The Seasoned Mama

I find it intriguing

The more we try to Honor Him

Celebrate HIS Birthday

Remember what HE has done

and why HE came,

The more Peace
Light
Love
Kindness
& Joy
we feel

He came through in big ways for us this holiday season

Miracles even

and it was supposed to be about Him-
but those who love Him choose to lighten burdens and provide relief and spread joy to the lonely, sick and down trodden.

I couldn’t be more grateful for friends and family who choose to serve and love and by doing so bring Him abundantly into lives

This is Christmas to me

A Son of God so Big
chose to come to earth as one so small

But He can’t be contained or worshipped or revered enough

Every time you try you’ll get

more Peace
Light
Love
Kindness
Joy

and miracles

He’s so big that even when we don’t or can’t try He still gives us all those things

and that’s something I never want to stop celebrating!

Merry Christmas❤️

There is purpose in pain

I stood behind the 2-way mirror and watched as my baby hung his head and sobbed and sobbed

Months before I had told the pediatrician he wasn’t putting his hands down during tummy time. “This is serious” she had said

So we would go to an office where I wasn’t able to be with him and I would watch through the glass while the therapist would force him to bear weight on his hands

It was almost torture to watch him suffer and cry,

except I knew he had to go through this to be able to do what he would need and want to do as he grew

I knew there was purpose in this pain

And do you know what?

That baby was eventually able to use his hands and arms

He was able to crawl and he grew up to be able to throw a baseball,
and play the bassoon,
do push-ups,
shoot a basket,
Play pickle-ball,
Pick up his baby brothers,
work and

Well now he’s on a mission using the strength in those hands and arms to serve others-others who don’t have the strength to do what he is now capable of doing

So sometimes when something seems so hard you want to hang your head and sob

Take a deep breath and

Remember even though you can’t see Him, He is right there

He loves you, He wants what is best for you

I don’t think He wants us to be in pain and suffer, but He knows that what you are going through is exactly what you need to go through to make you strong enough to do the things you were meant to do

So one day you’ll be serving in a way you would have never known how or been capable of before

You’ll have compassion and strength you wouldn’t have had or been capable of before

Someday You’ll be exactly who you were meant to be because

He knows there is purpose in your pain

My entire world in one picture

My daughter left for a mission 18 months ago

I’m not sure what I was expecting

Maybe deep down I was expecting blessings

I certainly wasn’t expecting

our world turned completely upside down

Anguish like I’ve never known as a mother

Confusion, despair and hopelessness

Anger, resentment and embarrassment

Stretching so painful I thought I would literally, actually break

And

blessings so huge and so small that couldn’t be from anyone but Him

and healing so big and so small that couldn’t be from anyone but Him

doors opened and doors closed by Him

I guess I’ve never understood until now what it meant to become a new creature in Christ

My daughter is a new creature-she’s still her but her depth, growth and light are palpable

Those things didn’t appear from 18 months of ease

As a family we are far (far, far, far) from perfect but we’ve grown from where we were at 18 months ago too

I’ve deeply learned I cannot make it a minute,

a day

a week

or a Lifetime

without His never-ending grace, help, comfort, guidance and love.

Anything I could ever be thankful for leads me straight back to Him.

and He’s been here the whole time-even when I wasn’t sure.

He’s in this picture too

Be a Barbara

One of our first Sundays together after moving was Christmas
After the meeting we stood up to leave and a tall lovely lady came right up to us and introduced herself

“I’m Barbara”

She talked to us
She told us how excited she was that we were there
She asked all about our family
Then wouldn’t ya know Barbara has found me ever since then
She’s sat with me in class
She’s jumped up to introduce me to everyone she knows
She’s found me a seat when there wasn’t one
She’s asked what she could do to help
This week she offered to give me a ride to the activity

I imagine there was a point somewhere along this journey of ours where someone in heaven said

We’re asking this family to move and it’s going to be sad and hard for them
It might bring out every insecurity they’ve ever had
They might be feeling displaced, overwhelmed and lonely

Don’t worry came the reply

We’ve got Barbara down there

I can’t fix all the hunger and sadness I see in the world, I can’t alleviate much of the pain and sorrow, I’m not sure that anything I do can make a huge impact on masses

But I can try harder to be like Barbara

Maybe I could make something a little easier for someone

When you’re thinking of all the things you could be in this world

maybe consider,

Consider being a Barbara

Which way is your tent facing?

