My Journey To Find Me

Last week was a write off with everyone in my house being sick but today Zayd and I got back to the gym and it was a great kick ass class at Natural Path!

It all starts with the core! Love having my boy at the gym! Proud to be an example!

I love that my boy watches me work hard to be better for him...so motivating

Was going through my closet today and decided to put on my old favourite jeans....i have got to say I was a little embarrassed to think that I didn't realize what I allowed to happen to myself. Also a little blown away at how different I look now. It was a mixed emotional moment for me

Veggies and chicken for dinner the other night and then last night I made crock pot butternut squash soup

Mission accomplished

It's that time again

Gym selfies with my little monster yesterday morning

Wow....just wow! Found this pic of myself yesterday. It dates back to 2007, predating both my children! I thought after my second pregnancy I was at my biggest, but looking at this pic I am pretty sure I am wrong. It's so sad the way we can fool ourselves and wander through life without ever really looking at ourselves. I can't believe the way we ignore the elephant in the room even when the elephant is us. I am not perfect and I struggle everyday but I will never stop fighting to never end up like that again, living with my head buried in the ground to avoid ever really seeing the real me. I have worked too hard to allow myself to do that to me again!

Struggling with being back to work and trying to find routine that doesn't completely exhaust me....tired but hit the gym because it's important

Zayd and I killed it at the gym again

Omg I totally wish I had a before pictures from this morning or something so I could show you guys the difference! Despite my 5 month pregnant looking belly, there is no baby in there....this is swelling and it's what happens everytime I start working again since surgery. My skin is so tight and I feel so bloated. I am drinking water but it doesn't help, it's just what my body does right now by the end of the day after I work hard. Yesterday I went I to the gym, today I ran 2km as a guide for a visually impaired student I work with to practise for cross country....this is the end result for me 😢 I can't wait for the swelling to just stay gone cause this is not a good look or feeling!

Breakfast...2 hard boiled eggs, natural yogurt and a coffee

Tonight's dinner and managed to get in 17 cups of water... I know what I will be up doing all night

Lunch....raw veggies, 2 hard boiled eggs, salt free seasoning and 16oz of water

Grab and go! The big bag of veggies is for supper tonight and the small bag is for lunch with 2 hard boiled eggs and a few mushrooms already at work! This has been a great reminder and a wake up call....I do know what I am doing...it's a matter of whether I choose to do it!
PS....I am also 2 bottles of water in, so 4 glasses which is a good start considering some days lately I wouldn't even drink one. Gonna keep track today and see if I can hit my daily required minimum which is I believe 15 glasses.

Just finished a kick ass work out! My legs feel like Jell-O

Weighed, portioned and seasoned chicken ready to go.

All those Veggies are useless if you aren't prepared to eat them. Prep done so I can grab and go with no excuse. Feels good to fall back into some good habits!

Step one towards getting my s**t together

At some point this was ok with me...at some point I had accepted this as me....I will never go back there again!

Ok so I have not been on much lately because to be honest I haven't been doing much lately. I am the first to admit I am not perfect and after my surgery when I was no longer able to do much and my whole life routine changed, it became a very big challenge for me to maintain. I slipped up lots and kind of just took myself on a mental emotional and physical hiatus. I have slowly been adding in workouts but my food has been way off and my water in take is pathetic. So today, now that my life has leveled out a little I am getting it together. I worked so hard to achieve what I did and I refuse to allow myself to fall to pieces again. I am better than that and deserve better than I have been giving myself. Today I am heading to the grocery store to buy all my Veggies and meat for my meals at work, I will be at the gym Monday and Wednesday and am playing ball hockey on Friday. I have a plan, I have a focus and I know I can do this. Thank you for always supporting me even when I'm not sure I deserve it.
On a side note....today is my first day in jeans since my surgery...bought myself a size 16 not bad coming from a 26! I could likely wear a 12 or 14 if it weren't for my big legs.....those are my next focus...get my eating on point and then run those legs until the weight melts off!

You never know what you can accomplish until you give it a try. I haven't been on a bike ride in probably 10yrs but I was curious if I could do 18km in order to complete the pedal part of a pedal, paddle, pace race I want to participate in. So I borrowed a bike and gave it a shot.....turns out I in fact can ride 18km and in my opinion I can do it at a fair pace!

Can somebody please inform my body that disolvable stitches means it does not need to go through the effort and discomfort of working them back out through my skin...that they will in fact just dissolve if it leaves them alone. Last night at 1am I was dealing with my bodies stupid behaviour. 3 holes in my scar and 5 stitches backed out making for a total so far of 4 holes and 7 stitches but I can tell there is very likely more to come.
Listen body! Leave the damn stitches in there!

Another super sweaty Monday workout....trying to get back in the groove....thanks for keeping me motivated Jenny! We ❤ Natural Path!

A great workout at Natural Path as always! Love having you there Jenny! Thanks for kicking our butt's Steph

This was a fun way to compare today! A day before surgery vs today