Zen Mama

~Preparing to Be Born~

In a mother's womb were two babies. One asked the other: "Do you believe in life after delivery?"

The other replies, "Why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later."

"Nonsense," says the other. "There is no life after delivery. What would that life be?"

"I don't know, but there will be more light than here. Maybe we will walk with our legs and eat from our mouths."

The other says "This is absurd! Walking is impossible. And eat with our mouths? Ridiculous. The umbilical cord supplies nutrition. Life after delivery is to be excluded. The umbilical cord is too short."

"Well, I think there is something and maybe it's different than it is here."

The other replies, "No one has ever come back from there. Delivery is the end of life, and in the after-delivery it is nothing but darkness and anxiety and it takes us nowhere."

"Well, I don't know," says the other, "but certainly we will see mother and she will take care of us."

"Mother??" You believe in mother? Where is she now?"

"She is all around us. It is in her that we live. Without her there would not be this world."

"I don't see her, so it's only logical that she doesn't exist."

To which the other replied, "Sometimes when you're in silence you can hear her, you can perceive her. I believe there is a reality after delivery and we are here to prepare ourselves for that reality."

"We need to try and get more veg into him."

By we, he means me.

I get defensive:

"Well, he eats bananas now. And he'll eat the carrots in my cottage pie. And I put parsnip in the mash. And cauliflower in his macaroni cheese. I hid apple in his porridge this morning."

Snack time comes around and I persuade him to have some strawberries. A brief protest ensues because I sliced them. But he eats them and I momentarily feel like a good mum.

How strange that my worth as a mother is dictated hourly by the food that passes his lips.

He starts to jig uncomfortably. That telling "I need a wee" dance that he does.

"Do you need a wee?" I ask, knowing full well what he'll say.

"No! Mummy! Don't!'

I keep forgetting how that potty lady said you don't ASK them. You TELL them they need a wee.

I try to coerce him towards the downstairs loo.

"Race you! I bet I can do a wee before you."

A trick that worked so well only last week but that he's suddenly got wise to.

I change tack. "I wonder what colour your wee is today. I bet it's GREEN" I say animatedly.

Still. Nothing.

He reaches for the box of Cheerios left on the kitchen counter.

"Can I pour them out?" he asks, pointing to a tupperware plate.

I have visions of overflowing Cheerios crunched into the living room carpet. But lack the energy to tell him no. Plus he's enjoying himself.

"Yeah. Go on then."

Sure enough, the living room is now mostly Cheerios.

He carefully carries his overflowing honey hoop loot over to the couch and I remind myself that they are 'fortified with vitamins and iron.'

We sit together munching on dry Cheerios.

Ah, peace.

I look over and he's frozen on the spot. He looks down. This can only mean one thing. I knew this would happen.

I freeze too, wondering whether to attempt a last-ditch dash to the potty or just stay here and let it flow in the one spot.

I foolishly lift him and we create a trail of wee across the room. All over the duplo. And the bloody Cheerios.

"Oh. I did need a wee" he says.

Art by: This Mama Doodles

Words: Karen McMillan (Mother Truths)

From "Warm Like Summer: Little Stories of Early Motherhood"
Available on Amazon: https://linktr.ee/mother_truths

Another brilliant resource from Very Special Tales. They post awesome stuff all the time so do visit and follow!

You've probably noticed by now that not every calm-down strategy works for everyone. And you've probably run into a young person who, when you try to suggest a calm-down strategy, says "tried that. didn't work for me."

That's why having a huge resource bank of different strategies is so helpful - because we all have different needs and preferences. Use this list as a guide for something new to try, work with a young person to identify one's they want to try and ones that don't work for them, or rank them from best to worst...

You can get the PDF download plus learn more about what each strategy is and how to do it by visiting: https://veryspecialtales.com/calming-strategies-kids/

Sound on

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CfezEC4jlkV/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Watch this reel by radicalselflove on Instagram radicalselflove • Original Audio

“You are their sun.

But even the sun rests.”

(Well, goes MIA for 12 hours a day depending on where you live in the world. But still.)

_______________

Rest is a very important aspect of mothering and parenting. I don’t consider it a “break”. I consider it a piece in the puzzle. The rest don’t fit if we don’t support mamas to rest.

I created this instead of cleaning my house and emptying my compost bin.

Highly recommend.