UNSDF is a fine 4 3/4 year institution of higher learning. The school was founded in 1498. Or was it 1984? 4891? No, wait, it was 1849. Yeah, 1849.
Using an innovative "trimester system," which consists of five quarters, students receive a rigorous education in alchemy, phrenology and reading between the lines. Founded by the Right Reverend Hoobert Heever, who was dyslexic. As were his parents. Anyway, the biblical story of Sesom pulling a rock out of the water set in young Hoobert's mind the yearning to become a mining engineer. During Heeve
r's search for the seven cities of gold, he came upon what is now Forbes, North Dakota. He exclaimed: "This is not the place!" Hoobert decided to stay anyway. As there were no hotels in the area, Heever built a one room schoolhouse, painted it mauve, and thus, was born the school colors of taupe and sepia. HH's reputation as a seamstress failed to spread, but, people came from far and wide to hear his stories of mermaids, sea monsters and the Abominabable Snowman. Today, the old one room schoolhouse is now 3.1415 rooms. Indoor plumbing was added last year. UNSDF President Prester John extends a cordial invitation to all prospective students to consider studying at another school.
