Chaitanya - Conscious Parenting

Redrew this one for the book 💛

We are happy to announce our third workshop in the series of exploring different seasons. This time, we are welcoming Hemant Ritu in Dehrahun. The workshops are curated for parents and children in the age group 6-14 years. But given our experience in the Summer and Monsoon workshops, we are open to consider smaller/ elder children and also expecting parents.

Please feel free to contact us at: +91 8810482577 / +91 9917383168 or [email protected]

https://www.chaitanyacp.com/workshops/

Excited to host again...5 days of immersive experience! Please register now to join us, in case you missed earlier. For NCR friends, this is great opportunity to escape Festive stress and find yourself in nature with your kids.

💚 via Dance with me in the Heart quote by Wilder Child

As parents we want our children to be respectful of other’s feelings and be quick to admit when they are wrong. We want them to give a sincere apology and learn from their mistakes. But how many parents will apologise to their children? We seem to live in a culture where adults feel that they are superior to children and therefore they don’t owe them an apology even when the adult has done the wrong thing. Adults worry that if they admit that they are wrong to a child that this somehow undermines their authority. Or they feel that whatever they did was justified because it was the child that drove them to behave that way, so they shouldn’t have to apologise. All of these beliefs are false and by following these beliefs we are damaging our relationship with our kids and missing out on the lessons our kids could learn from us simply by saying “sorry”.

More information on my blog:

https://www.thetherapistparent.com/post/why-parents-need-to-say-sorry

Link in bio

Beloved neurologist and author Oliver Sacks often wrote about the unmatched rewards of , both psychological and physiological.

Sacks recounts witnessing nature’s tonic effects on his neurologically impaired patients: A man with Tourette’s syndrome, afflicted by severe verbal and gestural tics in the urban environment, grows completely symptom-free while hiking in the desert; an elderly woman with Parkinson’s disease, who often finds herself frozen elsewhere, can not only easily initiate movement in the garden but takes to climbing up and down the rocks unaided; several people with advanced dementia and ’s disease, who can’t recall how to perform basic operations of civilization like tying their shoes, suddenly know exactly what to do when handed seedlings and placed before a flower bed.

Sacks reflects: “I cannot say exactly how nature exerts its calming and organising effects on our brains, but I have seen in my patients the restorative and healing powers of nature and gardens, even for those who are deeply disabled neurologically. In many cases, gardens and nature are more powerful than any medication.”

Or as Walt Whitman put so articulately as he convalesced from a paralytic stroke: “After you have exhausted what there is in business, politics, conviviality, love, and so on — have found that none of these finally satisfy, or permanently wear — what remains? Nature remains; to bring out from their torpid recesses, the affinities of a man or woman with the open air, the trees, fields, the changes of seasons — the sun by day and the stars of heaven by night.”

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[ID: female sits atop an ivy shrub pile with guitar resting on lap surrounded by ivy covered tree trunks. She gazes downward as if daydreaming. The words “In forty years of medical practice, I have found only two types of non-pharmaceutical ‘therapy’ to be vitally important for patients with chronic neurological diseases: music and gardens.” –Oliver Sacks, Neurologist is written on top of the image.]

“What I want to know is, why the novel resistance to a set of parenting practices that are not just older than our culture, but older than our species? A set of conditions under which our fundamental evolved and which remain prevalent everywhere outside of the developed world?”

“I’m talking about the individual practices laid out in those books — , skin-to-skin contact, vaginal birth, avoidance of coercive discipline strategies — which have established science supporting them. What, exactly, is the problem with these things?”

“I struggle perpetually, as a skeptic and as a person of logic and science, with the way that Attachment Parenting is treated in our culture — as if it is anti-science. Often such commentaries come from people who have not, in fact, read the Sears books, which originally gave attachment-style parenting a name and popularised it. Because it is popular with parents who identify as “ ” or prefer a style of discipline that they call “ ” and psychologists call “ ,” and because it is counterculture, it tends to be viewed as a permissive, deviant parenting style. People refuse to admit that their ideas about parenting (Attachment Parenting included) are culturally-constructed. Yes, Attachment Parenting is based on a well-tested theory of social development, and on widely-accepted theories such as behavioural ecology and life history theory.”

“In my view, and in the author’s view it seems, popular criticism of Attachment Parenting isn’t based on science so much as on cultural constructions about what the “goals” of parenting should be, and scientific illiteracy in terms of how those goals can be achieved…That is to say, the general population is poorly educated in the psychological and evolutionary sciences that form the foundation of Attachment Parenting ideas.”

