Power In You - Life Coaching

Not everyone who jokes or smiles or says, "I'm fine." is fine.
A lot of people mask their pain, confusion, sadness, concern and stress with a, "Yep, it's all good."
Take a moment and lend am empathetic ear to them. Remind them it's ok to not "be fine" and that they can talk to you.
You can start by telling a little of your story, "I had a situation that was similar..." but make sure you let them know it worked out and let them talk too.
Sometimes knowing they are not alone, that others have gone before them, sometimes that's the very thing that will be lift them up.
Be a good friend, loved one, family member or whatever and listen and share to help them heal. You've got this! xo

Fantastic words of wisdom from one of my favorite authors, Seth Godin: "The problem with holding a grudge...is that your hands are then too full to hold onto anything else. It might be the competition or a technology or the lousy things that someone did a decade ago. None of it is going to get better as a result of revisiting the grudge."
What are you holding onto that's not allowing you to move ahead?

Extra like!

Last night I had a very rewarding coaching session. We spent a lot of time talking about the need for someone else to tell us what to do, what move to make next.
My client expressed a fear around deciding certain things for himself because he's tried things before and failed at them.
I think this is something that a lot of us deal with maybe not the extent of my client but certainly in some areas of our life.
It's easier to remove responsibility from our own self and pass it on to someone else. But once we do that, any success, any joy, any satisfaction isn't ours to enjoy - it belongs to someone else.
More importantly, if it doesn't go as planned then WE do not have to accept responsibility and we don't find the lesson to learn. And that lesson to learn takes our failure to experience and on to success.
You may think life is easier with someone telling you what to do but trust me, it isn't.
Once someone else is directing all you do, you really are the puppet and someone else your master and life is less colorful and enjoyable once that becomes the norm.
Live well my peeps!

Are you in the habit of negative self-talk? You know the kind of talk I'm speaking of: you make a wrong turn and the first thing you say to yourself is "I'm so stupid, I know better." or you burn something on the stove and say "I'm such an idiot."
That kind of negative self-talk manifests itself into other things we say such as "I'll never get that job." or "I can't do that, I'm not good enough or smart enough." And before you know it...it's all true.
Now, take two of your fingers and jam them into your rib cage, hard.
Does that feel good? Of course not, but hold them there for 60 seconds and try to think of anything else other than those two fingers in your rib cage.
I bet that's a really hard thing to do, to think of anything other than those two fingers causing you pain.
That's what negative self-talk does - it pulls your focus away from what you can do and focuses on the bad and what you can't do...because you keep telling yourself you can't.
Stop the negative self-talk - it's a lot more harmful than two fingers jammed into your rib cage.
Live well my peeps!

When someone does you wrong, as invariably someone will at some point in your life, I urge you to refrain from wishing them ill.
When we're wronged or hurt and we wish bad things to happen to that person, we are opening up the void to allow others to wish ill on us and we're not allowing our self to heal from the hurt.
It's an open wound that won't close. It will fester and it will cause us damage.
When someone does you wrong, remember that their journey is different from yours, they are still learning. Take your lessons from that encounter and move on. There is a lesson in even the worst encounter - find it and be better because, or in spite, of it.
Live well my peeps!

Take the time to explore your feelings; the darker feelings, the ones that you were told were negative. The feelings of shame, anger, indifference, etc.
All too often we ignore these feelings because we were told they are negative feelings and we shouldn't have them. We need to suppress them when they present themselves.
I say explore them: what's causing them, where are they coming from, what purpose are they meant to serve, are they bringing you somewhere you need to go? If we ignore those "negative" feelings they don't go away, they stay, they fester, they pester and they grow.
Take the time to explore your feelings and find their origin and give yourself the opportunity for true growth and betterment.
Live well my peeps!

Have you been getting consumed living up to someone else's expectations?
It happens and sometimes it happens before you even know it.
If you find yourself here, take a moment to determine YOUR expectations for YOU. Write them out; what do you expect from your own self. Where do you want to be? Where do you want to go? What's important to you?
Figure that out and begin living up to your own expectations.
Live well my peeps!

Have you had negative thoughts about yourself or a situation that you're in? More than likely you have, we all have at some point.
Those negative thoughts, if left unchecked, become pervasive and before we know it; we only have negative thoughts. The more those thoughts come up, the more we begin to believe them. The more we begin to believe them, the more they become our reality.
Negative talk will take our power so let's take that power back. Reframe our negative talk into something positive, something powerful, something productive!
Live well my peeps!

