The Alternative Campfire

Its Friday the 13th: the supposedly cursed day of freaky bad luck?! 👿😈

I say let your freak flag fly high!
Be 100% YOU, hide nothing hold nothing back - this is an invitation to just be and express who you are.

I used to question: would people still like me, love me, accept me if I was just 100% myself (freak and fab and everything in between)?

What did I learn about trying to please?
My only duty is to like, love, and accept myself as I truly am, to show and express myself into our world.

The right people will come.
And they will stay.
And still they are not my responsibility.
I am mine.

😈🤡👻💀👽👾🤖🎃

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👑❤️🌈🌟✨

“All our dreams can come true. If we have the courage to pursue them.” {walt.disney}

Loving the flexibility of NOT having an office space to work from, and the power of 100gb of data. Plus the creativity inspired by the open space - new energies, new possibilities.

Often we put limitations and self-imposed blocks to how and why we cannot be doing what we think we want to do. I’m learning to activate within myself what I need, so that i can do what I want to do.

Because who I am serving in our world is more important than my excuses and stories.

They matter, and their transformation matters.

Creation time, baby 🎮👾👻

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So this is me after 5 straight hours of working with clients one-on-one (alongside responding to emails, messages) 🥳🥰🙌

What keeps me going?
I’m inspired and astonished by what we have learnt and discovered together, and humbled by what we get to create together.

One of my clients is up to awesome things in our world - he is set to revolutionize our education system and make it truly inclusive for q***r children. Plus he cares deeply about kids with special needs, and .

He’s freaking amazing, and a game-changer (the thing is, he doesn’t quite know it yet). Plus he’s weird af, just like me and you!

And thats what i realize ... many of us were born with great dreams that can change our world for the better. But we doubt ourselves.

We forget and ignore our creativity.
We shut down and avoid our heart’s calling.
We give up on our hopes.
We think, who are we to change the world?

Who are you not to though?

Try my beloveds, try try try. I’m with you 🌈

(ok, resuming my super serious coach face)

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I hated my exercise time this morning.
It was tough, challenging, downright hard.

And i did it anyway.
Its a struggle, and i know i’m strong enough to do struggle and challenge.

My mind has this beautiful way of trying to keep me safe: “why bother? You were meant to be weak. Stop trying. What an embarrassment.”

They were untruths. Lies. Deception.
I heard them (boy, were they convincing!) and told my mind it’s okay.

I am starting to embrace my inadequacies and fears around strength building and fitness - accepting and befriending is my path forward.

Even though I used to believe that I will *always* be weak, I get to choose differently.

Shift your story, shift your choices 🙏❤️👑

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What do you do when you feel stuck?! 😤

Last week was a bleah week for me.
Even today really.

I felt uninspired. Unmotivated. Unenergised.
Feeling really stuck.

And that came from a deep, visceral sense of not knowing where I should go, what I should do, what I should create.

Shoulds - these expectations.

Falling off the path is expected.
Its not never falling, but in rising every time we fall. So i took the time and space to regroup... and care for myself. To inquire.

I can feel stuck. But i am never really stuck.

With every detour, i learn more powerfully who I really am, and what I can tap into as a human being.

And my humanity - its 100% entirety - is my offering, gift, and leadership to our world. Recognising this, I continue once again: i am creating, i am loving, i am serving.

How do you stay your path?🛤

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“Without intervention. Innate. By nature.”

Today I am reminded of who I am, naturally.

That at the core of my human beingness, i am naturally creative, resourceful, amazing, magnificent, and whole. And this is true not just for me... its true for all of us.

This arose out of a conversation with a fellow coach and work partner, where I realised my language was that I struggle to hold myself to this cornerstone.

Holding myself to something.
VS.
Knowing that I am something.

Totally different.
That reminder shifted me internally.
Transformation happens in a moment, and today I receive it gratefully.

All of these juicy bits are me, by nature.
All of these juicy bits are also you, naturally.

I’m so excited of the work we get to do and the difference we get to make in the world when we bring our selves 👑🌈🤓

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“Someone who effects a significant shift in the current way of doing or thinking about something”

My mission is to unleash gamechangers upon the world we live in.

Often when we start to spark change through our ideas, our speech, our art, our work, our actions and our relationships, we are faced with resistance.

We are called being too much, doing too fast - we are deemed trouble makers.

And darn right we are: we are trouble for the status quo. For we will not stop until things shift and transform for the better.

Life is a game. Boy do i wildly believe in a world where we all win - success, shared.