“—the principles of Attachment Parenting have less risk associated with them than conventional Western parenting approaches such as spanking, cry-it-out, unnecessarily interventionist childbirth models, and forced early weaning. Within the scientific community, there is no debate over the role that breastfeeding plays in optimal infant development. There is no debate over the benefits of a positive, democratic approach to the discipline of older children. There is no debate over the need to reduce c-section rates in the United States. There is a debate over bed-sharing within the medical community, but not really in the community. But even the medical community agrees that same-room is preferable to separate-room sleep in early infancy, and that is still not consistent with the cultural norm.”

“—we are in serious need of a cultural come-to-Jesus moment about precisely what sort of humans we want to raise in an increasingly unstable and unsettlingly -starved world. What sort of person do we want to have the nuclear launch codes forty years from now? What sort of leaders do we want advising that person? What sort of doctors do we want treating patients? What sort of CEOs do we want to be working for? If you want those people to be people with high levels of empathy, a history of behaviour, and the ability to behave compassionately towards people who live on the other side of the planet from them, then I have great news for the American public: There are well-supported, scientific ways to go about that.” –Bridget McGann

http://evolutionaryparenting.com/guest-post-attachment.../

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[ID: a mother gazes down smiling at her child cuddled up to her contentedly, while in a front baby backpack carrier. The words “In recent years science has churned up a lot of new evidence in support of behaviours such as breastsleeping and babywearing, which are behaviours so chronologically ancient that our infant biology has evolved to expect them.” –Bridget McGann is written on top of the image.]

Most parents say empathy is being able to take another person’s perspective and understanding what someone else is feeling. Research clearly shows that empathic people will be more successful at navigating social situations in the long-term. They have better interpersonal relationships, and they stay married. They end up being better bosses and more effective leaders and they make better life decisions because they can better predict the future.

Although empathy can bring safety, happiness, leadership skills, abundance, and wealth, studies have shown that self-reported empathy has been declining for the last 30 years. Research shows that empathy, concern for others, and the ability to take other people’s perspectives have sharply declined in American college students, particularly since 2000. Why? We can blame it on smartphones and on the social isolation propagated by our vast number of virtual Facebook friendships compared to our shrinking number of deep friendships. We can say that perhaps it’s the increase in violent media that numbs the empathetic response. But maybe it’s even simpler than that: maybe our children just don't practice it.

Lucky for us, empathy isn’t just an innate trait, but also a teachable skill. There are ways to teach empathy, and they actually work. If you are interested in learning more about how to help your kids resolve conflicts and work on empathy skills, read the full article on Dr. Clabough’s Psychology Today blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neuroparent/202202/how-scaffold-empathy-kids-practice-makes-proficient.

Dr Erin Clabough is a scientist, author, mother of four and part of Neurochild’s Brain Trust. She is a professor at the University of Virginia, where she researches basic brain development and teaches neuroscience. Erin is also the author of the book Second Nature: How Parents Can Use Neuroscience to Help Kids Develop Empathy, Creativity, and Self-Control (https://linktr.ee/ErinClabough).

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[ID: child rests head gently, relaxing on mother's shoulder as she has a hand on his back. The words “Empathy means nothing without the self-control to pause your behavior and the creativity to imagine a different world.” Dr. Erin Clabough Erin Clabough is written on top of the image.]

We created beautiful memories and learned with Parents and Children in our last workshop The Rainforest Retreat at Kaaya Learning Centre, Dehradun.

We are immensely grateful to the parents and their children who shared their joy of being together. The workshop was a gentle nudge to be in our true selves, connect with nature; to experience childhood again with our kids and learn curiosity and joy from them.

"It was good enough for me."
"I turned out fine."
"I survived, so will they."

Those are just a few of the responses we hear when we start talking about peaceful parenting. And that's okay. People feeling uncomfortable and defensive when confronted with new ideas is natural. But that doesn't mean we stop talking about it. Eventually those 'new' ideas won't be so new and uncomfortable anymore. Eventually 'good enough' and 'fine' and 'surviving' will sound like mediocre goals in raising tiny humans. Eventually talking will turn to trying. Eventually peaceful parenting will be the new normal. Just imagine how extraordinary that will be.💞 L.R.Knost


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🌎 Raising Humans Kind: http://t.co/T8goym3P6Z 🌍
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Please respect the work of authors, photographers, and artists. You are welcome to share provided you include appropriate credit and do not crop out author’s names from quote memes. Thank you. 🙂

www.LRKnost.com

Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.

Schooling
“Many students, especially those who are poor, intuitively know what the schools do for them. They school them to confuse process and substance. Once these become blurred, a new logic is assumed: the more treatment there is, the better are the results; or, escalation leads to success. The pupil is thereby "schooled" to confuse teaching with learning, grade advancement with education, a diploma with competence, and fluency with the ability to say something new. His imagination is "schooled" to accept service in place of value.”
Ivan Illich
Some of you reading this will have read 'Deschooling Society" (1971) by the Austrian philosopher Ivan Illich. He is one of the people understood 'schooling' as a cultural tool. He said, "“School is the advertising agency which makes you believe that you need the society as it is.”
Others who saw this plainly, and are well worth the read, include John Holt, Joseph Chilton Pearce, A. S. Neill, Welby Ings ...

