JP Life, Health & Wellness Coach

Existence is pain,
Pain is gain,
Therefore to exist is to gain.

Bear with me, this will be a long post, More than welcome to scroll past if you wish, I don't mind, if you decide to read the whole thing, you're mad 😅 no, seriously, if you do read all this, thank you for taking the time to do so ❤️

Firstly, this is not a sympathy post, not me looking for people to feel sorry for me, etc. It's just me putting my thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc into words, not only to clear my head and help myself, but also, I hope it helps others realise that they're not alone, to feel more inclined to open up about how they feel inside, to talk about it with someone, to work on feeling better and ultimately inspires them to go achieve everything they dream of no matter how crazy it may sound to others, to realise that they matter just as much as anyone else does and that no matter how s**t life may seem, no matter how deep in rock bottom you are, there is always at least one positive for every negative and that when in rock bottom, the only way is up. To be successful in life, I truly believe that you have to hit rock bottom, whether it's once, twice or multiple times. Eventually it will all click, you'll have learnt so much, built so much strength, adapted to and overcome every challenge that's faced you and be fully ready to rise all the way to the top. The hardest of times develop the best and strongest versions of ourselves, we just have to allow that version to burst out of us and take over.

I'm a strong individual, I know I am, the amount that I've experienced/gone through, etc in these 25 and a bit years that I've been around and the fact that I'm still fighting & still determined tells me and shows me that I am. However, even the strongest of us have hard times, even ones we look up to, in my case people such as The Rock, Kevin Hart, Ellen DeGeneres, Oprah Winfrey and countless others that I could name. In fact, many believe that it is the strongest of individuals who experience the most hardship and challenges in life, a test of their strength and determination, all which only makes them stronger and better each time. I could give you many many examples of things that these 4 have experienced and overcome as well as many other people that I look up to and be here for ages explaining what each example means to me and the impact it has had on me. I could give you many examples of things that I have personally overcome and that have made me a stronger person but I'd be here for ages. If you are looking for inspiration to overcome something yourself and not sure where to look, I'd be more than happy to help and can share any of the stories of the people I mentioned and how they inspired and helped me 😊

Like I said, I am a strong individual, however of course, I've had my low points too. I've spoken of some briefly before either in posts or with people individually. Recently I've had a lot happen which is what has inspired this post. I haven't really spoken about it fully with anyone or if I have, it's only been a select few and even still, it hasn't been in full detail. Honestly, this has been the lowest I've felt in a long time and it's the worst situation I've been in since leaving home just over 5 years ago. I had to leave home back then because if I hadn't, I honestly wouldn't be here writing this now, without going into it all, that's how bad things were and how bad I was feeling mentally. It was the best thing for me at the time which is proven as I'm still here today and able to talk about it all. Present day, depression has crept in a little I'll admit, thankfully however, I'm not anywhere near in the headspace that I was all those years ago.

Every new day, I tell myself the phrase I started this post with, that just because things aren't as good as they could be right now, doesn't mean that they won't ever be. I tell myself that things will get better, to trust they will, to keep going, to stay determined and strong and also to be thankful as things could be even worse than they are. Yes I have issues going on right now, but they are minor compared to the issues that others are suffering. I've always been of the view and will always be that there's always someone worse off than you are. No matter how bad your situation, there's someone out there who would do anything to be where you are at that moment in time. It realy puts things into perspective, gives you a reality check and makes you appreciate what you have. Even if it seems like it's not much to you, to someone else, that's everything. So, even though I'm going through some s**t right now, I could be going through a hell of a lot more. Yeah sure it might be far from ideal, but regardless, I'm thankful for the situation that I'm in. Not only do I know it's sculpting me into a stronger individual and taking me on my way to bigger and better things down the road, but it helps me keep in check and realise that no matter my current situation, there's people out there that I can help and that are looking up to me, wishing they were where I am.

