but it's hard when you just want to cry or be emotional, when it's not the right time (for many reasons).

It's been a year since I stopped engaging in eating disorder behaviours. And yet this week has been incredibly fu***ng hard. I could list all the great reasons why I think I'm 'entitled' to feel like s**t. But that isn't useful or helpful. It's days like these where I have thoughts of whether I will ever truly be free, because it feels so hard still.

Recovery is such a roller coaster. A few months into recovery I felt totally confident that I was finally better, like, for 'forever' better...I don't think that is the case. And don't think I can be naive enough to actually think that anymore either.

I've had old thoughts crop up like:
"you don't deserve to eat, you shouldn't have that, you're not able to exercise much now so do you really think you should eat that?".
Even though I have literally retrained my brain and made new connections, during tough times, the old strong pathways of addiction always sneak back in "just in case".

I have to be on guard. Just to notice. And objectively acknowledge these are old thoughts and reconfirm to myself that I don't believe those thoughts, nor will I act on them.

Even people with great mental health have s**tty weeks.
I have a warm cosy home, with a wonderful support network, friends and family, and a host of other humans that are suffering beyond words.

This too shall pass. 🙏
2️⃣️And just two more sleeps until Brad is home.

*On another note, I can't find much online about the stats of eating disorders, but this link I find really confronting and I disagree with a lot of these "facts" listed...😫
https://www.mirror-mirror.org/bulimia/statistics-on-bulimia.htm

Statistics on Bulimia Information and statistics on bulimia. Bulimia statistics include who it affects, what causes it, health implications, recovery and relapse rates, etc. Treatment information and resources.

Monday is always a good day. Kids are at school, babe at daycare, I reset by going to the gym and being totally conscious and mindful.
It feels like I've literally woken up from this long dream.
I see things I never saw.
I used to tell Mum how I "see in colour now".
I am grateful of this daily. The sun is shining. I have clean drinking water and a mind I am grateful for, not a mind bound in knots and creating my own suffering.

Today I am giving up drinking for the month and I'll see how I go....
a) I don't want to swear off drinking for the rest of my life just yet...nooooo, I want to test it out first! 😬 I haven't got to the point of being willing to let it go just yet.
b) I have a problem with drinking (as well), it has got much more apparent in the last year.

My partner is overseas for a week this time. He left yesterday. It seems like a perfect opportunity to stop now. No temptations, no annoying, frustrating conversations.
Just uncomfortable evenings not really sure what the hell to do.

I'm documenting my progress....I'll keep you updated.

Is there something in your life you want to give up?
Or something you want to do something?
Are you ready for a bigger and better future?

The path to freedom is really what I'm after. I may be "recovered" from my eating disorder, but am I really free if I rely on many other behaviours to numb my feelings and hit 'pause' on life when things are hard? Definitely not.
I have a LONG way to go. In fact, this is just the beginning.

One
Small
Step
At
A
Time
👣

*cute pic of my sisters and I being buried by Dad at probably one of our first beach trips. Poor Mum lol. 🤦‍♀️

I’m injured.
It’s a lower back pain (sacroiliac joint apparently 🤷🏼‍♀️).
Old thoughts are coming up.
Not surprising really - they’ve been honed & practiced for 18years to come up at any idea of not being able to exercise.
The reactions I get from people fascinates me.
I am visibly in pain and walking funny, I get endless amounts of pity (although that’s probably not the right word either - empathy is probably more correct) each day, although not from my 12yr old lol 🙄.

The irony is certainly not lost on me!
This seems so trivial.
It seems like this physical injury is such an insignificant pain to that which I was suffering with almost all waking moments (and dreams actually - that’s another novel 😳) for such a long time.

If it’s visible to the eye, it’s easy as fellow humans to feel compassion, we almost ‘feel’ their pain.
Eating disorders on the other hand, regardless of weight, can be rather easily ‘hidden’ in the normal weight range. I certainly was. Yes at times I was a bit lighter I was just “really fit”. Which was true. I was often very very fit. Physically fit but mentally and emotionally tortured.

So to reiterate - just because someone “looks good”, does not reflect anything about them whatsoever. In fact, for me it was just a great cover. Please look deeper with a great sense of unspeakable kindness. Because paradoxically I didn’t want sympathy or compassion either!!! At times I certainly did, but this would only be shown to my Mum.

I was clearly not ready and willing to make such profound change that was needed.

If someone you know is suffering, from ANY addiction, NOT JUST EATING DISORDERS, please be unspeakably kind. Allow their suffering without taking it on - it isn’t a problem you can (or should) try to fix.

💜 Just be unspeakably kind.
💜 Unspeakably kind.

I was so Goddam tired of trying.

Trying is SO much harder than succumbing to my urges and desire to numb. So hard that it felt like I was trying to climb out of my skin. My head. The incessant chatter and self talk in addiction is simply excruciating and relentless.

Thousands upon thousands upon THOUSANDS of times it was just easier to numb and succumb in order to quieten the mind and rest and sleep for the night.

My Mum (bless her she's a fricken angel 🙏) got in the habit of saying after another hard day for me - "It's a new day tomorrow darling. Remember you can start again. It's a new day".
I actually told her to tell me that. So I wouldn't give up.

No matter what, I made a promise to myself and my parents.
No matter what - I would never ever give up trying. No matter what.