Because we all matter, too.

When the game level is high, the rewards are simply greater ... we level up more 👑

To my fellow gaymechangers: play on! 👾

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“Don’t say what you hate about your life, wish you had, or want to be. Talk about what you want, what you’re creating, and who you are.”

The tendency for so many of us people of difference and of the minority is to look at the gap and everything we dislike about ourselves and our lives.

We talk about what’s missing, what’s not good enough, what we hope to have, who we rather be instead.

We somehow believe that talking about what we do not like will make it go away.

We just want to feel better.
We just want to be the same, and to belong.

I believe the truth is that we create our world, our lives everyday. And that what we bring our attention to actually magnifies.

Acceptance instead builds inner momentum and is critical to self care. This then makes it so much more easier to shift and transform our lives.

How can we care for our selves if we cannot accept our selves (and all parts of our lives)?

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44 Self-Care Activities That Will Actually Help Make Your Life Better Stop digitally checking in with friends you had falling outs with, exes, and anyone else who isn’t an active part of your life. They’re only going to keep going on without you.

“The quality of being very determined, and of continuing to exist; persistence”

How do we even begin when what we want to do or to achieve is tough?

We simply start. And we keep going, knowing that failure is the only guarantee along the way.

For years, i have invested in growing my mental, emotional, and spiritual capacities. I have learnt to be a better human being in all those areas, and yet I have always ignored my own physicality.

I abandoned my body, for the sake of everything else. And i feel the impact of that... i’m not as strong or flexible as I would like to be.

I’ve always dreamt of seeing the world upside down in a handstand. 🤸🏽‍♂️🤸🏽‍♂️🤸🏽‍♂️

So i’m getting help.
Today is Day One: and i failed big time. It was really hard, and i’m determined to continue despite my ‘failure’ today.

Because i believe in myself.

What do you always say “one day...” about?
Do you believe you can start today? I do.

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So i got my butt kicked, and spirit ignited today by a fellow coach - she called me a powerhouse of sheer love and called me back into my heart.

And in that moment, i am reminded.
Everywhere i go, i naturally bring love and joy and hope to the people around me.

That’s why I serve as coach: i help people of difference discover and 100% accept who they are. In that, they get to be unleashed.

Unleashed as gamechangers who make a difference in our world.

So i commit to this for February:
My challenge is to post for the next 20 weekdays, and the game is to see how much content i can create each day.

My desired impact? You. And also fun 🥳
I want to help, to serve, to inspire, to spread love and joy and hope.

Also i help people create games from goals
🤓👑🥇🎭🎲🎮🎯

What will LIFE look like for you in Feb? ❤️
Plus, what content can I create to help you?

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“Creativity is a mind set free” 🤓🌟✨

I used to think creativity was something other people had - that only the unique and special people possessed this thing that i didn’t.

The truth is creativity is a state; and being a state, there is a process that anyone can step into, and embody to leverage their creativity.

We are innately creative: look at any child and you’ll find an endless source of things they say and do.

What holds us back from our creative nature is our mental filters, stories, beliefs around what we think we can or cannot create.

Spaciousness.
Depth.
Meaning.
Love.

These are what helps me access the creative me. And i love being able to couple this with lovely tea as i create this afternoon. Mmmmm

What’s your access point for creativity? 👑

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It was super fun to make a new friend today and play with cards, lol. I absolutely love cards as tools to help us gain clarity on what we want to articulate, create, and express.

Having played with many cards and tools before, I was surprised by the simplicity of this 23plusOne card deck.

I was thinking, how could this small deck of 24 cards be much use?! I’ve used bigger and better decks.

I was proven WRONG! 🔥🤣🤡😝🙌

It gave me new insight into who/what i am, how my work unfolds, and the intention/why i am doing all of this for.

Beautiful purpose-driven conversation.

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“Ready Player One” (Steve Kamb) 🏆

Celebrating a personal win this evening - yours truly has just created a full-on guide to turn your goals into games, converting the dread of to-do’s into fun quests and adventures.

Initializing game over shame in progress!

Powering up, entering cheat codes, level up
🥳🌈🎼👑🎉👾🤖🎃🤡👻

So i’m curious, who else uses games to get epic stuff done in their life?!

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🦁

Intention with inspiration,
intention over motivation,
intention for action,
intention for outcomes,
intention for creating everything we want.

May your intentions guide how you show up and create this week. May it be a resource for your self-leadership and creativity.