Where is your level of resiliency?
When something happens in your life are you able to bounce back quickly, dust yourself off and move forward? Or do you feel defeated, thinking the world is against you and it takes time for you to feel safe enough to venture out? Maybe you're somewhere in between?
Your level of resiliency plays a big role not just in how quickly you bounce back but also in how you feel and how you cope and where your stress level is at. The lower your resiliency the higher your stress and vice versa.
There are no quick and easy answers, if there were; everyone would be doing it but you can work to increase your resiliency. You owe it to yourself to do so.
Live well my peeps!

All too often we think we have to be string. We have to do it all on our own. We can't seek out help when we need it.
That's a really tall order and at some point everyone could use a break or a helping hand or call out for help.
It looks different for everyone and it comes at a different time for each of us.
There doesn't have to be fear in asking for help, the fear lives in what happens when we don't.
Live well my peeps.

From one of my favorite authors, Seth Godin: "By giving people more ways to speak up and more tools to take action, we keep decreasing the gap between what we wish for and what we can do about it.

If you're not willing to do anything about it, best not to waste the energy wishing about it."

This is what coaching is about; we help you by providing you with the tools to unpack your thoughts and make lasting changes in your life...but if you choose to do nothing with it or about it - then it's your choice and don't complain that you don't have what you would. Because you very well could have.

Live well my peeps and take that next step in your health and wellness, or personal development or career transition.

Here's your 24 hour challenge for today...do something good for someone other than yourself.
Don't get me wrong, every day you should be good to YOU but for the next 24 hours, live a more altruistic lifestyle by doing good for others.
Whether it's helping a friend out, volunteering at your local food bank or homeless shelter, or donating your money or time to your favorite charity...do something for someone else.
Altruism is hard wired to the pleasure centers in our brain so ultimately you'll end up feeling really good about yourself afterwards.
Perhaps a rush of serotonin or dopamine (the happy chemicals our bodies can naturally produce) to your brain.
Give it a try over the next 24 hours, it won't hurt.
Live well my peeps!

Impossibly you say? Hardly...that's not part of my vocabulary.
Is it part of yours? If so, let's change that!

Today has another challenge for you and a challenge for me, so let's tackle this together!
Offer a smile to all you meet today.
That's it, it's that simple. Whether you're at work, home, grocery store, the park, a restaurant, wherever: offer a smile to all those folks you meet and those that cross your path.
It can be a toothy smile, a smile that spreads from the top of your head to the bottom of your face or a smile that says "Hey, how are you doing today?" Just offer up a smile - to everyone and see how good YOU feel!
Try it for 24 hours.

Live well my peeps!

When should you worry? Follow this flow chart:
http://lifehacker.com/this-flow-chart-tells-you-when-to-worry-about-anything-1638610395?utm_campaign=socialflow_lifehacker_twitter&utm_source=lifehacker_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

This Flow Chart Tells You When to Worry About Anything Stress can be terribly damaging. Although it's normal to get stressed every so often, much of what we worry about doesn't come to pass. This illustration could help keep things in perspective.

Today's challenge is a good one, are you ready for it?
For today be grateful for all that you have and all that comes your way. Whatever it may be.
Chances are, whatever you have, however much or little it is in your eyes, it's more than what someone else has. Be grateful for it.
Even if something occurs that seems less than pleasant or perfect, be grateful for it because you know that whatever happens you can make the best of it.
Practice 24 hours of gratefulness and see how you feel at the end of the 24 hours.
Live well my peeps!

I learn a little something from each and every coaching session that I have.
I absolutely enjoy seeing my clients succeed.

Here's your challenge for today:
For just one 24 hour period, no complaining. That's right, try for 24 hours to keep the griping, the complaining, the moaning and groaning out of your thoughts and out if your conversation (both written and verbal).
Try it. You can go back to complaining in 24 hours and one minute but for 24 hours try being an optimistic or positive voice in your part of the world.
Live well my peeps!

This morning I was fortunate enough to see a sliver of the moon perched just above this gorgeous dark purple cloud in a deep blue sky.
It was a beautiful sight to see and it inspired me to challenge you all to a new challenge each day.
Today's challenge: what do you see around you? What beauty is there that inspires you or makes you take a second look?
Live well my peeps!

