Bons Psychology

While our minds are having thoughts, past thoughts or future thoughts, we miss our on what is happening in the HERE AND NOW. Mindfulness is a good tool to increase our ability to be PRESENT.

Here is a Sunday thought for you 😍

The mind and the body are not separate. They are entwined, united and affect each other. Taking care of our mental health is as important as taking care of our bodies.

✨ Halfway through the week—keep moving forward with courage and determination! ✨

Indeed, you are enough, just as you are ❤️

Talking to someone we trust about thoughts which create anxiety, stops them looping in our heads.

Putting thoughts into words and articulating them, allows them to loose some of their grasp and their power.

This happens especially if these fears are heard and validated.

Within conversation, we might see things a little bit differently, and in that connection with another person, find some soothing and reassurance.

Sadness. Many times we wish it to just go away. In this beautiful reflection, Donna helps us to see that sadness is also part of life, part of us, part of being human. Rather than push it away, let us listen to what it has to say.

Sadness came to tea last night
as she’s often done before
but I didn’t let her in this time
I stopped her at the door

“I’m off to meet with friends”, I said
“your timing isn’t right
I can’t allow your atmosphere
it’s not the place tonight”

but sadness wouldn’t take the hint
her manners lack finesse
her pace was slow and heavy
yet she kept up nonetheless

and even when I took my place
amongst my laughing friends
she squeezed herself right in-between
her boldness never ends

and I was sure my friends would see
this spectre at the feast
and somehow think me lesser
for inviting such a beast

but no, their warmth was undeterred
as if nothing was new
I think perhaps they know by now
I sometimes come as two

and even sadness seemed to glow
a lighter shade of grey
to know that she’s accepted
seemed to lighten up her day

so let your sad accompany you
don’t think her hard to bear
no need to face her all alone
just pull an extra chair.

Donna Ashworth
‘Sadness comes’

From Growing Brave 🌱

UK: https://amzn.eu/d/0h6ASuCQ
US: https://a.co/d/cboRlcn

The art is by Galya Popova

Much love to all, let us strive to be kinder to ourselves and others.

🌬️Unlock Calm: Relaxation Techniques Through Breathwork 🌬️

In the fast-paced world we live in, finding moments of peace and tranquillity can seem like a distant dream. Yet, amidst the chaos, lies a simple yet profound tool that can be accessed anytime, anywhere – our breath.

Research has shown that intentional breathing techniques can significantly reduce stress, anxiety, and even improve overall well-being. Here are a few simple relaxation techniques using breathing that you can incorporate into your daily routine:

1️⃣ Deep Belly Breathing: Start by sitting or lying down in a comfortable position. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly. Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose, allowing your belly to rise. Exhale slowly through your mouth, feeling your belly fall. Repeat this for several breaths, focusing on the sensation of the breath filling your body.

2️⃣ 4-7-8 Technique: Inhale quietly through your nose for a count of 4. Hold your breath for a count of 7. Exhale completely through your mouth, as if you are blowing bubbles, for a count of 8. Repeat this cycle for a few minutes, allowing yourself to sink deeper into relaxation with each breath.

3️⃣ Box Breathing: Visualize a square. Inhale for a count of 4 as you trace one side of the square. Hold your breath for a count of 4 as you trace the next side. Exhale for a count of 4 as you trace the third side. Hold your breath again for a count of 4 as you trace the final side. Repeat this pattern, focusing on the rhythmic nature of your breath and the imaginary square.

Remember, the key to effective breathwork is not just the technique itself but also the mindfulness and intentionality behind it. As you practice these relaxation techniques, allow yourself to let go of tension and connect with the present moment.

Incorporate these simple breathing exercises into your daily routine, whether it's during your morning routine, a midday break, or before bed, and experience the profound impact they can have on your overall well-being. Let's prioritize our mental health and unlock a world of calmness, one breath at a time. 🌿

The LAST THING your body wants to do, IS TO DIE. ❤️

☀️Your brain and your body will do everything they can to keep you alive and safe.

☀️This is crucial to remember during a panic attack. One of the symptoms of a panic attack is the fear that we are going to die.

☀️Yet, you are not dying, you are having a panic attack, which will pass.

☀️ Remember that the symptoms are uncomfortable but not dangerous.

Last week I explained a few of the Automatic Negative Thoughts - distorted thinking patterns which are not based in reality but which are basically our own biased perceptions of the world.

