Trina McNeilly

If we do not welcome beginnings on the edges of our endings, then we will be beholden to the ending. Left with a wondering that never allows the soul to rest.

I wrote these words in 2014 and am blogging about them again nearly a decade later over on Substack. Link in profile if you’d like to explore endings and beginnings.

cameras never catch it.

This room. I had two homes growing up, the one I’ve shared in books and blogs and this one pictured right here—the local church. I attended youth group every week in this very room. It’s where I fell in love with Jesus, where I was discipled, and where I grew in faith and calling. Being able to minister to woman and encourage them to care for the health of their souls in this very special place, alongside my friends, was a great gift from God that I’ll treasure forever. is always my fave and this year was tops!

A few pics of people I love and of the fun of the weekend. Friendships old and new. Friends who challenge me (to the point of me almost jumping out of that plane). Rooms full of women in love with Jesus and hungry for more of Him. It’s so important, more than ever, that we gather together to grow in faith, to connect (eye to eye) with each other, to encourage each other and praise our amazing faithful miracle working God!

The last photo is one I candidly snapped of two people I love very much (mentors, lifelong friends, pastors, family). I wanted to capture the moment because to me it’s a picture of faithfulness. I’ve watched these two model faithfulness since they were teens, beginning in the room I posted in the first picture. And here they stand in the same house, some 30 years later, leading the church beautifully.

The thing about siblings is that you not only share a name but also an origin story. And although you may be extremely different (which we are) there are a lot of sames. Same laugh. Same scnick snacking. Same sense of humor. Same pain. Same stories. Same parents.

We’ve lived through some pretty wild things that often tear families apart but somehow by the grace of God, and lots of humor, we’ve weathered it together. In this season I’m more grateful than ever for the support and unconditional love of my brother and sister.

This is what we do! 🤌🏻🦞

I love you JJ and Amy!
Love,
The bossy one

This is Abby, and a few years ago she took a chance and reached out to me, after reading my book. She wondered if I would ever consider an internship. I hadn’t really thought about it, but apparently God had.

Abby came along just as I was launching , writing and planning an out of state move. There is no way I could have managed without Abby’s help during that season. I’m beyond grateful for the time, creativity, organization and support she brought to !

Yesterday we met for the first time IRL (so fun after all of the FaceTiming from IL & IN) and we talked for hours about life, work, the Holy Spirit, travel and the Royals (that’s what you get if you work with me). We have a lot of the same interests: :)

You guys, you never know who God might connect you with or put in your path. He’s knows what He’s doing!

I’m so glad Abby and I both took a chance on each other.

Thanks for being on , Abby!!! You are such a lovely soul!

Lovely One, do you need this reminder? I do. As a recovering codependent my gauge has always been “What did I do?” “What should I have done?” “What could I do next time to avoid this?” As someone who is 100% for ownership and personal responsibility (I have an entire section in titled “OWN”) I’m all for owning my own behavior. But if someone is mean, unkind, etc. . . . that’s is on them.

In my pain I have wondered . . . maybe I’m just not a very lovable person?

Have you ever wondered that too?

Perhaps you are not unlovable; Perhaps, they are unloving.

In our process of OWNERSHIP it’s important to take responsibility, but we also must not mistake this for a false responsibility. True ownership does not blame anyone it assigns correct responsibility. They chose to use to those hurtful words. I choose not to take hurtful words to heart and blame myself, instead I choose not to engage, I choose a boundary.

We feel powerless when we feel we don’t have a choice, but everything is a choice. When we begin to see everything as a choice we begin to overcome (more in the book).

If you have someone difficult in your life (I’ll let you define that for yourself) then chances are things can get amped up during this season. Please don’t blame yourself. Please try your best to “practice” boundaries. I’m practicing too.