Despite my current situation externally, everyday I'm feeling better internally and so far, today is the best I've felt over the past few weeks hence me feeling good enough to be writing this. It's a slow process, but anything worthwhile takes time, especially your mental health! I'm not where I want to be yet but that's okay! It's okay if you're not 100% the next day, next week, month, etc. All of us have our own individual body clocks and work on different times and at different paces. Just because your friend is happy and at their best, doesn't mean you have to be also.

The week of may be over but that doesn't mean that the awareness for mental health should stop, it never should. Mental health affects every single one of us in different ways. Whether it's depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, BPD, OCD, PTSD, stress or the countless other forms of mental health issues, there's something that affects each of us as an individual and those around us too. Whatever it may be, it's a constant battle within and the longer we ignore it, push it aside or pretend it's not there, the worse it will become. The only way to overcome a battle is to face it. That's the first step, to face it and to accept that it's there. After that, depending on the "opponent" there's then different ways to slowly fight against it and overcome it. It may be that you never fully overcome it and that's okay too, but that doesn't mean that you can't learn how to deal better with it, understand how it affects you and know what to do if it ever creeps back up and becomes too much to bear again.

You also shouldn't beat yourself up or feel bad if you're in this situation, something else I've had to tell myself. Most that know me, know me as the super bubbly, positive, happy, cheery, friendly, comedic guy that's making people smile and laugh and that is me, that's who I love to be and what I love doing. However, that doesn't mean that I'm always that guy. I'm human, the same as the rest of us, I have bad days too. We're all allowed bad days, we're all allowed to not feel ourselves, we're all allowed time for ourselves, to heal, repair, re-evaluate, or whatever it is we need to do. We're allowed to not feel ourselves for a bit and to not be how people usually see us. I realised and had to tell myself this all those years ago which was one of the things that influenced my decision to make things better for me. It's okay to be selfish sometimes, after all, if you don't look after yourself, how are you able to help others? Pre-flight, one of the things they tell you is that in result of the oxygen masks being needed, to secure yours first before assisting anyone else with theirs. So is the same with mental health, you help yourself first, make sure you're okay and then you are okay to proceed to help others, otherwise you're not only risking injury to yourself but also to the person you're trying to help.

I mentioned that we're allowed time to ourselves and how true that is and how important it is that we realise this. I realised this a while ago however, sometimes you forget so it's good to remind yourself of just how important it is. Use this time to do whatever you need to do/want to do to help yourself relax, wind down, take away any stresses, feel better and get yourself back to feeling like you again. On that note, a lot of you may have noticed that I either haven't replied to messages or if I have, it's been very delayed replies. Firstly, I apologise that you've been waiting or are still awaiting replies from me. And I assure you that as of this morning I am starting to get back to you all and replying properly. I've just needed to take some time out for myself and although it sounds stupid to some, replying to messages sometimes can seem like a task, especially with certain mental health conditions, for me, it's been a bit because of trying to cope, I haven’t been in the right frame of mind or the best frame of mind to be messaging people, etc plus I've just needed to give myself some of my own time whereas I've neglected that in the past, I've realised how important that is. I know some people who due to different mental health issues, etc genuinely find it very challenging and arduous to relpy to messages sometimes, so instead of being frustrated, bugging for replies, complaining or expecting people to drop everything just for you, take a step back and some time to realise there may be reasons that they haven't got back to you yet, they could have and more than likely do have things going on. Also, people have their own lives anyways, so when it's a good time for you to respond or chat, it may not be a good time for them, they're going to be busy with whatever is going on in their life. They will get back to you when they can. So chill, give them time, be respectful, be supportive instead of being on the attack, being inappropriate with “jokes” or remarks or making them feel s**t about themselves or unworthy. Just be a good friend 😊

As many know, I love speaking to people, socialising with them and what I love even more is listening to people, helping them with any problems they have and offering solutions or working together to sort the situations. I love being there for people in their time of need, I love to help people to smile, laugh, feel good, do good, be positive and that’s precisely what I will continue to do up to and including my final day on this planet. I promise I haven’t been ignoring anyone, that’s not my style, I’ve just had to take some time out for me, look after myself & my mental well being. I’m not fully back to my regular self just yet, but I’m on my way there, it’s a work in progress, a day by day uphill procedure and I will get there as soon as I can and I cannot wait to feel fully like me again and full of energy, etc like I usually am after such a long time 😁

I could say a lot more as mental health, psychology, and making people happy and smile/laugh are all great passions of mine however this is already probably the longest post I’ve ever written so I’ll leave it there for now.