Lot ended up in the middle of a wicked city just one chapter after he had faced his tent towards it.

But what’s so bad about being right smack in the middle of wicked places?

Danger.

There is danger there.

Lot was taken captive and it all started because he pitched his tent facing S***m

That’s the part I feel like I drove home when we talked about it in the tent tonight

But I think I missed the mark

the best lesson of the story is not just remembering to be deliberate about which way we face our tents,

how we spend our time,
What we look at,
What we seek

The best part of the story is that there is deliverance

No matter how far away you go
No matter what you’ve done
No matter how bad you think it is

You are never too far past deliverance

A rescue party.

Lot was saved and we will be too

God will send after us and just like Lot we can be brought safely home

So kids watch which way you’re pitching that tent

but

always,

always remember

That you are His.

He wants to save you and bring you home

He will seek after you and come to your aid

He will send others to help

There is always agency

And

There is always a rescue party,

A way for you to come back to safety

People who love you,

Ready to help you get home

to Him

He was the envy of every elementary Ed major

When he made this masterpiece in the di-cut lab at Ricks college

I didn’t know at the time but my love language was homemade handicrafts😍 ✂️ ❤️

I’ve learned a lot since that Valentine’s Day

About Love

Love is a homemade handicraft but it’s not just that

Love is sacrifice
Love is respect
Love is selfless
Love is saying sorry
Love is trying again
Love is saying it kindly
Love is taking the time
Love is looking in people’s eyes
Love is seeing people

The way God sees them

Eternal
Miraculous
Full of potential

Love is the greatest gift

The more you give it

The more you receive

i’m pretty sure there’s no other gift like that

One that will always make you a better person

I still have a lot to learn about Love

But what I do know is life is better when I give it

Happy Valentine’s Day❤️

A child’s big smile

there’s nothing like it.

I look at him almost in disbelief

as he dances in the uhaul

Nearly Everything about this whole moving experience is fun to him.

And not to me.

Why?

Why is that?

Why is that, that he can smile?

The thoughts come, time to be tutored:

“He is a child

He is childlike.

He can smile because his parents are taking care of all the hard stuff.

he trusts

he can smile because he fully trusts.”

The thoughts pause and then start again as I watch him

“You can be like that too you know.

You have Heavenly parents you can fully trust

They’re handling all the hard stuff so you don’t have to worry either”

The scriptures tell us to become as a child

submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon (you)*

I know we are supposed to move and I know God has a plan for our lives

He’s already told me.

Sometimes His plans are crazy strange and don’t seem to make any sense

That’s because

His ways are higher than our ways**

So I’m going to stop resisting

smiling as I write this

because I’m His child and He can do the impossible

which means I can do impossible things with His help.

I know He has a plan for you too,

He may have already told you

If he hasn’t, I am 100% positive He wants to

Ask Him

and stop resisting

Because you are His child

which means

you can fully trust.

You can fully trust and smile too❤️



*Mosiah 3:19
**Isaiah 55:9

1, 2, 3

Everybody smile and say

“I hate moving”

It was a dumb thing to say

They clearly don’t hate it

they’ve been playing zombies for an hour moaning into a microphone

Intermittently Chewing on my arm

But I’m cross

Bordering cranky and tired

Suffocating under the weight of every sheet of paper that I’ve ever felt was so important to keep

Bugged at every decoration that I’ve ever loved

I’m no help with the heaviest boxes

So I lean against the trailer staring at the mess

And the thought comes to my head

“Where is God in all this?”

