Kid Focused

This is beautiful…

Happy Mothers Day 🌺

“My brother and I were both placed into foster homes at a young age. He was lucky—he went to a family called the Ripleys. I went through four different homes in three years, and each one was worse than the next. I’d get to see my brother every few months. Ms. Ripley would take us for lunch at McDonalds, and that’s when she first noticed the scars all over my body. She immediately made arrangements for me to join their family. Back then the word ‘family’ didn’t mean much to me. But the Ripleys made me feel welcome in their home.
Whenever I did something wrong, Ms. Ripley would sit me down and explain why it wasn’t OK. But then she’d say: ‘You’re not going anywhere. Because you belong to us now.’ Shortly after I joined the family, Mr. Ripley was diagnosed with cancer. And later that year he passed away. Ms. Ripley’s entire world fell apart. They’d been high school sweethearts. And now she was alone with two foster kids. Nobody would have blamed her for taking us back.
But instead she took us to court and made it permanent. The three of us moved into a single wide trailer in Mississippi, and that’s where she raised us. She worked whatever odd jobs she could find. We never had much, but we went to movies. We had family game nights. She kept us busy with little league and Boy Scouts. She must have been super stressed, but that’s not at all what I remember.
I just remember the affirmation that she gave me. It was always: ‘You’re smart.’ And ‘You’re handsome.’ And ‘You survived all that stuff because you’re strong.’ She cried when I joined the Marines, but she knew it was my best chance for a college education. And eventually I graduated from law school.
Last year I had a daughter of my own. And that really put me into an emotional tailspin. Because I realized how every little choice I make is going to affect her future. And then I started thinking about how different my life could have been. Because my early development had been the opposite of what a child’s should be. I should be broken, but I’m not. Because thirty years ago my Mom decided to keep me. And somehow, despite all her sadness and heartbreak, she poured enough love into me so that I could heal.”

As we exited the Indiana Jones ride, side-stepping throngs of people around us, I noticed a small child having a meltdown. Her back was arched, stiffened, so that her frustrated father couldn’t buckle her in the stroller. She was 2 or 3, wearing a baby-blue Elsa gown. Her face read exhaustion as did her parents’. The mom muttered something to the dad that I couldn’t hear, but even in their own Disney-inspired clothing it was clear they were certainly not in the “happiest place on earth.”

Crib Notes: Disneyland isn’t for little kids We hadn’t been to Disneyland as a family since 2017 before we went earlier this month right when school got out. There’s no better time to avoid the crowds when it comes to Disneyland. In March, in October, on Wednesdays, 365 days a year that place is jammed — the most successful business plan...

Happy Father’s Day!

I’m sure going to miss my middle school students! I will encourage them to keep reading when school breaks for summer next week.

Crib Notes: Why do we read and write? One of the many things I appreciate about teaching middle school English is that it’s often the last time a child gets guided classroom reading. We read books together and then we talk and write about them. By high school it’s often left to a student to complete reading on their own. Rich discus...

Utah is the first state in the country to pass legislation that would limit minors’ social media use. Utah Gov. Spencer Cox signed two bills into effect last month, collectively known as the Social Media Regulation Act, that would prevent children from using social media from 10:30 p.m. to 6:30 a.m. and require social platforms like Instagram, TikTok and Facebook give parents access to their teens’ accounts. It is set to take effect March 1, 2024.

Crib Notes: Safety beats freedom when it comes to kids A simple question by my teenage daughter at the dinner table recently got me thinking. “Why are there so many rules to protect kids,” she asked, “like having to have permission slips or not allowing adults who don’t work at a school to just walk around, when they are free to just about anywh...

Can you name a few? 🍎

Truth! 💗

“Can we get pizza? It’s National Pizza Day,” my daughter asked me recently. I was confused. How did she know that? I had to look it up and, indeed, National Pizza Day is on Feb. 9. I was oblivious to National Sons Day, too, which was apparently on March 8. Only when I saw other moms posting tributes to their sons online, which gave me a mild pang of guilt, did I realize it…

I have been curious about this new wave of holidays and discovered they’re all a big marketing ploy.

Crib Notes: Yearning for tradition “Can we get pizza? It’s National Pizza Day,” my daughter asked me recently. I was confused. How did she know that? I had to look it up and, indeed, National Pizza Day is on Feb. 9. I was oblivious to National Sons Day, too, which was apparently on March 8. Only when I saw other moms posting tr...

