Crumb Hill

challenged the Crumb Hill Crumbs to take on his GCU Antelopes in a rousing game of Sportball. Needless to say, the Crumbs won and the Antelopes have been banished to The Dimension.

Crumb Hillians lining up for their daily rations.

The Crumb Hill Aquatic Deep Sea Department (CHADS-D) has been scouring our waters for the Lost Letter, rumored to have the secret of our town’s origins.

“It’s either in here or it got dropped into The Dimension. Or I left it in my sock drawer,” said the lead searcher.

Crumb Hill Prison has been voted “Dampest prison in the country”!!

“It’s so damp it’s nearly wet!” said one inmate.

“Yes it’s very damp. I don’t get why they’re proud of that,” stated another.

Many children this past week were lured out of Crum Hill by the Chog. He promised them a life of eating nothing but pastries and crabs—something all the adults know to be false, but the children fell for it. Some have returned when they realized he would actually just be eating them instead.

Those who returned told us that some of the others are still holding onto hope for just one really good crab.

Some of the beests from The Dimension have the ability to tell you when you’re going to be fired from your job. This man is weeping because in 117 days, he will lose his job for whispering. :/

The nice thing about Crumb Hill is you never need to build a house! They get delivered. Sometimes they also float away while people are in them so always stay alert! Here are two photos of some new batches coming and some old ones going.

“Do you see her too or is it just me? You see her? Right there by the tree? You seek her, right?”

There are a series of guys who keep circling Crumb Hill, just outside our county lines. So please stay in Crumb Hill until this nightmare has passed and these guys are gone. Why would you ever want to leave Crumb Hill anyway? It’s the best here and we have everything you’d ever need!

Mr. Pubbock and his collection of handmade dolls. Just don’t get too close to them and definitely don’t whisper to them if you like the way your face looks now!

This creature from The Dimension gave a guest lecture to our elementary schoolers on the value of molting and the glory of having an exoskeleton. He concluded by telling them to “work on it,” and we weren’t sure what that means.

It’s springtime in Crum Hill, and you know what that means! Every day at 1:17 the fruit comes alive to play with the children. Remember that adults CANNOT PLAY WITH THE FRUIT! IT IS NOT SAFE FOR ADULTS TO PLAY!! Just kids.

Love in Crumb Hill is a weird thing! You can stay solo your whole life and keep all your skin. But as soon as you start to love someone your skin starts falling off. Slowly at first, then all at once. Much like falling in love.

The Merryjack family, with their adopted son (far right).

Every night she comes and dances on my bed before I can get into it. It messes up the covers which really bothers me.

“As we stood there watching, the giants began pulling out their own wiring, their own guts and oil and caps and pistons like a simultaneous self destruct had been initiated. They kept pulling until they all fell still and powered off.”

On the third day after he descended into The Dimension, he returned, only larger.

There have been a few Wetts seen crawling out of Crumb Swamp recently. They are relatively harmless as long as you don’t whisper, you’re not female, and you’re not carrying bread.

Little Rodger and Pam Dollweed with their pet, Tunt.

“I just love arresting this little guy. He’s so soft. Every time I do it I get excited….oh what’s that? What do I arrest him for? He keeps trying to lure kids into The Dimension with candy!”

These children have built their own snow friends! Remember that in Crumb Hill, making your own snow friend is an ‘at your own risk’ activity, and we are not responsibly for any injuries or deaths incurred by their construction.

Crumb Hill’s resident painter, Rita Hollow, will be displaying some of her artworks (following slides) in the municipal janitorial closet. Come see them this Saturday at 1:17! Mind the brooms and hold your breath to avoid inhaling cleaning solution.

Do you dream of skies beyond our own? Do you dream of progress or of retreat? Are you able to imaging worlds beyond your own horizon? The future is shaped by the pioneers, not the routineers.

His family forgot about Little Cole. But he didn’t let them forget about that. Don’t forget about your children!

The Treefolk have been spotted in Crumb Hill already as they are every spring! It seems to get earlier and earlier every year though, doesn’t it? They are great to go to for advice and all they’ll ask for in return is to leave a piece of lint in their mouth nook.

“I asked him to wait outside but I left the front door cracked open just a hair and now I don’t know what to do, he’s right there, what should I do? He’s slowly walking toward me, should I run or hide? What should I do?”

Uh oh! Someone woke up the Sleeper! Please watch the skies this weekend to be sure you don’t get smooshed.

Come on out today to see the Dromph fly overhead! It only does it once a month and then it needs to recharge its strength for another flight. Don’t miss it!!

“I am a Wallmaker. I make singing walls. But their voices are only heard here in Crumb Hill. It won’t work if you move the wall somewhere else.”

Sometimes Crum Hill gets Guests. Please show respect at all costs to these Guests. Go out of your way to be hospitable.

Please.

We NEED our Guests to feel welcomed. We cannot risk a repeat of making them disappointed in us again. If anyone is caught being less than warm to our Guests, they may spend a night or two in Crumb Jail….