I find it important to talk about these things during the holidays because it can be an especially hard season. I don’t want to be a kill joy (I want you to experience more peace and joy—I want to experience it too!), but this is part of my story and I know it’s someone else’s too. Whoever you are, I want you to know you are not alone, and that hope, peace, and joy are available to you, through Jesus Christ, even in the hard and healing!

XO. Trina

Some people are in your life for a season & some God gifts you for the whole of your journey. is a lifelong-er. She came into my life when I was a wannabe rebel in the 8th grade blaring heavy metal hair bands (don’t worry I burned those cassettes IYKYK). She & became my small group leaders for my high school years and I would not be the person I am today if it were not for those two awesome human beings. They mentored me, believed in me, confronted me (remember that time I wouldn’t talk to you for like a month, Erin?), and helped me to know Jesus in such a real way.

I have so many fun and crazy memories with Erin. She’s a magical mix of silly and serious. An imaginative creative who introduced a 9th grader to the likes of Kipling and Tozer. I have no doubt that my love of writing, reading, imagination, and creativity was greatly influenced by Erin. 🤍💫

Today, Erin was in Nashville to GET A DOG (she’s the friend I send animal reels to)—she recently moved from Rockford, too, and we are never home at the same time—so today was such a treat. Nothing like spending time with a friend who shares so many of your same stories and who hugs you like your home.

I wish we had more time today, Erin. I love you!
Love, Tink

P.S. Erin is the friend I write about in Chapter 17—Talk About the Things You Can’t Talk About (my fave chpt btw)—in

Don’t believe everything you think! 🙇‍♀️Whether you realize it or not, your thoughts are leading you. Today, mine were leading me down very familiar paths of . . .

Overwhelm
Depression
Self-pity (yuck)

My familiar pattern of dealing with hard things is not to deal with them. To let my thoughts SPIRAL until I’m basically worn out, frozen, and feeling sorry for myself—hungry for a cheeseburger and just enough energy to collapse on the couch and watch a show. 🍔🛋️

Familiar paths, however, don’t bring the change that we long for.

The Bible, so wonderfully, tells us that WE CAN LEAD every thought captive into the obedience of Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). It also tells us WE CAN FIX OUR THOUGHTS on what is beautiful, including every glorious work of God (Philippians 4:8). This means our thoughts shouldn’t lead us; we should lead them.

⭐️ I might not be able to fix or change difficult situations in my life, but I can fix and change my thoughts! ⭐️

⚡️If you don’t like where your thoughts are leading you, today—YOU can lead them! ⚡️

I avoided McDonald’s and the couch. 🙌🏼Instead I stood under the water and prayed (laying out my feelings to go God and then making a decision not to let them lead me), put a dress on and headed to a coffee shop to write. I might have lost time today, but with the help of the Holy Spirit I redeemed what I could and am getting on with my day.

It’s never too late to lead your thoughts and redirect your day! ☔️🙇‍♀️🧠🏃🏼‍♀️☀️

If this resonates, I’d love to share more with you in my new book (on sale via the 🔗 link in my profile).

xo. T

🎉And the winner of the Books, Bag, and Bonus $$$ Bundle is…🎉

Daisy!

🎁BUT EVERYONE GETS A GIFT🎁If you entered but didn’t win the big bundle of goodies, we’ve got you covered. Every author has kindly offered to send you a free gift over the next few weeks as a thank you for entering and a way to get to get to know you, so watch your inbox for 12 little gifts heading your way.

Daisy won 13 faith-building books from bestselling authors, a leather tote from BraveWorks, and a $100 Amazon gift card. Congratulations, friend!

🫶🏻Thank you to everyone who entered the giveaway and if you missed this round, get a few of my freebies through the link in my bio!🔗⬆️

Do you love books, bags and bonus cash?? Who doesn’t! 📚👜 💵

I’ve teamed up with 12 inspirational authors and for this faith-building giveaway and we’re throwing in a $100 Amazon gift card just for funzies. 🎉🥳🎉

This is your chance to win 13 faith-based books, a beautiful leather tote, AND a $100 Amazon Gift Card. I know, it’s wild! And even though there’s only one books, bag, and bonus $$ bundle winner, you’ll still get something just for entering!
Every author has kindly offered to send you a free gift over the next few weeks as a thank you for entering and a way to get to know you. 💗

ENTER THROUGH MY LINK IN BIO 🔗 (before October 23!).

