Zambia Love Guru

REMOVING THE LOG FROM YOUR EYE

One of the easiest things to do is point the finger at other people, he did this, she did that etc. But once you see that a new person in your life did not enter with good intentions, why do you keep them around? You want to see how far they can go? Most bad things people doesnt mean they want to hurt you. People are selfish, and they do things that will bring them pleasure; you being hurt in the mix of it all is just collateral damage. When people show you who they are, you have to believe, stop trying to change them.They will only get worse, but your “good heart” always ignore it.

When I was in college, I dated a guy who had two children. Much to my dislike, he brought them over to my boarding house with him one evening and left them there while he went "shopping for food.” He stayed gone from 19hrs to 23hrs!!!. What did I say upon his return? Nothing! Guess what? This happened again and again until I just said NO! I was angry at him when I should have been slapping myself. NOTHING WILL CONTINUE UNLESS YOU ALLOW IT TO. He took advantage of me because I would often just ignore things that would bother me or make empty threats. Was it right for him to use me as a babysitter while he was running around God knows where? Absolutely not, but it was my responsibility to advocate for myself. To be my LAWYER and speak out. If you remove yourself from the situations that cause you strife, guess what will happen? Life will improve! It isn’t magic, it’s common sense.

500 LIKES thankyou ladies. what issues would you like me to tackle for you on this page? comment below and dont forget to like and share!
cheers,

ALEBIKAPO SHINGA? WHAT IS HE PUTTING IN? - part 2
Hello lover,
I want to get into the concept of value. Why is it that there are women who constantly date and marry men below standard but living in the same city there are women who do nothing but date men of high status? Are you two going to different parts of the same town? Is your flirting not as strong as hers? Do you KNOW how to flirt? Do you even go outside? They manage to find high rollers doesnt matter if its in livingstone chipata mansa even shangombo and some of you can’t even find a man in Lusaka or kitwe? Value. Each one of you prides yourself on having standards, in theory, but in practice do you demand your worth?

Tell me, to become your boyfriend, takes what?

To get you to open up and talk about your life, takes what?

To get you to spread your legs open and let him inside of you, takes what?

Alo! before you start day dreaming of what amazing things a man has to do to get all these things from you lets look at the last guy you dated.
What did he ACTUALLY do to win any of those things from you? Be honest. write it down. look at it and come back for part 3 to know what to do with it.

-end of part 2
*note- i realise the other post was so long so will try to keep it short and sweet.
* like and share this page. lets get 5 shares and i post part 3
* if you have an urgent problem lets work through it. hit message on top of the page.
.

ALEBIKAPO SHINGA? HOW MUCH IS HE PUTTING ON THE TABLE? I got this text some time back:
"mwandi I can say my ex was basically destitute and homeless. he was working a useless job but not making enough money for even groceries. I supported this man, ba Guru, for over 1year 6 months i kept him in my house and i paid all the bills and just encouraged him in life. Suddenly from nowhere, he told me that our relationship wasn’t going to work. I just dont understand these fima men. they don’t know the value of a good woman until it’s too late because now, can you imagine he’s starting calling me. smh."
so i responded a week later: "Did you ever respond to this ex?"

Her: "Never mind. We’re taking it slow and seeing how it goes."

Me: "Manje If you say you have so much value like you say then why are you back with a destitute dude who cant keep himself let alone you?"

Her: zeeee....

Lovers,
Are women forced to date broke men, losers, men without a future, no serious income that you cant do anything sensible with and various other struggle men because there is a real lack of options?
Or maybe its because these men are marketing themselves as if they are more than what they really are.
Manje Sistele, is the question "what can this man bring to the table" not a requirement for your love? when you are going out shopping or for lunch lr even ku tuma committee meetings you are quick to ask your friends "ulebikapo shinga". Why, Mukashana, are you checking what this guy is bringing to your table. Do you even check to see if a man even owns a blanket before you date him or is money, success, and all that not as important as a man’s heart? Money isn’t everything, fact. But just know that a POOR GUY CAN TREAT YOU JUST AS BADLY AS A RICH GUY, but if you’re going to go through all those growing pains of a relationship why would you want it to be with a man that doesn’t bring anything to your life other than d@!k and discussions about man-u or politics?