Before the last word has even floated away

Answers flood

tumbling over themselves into my head

He is in the crystal clear sky and perfect temperatures for moving tonight

He was in the sunshine for kids playing earlier while we packed the garage

He was in the trailer that somehow I seamlessly hooked up for the first time on my own,

and clear roads so I could safely drive 4 hours and the parking spot when I stopped to take the kids potty In the crowded parking lot that just so happened to not have any cars around it when we left so I didn’t have to back up at all

He was in grandma when she urged me to go and her friend who could help with grandpa so I could leave

More thoughts overlapping all at once

He was in the bus lady who called me back after endless messages were left over the past 2 months making it so my older kids could have a ride to and from school so I could leave

He was in the $1 storage unit that happened to be available last minute

He is in this man who I love that knows how to Tetris our belongings and is strong enough to keep going when I can’t

The thoughts keep coming

He is in the fact that we are all healthy at this time to move everything

He was in the sweet friend who felt prompted to give us that microphone that we lost for a couple years and it miraculously appeared earlier today and kept the kids entertained for hours

Where is God in all this mess?

My mess and yours?

The answer is

He is everywhere

I wouldn’t be hired as a professional packer

I’m literally the worst at it

Our neighbor gave us a bunch of newspapers to wrap things up with

But I keep stopping to read

I mean come on how could I crumple up an article like this

Life changing really

“Sometimes our struggles can make life seem meaningless;

Our hardships can be so overwhelming that we want to find a hole in which to hide from pain

But, if we take any wisdom from Michelangelo’s story, maybe our “greatness” depend on facing our hardships with “eternal patience”

Perhaps each hardship is a chance to learn about ourselves and our true potential” -Eric Bess

We’ve passed by here probably more than 20 times

30+?

for some reason remembering that it might be the last time we drive by made me want to take a picture

and ask them

Do you remember when you guys carved pumpkins in my hospital room?

He’s 5 and he’s never heard the story of he and I at that hospital

Big families are like that

the ages span so many years that you forget who was there when what happened and if you’ve told them or not😆

“I remember!” -2 yr old

Everyone laughs

Dad brought (smuggled) carving knives and pumpkins and five kids into my hospital room

they remember the look on the nurse’s face when she walked in🤣

I also thought I should tell them the story of how we felt like Dad was supposed to sell his business

The deal was finalized the day I was admitted to the hospital

Not a coincidence

The worker came in and asked me if there was anyway we would qualify for Government assistance to help pay for the astronomical costs of being on bedrest for many weeks in the hospital the doctor wanted me at

“Pretty sure we can’t qualify ” I responded

“Do you have a job?”

“No” (sometimes not being able to walk and being in the middle of your masters degree makes it pretty hard to hold down a job)

“Does your husband have a job?”

“I guess just as of today-technically no”

“Well then you’re covered”

“I don’t think that’s possible because he’ll receive payments from the sale of his business”

She insisted, “doesn’t matter, you’re covered”

I used to cringe when selling his business didn’t turn out how I wanted it to, it’s been a process for me to accept the fact
that following what God wants you to do doesn’t always look like what you want it to look like

But guess what-If things would have gone the way I wanted them to I would not have the same compassion, empathy, skills, and strength that I have now

I wouldn’t have seen the miracles

Everywhere

there are still more coming

I just have to remember

and you do too

if you’re doing what He’s told you to do, but it’s not looking like you wanted it to

Keep holding on

It’s going to work out exactly how He wants it to

Which means you’re going to end up being exactly who He wants you to be😘

I was driving back from dropping off my son at preschool one morning and the spirit said “go to Goodwill”

Really, Goodwill?

Ok

it was closed, it didn’t open til 9

I sat there in the parking lot for a minute, I was sure I was supposed to go.

I ran an errand and came back, searching the store for the reason I was supposed to come

Then I saw it

The whale picture.

I thought it would be perfect for the kids’ bathroom

What a find!

It didn’t have a price so I carried it to the front and asked how much it was.

$10.

maybe this was the reason I was supposed to come, I was about to buy it

And then I vascillated, should I really be buying this whale picture? I really needed to go home… I shouldn’t be spending money, I walked out without it.

As I drove away I second guessed myself the whole way home

I knew I was supposed to buy that whale picture and I didn’t

If I went back it would probably be sold because it was so cute

Why do these things matter so much to God, like a whale picture? And why did I just not buy it when I was there?

When I got home I determined to go back and get it,

I opened my front door

and almost ran into a girl coming to pick up something off my doorstep

I never would’ve seen or heard her come if I wasn’t leaving that second

I hadn’t seen her in a long time. I talked with her, I got to give her a hug, hear about her difficult health problems she was having

I got to see her

After she left I finally understood why God cared so much about that whale picture

it’s because He cared so much about her.

