Retired not Expired

The first post I saw this morning as I scrolled through enjoying my coffee made my heart hit the floor. It was a grandparent who had found out that her grandchildren had been told she was dead.
Forty three years ago today I became a Mother. I knew my brief marriage was not going to make it but I was still full of hope for the future. I couldn't wait for the baby to get here and like many a fool before me I thought my love would be enough. I thought if I made the divorce simple and didn't ask for much I could navigate life and raise a happy child. I thought he could go on to find his perfect person and I could pick up my life and try to get to college and start writing again. No hard feelings. Did I mention I was a fool? Failure has never stopped me from doing anything. Just ask my ex husbands, if I were as rich as J Lo no one would care that I kept looking for love and my perfect person and failing.
I started this blog and a couple of others over and over and over. I'm starting it over again today, this milestone day in my life.
It was meant to be for those of us aging alone but inevitably the sadness of estrangement would show through. I'm an emotional person and my writing shows that.
I didn't know how to write a blog when I started. Now I know a little more and as time goes on I imagine I will finally hit my groove. Like my marriages that finally ended with me single and happier than I have ever been maybe the blog will result in me finally being published.
The possibility of being published is a real one once again. I am submitting my work again after forty years of being afraid of rejection. I have been asked to write on a certain topic with the possibility of seeing it in print. If I am rejected I will take it as a lesson to change the things that need to be changed and use the criticism constructively and submit again. Over and over if necessary, I'm not afraid of rejection any more.
So this blog will be devoted to those of us aging alone, parents that are estranged and with a comedic twist I will tell the stories of the mean girl gangs at 55+ Active communities. I knew they existed because I used to visit someone quite often and was astounded by the immaturity. I figured I could handle it because I wouldn't want to hang out with anyone anyway. I love my life and I love my solitude. These mean girls are ruthless and cruel. I can handle it but my god, the lengths they will go to in their jealousy and insecurity. I feel sorry for women who aren't strong enough to stand up to them. This is for the other 98%.
It's also for the 27% and growing population of parents estranged from their children who never wanted the estrangement. I have lived every scenario in the Cruel Estrangement Guide's Handbook for Parents of Estranged Adult Children. I feel compelled to share with as many parents as I can that there is nothing you can do. No hoops you can jump through. No rules made for you that you were never told about. NOTHING will end the estrangement until your adult child or grandchild wants it to end. I need to repeat that. Nothing you do will end it until your adult child or grandchild wants to end it. In many cases even if they do it will never repair the damage done. Nothing. If you run out of things they want you may never hear from them again either.
This is for estranged parents and those of us aging alone. I have found it's impossible for me to seperate the two.
If you feel you are the only parent going through this you need to stop thinking that right now. If you are aging alone and need a friend, you've got a friend in me. When you realize there are less and less days in your future than in your past you need to make every day as joyful as you can. You deserve that, just like every other person on this planet. Consider this, if your adult child or grandchild does come looking for you in the hope of reconciliation do you want them to find you in a puddle on the floor? Drowning in despair and depression? Or happy and enjoying the one life you have?

Now I am off to celebrate my Birth Day! I wasn't a perfect parent but I tried and they made it to adulthood. Many people don't.

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https://agingsoul.com/2024/04/30/and-that/

And that…….was all she wrote. Visit the post for more.

https://agingsoul.com/2024/04/17/for-a-dancer/

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https://agingsoul.com/2024/03/25/plot-twist/

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http://agingsoul.com/2024/03/24/honesty-boundaries-and-bs/
http://agingsoul.com/2024/03/24/honesty-boundaries-and-bs/

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Day 18 There’s a spiritual belief that when your world seems insane and out of kilter you should just sit still for three days. That’s supposedly how long it takes the universe to get right side up again.…

http://agingsoul.com/2024/03/11/happiness-is-a-warm-friend/

Day 18 My guardian animal There’s a spiritual belief that when your world seems insane and out of kilter you should just sit still for three days. That’s supposedly how long it takes the universe to get r…

The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman’s love with no intention of loving her………
……..Bob Marley

https://agingsoul.com/2024/03/04/love-means-caring-until-the-end/

Love means sticking around until the end I remember all the times I had to look death in the face knowing that death was going to win. I’ve been feeling the same feelings lately. Death makes me angry. I accepted my own mortality and made …

He's more than a big deal, I'd be lost without him. Dogs have a way of making the world a kinder, gentler place. He's the best person I know.

https://agingsoul.com/2024/02/20/the-64000-question/

The $64,000 question My chicken purse I wish I still had it Man makes the money but money never made a man I ruminated on that for a few days and then considered what makes the woman? It’s not money either. The handful…

https://agingsoul.com/2024/02/12/be-safe-out-there/

Be safe out there I stopped questioning why people come in and out of my life long ago.I know now the reason eventually shows itself. There’s always a reason. Seriously though, some people need to go ahead and revea…

https://agingsoul.com/2024/02/03/have-a-nice-day/

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Not long ago everywhere I looked I saw black or grey feathers they seemed to be circling where I lived. I'm looking for them, I could use some help.

Don’t give up.
Great things take time.

Help along the highway that is aging alone in America. And loving every minute!

Retired not Expired I love blogging. I should have started sooner but nevertheless I am here now. Again. The domain and hosting sites make it sound so easy. They lie. I’ve thrown out and started over a few times. I didn’t like the name I chose or anything I had written for that matter.I have been blocked for quite ...

https://agingsoul.com/

24/01/26/vulnerability-as-we-age/

Retired not Expired I love blogging. I should have started sooner but nevertheless I am here now. Again. The domain and hosting sites make it sound so easy. They lie. I’ve thrown out and started over a few times. I didn’t like the name I chose or anything I had written for that matter.I have been blocked for quite ...

Kind words can change someone's world. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just give it your best and never stop trying.

Just try kindness

This is good advice ❤️
(author unknown)

Listen more and write the stories down. One day they will be gone ❤️