All I’ll say to end is:

•If you’re not okay, it’s okay, don’t listen to what others are saying around you, listen to yourself, if you need time out, take time out, you are your number one priority.
•If you’re near rock bottom or already there, don’t be disheartened, instead be glad that you know things can only go up from here. The hard times, bring out the best versions of us!
•If someone reaches out to you, don’t ignore them, do your very best to listen and help, or if you’re unable to, point them in the direction of someone who can, that’s still helping them!
•Give yourself credit for everything you have done or are currently doing. You’ve been through a lot, we all have, and whilst not everyone on the planet can recognise us all individually for this, we can congratulate ourselves on making it through and being where we are today.
•Finally, if you or anyone you know needs to speak to someone and ask advice or just wants someone to just listen to them, I am ALWAYS here and available to help in any way I can. Never feel that you’re a burden because you’re not! Like I said earlier, from this morning I will be replying properly to people as I’m in a much better headspace so what better time to send a message if you need to do so! I find joy and happiness in helping others and knowing that I’ve been able to help them be happy and smile too ☺️

If you’ve read all of this, good on you and apologies as I’ve more than likely rambled, repeated or not made sense in parts if at all! But more importantly, thank you for taking the time to read it, it means a lot and I really do appreciate it! 😊 like I said, I could say much more but I won’t, not for now at least.

I hope you all enjoy the rest of your week!

Thank you again,

BIG LOVE,

Josh ❤️💙

Morning Facebook!! 👋🏽

It’s been a while! A lot has happened and been going on but over the next couple weeks I’ll be getting myself back to posting regularly on here again!

Short and sweet one today, the more you do good, the more you feel good. But if you’re doing good just to feel good or for praise, you’re doing it wrong, period! Feeling good is not something to aim for when doing good, it should be an automatic result from doing good.

We should all be looking out for each other, helping friends, family and even strangers in any way we can to better their lives and make them happier and feel good. Don’t feel like you have to do it, you should just want to help and make people feel better!!

If you do it already, great, keep it up. If you don’t or don’t feel you do it often enough, try something today!

Doesn’t matter what it is, doesn’t matter how big or small, just go out and do something for someone that makes them happy, makes them smile and feel good.

Do Good and I promise you will Feel Good!!

Have a great day peeps!! 😁✌🏽

One decision. One choice. One thing done differently can change everything in your life.

Nothing is destined or for definite.

You have the power and the choice to make a difference, to make everything better than it already is.

It’s down to YOU.

✌🏽

LIFE IS SHORT

No matter how much we don't want to believe it, it's true, life is short. It goes by every day quicker and quicker. Have you thought to yourself that time seemed slower when you were younger than it does now? It's going faster all the time, our lives getting shorter every day. So with the short amount of time you've got, what are you doing with your life?

Truth & reality is, none of us really knows how long we've got left on this planet, we all know how long we'd like to have but unfortunately it's just not something we have control over. So, ask yourself, "Am I making the most of my time?" "Am I doing what I want, what makes me happy?"

Life's too short to play it safe!!