“Disconnection is a disease … Rates of su***de, anxiety and depression are rising in our youth despite our advanced culture of wealth, creativity and productivity.”

Crib Notes: How to live a happy life Five years ago this month, in the first hours after my mother died, the words came out of nowhere, striking me like a lightning bolt: Life is all about relationships.

Depression doesn’t always look like darkness. It can mask itself in jokes and smiles, in song and in dance. It can be rich and good-looking on the outside, dripping in the best clothes and jewelry. It isn’t always isolated either; it can be flanked by a loving family and adoring friends.

The shocking news of Stephen “tWitch” Boss’ su***de is a stunning reminder that we don’t know what is really going on in people’s lives.

Crib Notes: Smoke and mirrors Depression doesn’t always look like darkness. It can mask itself in jokes and smiles, in song and in dance. It can be rich and good-looking on the outside, dripping in the best clothes and jewelry. It isn’t always isolated either; it can be flanked by a loving family and adoring friends.

I shared Alanis Morissette’s 1996 hit “Ironic” with eighth-graders to kick off our suspense unit recently. Once an anthem sung ‘round the world, only a handful of students had heard it before.

When they listened to “it’s like rain on your wedding day” and “it’s a free ride when you’ve already paid” as they read the lyrics, I saw the lightbulbs of understanding brighten as they grasped the concept of irony — when the unexpected occurs.

Crib Notes: Isn’t it ironic? I shared Alanis Morissette’s 1996 hit “Ironic” with eighth-graders to kick off our suspense unit recently. Once an anthem sung ‘round the world, only a handful of students had heard it before. When they listened to “it’s like rain on your wedding day” and “it’s a free ride when you...

When she started at the ripe age of 13, my daughter was surprised to learn she was making more money hourly than her enterprising older siblings. “Why doesn’t everyone want to ref?” she asked during training.

She soon found out.

Crib Notes: ”Hey, ref!” Is it ever ok to challenge a game official? It’s been a perk for my youngest to watch her three older siblings navigate their first jobs. She gets a peek into a bigger world filled with new people and experiences. We all get to benefit from their newly acquired skills like how to pour the perfect soft serve or make restaurant quality pizzas...

Some sobering reminders of life’s fragility of late. It’s important that kids learn these lessons too!

Crib Notes: No promises I used to think living to the average lifespan of 80 was a given. I suppose it was the optimism in me, but it was also a sign of my naïveté. I felt robbed when my Grandpa Jack of Herculean strength lived to be only 84. It was hard to think a Superman of a guy like he was could ever die. One of my ...

“In this world where the most outrageous thing a person can do in front of a camera is regarded as king, it’s what one does in the quiet — to open a door, offer a seat, show integrity when no one is watching — that reigns supreme.”

Crib Notes: We need more Wallys Everyone loved Wally Richardson. The El Dorado Hills resident and World War II veteran spent more than 20 years lighting up the north side of town with his friendship, kindness and fun, greeting thousands of neighbors, particularly school children and their parents walking to and from Lake Forest El...

“Wally often spoke about the ripple effect he hoped his actions would have on young people, citing Saint Mother Teresa’s words, ‘I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples.’”

Here’s a profile I wrote about a wonderful role model in my small community who passed away at 98 years old this past week. We need more Wallys in the world ❤️

Farewell, friend. Wally's love and kindness remembered Wally Richardson’s signature smile and wave was a mainstay near Marina Village Middle School and Lake Forest Elementary School. Thousands of students enjoyed “Wally-isms” and friendly greetings nearly every day. Photo by Diane Orciuoli

My teenage daughter made an excellent point recently while we were talking about the surge in high-profile su***des the past few months. “People should have mental health check-ups just like physical check-ups,” she explained, which led us to think about the buzz phrase: “We need to destigmatize mental health.”

What would that look like and how might we go about doing it? What if we could check in with kids while they’re young enough to get help for an issue before it has the chance to get bigger? What if small mental health woes any of us suffer from could be treated before they metastasize into full-fledge depression?

Crib Notes: A different kind of check-up My teenage daughter made an excellent point recently while we were talking about the surge in high-profile su***des the past few months. “People should have mental health check-ups just like physical check-ups,” she explained, which led us to think about the buzz phrase: “We need to destigmati...

