Unhitchus

If you or someone you know wants to learn about how to be compassionate in divorce without compromising your legal rights join me on October 25, 2024! I'm excited to do this as part of the annual Cady Day of Service honoring the memory of our beloved former Chief Justice Mark Cady. This seminar is free.

Diane L. Dornburg, and I will be presenting at the Iowa Family Law Conference on the topic of Grief In Family Law on Thursday, October 24th. Stress and loss is everywhere in our world with climate, war, hate, division, political dysfunction and heartbreak. Now add swimming in the stress, trauma and grief of divorce daily, from the side of the attorneys handling the caseloads while navigating their own personal grief, the clients dismantling their families and finances, and the children impacted in numerous ways.

We hope our colleagues will join us for an hour of conversation about taking care of ourselves and each other as we navigate the terrain of grief. Immediately afterward we will have a talking circle to strengthen our community of support for each other, and for our profession as family lawyers. We hope you will join us!❤

In my work with high-conflict parents I often hear: "(s)he hates me more than (s)he loves the children that is why we are still fighting."

Please can we eliminate this horrible phrase?

After working with thousands of families in conflict this phrase is not only inaccurate it fuels the fire. Conflict takes two. Divorce and breakups are painful beyond measure. Hurting people do things to try to alleviate their suffering. Blaming the other, convincing themselves they are the noble one and the other person is the culprit, and being unable to contain complicated emotions are things I see often.

Instead, try compassion (not the same as accepting bad behavior). Also, look at what YOU can do differently in the dynamic. Taking personal responsibility for your own role in the conflict is the first step to healing yourself AND your family. PRIDE loses every time.

“How did the rose
Ever open its heart
And give to this world
All its beauty?
It felt the encouragement of light
Against its Being.
Otherwise,
We all remain too frightened."

-Hafiz

Thank you for making UnHitchUs "the little engine that could" for Iowa online divorce.

When I launched it pre-Covid in August of 2019 it was largely untested, but it endured and thrived helping couples smoothly divorce online in the thick of the pandemic.

I am committed to continuing to assist couples who agree on most things to divorce with quality legal services at a flat fee from the comfort of home or office.