Chaitanya - Conscious Parenting updated their website address.

From

स्वतंत्रता दिवस की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएँ 🙏🏾🙏🏾

May we all grow together , in mind , heart and walk together towards, happiness and prosperity.

.
It’s Midnight!
75 years !
VANDE MAATARAM !
Bharat Mata ki Jai !!
Jai Hind!!

🇮🇳

♥

via Wilder Child

✨ This resonates so deeply with me. What does it spark for you?

For me, it reminds me that "grumpy moods" aren't "bad" at all. It's ok to have grumpy moods, just as it's ok to have happy moods. We need to be able to ride the waves of emotions, not try to resist them.

I know when I'm in a grumpy mood and if my husband tries to pull me out of it before I'm ready, I don't feel good about it. I want him to be ok with my emotions. To see all of me. To sit with me in the dark sometimes. It's not that I don't like to be cheered up, don't get me wrong, but we need to know we have permission to feel all the feels in life and develop resilience so that when a big wave hits - as it will - we know how to ride it even if its a little harder. We need practice and so do our kids.

It also reminds me that it's not MY fault as a parent if my child is in a "bad mood" - it's not my responsibility to make him happy all the time. Your child experiencing difficult emotions doesn't make you a bad parent! This is just life. Life is sprinkled with disappointment and frustration, sadness and letting go. It’s our job to help our children walk through difficult emotions - it’s the only way they get to the other side.

It's a reminder for me to look deeper, to see what's behind a "bad attitude" or a disrespectful tone and never take it personally. There's always a reason and it's never because your child is trying to give you a hard time on purpose.

It's a beautiful reminder to hold space, to walk with my son in the dark, to slow down, to be compassionate with him...and with myself as a mama.✨

Kids Just Know
"Teachers who hold within themselves perceptions of the inadequacy of students will never be able to teach them to be something greater than what they are. You cannot teach someone you do not believe in."
Christopher Emdin

We've been to school, we can remember the teachers who liked and appreciated us, the ones for whom we were just another kid in the class, and the ones who had it in for us. They didn't have to tell us, we just knew.

A beautiful reminder to find little ways to connect with our children ❤️❤️❤️

via Parenting From The Heart

😍

via Wilder Child

And you also use boundaries to remind yourself that your child is their own person, you can take a breath and remember you don’t need to fix or control the other. Boundaries help us be true partners- seeing our role is to empower the child, not have power over the child.

What are boundaries?

Boundaries are guidelines for your child's behavior with the intention of keeping them safe and cared for.

"Stop that! Enough already!"
"How many times do I have to tell you."
"Not like that!"

These are not boundaries, they're more like complaints. You child is doing something that is triggering you in some way and you are reacting. Of course, we have ALL been there.

So, how do you shift your boundaries from a place of control and frustration, to a place of guidance?

➡️ Be specific and clear.
➡️ Be reasonable and realistic.
➡️ Be calm and consistent.

"This is the last cookie for today. We can have another one tomorrow. I have a feeling you're thinking if you keep asking me I will change my mind... i won't. No more cookies for today."

"NO hitting me. You are very angry, that's ok. You cannot hit me when you are angry."

A good reminder.👇

♥

Standing on Holy Ground
“You learn a lot when you’re barefoot. The first thing is every step you take is different.” Michael Franti
Very different.
We have as many nerve sensors in our feet as in our hands, and you can be pretty sure we didn't evolve that way for nothing. The senses of the foot give our children so much information about their environment: about the surface, covering vegetation, tree bark when they climb, stones in creek, rocks at the beach, the hot black sand; even the seasons and the weather 'informs' the soles of the feet. This is basic ecoliteracy knowing straight into a child's Body of Knowledge that they cannot get any other way.
(PS. Unless the ground is strewn with needles, broken glass, snakes etc)

Standing on Holy Ground
“You learn a lot when you’re barefoot. The first thing is every step you take is different.” Michael Franti
Very different.
We have as many nerve sensors in our feet as in our hands, and you can be pretty sure we didn't evolve that way for nothing. The senses of the foot give our children so much information about their environment: about the surface, covering vegetation, tree bark when they climb, stones in creek, rocks at the beach, the hot black sand; even the seasons and the weather 'informs' the soles of the feet. This is basic ecoliteracy knowing straight into a child's Body of Knowledge that they cannot get any other way.
(PS. Unless the ground is strewn with needles, broken glass, snakes etc)

"Literally incapable... " Thank you for your persistence in sharing this important message, Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.❤️

Graphic Credit: .therapist