When I traveled to Russia as a 16-year-old in 1990 I thought I’d arrive to the cold, Siberian wilderness I’d always seen on TV. I was there only eight months after the Berlin Wall came down and 17 months before the full collapse of the Soviet Union, yet nothing even closely resembled the words “cold” or “war” during my stay.

Crib Notes: Don’t fall into this trap When I traveled to Russia as a 16-year-old in 1990 I thought I’d arrive to the cold, Siberian wilderness I’d always seen on TV. During our three weeks there, the delegation of student ambassadors I was with traveled by bus to dozens of towns spanning Moscow to St. Petersburg. Among many activiti...

Tips to help your kids focus

Crib Notes: Get in the zone Wordle is a little word game that’s made a big splash since it was released just four months ago, skyrocketing from 90 daily users to millions today. It’s a simple concept: a player gets six tries to identify a single, five-letter word and you can only play once each day. Americans are hooked be...

Thinking of a word for 2022 will help kids (and all of us) stay grounded and less anxious or depressed in this ever-changing time.

Crib Notes: What’s your word? It was 2019 and I was spending the first New Year’s Eve in years with my older sister. She pointed out a stack of poster boards and magazines in her kitchen, explaining she’d grown accustomed to making a vision board each Jan. 1. “Instead of a resolution, I think of one word that I want to man...

“Go see ‘King Richard’ this holiday season with your loved ones ages 12 and older. All ages will walk away reminded that service to others over self and staying true to one’s own convictions offer rewards that money and fame just can’t buy.”

Crib Notes: ‘King Richard’ is movie royalty Our elders who lived during World War II were given the name the Greatest Generation for good reason. Whether they were fighting in battlefields or were children back home living through rationing and mandatory blackouts to stay hidden from potential air strikes, that generation symbolizes grit and....

This is dedicated to high school seniors (and their parents) who are navigating college admissions right now.

Crib Notes: Do what you love November may mark the start of “the most wonderful time of the year,” but for some people it is a month of stress. With college application deadlines looming, many high school seniors are wrestling with some heavy choices about what they think will determine their ultimate happiness: what to stu...

Our political differences didn’t matter in the days after 9/11.
We were unified as a country, we were one. I hope on this 9/11 young people can learn from those who remember that terrible day how we came together.

Sometimes I think I’m naive to hope that we can return to one United States, but this picture of my husband and me as newlyweds in NYC with the Twin Towers in the background reminds me to not give up hoping.

This is a picture of two people who couldn’t be more different (except that we share a birthday). Most glaring is that we have different religions and different political beliefs, but we have been happily married for 21 years and those differences have made for some great conversations over the years, but they don’t define us.

If I could choose for us to be the same on those fundamental differences I wouldn’t, because being different gives me a perspective I wouldn’t have otherwise.

So if we can get along, why can’t people who don’t share toothpaste?

Seeing parents take their teens to college reminds me of how I was feeling one year ago. I still remember how that lump in my throat felt! What tips helped you make the transition?

Crib Notes: Flying the nest As I watch other parents sending their teenagers off to college, I remember the agonizing lump in my throat when we were doing the same one year ago. I wish I knew then what I know now.

From the mouths of babes ❤️

Clarksville Elementary Students Sing "We Are The World" After an especially challenging school year, students at Clarksville Elementary School pulled together to sing a timeless song with an enduring message: when...

What are your thoughts on kids holding jobs? Any memorable stories?

Crib Notes: An even better time for teen jobs My teenage son wants to buy a car to take back to college for his second year. He’s had his eye on that prize since last winter. In February he announced he’d been recruited with some other college students to sell home security systems door to door this summer in Texas. By the time the school s...

Va**ng is now considered a public health crisis and our young people are most at-risk.

Va**ng is ruining student athletes: ’It’s heartbreaking' Paul Spear, athletic director at Framingham High School, said students started getting suspended on a weekly basis last school year. Some athletes have started showing signs of ni****ne addiction and health problems, which they attribute to e-cigarette use.

If your middle or high schoolers are interested in writing, I’d love to see them at the first of three sessions this Tuesday.

All you need is internet access to join me for these free reading and writing activities surrounding “Murphy’s Miracle: One Dog’s Wild Journey.” I hope to see you and your kids there! Kids 12 and older may participate on their own.

El Dorado County's 2021 Book to Action series of events explores resilience in times of hardship. We'll focus on finding perspective, maintaining connections, and appreciating those closest to us, including our pets.

Find out more information here: https://eldoradolibrary.org/book-to-action-el-dorado-2021/