My intention is to be committing 👑 to my purpose, my stake in our world, AND also to the things that need doing (even if, esp if its hard). No one’s doing them but ME!

What’s your intention for this week?!
And i’d love to send positively wicked fun juju your way, let me know what you are intending for 🥳

(Expert tip: make it a verb. That brings more energy and action)

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“With grace, we remember the elegance of not needing to have it all figured out at once.

We remember the beauty of being a masterpiece in the making.

We remember what it means to just be human: being all of ourselves, in 100% realness, full acceptance.”

Sharing some actionable insights from my own personal journey with 🖤

May this inspire anyone who struggles with anxiety, and also anyone who wants to experience greater freedom and liberation in their life.

It is my hope that you remember what it means to just be you 👑🤓🌈🙌

Because you matter, too (despite and in spite of what your anxiety tells you).

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https://link.medium.com/tSPwBw6WZ2

GRACE: 5 things to liberate anxiety from your life and start living freely in 2020 Anxiety. For me, it is the voice in my head that tells me that I am not good enough, that I have never been good enough, that I will…

"I’m the guy who saw the light in everything,
I’m the kid who saw the magic in everything,
and i’m the friend who fondly held the spark of joy.

Yet, this new year brought on a whole sh*tload of anxiety and stress."

Offering this to fellow leaders, entrepreneurs, human beings, weirdos and misfits who might have caught the anxiety bug from the new year ... you're not alone!

And just because you caught it doesn't mean you have to hold onto it, or keep it any longer. It's time to let anxiety go.

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https://link.medium.com/ekjE3B5SU2

How I overcame the anxiety of starting 2020 and the decade with GRACE … Happy New Year. Happy New Decade. Happy New Me — except it wasn’t really like that.

“The joy that you give to others is the joy that comes back to you.” 🙏🎉🙌

One of the gifts i offer myself every end of the year is reflection and planning.. because the truth is learning and intentional growth comes only by taking the time to reflect, so that we purposefully do things differently and better.

And in the spirit of giving with love (and to dance with creativity), i am playing with putting together a guide for reflection this end of year - a guide for heart work, in completing and celebrating not just 2019, but the 10’s.

Authentic Freedom is your right.
Making a Difference is the invitation.
Because we matter, too.

I can’t wait to share it with all of you 🥳
May we recreate the clarity, confidence, and courage to renew ourselves for 2020 and beyond ~

What a time to truly be alive 👑

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“Grow a mo, save a bro.” 💪🎩❤️

That is likely the cheesiest tagline, ever. And yet, it rings true to heart.

I got on the wagon this year, and grew out a wee moustache and beardy, in support of movember: a movement started with the intention of spreading awareness of men’s mental health.

And this is something I take a stand for.
That we understand that its okay for men to feel, to suffer, to be vulnerable, to ask for and receive help.

I was once someone who needed help.
I still do; somedays are darker, some lighter.

It’s not easy to dance with the pull of depression and anxiety - the perpetual shame of not being enough, the weight of having to hold it all together.

I’m grateful help was available when I reached out, and i’m grateful I survived ... not everyone is that lucky.

This has to change.
Mental health matters. Our lives matter, our stories matter, we matter... you and me.

Will you take a stand with me? ❤️

(and yes, semicolon)

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“The depth of listening reflects the depth of relationship.”

One of the precious gifts of being with another someone is being able to deeply listen - listening to their stories, who they are, what they love (and hate), and how life is like for them.

This is what makes relationships work.
And this was what brought me to coaching.

Being a coach has deepened my skills in listening, and this partnering with another human being for the sake of their transformation: who they are becoming.

Pure listening. Pure love. Pure witnessing.
Pure championing and acknowledgement.

Pure possibilities.

What an apt reminder as I support and assist in for the next three days.

Such is the wisdom of tea 🍵🍵 it knows...

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“Our lives succeed or fail gradually, then suddenly, one conversation at a time.

While no single conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of a career, a business, a marriage, or a life, any single conversation can.

The conversation is the relationship.”

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“When we define ourselves by what everyone thinks, it’s hard to be brave. When we stop caring about what anyone thinks, we’re too armored for authentic connection.

So how do we get clear on whose opinions of us matter?” (Brené Brown)

Today a group of us rumbled around this... our Square Squad.

I am getting clear on the small list of people whose opinions of me actually matter, so I can go be brave(r) in our world and do the things that are really important for me.

Not everyone gets to be on other people’s list.
Not everyone creates a list.
Not everyone wants to be brave.