We all have dreams, goals, desires, aspirations that we want to achieve whilst we're alive. How many have you achieved or are you working towards achieving? Or are you too scared to go after some dreams, or think, tomorrow I'll start tomorrow. Firstly, that's a lie you're telling yourself, majority of the time, when tomorrow comes, you don't start it, you simply tell yourself the same thing again and then so on and so on. Secondly, why are you promising yourself tomorrow? It may seem a bit negative and dark to say such a thing but it's not, it's reality & we need to wake upon and see it. There is no guarantee in tomorrow for any one of us, period. Today could be your last day, imagine you knew it was going to be, the things you're doing or going to be doing, do they/will they make you happy, will you enjoy it, will you feel like you've lived life to the full and made the most of your last day? We falsely guarantee ourselves tomorrow, another day to do certain activities, a next day to start that project, to quit that crappy job and do what you really want, to travel to that place you've never been, to go see that friend you haven't seen in a long time when the truth is, we might not have tomorrow to do those things. So what choice are we left with? Have to risk it all today! Now this obviously doesn't mean that you'll be able to do every single thing you want to do in that one day, but that's where our priorities for each thing we desire comes in. Whatever is most important to us, should be our focus.

Say for example it's work, you're fed up in your job and have been for a while but it's "safe", "secure", "pays the bills" and "it's a job". Deep down though, you wish you were out pursuing your dream, whether its music, art, acting, working with animals, cooking, sports or whatever it may be, we all have different desires and passions. Yet only a very small amount are achieving them. Why? Because whilst you're "playing it safe", those others are out there taking the risks to get to where they want to be. If you've got a passion, don't let it burn and die whilst you're slumped behind that desk!! Pursue it, work hard on it, make it happen, walk the road less travelled!

"The one who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The one who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been before." - Albert Einstein

Instead of working your arse off for a tiny percentage of what you're making your boss or company, work for yourself start your own business, instead of looking at pictures of exotic destinations, work to get yourself to that destination, instead of sitting in all day, go for a run, jog, walk, instead of just texting that friend you haven't seen in a while, arrange to meet up!

If someone says you can't do something, says you're not good enough, judges you or mocks you for being different and pursuing your passion, don't let it get to you or knock you back, instead use that as fuel to push you even closer to your dream and make you even more determined to achieve it!

We only have one life, don't take it for granted, live it to the full & enjoy every single moment of it.

Don't play it safe, make today count.

How do you want to live your life? The choice is YOURS.

Happy Tuesday peeps!! 😁✌🏽

Wonderful
Outstanding
Marvellous
Adorable
Non-Replaceable

To all the women out there that I know and love and even to the ones I don’t know,

HAPPY 107th INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY!!

You’re all wonderful, amazing, important and special and deserve to know that and be appreciated.

I wish every single one of you the most amazing day.

Stay beautiful, stay powerful, stay strong, stay wonderful ❤️✌🏽

LOVE
POSITIVITY
HAPPINESS

3 of the most important things to have in life...

Everything within your life should provide these attributes towards it in order for you to grow and develop in the best way possible.

This will probably be something some of you don't want to hear or don't mind hearing it because you know it's true but find it hard to put it into action. However, if someone or something doesn't provide these attributes or qualities to you, if they don't make you feel love, encourage positivity or try and make you feel happy, they don't deserve to be in your life, period.

This doesn't matter if it's a job, a work colleague, a family member, a friend, your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, best friend, coach/mentor, the house or area you live in, a feeling you have, etc. Whatever it is, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, down, depressed, upset, unhappy, unsure or just negative in any way, CHANGE NEEDS TO HAPPEN. It needs to go and quick. The longer you leave it linger, don't deal with it and make it change, the worse it will get and the worse you will feel.

It’s important to remember though that as much as you need to make sure you keep these things out and from poisoning you, you need to make sure you in yourself are the same. If you're instilling negativity or upset into someone else's life, you are no better and don't be surprised if negative things happen to you whilst you're like this. Before you look about how others are impacting your life, take a look how you're impacting their's and ask yourself are you encouraging love, happiness and positivity? If you're not, change it. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. It all starts with YOU.