He wanted to put me in the right place at the right time so I could visit with her and encourage her

I felt the incredible significance of the whale picture

I drove back to Goodwill and almost ran in a bit frantic that maybe they had already sold it

I wanted to hang it in my home so it would be a reminder to my children of how we want to let God work in our lives

A reminder about how much He loves His children and how we can help love others in ways He knows they need

if we follow Him

He’ll put us where we need to be in order to do His work

I ran in and found the whale picture, it was still there! and it was

$7 🐋

“The door is wrapped mom”

tender mercies

I like to call them tiny miracles

They are so much better than big miracles

Because they are so incredibly personal

Intimate even

A God who can only see your heart and your struggle and your worry and He puts His finger on your heart to show you in the only way you would know it’s just for you

He shows you He sees you

how do you ask your 17-year-old son to move in the middle of the year and leave everything behind because you know it’s what God wants you to do

You ask him to pray

And you pray and you wait for the miracles

And they don’t seem to come

And then you step forward and they come

But they’re tiny

but they mean so much

Like the first day when he finds out the coach at his new school also moved his junior year to take care of his grandparents

or when before so many times you had heard about how the cross country door wasn’t wrapped at his previous school

a symbol to him of how much the school cared about his favorite sport,
about what he spent hours training and sacrificing for

But guess what

At the new school it is

The door is wrapped,

maybe it doesn’t mean anything to you maybe it doesn’t even mean anything else to anyone at that whole school or even anyone else on the team

maybe they take it for granted

but it means so much to him

and God knew that.

A tiny miracle

That shows him and only him in that way that God sees him

God loves him and I hope he never forgets, He loves him enough to reach into his life in the smallest but biggest ways

look around and see what He’s doing in your life

I know it’s small, but it’s big because it’s just for you

I didn’t really want to get frozen yogurt last night

but my car just kind of drove there it was weird

they let us taste all the kinds it was awesome

They had a teeny tiny table so we squeezed in

OK I squeezed in

and we had a talk.

we had a talk about moving and he wants to pack his cousin and bring him (oh my heart🥰)

and since it was his first time having frozen yogurt I told him the story about the summer when the frozen yogurt was free

(it was a summer when we had absolutely nothing

like literally

we were barely making it, my husband had no job I was doing my masters, to say it was a difficult time is an incredible understatement)

OK I didn’t tell him all that stuff above in the parentheses but what I did tell him was The frozen yogurt was free

All summer

you could get any flavors, you could get any toppings

miraculously, I don’t even know how Quiktrip managed it because I think we ate more than our weight in frozen yogurt that summer

our family alone could’ve bankrupt them

Y’all know how expensive frozen yogurt can be

it’s like I hold my breath when they put it on the scale Cuz I get so concerned all the sudden i’m calculating the weight of every single gummy worm and sprinkle

the fact that we could go every single day and get as many toppings as we wanted was nothing short of a miracle

it was like God was saying “I know this is hard right now, but look at this fun thing I can do for you”

I felt like He did it just for us

but I know it wasn’t just for us because I would see other families in there with the same look on their faces

i’d like to shake the hand of the executive who said “you know what we’re just gonna give this away all summer long”,

Ok I’d actually hug them, the tight not let go for a little bit cuz you’re so grateful

I really hope they didn’t lose their job for that decision

because they literally saved our lives that Summer

He literally saved my life that summer

it may seem really hard right now

But hang on He knows it’s really hard

I promise there’s gonna be a frozen yogurt miracle in your life too

like a free all summer long kind of one😘

We call this the Holy Moly House.

2 years ago we weren’t looking for a house but I felt like I should pray about renewing our lease.

When my husband and I prayed about renewing the lease the answer was a firm “no”

We were surprised but we went looking for a house, hoping for a miracle.

My husband had been unemployed for 3 years, and had just gotten a job. Everything in our price range was teeny for our family of 9.

We were driving one day and saw this house and when we went in my 3 yr old couldn’t believe how big it was, he kept running through the rooms with his arms stretched wide saying “Holy Moly, Holy Moly!!”