"i want a woman who loves me for me" , a favourite bu****it sentence used by such men.
My sister sit down and lets talk about money.
LET NO-ONE LIE TO YOU. The majority of relationship problems come from finances. It doesnt matter if you’re a woman with a little or a lot of money, whether you like it or not if you join with a man who doesn’t have s**t, you will have arguments much more often than if you are someone who is stable in his career.
That woman above who texted me, had an ex-boyfriend who most likely broke up with her because he got tired of feeling judged and nagged for his lack of funds. The real reason women get stuck dealing with these broke men is that most women present themselves as very low maintanance in the beginning of the relationship. You are there pretending to be a simple girl who is not demanding (because in yr mind only mahule are demanding). So you go for "tuma walks", and you dont mind going for cheap meals at hungry lion (i think hungry lion is delicious by the way, just 2 cheap to be romantic). "money doesnt matter for me etc, what matters is the heart and love", thats what you tell yourself. Manje, after you become comfortable in your relationship, you realise that you actually do want that romantic treatment as well. Yes, you want flowers on valentinesday and any other random day in a month, you want to be taken to beautiful expensive restaurants with candles and s**t. When you see these girls on facebook recieve a new car with a chima big ribbon as a present on their birthday you secretly wish it was you. You look at your husband or boyfriend and he cant even pay all the house bills alone without you contributing. I remember a friend who had argued with their husband and they hadnt been talking to each other for 6days... the idiot only broke the silence to pinda her share of the water and rental bill. .Mwai chipisha mami.
People claim money doesn’t matter, it does. Your attitude towards that man and his attitude towards you will turn hostile after months or years of realizing that you will never get treated, spent on, or spoiled like other women who are not even half the woman you are.

WHAT IF WE MAKE THIS THE STANDARD: Only date providers. Only enter into relationships with men who you are 100% sure can provide for you. No time wasting on people who cant provide for you. That way if your relationship actually stands the test of time and goes further, then you already know that you’re marrying a provider. Even if you can provide for yourself, madam educated, isn’t that an intelligent way to ensure that your future isn’t a struggle? ba "independent" women can i hear an amen? pantu i hope u know you that you are the common targets and victims of such broke men,ka?

When you’re young, you can afford to grow together, but when you’re a woman in her mid-twenties going up with amazing things going for herself, why talk to guys who can’t match you step by step? Don’t answer me with “in my town there’s only broke men” because statistically, that’s impossible. Don’t answer me with “men lie about what they have,”because all that tells me is that you don’t date properly or investigate their lifestyle.
Dont get me wrong, This isn’t against men who are preparing for their final tertiary exams or entrepreneurs who are actively working towards something, this is about YOU dealing with men who are around 27-30yrs old and above, who still don’t know what they want to do with their lives. A hard working man who is pushing until he can stand up in life is not the same as a destitute looking someone to step on so that he can stand up in life. Yet, you confuse the man that’s working and saving money towards his business with one that simply has a business idea. These guys know what sounds good, and they will lie to you like they’re one meeting away from making it big. Kaleza its a lie! I know a woman who got into business with a friend, got her to invest over k50000 and instead of working on the business, used the money to FLY diva style to visit her dude a few times in southafrica and even invested in his "business idea". The business was fake and by the time she realised it, he was already getting married to another woman. If every woman on earth decided not to screw a man unless he had something, men would step their game up. Lady lovers, The reason they don’t step up is because so many ladies are so terrified and they ALWAYS give in to the fear of the risk of losing the d@!k and its owner. For them, even a poor man, an inconsistent man, an abusive man, a man that beats them or just a plain old average man is better than being a single woman…ITS TIME TO REPROGRAM YOUR BRAINWASHED MIND AND UNLEARN THIS LIE... So here are the steps you need to take to get your mindset right:.......end of part 1.
price of part 2= 20 shares.
ladies if you have found wisdom in the message above; share and when we have 20shares, i post part 2.
*if you have an urgent problem please hit the message button at the top of the page and i will help you work through it."

Hello, Lover,
Relationships are so confusing to figure out. Stop wasting time and get serious strategies that get you serious results. No witchcraft, no fasting, no b.s.; Just real deal advice to get you the goals you want in that relationship.
Interesting? like and share this page now. lets get it to 50 likes and I start sharing.
*P.S. if you have an urgent problem and you need immediate help, hit the email or message button for privacy at the top of the page or comment below.