These thinking patterns are like looking at the world with tinted glasses - the world is not tinted, our thoughts sometimes are.

So it is important to realise that sometimes suffering comes from within - sometimes we suffer because of our own internal and misconstrued understandings, perceptions, ideas.

🌟 Here's another Automatic Negative Thought - Personalisation 🌟

Let's talk about personalization – one of those sneaky automatic negative thoughts that can creep into our minds and wreak havoc on our mental well-being. 🧠💭

Personalization occurs when we automatically attribute negative events to ourselves, even when there's little to no evidence to support it. It's like wearing a pair of glasses that tint everything with self-blame and guilt.

🔍 Here's how it might sound:
"I failed the project; it's all my fault."
"They cancelled plans; they must not like me."
"I made a mistake; I'm such a failure."

But here's the thing – personalization is often based on distorted perceptions rather than reality. It's like looking at the world through a distorted mirror – everything seems warped and exaggerated.

So, how can we combat this sneaky thought pattern?

1️⃣ Challenge the Evidence: Pause and ask yourself, "Is there concrete evidence to support this?" More often than not, you'll find that personalization is based on assumptions rather than facts.

2️⃣ Consider Alternative Explanations: Could there be other reasons for what happened? Practice considering multiple perspectives rather than jumping to conclusions.

3️⃣ Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Remind yourself that making mistakes or facing setbacks is a natural part of being human.

4️⃣ Seek Support: Share your thoughts and feelings with trusted friends, family, or a therapist. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help us see things more clearly.

Remember, personalization is just one of many automatic negative thoughts – but it's one we can challenge and overcome with practice and self-awareness. Let's break free from the cycle of self-blame and embrace a more balanced perspective. 💪✨

🔍 Let's delve into another Automatic Negative Thought - Overgeneralization

🔎 What is Overgeneralization? 🔎

In simple terms, it's when we draw sweeping conclusions based on limited evidence or single negative experiences. Instead of seeing an isolated incident for what it is, our minds generalize it to apply to all similar situations.

😰 How Does it Manifest in Anxiety?

When anxiety takes hold, overgeneralization can sneak into our thoughts without us even realizing it. We might experience one setback or rejection and immediately conclude, "I always fail," or "Nobody likes me." This negative filter colours our perception of ourselves and the world around us.

🚫 Breaking the Chains of Overgeneralization 🚫

Recognizing when we're overgeneralizing is key to breaking free from its grip. Instead of letting one negative experience dictate our beliefs, we can challenge these thoughts by seeking out evidence to the contrary. Asking ourselves, "Is this true in every situation?" can help us regain perspective.

🌟 Cultivating Resilience and Self-Compassion 🌟

Overcoming overgeneralization involves cultivating resilience and self-compassion. It's about acknowledging that setbacks are a natural part of life and don't define our worth or capabilities. Let's replace blanket statements with more balanced and empowering perspectives.

🚨 Today I want to focus on another Automatic Negative Thought - Catastrophizing

🔍 What is Catastrophizing? 🔍

Simply put, it's when our minds jump to the worst-case scenario in any given situation. It's like our thoughts take a detour into the land of "What Ifs" and conjure up the most extreme and often unlikely outcomes.

😱 How Does it Manifest in Anxiety? 😱

When anxiety kicks in, catastrophizing can take over our thoughts with lightning speed. Suddenly, a minor setback becomes a catastrophic event in our minds. We might think, "If I don't ace this interview, I'll never get a job," or "If I go to that party, everyone will judge me and I'll end up alone forever."

🚫 Breaking Free from Catastrophizing 🚫

Recognizing when we're catastrophizing is the first step to regaining control over our thoughts. Instead of letting our minds spiral into worst-case scenarios, we can challenge these thoughts by asking ourselves, "Is this really the only possible outcome?" or "What's a more realistic perspective?"

🌟 Cultivating Resilience and Hope 🌟

It's important to remember that catastrophizing is just our anxiety playing tricks on us. By cultivating resilience and hope, we can learn to navigate challenges with a clearer perspective. Let's replace catastrophic thoughts with empowering ones, focusing on our strengths and capabilities.

Change is a process. It takes time.

If you've ever done some gardening and potted some seedlings, you will know that they will not suddenly grow into new plants.
🌱🪴🌳

❣️They need time, nurturing, nourishment, care.

❣️In the same way, you too need time to make the changes you want to make in your life.

❣️It's important to identify what changes do you need and want to see and how you plan on getting there. Remember small, consistent actions will accumulate over time!