We’re giving you up to 25 entries (YES, that’s 25 chances to win!)

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

Two weeks ago ❤️

God says and then we say! I needed this today, and I’m certain I’m not the only one. This passage has been dear to me over two decades. Today, I saw something very important that I hadn’t seen before (God’s Word is LIVING—it’s alive and active. This means we can read a passage for decades and STILL the Holy Spirit can reveal something new—and give us a NOW word).

This particular passage has gotten me through very difficult times when my circumstances were bleak. Where I could not see any way out or through. When I had lost certainties and support. When I felt abandoned and alone. I couldn’t fit the verse leading into these, but it pretty much says to be free from the love of money and be content with your current circumstance and then it goes into saying God himself says, “I will not in ANY WAY fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support.”

I WILL NOT (He says this 4x and then ends with an ASSUREDLY NOT).

The question we might not be able to say out loud, but pings in our soul is . . .

If _____________ left me;
If _____________ left me without support;
If _______________ let me down . . .
Will you leave me God?

HE WILL NOT! ASSUREDLY NOT!

My life is testimony to this . . . over and over again. Relationally and financially.

Today, I’m needing to know this in a different facet. And when the Holy Spirit brought me back to this treasure, this testimony of God’s faithfulness, Here is what I saw . . .

GOD HIMSELF SAYS . . . .

Then it ends with WHAT WE SAY . . .

“So WE take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly SAY, The Lord is my Helper; I will not be seized with alarm [I will not fear or dread or be terrified].”

Anytime I see “SAY” in the Bible I speak it out lout and “say it” for myself.

Feeling forsaken, afraid, without security?

Let your faith rise with what God Himself says and then by what you yourself say: The Lord is my helper, I will not fear or dread or be terrified.

P.S. I’m back to “saying” Psalm 91 daily . . . it’s another beautiful passage where we can “Say” of the Lord, You are my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on You I lean and rely, and in You I [confidently] trust!

xo. T

“My whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your service.”

What a lady.

I’m so inspired by the service, strength, and dignity of Queen Elizabeth II.

Does anyone else feel like this will bring a major shift globally?

Thank you Queen Elizabeth for your service to your kingdom, the commonwealth, and the world.

Hi Again! 👋How are you lovely friends? I feel a little unsure of my footing in posting after a long break from social. Actually, I’m keen to find new footing in my online life (more on that later). For now, I wanted to say hello. Hi! Hi! Hi! And share a photo from summer. I didn’t take a ton because I was doing my very best to live in the moments (which is not so easily done when our brains are now wired to think in squares rather than real life). This is my Ella girl and me in Chicago someone in my favorite month of July. We had a few hours and filled our time at Eataly, the Nordstrom Anniversary sale, and gazing at the architecture and water.

How was your summer? Any favorite memories?

Lovely Friends… I’m taking a break. I write about the health and care of our souls and I’d be a fool if I didn’t care for my own soul and then sell you a book on how to care for yours.

I believe breaks from social media are not only wise but necessary—for the sake of your spirit, soul, and body. For the sake of focus. For the sake of relationships. For the sake of learning to think well. For the sake of LIVING life.

I have shared content online since 2008 (earlier even, if we count Xanga 😂) and I believe I am properly burned out (This is not a word I use flippantly. I take words very seriously, you know). My focus is garbage. I feel numb creatively. I need direction. None of these things can be found or repaired online.