You are not everyone though.

Go make your .
Go know whose opinions truly matter for you.
Go be brave.
Go Be you.

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I am learning to love my own company.

Over the years, I always felt a sense of loneliness - of feeling alone and not enough. That somehow, being by myself and being myself is not okay.

Sometimes loneliness was more in the background. Sometimes its more present, like it was today.

So I chose to bring myself for a walk with the intentions of moving my body and being with this experience of loneliness.

There was nature.
There was open space.
And there was the undoubtable presence of me, being there for me. Even in the darkest of moments, I will always have my back.

Then the loneliness dissolved.
Guess what remained?
Connection. ❤️

And the journey continues ... leading self, first.

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“What are you choosing to reclaim today?”

Who can relate to spending too much time on social media!?

Where a look ends up taking the night?
When 2 minutes becomes 2 hours?

I have lost so much time, and energy in this social media addiction of mine - night after night, mindlessly spending hours just scrolling before bed.

Why?
I wanted to feel like people cared.
I wanted to feel like I was part of something.
I wanted to belong, somehow.

I didn’t get what I wanted. Obviously.
I was looking on the outside for something that only I can give myself: acknowledgement that I matter.

So now I am choosing differently and more consciously, I am choosing to give me what i want and need.

Digital transition time before bed.
Reclaiming my time: reading, meditating, being a marshmallow, being with myself, writing, gratitude, reflection.

Its all possible now.
What will you choose?


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“What would it look like to combine courage, connection, and meaning with the world of work?”

Truth be told, I never thought of myself as a leader. I always felt ashamed to be heard, to be seen, to be noticed.

To be in the spotlight?
To take charge?
To inspire and make a difference?
Hell to the no.

Until I dug deep into myself. And met my fears, insecurities, of unbelonging, of unworthiness.

I am learning to truly lead, and to really live.
Not as anyone else, but as me.

This weekend, I lead a group of wholehearted individuals in a 10-week journey of being brave, and being ourselves. In showing up with all of our hearts, and all of our selves.

Am I ready? Hell no.
Do I want to do this? Hell fu***ng yes!

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“How do we live fully if we censor ourselves?” ❤️

There was a time when I could not wear colors. I felt safer in the blacks and browns and blues.

What i tell people is that i like them.
What i don’t tell is that i disliked colors for they made me stand out.

In standing out, i was afraid that people see me. And this was partly because I was afraid they saw me for my traumas, my conditions.

Depression.
Anxiety.
Worthlessness.

This journey of self-acceptance and self-love has not been easy. And yet, it is important for me, and for my journey.

How can I live and lead fully if I choose to filter myself?

My life, my people, and the difference i will make in our world deserves , and all of my colors... not just brown, black, and blue.



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🙌🔥❤️

“Do you dare to lead with all of you?”

I’ve always been a fan of Brené Brown’s work on shame, vulnerability, and living from a space of authenticity and integrity. Learning through her books and videos have taught me so much about who I am, and also how I hold myself back from truly connecting with others.

My filters, my biases, my masks, my shame.
Not wanting to be seen or known or heard for fear that I am not enough.

This keeps me from being the person I know I am on the inside, who leads courageously with care in creating the world that we want to live in.

And so I want to go on a journey: of rediscovery, of stepping inwards and outwards, of doing the brave work, and of having the tough conversations.

Nothing would be more awesome than to do this with you (whoever is called!). Your world deserves to see you and know you too.

So i’m thinking of this fortnightly thing thats a ROJAK of mastermind meets book club meets group coaching pod.

We start the book together, we reflect, we connect, we deepen, and we apply the learnings in the brilliant, diverse lives we lead.

Who’s curious to chat? 🥳

(Limited spots available, i’m not that great a spaceholder yet 😉 and i want time to learn with us more intimately)

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Because matters ❤️
Because who we are as humans matter.

And this has been my story:

📚 studying it through my undergrad in psych
💔 experiencing depression, and to be diagnosed with it 6 years ago
🧸 struggling with anxiety as an entrepreneur

Knowing and integrating mental health has made me a better human being, in all areas of my life. I know what it means to feel deeply, to hurt, to feel lost, and also to reach out and ask for help (on good days).

But it’s not easy for everyone.
Not everyone gets access to support.
Not everyone feels safe.
Not everyone gets what they need as help.

And this needs to change.

It starts with you and me, dropping the label and stigma and judgment around mental health and related conditions that could affect the people around us.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤💔 - its all accepted.

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