❣️In the meantime, you too need nurturing, nourishment and care.

🔍 I promised to explain different types of Automatic Negative Thoughts

🔍Let's start with Black and White Thinking and how it affects anxiety

🖤🤍 What is Black and White Thinking? 🖤🤍

It's a common thought pattern where things are viewed in extremes - something is either all good or all bad, with no middle ground. It's like seeing the world in only two colours, black and white, without any shades of grey.

😰 How Does it Relate to Anxiety?

When we experience anxiety, our minds can get trapped in this binary way of thinking. For example, we might think, "If I'm not perfect, then I'm a complete failure," or "If I make one mistake, everything is ruined." This rigid thinking can amplify our anxiety and make situations feel more overwhelming than they really are.

🚦 Finding the Grey Areas 🚦

Recognizing black and white thinking is the first step towards breaking free from its grip. Try to challenge these extreme thoughts by considering the grey areas. Instead of labelling things as purely good or bad, consider the nuances and complexities of the situation.

🌈 Embracing Flexibility and Compassion 🌈

Remember, life is rarely black and white - it's full of shades of grey. Embracing flexibility and self-compassion can help ease anxiety and bring more balance to our thoughts. So let's strive to see the world in all its beautiful colours, rather than just black and white.

🌟 If you get panic attacks, you know what happens to you and how panic affects YOU specifically.

🌟 Sometimes however, we may get new symptoms and we might wonder if they are also part of the panic attack. 😲

🌟Here is a list of symptoms you might experience during a panic attack💥

💥Your heart wants to beat right out of your chest
💥Sweating
💥Trembling or shaking
💥Breathlessness
💥Sensation of tightness around your throat or choking sensation
💥Chest pain
💥Nausea or stomach discomfort
💥Feeling dizzy, lightheaded, or as if you are going to faint
💥Feeling detached from yourself
💥Fear that you are going to losing control or that you're going crazy
💥Fear of dying
💥Numbness or tingling sensations in your fingers, arms or legs
💥Chills or hot flashes

During a panic attack, you may also have a sense that something awful is about to happen, like a sense of impending doom. You may want to escape the place you are in as quickly as possible and move to a place which feels 'safer' to you in that moment.

It is important to identify that your symptoms are those of panic because this is the first step in treating them.

🌟 Confronting Automatic Negative Thoughts 🌟

Anxiety is often fuelled by thoughts which are intrusive and negative 💭. We also call these Automatic Negative Thoughts. Well, it's time to address them head-on!

Automatic negative thoughts pop into our head, whispering doubts, fears, and criticisms💭. They love to rain on our parade and make us second-guess ourselves.

🔍 Here's a glimpse of what they might sound like:
"You're not good enough."
"You'll never succeed."
"Everyone is judging you."

But here's the truth – automatic negative thoughts love to stir up drama. They thrive on attention and exaggeration, but they don't reflect reality.

So, how do we deal with these unwelcome guests?

1️⃣ Recognize and Acknowledge: Shine a spotlight on those automatic thoughts. Acknowledge their presence, but don't give them the starring role in your mind.

2️⃣ Challenge and Question: Ask yourself, "Is this thought based on facts, or is it just my mind playing tricks on me?" Often, you'll find that these thoughts are more fiction than fact.

3️⃣ Reframe and Replace: Swap out those negative scripts for more realistic and empowering ones. Instead of "I'll never succeed," try "I am capable, and I can learn from setbacks."

4️⃣ Set Boundaries: Just like dealing with an intrusive friend, sometimes you need to set boundaries with your automatic thoughts. Don't let them run the show – you're the director of your own narrative.

💥In the coming days, I will be going through a few types of Automatic Negative Thoughts, to help you identify which ones tend to visit you most. 💥

Remember, automatic negative thoughts may try to steal the spotlight, but you hold the power to rewrite the script. 💪✨

Is your thinking based on reality or is it biased and irrational? 😰

👉Cognitive distortions are patterns of biased or irrational thinking that can negatively impact how we perceive ourselves, others, and the world around us.

👉These distortions often involve automatic thoughts that skew our interpretations of events and experiences.

👉Examples of cognitive distortions include catastrophizing (expecting the worst possible outcome), black-and-white thinking (seeing situations in extremes), overgeneralization (drawing broad conclusions from single events), and personalization (attributing external events to oneself).