This summer I plan to nourish my soul (and body which has taken a beating from chronic stress) with anything and everything that ignites awe and wonder (God! Nature! Fiction! Writing for the sake of writing! Personal Growth books for growth rather than research. Swimming. Riding my bike. Ice cream. Watering plants. Trips. Family. Friends. Laughter.).  

I’m not exactly sure when I’ll be back. August or September, perhaps.

Please make sure you’re an email friend (trinamcneilly.com to get on my list) as that is where I’ll share any updates and info first (it’s my fave way to communicate). You may see an IG story or two from time to time from someone on my team. But today, will be my last day posting.

If you feel worn out and like your soul (or body) needs a break and some attention. Listen—Pay attention. Take the break. And if you’d like to go further … book can help.

Happy summer. Happy soul. I’ll pop back, like Poppins ☂️ … when the winds 💨🍃change! 💫

Loads of Love 🌸

XO.T 🤍

What are you reading? Do you read more in the summer? My reading has suffered in recent months and I’ve heard I’m not alone. I especially love reading in the summer for both pleasure and personal growth. This year I’ve created a Summer Soul Reading List (trinamcneilly.com under blog) to draw from. My soul is hungry for rest, growth, inspiration, and imagination.

If your soul (your mind, will, and emotions) needs a little TLC start with and check out my other recommendations.

What’s on your summer reading list? Or what is a recent read that you loved? Fiction. Non-fiction. Faith based. Self-help. Classics. Let’s talk books in the comments!

                             

How do you feel about stillness? No really. It can take awhile to settle into stillness. We have been accustomed to avoiding it. We have been programmed (it’s true) to fill every waking second with noise (how quickly are you to pick up your phone when someone leaves the table or you are waiting in line or when you are at a stop light?).

As a society, as a whole, we are uncomfortable with stillness.

In stillness we have to keep company with ourselves. In stillness we are given an invitation to face and pay attention to what we avoid.

Sometimes it’s the nagging thoughts, the past hurts, the fear but it can also be our hopes and our dreams.

In stillness we can hear what we need to hear in order to heal, in order to grow. In stillness we hear more clearly the voice of the Spirit and the soundtrack of our souls.

I’m going for stillness this summer. Less time on screens and more time keeping company with myself. Listening to the slow sound of the trees, the melody of the birds, and the splash of water. Letting mind wander on walk. Chatting with God in the quiet spaces. Finding good company with my family and friends.

I want to hear more clearly. I want to experience more freedom. I don’t believe it comes by filling my ears with a throng of opinions, noise, and sound bites.

I understand that Father’s Day is difficult and painful for some of us. It can be painful to even acknowledge if you haven’t, yet, found healing and even sometimes after or in the process of.

Every heart aches to be fathered because we were created by a father, hard wired to be fathered.

Whatever you long for is likely what was not given to you. Even good and great fathers are not perfect. God is the only perfect father.

In my own processing I’ve been thinking about what father’s were created to provide:

Identity
Security
Provision
Time / presence
Blessing
Self-esteem / confidence
Instruction / training
Strength
Legacy / heritage

…to name a few things.

I want to celebrate fathers (I know I’m a day late) because fathers are awesome. Strong fathers are desperately needed. Father’s have the awesome responsibility and ability to point us to our true and perfect Father, God.

I’m so grateful for my husband who is a good father to our four children. Even at a very young and naive age when we were dating….I was careful to do my best to pick someone that I knew would be a great dad. In fact, I think it’s what he likes best in life… being a dad. He is not perfect and he won’t be able to meet every need of the heart of each of our children but he is a great reflection of the Father heart of God.

I’m also grateful for what my dad taught and instilled in me. He taught and modeled how to read and believe God’s word—above all else. And he gave me provision and security, in my youth, that made it easy for me to trust God as a provider.

And most of all I am grateful to my Heavenly Father who has NEVER let me down. We’ve been on a journey this past decade, where I’ve been learning what it REALLY means to find my identity, security and provision in Him. And He has not failed me. He has only blown my mind with goodness. We never outgrow being children of God and he never stops parenting us! 🤍🤍🤍🤍

If your heart aches for a father’s love and provision …please please please begin the journey of trusting God to be your perfect father. It changes everything!