If you're providing these things to someone, not only will they be happier, you also will be and you'll find them wanting you to be a part of their life. If someone is providing these things to you, you'll want to keep them in your life, that's just how it works. Now it will be tough to cut some things or some people out of your life but in order for you to grow and be happy, you need to do it. We all want to be happy, if others want that for you, they'll encourage it also and change if they need to, if not, they got to go! Remember, always look after number 1, YOU, your happiness is most important. Negativity and hate aren't needed or wanted, in the words of one Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that!"

Export the hate, import the great! 👌🏽

Happy Feel Good Friday everyone, hope you're all having an amazing day so far!!

Josh 😎✌🏽

NEW WEEK, FRESH START!

The beginning of a new week, as whole 7 days to make a difference to your life and everyone else around you, last week’s moments & events have been and gone. Time to make new moments, new memories, time to make a change!

How positive are you feeling about today? Your mood in the first 5 minutes of when you wake up WILL affect you and your mindset for the rest of the day!

Are you feeling negative all the time and then wondering why some of your days or all of your days just feel the same, boring, monotonous, as if you haven’t achieved anything? Time for a change!!

To be positive, you need to think positive! Spread positivity everywhere and in everything you do, the more you do it and the more often, the happier you’ll become, your days will feel more rewarding and worth it. You’ll feel more productive, happier, as if you’ve achieved a lot and also you’ll have an amazing impact on everyone around you!

So are you going to let that bad day from last week get to you this week and continue to be negative? Or are you going to learn from it, focus on the positive and be the change? Nothing will change unless you make it happen, it all starts with YOU. Be the change, make a difference, spread positive vibes everywhere and watch how much better you’ll feel and how much better things will happen to you!

Happy Monday peeps!

Josh ✌🏽

2018 IS UPON US!

What a year it has been, many of you, like myself are probably looking back on 2017 and what it has brought, what we’ve gained and lost, the good times and the bad, everything and how it’s gotten us to where we are right now.

Regardless of what happened last year, and I’ve had a lot happen personally as I’m sure every single one of you reading this too have, I’m more positive about myself and life as a whole than I ever have been. Everything that’s happened, everyone who’s come into my life and left or is still a part of it, I see every single thing as a lesson. And it’s safe to say I’ve learnt a lot, learnt who I can truly trust and who I can’t, who my real friends are and the ones that were just using me for whatever benefit they could get, more of my strengths and weaknesses, some a combination of the 2. I’ve finally fully realised one of the biggest combinations of the 2 which a lot of people have told me since as far back as I can remember, that I’m too nice and to be careful as people will take advantage of that. I’m too trusting but with events from this year I’ve finally fully understood what they’ve meant and it’s a shame that some people are like that but none of us are 100% the same and you have to be careful how trusting and nice you are. These are just a few lessons I’ve learnt along the course of the year.

This is in no way a negative post but more of a reflection on what the year has brought me, what has happened in my life and what it has taught me and how it has helped me grow into who I am today and have the ability to have such a positive mindset and not let anything knock me so far off my course that I stop or crash 👌🏽

What did 2017 teach you? How has it made you who are right now? What goals did you achieve?

What are your goals for this year, 2018?

What are you hoping to achieve?

New job, new home, holiday, new car, start a family, pay off some debts? Whatever it is, we’ve all got goals we want to achieve this year, things to tick off the list.

My advice first is SET THEM! Don’t just say, make them permanent and a definite, write them down, put them in your phone, whatever. Just make it so that you can see them everyday and know how hard you are working towards achieving each of them.

And remember that no matter what happens to you over the course of the year, to be thankful for it, it’s happening for a reason, to teach you and to make you into something even better than what you’re imagining yourself to be.

There are no bad days, only character building days! Days to make you stronger, think better of yourself and others, to make you more positive and make you be able to achieve your dreams.

So aim and dream as big as you can, don’t let the haters or naysayers knock you off course, leave all baggage or negative thoughts in 2017, learn from your mistakes, keep positive and strong and go achieve all those goals/dreams you’ve set! 💪🏽

Happy New Year to you all, let’s make 2018 the best one yet! 🎉

Josh ✌🏽