GS Elevator Gossip

#1: People who get engaged on Valentine’s Day don’t need prenups. She can keep the Jared ring and he can keep his Xbox.

#1: Most taxi drivers understand that we'll never be friends. Uber drivers, not so much.

Millennials push $15 min wage, so McDonald's adds 2k self-serve kiosks & says with smirk: Millennials prefer a screen to human interaction.

#1: If someone has a tattoo saying, 'Only God Can Judge Me', I'm gonna prove them wrong.

#1: The vast majority of people are fu***ng stupid. So obviously, I have no interest in being popular.

Having a bad day? In 1976, Ronald Wayne sold his 10% stake in Apple for $800. Today, that's worth $77 billion.

#1: Amateurs wish for Monday off. Professionals take Friday off.

The right one is out there for everyone. Statistically, you'll probably never find them, or f**k it up when you do, but they're out there.

#1: If someone asks you a question and you don't know the answer, belittle them. It's better to be an as***le than stupid.

#1: Kids today never suffered the humiliation of their mom picking up the landline and telling them to get off the phone.

"If you're born poor, it's not your mistake. But if you die poor, it is your mistake." - Bill Gates

"CrossFit is the exact opposite of Fight Club, because the first rule of CrossFit is 'You Never Stop Talking About CrossFit.' "