👉Cognitive distortions play a significant role in fuelling and perpetuating anxiety. When we experience anxiety, our thoughts tend to be distorted by these cognitive biases, leading to heightened fear, worry, and stress. By identifying and challenging these distortions, we can gain insight into the underlying thought patterns contributing to our anxiety. This awareness allows for the development of more balanced and realistic perspectives, ultimately reducing anxiety symptoms and promoting mental well-being.

Follow this page for more tips on how you can challenge your anxious thoughts. 💪

🎇 Did you know?

🎇Panic disorder is one of the Anxiety Disorders

🎇 If you have an anxiety disorder, you are definitely not alone! They affect 4% of the global population! 😔

🎇 According to the World Health Organisation in 2019 alone, a staggering 301 million people worldwide were dealing with anxiety disorders, making them the most common mental health issue out there.

🎇Anxiety is something we all experience at times, but for those of us with anxiety disorders, the intense fear is often also accompanied by tension in our body and other effects on our thoughts and behaviours. If left untreated, these feelings can linger and wreak havoc on daily life, impacting everything from family and social interactions to work or school.

🎇Here's the catch though: even though we have highly effective treatments available, only about 1 in 4 people actually receive the help they need. Why? Well, there are several barriers like lack of awareness about treatable health conditions, insufficient investment in mental health services, shortage of trained healthcare providers, and of course, the social stigma attached to mental health.

🎇Let's break down these barriers and spread awareness. Mental health matters, and everyone deserves access to the care they need.

Is there something you have been wishing to do in your life, but somehow you are afraid of failing?

Do you prefer to try and fail, or would you rather not try?

Personally, I would rather live with having tried and failed, than living with the regret that I never gave myself a chance and that I will never know. If you try, you might succeed. If you never try, you will surely not succeed.

Who wants free tips on how to reduce their anxiety levels? 🖐

Here's one - How to practice Cognitive Defusion. 🧠

🌟 Cognitive Defusion can be practiced in several ways to help you gain distance from your thoughts and reduce their impact on your emotions and behavior. Here are some simple steps to get started with cognitive defusion:

🌟Mindfulness Meditation: Begin by practicing mindfulness meditation to develop awareness of your thoughts. Sit quietly and observe your thoughts as they arise, without judgment or attachment. Notice the thoughts as they come and go, like clouds passing in the sky.

🌟 Labelling Thoughts: When a thought arises, try labelling it by simply saying to yourself, "I'm having the thought that..." For example, "I'm having the thought that I'm not good enough." This helps create distance between yourself and the thought, recognizing that it's just a passing mental event.

Having a thought that you are not good enough, is not the same as believing the thought that you are not good enough 💡

🌟 Externalizing Thoughts: Treat your thoughts as external objects rather than reflections of reality. Imagine placing your thoughts on leaves floating down a stream or writing them on balloons and watching them float away. This visualization can help you detach from your thoughts and see them as separate from yourself.

🌟 Using Humour: Try repeating your thoughts in a silly voice or imagining them as words on a screen scrolling by like subtitles in a movie. Adding humor to your thoughts can help you see them as less threatening and reduce their power over you.

🌟Practice Regularly: Like any skill, cognitive defusion requires practice. Set aside time each day to practice these techniques, especially when you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed by your thoughts.

🌟Remember, the goal of cognitive defusion is not to eliminate or change your thoughts but to change your relationship to them. With practice, you can develop greater psychological flexibility and resilience in the face of challenging thoughts and emotions.

Follow this page for more free therapy tips.

🌟 Unlock the Power of Cognitive Defusion to help you manage your anxiety better. This is a technique I always teach my clients who have anxiety or panic attacks.

✨ Cognitive defusion is a powerful technique from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that helps you separate yourself from your thoughts, allowing you to observe them without getting tangled up in them. 🧠💭

✨ A thought is just that – a thought. Having a thought does not mean the thought is true. Practice observing the thought, noticing it, without reacting to it immediately. 🧐👀

✨ So, thoughts are just mental events and not necessarily accurate reflections of reality. By practicing defusion techniques, such as viewing thoughts as passing clouds, you can create distance from your thoughts and reduce their impact on your emotions and behavior.

✨ The goal of cognitive defusion is not to eliminate or change thoughts, but rather to change your relationship to them, reducing their power to dictate your actions and emotions. This process can lead to increased psychological flexibility and a greater ability to respond adaptively to life's challenges.

Follow this page for more therapy tips.

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