When you take the time to remove the average and the mediocre then, and only then will the exceptional be found.
Look around your life...are you accepting average and mediocre? Is that OK for you or do you want better?
Live well my peeps!

Here's the scoop and it's the scoop that we're all told at some point in our life but we don't truly believe. Ready, because here it is: No one is going to give you permission, you have to give yourself permission. And then, do it.

That's it. YOU give yourself permission. You don't have to wait around for anyone else to do that for you but so many of us do.
Are we really that polite or just that fearful of how it will turn out? I'm going with fearful; fearful of how it will all work out. What if it's a disaster? Then we have only our own self to hold accountable because we gave our own self permission.
Ok fine, then we need to make sure we learned something from that experience. Chances are it's not the end of the world if we don't succeed but ask yourself this: what if it's a huge success? A huge success that you gave yourself permission for.
Live well my peeps!

Thousands of years ago Marcus Aurelius understood what it takes to be a exceptional leader...and those things stand true today. Here they are and I've posted the link to the original article below:
1. Understand that people exist to help one another.
2. Be mindful of others' humanity.
3. Realize that many mistakes, even egregious ones, are the result of ignorance.
4. Don't overly exalt yourself.
5. Avoid quick judgments of others' actions.
6. Maintain self-control.
7. Recognize that others can hurt you only if you let them.
8. Know that pessimism can easily overtake you.
9. Practice kindness.
10. Do not expect bad people to exempt you from their destructive ways.
When I read these, they are 10 fantastic guidelines for being not just an exceptional leader - but an exceptional human.

To read the full article: http://www.businessinsider.com/marcus-aurelius-on-being-a-great-leader-2014-9?utm_content=buffera828c&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Marcus Aurelius' 10 Rules For Being An Exceptional Leader The Philosopher King explains how to keep a steady head and manage others regardless of challenges you face.

Some days are not as easy as other days.
Some days we struggle to find our purpose, we question our decisions, we wonder if we're doing the right things to get the results we want.
Some days things do not go as we planned or as we want, we feel that we're missing out or being left behind, that no one is there for us.
Some days as not as easy as other days.
As long as "some days" are not EVERY day then we know that the "some days" are put there to help us appreciate all the other days.
We all have these feelings from time to time and that's normal - during these times pay attention to your thoughts and ask yourself...how true is any of this, really.
Live well my peeps!

Powerful message this morning thanks to my friend LG.

Have you ever encountered someone that is overly concerned with what others think? Paralyzed by what someone else might think (or say) they stay stuck for days, months, even years!

Why? Why would we give someone our power? You wouldn't give a stranger power of attorney, would you? Then why allow someone else's thoughts to determine your actions, your direction, your goals.

Less concern over the thoughts of others leads us to a better life.
Live well my peeps!

Wise advice from one of my favorite authors, Seth Godin:

"Forgive yourself for not being the richest, the thinnest, the tallest, the one with the best hair. Forgive yourself for not being the most successful, the cutest or the one with the fastest time. Forgive yourself for not winning every round.

Forgive yourself for being afraid.

But don't let yourself off the hook, never forgive yourself, for not caring or not trying."

Every moment is your moment, really.
If life isn't going as you planned and you need a change of pace or if you have a chance to try something new or head in a different direction - you can do it.
Think about what your obstacle is and how can you focus on what you want (and not the fear of what you need).
Live well my peeps!

I see this all too often, we're all guilty of it at one point or another...we diminish and depreciate our worth.
Faith in who you are what you bring to the table is vital to your success.
You are marvelous and don't forget it!

Which is it? If you're just paying bills, maybe coaching into a new career is what you need.

August is "what will your legacy be" month, I didn't know about this myself until just a few weeks ago but I came up with a challenge for everyone.
Figure out what your legacy will be by writing your obituary. It may sound a little morbid but I assure you, it's a great exercise in figuring out what you want to be remembered for and what you want to contribute to the greater good that you'll leave behind.
Write out your obit; talk about your family, the things you did in life, places you visited, what lasting impressions you left, charities you donated to. Don't write about how you die, just about the great things you did while you were here.
Then read it over...are you doing any of those things? If so, good for you! If not, what are you waiting for - your legacy is ready to begin.
Live well my peeps!