Real change takes time. 🕰Desiring and longing to make change is part of the process. Observing what needs to change is part of the process. Taking action is part of the process of change. Continuing to observe and own and take action and adjust is part of the process.

Some parts are slow. Some are swift.

Some people will notice the change in you, some people won’t.

Some people will encourage and celebrate your growth. Some people will fight you and be threatened by it.

I want to encourage you, friends. Just as I’m encouraging myself, in the Lord, today. To just keep going! Don’t give up! You’re doing a great job! It’s all about the process!

Also…sometimes change looks like rest. If you need one, take it. It’s not lazy. It can be incredibly informative and transformative. It can be a superboost. 🚀

Whether you find yourself a tortoise 🐢 or a hare 🐇 just keep moving in the direction of growth. Don’t give up. You are not alone. If you are in Christ, you are a new creature, regenerated. The work is actually done. You just get to walk out the process of renewing your mind and learning to live kingdom minded.

⚡️My book is on sale for only $13.99 today. Link in bio⚡️Don’t go through change alone!

                               

Grandma Hilda was the photo on que when I entered the kitchen this morning. Never mind the messy counter and dark lighting (the internet is not real). I leaned over to make my decaf oatmilk Nespresso with collagen (😂) and froze. I didn’t put this photo on rotation (my mom has been unknowingly been adding photos to my frame). I was seeing her and I could smell her. 💫 Coffee. Strong coffee. It was the coffee pot, next to the Nespresso machine, warm with Folgers. Piping hot as she took it.

Sometimes I have these moments where I know the veil is thin. Where I’m not just carrying a lost loved one in my heart or seeing them in the shape of my hands; I sense their nearness. I often wonder if it means they are in that moment cheering me on in the great cloud of witness or praying for me with direct access to the Father.

Yesterday was crap (again the internet is not real) and I could have used a chat with GG (as we called her once she became a great grandma). I needed her wisdom. Her assurance. Her empathy. Her prayers. Her stiff upper lip-ness.

I made a hard decision.

Today, in the thinness of the veil I heard what I needed to hear. She’d always raise her eyebrows, close her eyes, tilt her head and give you a stare that meant … this means business. But then she’d finish with her mega-watt smile.

Chin up.
I jolly well know this isn’t easy.
You did the right thing.
He will keep you in perfect peace when your mind is stayed upon him.
Carry on.
God is our father.

And a few other things that I’ll keep for myself.

I miss you GG but I’m glad you are free and in the presence of our Lord Jesus. You continue point me towards him! 💫

If you’ve read or this is the grandma I write about.

I’ve been quiet. I’m dealing w/ a long term personal issue that is exhausting (among many other things). My energy is for my family and for taking care. My body is feeling it. Also, I’m kind of (well, not kind of.. I am) burnt out from online life (more on that in an upcoming email, hope your an email friend). I’ve been doing this since 2007-ish. But I’m here today for the one!Whoever you are. There is some-one (like me) that needs encouragement today. Some maybe many-ones that need to know they are not alone.

I woke up with my very best …. Thank you God but also feeling depressed and lonely. I got out in the sun to walk & talk w/ God. And he led me to the ♥️ 🌳 heart-leaf trees.

I felt guilty for feeling alone. God is w/ me & I feel his prensece. I have a husband and children. I have an amazing new community—I pinch myself that God put me in this place! But my personal battle is what feels isolating.

Under the ♥️🌳God gave me a quiet invitation to come under his love. To rest under the covering of his love. I don’t have to try to earn it, strive for it, perform for it, long for it, I just have to rest in it. The same is true for YOU.