Everything about it felt right. We put in an offer, everything looked great and then right before closing it fell through😭 we were embarrassed and confused, we knew we were supposed to buy this house.

We had felt so led but nothing was working out. We continued to pay the high month-to-month rent. The “Holy Moly” house went under contract with another buyer.

I still knew we were supposed to buy it but it looked impossible.

A few months later I saw the house pop back up online. It had fallen through and 4 months later we were able to close on the house just in enough time to be settled for the start of the pandemic.

The Holy Moly House has been an amazing house for us, we have grown so much here-it was exactly where we were supposed to be.

Sometimes things seem impossible.

You might be feeling that way,

I’m feeling that way

so that’s why I’m sharing this to help me always remember that God does what He says He will do. He has things waiting for us that are so great that they will make us stretch our hands and exclaim “Holy Moly!”

He wants to give us things that are greater than we ever imagined!

But, sometimes we have to wait to open our presents.

Sometimes it’s hard to wait.

sometimes the waiting makes them even more miraculous❤️

Remember to Believe in impossible things because with God all things are possible

I made chocolate nut toffee (OK it’s Christmas crack but since it’s not Christmas we had to call it something else) as a thank you for all the people who helped us with getting our house ready to sell and I asked my two-year-old who we should deliver it to first and he said “me”😆

This morning I stopped at the store and I felt prompted to buy this blanket.

“That’s interesting that I feel like I should buy this blanket” I thought

“I already have a couple of soft blankets”

“I don’t really want to spend the money”

I bought the blanket.

I’ve learned something about when the spirit speaks to me.

It rarely makes sense in the moment so often I try to talk myself out of it

but I try really hard to follow it because I’ve learned there is always a reason.

God didn’t take away the trip to the ER but He did provide a way for it to be a little more comfortable.

He doesn’t always take away the hard- because the hard is why we’re here, but I’m so grateful He gives us the Comforter so we can feel His love❤️

Lamb of God
Redeemer of the World
Lord God Almighty
Savior
Son of the Living God
Jesus Christ
Mighty one of Jacob
Mighty One of Israel
Lord thy God
God of our Fathers
One God
Holy Messiah
Great Mediator of all men
Rock of my Salvation
Great Creator
King of Heaven
Lord God of Hosts
Great Jehovah
Immanuel
Wonderful
Lamb
Counselor
Mighty God
Everlasting Father
Rock
Prince of Peace
Shepherd
Son of the Eternal God
Holy One if Israel
Lord of Hosts
The First and the Last
Just God
Great Creator
God of Nature
My Maker
Heavenly King
Him who created you from the beginning
Lord God Omnipotent
Sure Foundation
Christ the Lord
My Redeemer
Founder of Peace
Good Shepherd
King of all the earth
Christ the Son
Lord of the Vineyard
Beginning and the end
Very Eternal Father
Rock of my Righteousness
God of our Fathers
Father of Heaven and earth
Him that bringeth good tidings
The Light and Life of the World
The true vine
Supreme Being
Good Shepherd
Lord God Omnipotent who reigneth
Who was and is from all eternity to all eternity
Him who has granted salvation for His people
King of all the earth
I am He
I am the first and the last
Savior of the World
The Lord Jesus Christ
Lord our God
God of Abraham
Son of the most High God
Almighty God
The King, the Lord of hosts
Lord and my God
Only Begotten of the Father
Son of Righteousness
God of Isaac
God of Jacob
Eternal judge of both quick and dead
My beloved Son
Holy One
Great and the Last and the only Sure Foundation
Friend
Eternal Father of Heaven and earth and all things which in them are
I think my favorite title is Brother💛

Our daughter made this for us for Christmas💛 these were all the names of Christ that she found in the Book of Mormon and this was only half way through.
If you would like to learn more about Jesus Christ I invite you to read the Book of Mormon💛

The best gift is Jesus.
It’s true.
Can you imagine a world without Him?
I can’t even make it a day without Him.

“when your spiritual foundation is built solidly upon Jesus Christ, you have no need to fear.” Russell M. Nelson

Merry Christmas friends💛