Overheard at University of Northwestern
The home of the weird, wacky, wonderful, and worrisome quotes that fill our campus. Submissions welcome.
“What would it take for you to sell the kidney?”
“I’m not doing theater again, because last time they wasted my time.”
“It’s Friday, so it’s Drug Day!”
“Dude... is there something wrong with me?”
“I was like, ‘Whoa, this is turning into a musical!’”
“Why did you do that? What are you doing? Get help!”
“Don’t worry. We have a thousand auto-tuned pianos.”
-Some guy’s sleeping roommate
“Any orthodox Christian would agree that [God] is in the garden hose.”
“When he teaches, it’s like a very excited Viking trying to teach you engineering.”
“You’re the mom for the night and that is clearly NOT a good idea!”
“I’ve started stealing everybody’s things in that game. There’s no security system—you can just take anything.”
“You’re a bad Christian! Go to Bethel!”
“He has our level of smartness. He just actually has a work ethic.”
“They said ‘I’m a disgrace.’ I replied ‘You are correct.’ I don’t know this person.”
Just witnessed two guys writing haikus back and forth during final presentations. I swear, as soon as you think you’ve seen it all... 😂
“It would eat your soul?”
“It would eat my soul.”
“You’re here so much and you don’t even go here!”
“I’m a grad student. I go here every Tuesday.”
“It’s Friday.”
“You’d better read the dictionary, or we’re gonna have problems!”
15/11/2019
"I never said mine was healthier! I just said you can't claim more nerd credibility than me!"
“Let’s violate the fire code in front of as many people as possible!”
“NO! That’s illegal!”
I wish so badly that I had context for this...
“It’s okay. Your fomo doesn’t need to be satisfied right now.”
“I will murder... everything there is to murder.”
“That’s a lot of murdering!”
“How many times did I cry yesterday?”
“Three, but it’s fine.”
“You wanna come over here and have a hypothetical baby with me?”
“Sorry for bothering you.”
“You don't ever bother me.”
“Aww. That's such a sweet lie.”
“I haven’t seen you since you shaved! That’s a long time!”
“I accidentally did the splits yesterday and I’m still in a lot of pain.”
“We knew it was, like, big brain stuff.”
“I don’t have a brain. That’s the problem.”