I went on to a dr’s appt for myself and in an unexpected conversation I mentioned my personal issue and this doctor said … I know what your going through. And shared about his life and similar dynamics. He proceeded to say … it’s very isolating, this type of situation 😭 He talked with me for 30 mins about all of this (which had nothing to do with my appt).

God is the God who sees. And he will send people to you, even if just in passing.

Maybe I am that person for you today. Although I’m not at liberty to share specifics at this time, just know you are not alone. God wants you to know you are not alone, even if it feels that way.

Whatever you are facing is hard. It’s heavy. It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating. It’s, maybe even, devastating.

You will make it. You are loved. You are not alone.

Find a tree to sit under & head him whisper, I’m covering you with my love.

Also, if you have book read the “Talk About the Things You Can’t Talk About” chapter. xo

What are you waiting on? Something to begin. Something to end. The life you’ve always wanted. The life you didn’t sign up for.

⏳When we are young, time goes too slow. As we age, time goes too fast. ⌛️

I’ve come to realize that in my seasons of living in extended periods of waiting, I often wasn’t really living. I was existing. My existence was all about trying to wait. Wait things out. Wait things away. Wait for change.

It took me quite some time to realize that waiting can be (dare I say, should be) active. (Well, this is another post in itself. So let me introduce that thought 💭 and share more on it next week).

🕐Lovely One, you can trust God with your time. He is the one who designed time. He does not live within the confines of time. He is the one who can redeem time. He is the one who is at work, while you wait. 🕦

🕰Check out Chapter 21, Trust God With Your Time in my book Your Soul for more! (Link in bio to get your copy)

You know that tight feeling? When your mind feels crowded and your emotions feel like they might overflow out your eyeballs 👀? I thought so. Me too! Here’s 3 quick (and free) things you can do to create more space in your soul for peace and joy!

How do you create space when life feels overwhelming and tight?

# propelwomen

🙏My prayer for you today is that you accept yourself right where you are, as you are, in your process of healing. I pray that your lessons from the land of yesterday serve you well, that you see hope in the country of tomorrow and that today you live fully and abundantly.

We can live but once in today 🕐 Be at home with yourself 🏠🤍

More in (grab your copy by clicking link in bio)

——
This quote (the words in the image) goes in my fave sentences I’ve written list. Probably because I’m a person who has a hard time standing on that bridge—staying in today. That is why I’m passionate about helping women find beauty and peace in joy in their own everyday lives. I’ve spent a lot of time traveling between the land of yesterday and the country of tomorrow. Too much time in the past and I encounter depression. Too much time in the country of tomorrow and I’m joined by anxiety. Can you relate?

Today is where experience peace and joy.

xo . Trina

Good Morning, Friends! Have you ever found yourself navigating a life you didn't sign up for? If so ... today's podcast episode is for you. I'm chatting with Lisa Walker Appelo and you can listen here: https://www.trinamcneilly.com/podcast/40/

I’m just gonna leave this one right here … ⛅️ This one was a hard one for me to accept. Many times we are just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I get it. If a shoe has dropped, if the floor has fallen out from under you, you’ll do anything to try to protect yourself…you’ll even try to cope by preparing for disappointment.

But I can tell you from experience…this does not work. And it’s no way to live.

Here is what you can rest in today…Jesus is our hope. He is our anchor. He stands in the gap. And the Holy Spirit will ever so gently show you how to begin to hope again. In kindness, He’ll reveal when you return to that unhealthy coping mechanism.

If this resonates…please take 30 seconds to read Proverbs 23:18 and let it marinate in your soul.

More in my book 👇🏼

NEW PODCAST TODAY: HEALING OUT LOUD – OVERCOMING GRIEF AND SHAME WITH Sandi Brown & Michelle Caulk
https://www.trinamcneilly.com/podcast/39/

How well do you manage stress & overwhelm? Take my fun
1-min QUIZ to find out! 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼https://quiz.tryinteract.com/ #/621fdef238d5bc0018fff5f5