Ship A Dick

FREEEEEEEE Tote Bag!
Use Code: TOTEBAG

Be the top c**k of the shopping block with the
new Ship A Dick Tote bag!
This red rocket holster will fit all kinds of Greek yogurt, eggplants, hot dogs and mixed nuts from your local bro-dega.

This wonderful masterpiece measures a little over 12" wide and 12" tall.
No soulless AI art was used here! All hand drawn dicks.

https://shipadick.com/products/red-rocket-tote-bag

It's not just a 'water bottle' it's a statement, it's a way of life, it is essential. With a flip-up Dick Straw and custom message on the front, it's everything you'll ever need. Need we say more??

The cup measures 29 inches tall
P***s straw (not an actual straw...) is a whopping 9 inches in length

https://shipadick.com/products/the-stanley

$0.99 Dickams Special!

Get a small cardboard Dick and a sh*tty Santa Hat together in one box! The combo you never knew you needed. The combo that will save Dickmas!

Each order will include:
- One 5.75" long and 3" wide (at the balls) cardboard dick
- One Red Santa hat made from the finest fabric money can buy at the Chinese hat factory
- Some Ship A Dick stickers
- Probably some Christmas-colored confetti thrown in for good measure
- FREE custom Notecard

https://shipadick.com/products/0-99-dickmas-special

https://shipadick.com/products/spiral-dickmas-tree

BLACK FRIDAY Black Sticker Dick
only $0.99 w/FREEEEEEEE Shipping!

OMG!!!!!!!

https://shipadick.com/products/black-friday-2023-black-sticker-dick

In 1958, at Camp Crystal Lake, two counselors sneak inside a cabin to have s*x, where an unknown vo**ur sits on the top bunk, throbbing member in hand.
He tried to join in the fun but was rejected....
This rejection fueled his rage and the murders began. But not that kind of murder. The kind where he's murdering that pu.....

Wait, what?!?!?! How'd you get access to my private Jason Voorhees fanfic.
Nothing to see here.
Just a giant cardboard dick inspired by Friday the 13th.

Enjoy!

Each order comes with one 29" Cardboard dick, a Laser Cut cardboard Jason Mask and a laser-cut cardboard machete with dick handle.

https://shipadick.com/products/jason-voorhees-dick

HAPPY HALLOWEENIE!

Spooky season is in full swing at the dick factory!

- Giant Skeleb***r is trying to bang the interns in the closet.
- Creepy Dick Bats are taking roost in the lunch room.
- Ghoulish Ghosts with b***rs have taken the Doorman's job.
- Terrifying Dick-O-Lanterns have replaced all lighting in the shipping department.
- A handsome C***suckula has drilled a hole in the bathroom wall and is sitting on the other side of it...we have no idea why...

All Halloween Dicks are in stock and ready to ship!

To kick things off, here is a coupon code for 20% OFF all Halloweiners:
SPOOKY23

Halloween Dicks Everything from big dicks, to dick bouquets, boxes of dicks and gummy dicks. We're your one-stop shop for getting dicks by mail. All orders are shipped anonymously and we have never and will never give out any order info. Rest assured your secret is safe with us. Ship A Dick today!

Show them your cardboard brown eye!
50% OFF A-Holes through Sat. 9/2

No code needed, just go to the site and order to your butt's content.

https://shipadick.com/collections/all-dicks-1/products/the-a-hole

The Barbie Dick

Some might argue that we should be making a Ken dick instead of a Barbie dick. But tell me dear reader, where the hell is his dick?!? I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve looked. I looked a lot and all I see is a smooth musty front butt, and no floppy, plastic dingaling.

One could argue that Barbie actually has more protruding appendages than Ken will ever have and thus we should be honoring this blond polymer bombshell with a dick of her own!
(Don’t even get me started on Ken’s “disappointingly low T”...)

Or maybe it’s time we up the empowerment game. Pink plastic dicks with Barbie laser engraved on them should be the norm to show the next generation that anything is possible.
Headed to a Friday matinee? Order one and hang it around your neck to match your fabulous attire. A fine accouterment for the theater.
Need to send a jovial prank? Look no further than this pretty pe**ee. It will bring a smile to any recipient’s face.

Or maybe you’re just looking for a pink pe**er for packing.
We’re here to help with whatever your needs might be.

The Barbie dick is laser cut out of ⅛” Pink Translucent Acrylic and measures 5.75” long and 3.25” wide at the balls.

On a side note, no, Mr dick hasn’t been sitting in the basement mixing Peptobismol with malt liquor in preparation for the Barbie Movie release. He’d never do that to the civilized, high-class drink of the royal family.
He is simply getting into the Barbie Movie spirit and is only adding the Pepto to match his new pink, bedazzled shoes he stole from the kid down the street. “Stole” might be a strong word…they were left neatly next to the front door and everyone knows that anything is fair game after 2 tidal cycles. That’s just common maritime knowledge, right? Right??? He had every right to wear them to the premier and hold onto them for perpetuity.

The Barbie Dick Just a Barbie girl living in a cardboard dick world…but it’s time to break free! Some might argue that we should be making a Ken dick instead of a Barbie dick. But tell me dear reader, where the hell is his dick?!? I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve looked. I looked a lot and all I see is a s...

Tire C***s - P***s Valve Stem Caps
The time has come to pimp yo ride!! (90's kids know what I mean)
Slap on some Wheel Wi***es P***s Valve Caps and impress your whole family. 6 out of 7 dentists agree that your grandma will love them.
Perfect for your car, motorcycle, and bicycle.
Or maybe it's time to finally match those truck nuts hanging off the back of your f-150. We get it.

These are made right here in the US of A by the minions in the dick factory. We pay them to watch our 3D-Printers all day to make sure there isn't any kind of robotic uprising fueled by the endless dick printing the machines are forced to do. Know that Mr. Dick is doing his part to keep you safe from AI taking over and killing us all.

Prank your friends and loved ones or that dumb-ass neighbor that won't stop parking in your spot even though it's clearly marked for your Apartment #69420...

These will fit all standard valve stems on cars, trucks, and motorcycles. They will fit all Schrader valve bicycle tires.

They come in packs of 2 or 4 and make your selection above.
We've also included a FREE notecard. Let them know how much you love them!

Color options include:
- Rainb***r
- Glow in the Dark
- Pink
- Black
- Brown
- Gold

They are made using high-quality PLA plastic filament.

Every order is sent anonymously!
Your secret is safe with us.

https://shipadick.com/collections/all-dicks-1/products/tire-valve-dicks

We need to make some SCOTUS dick shipments and we need your help.
Which one of these ass-clowns should get a box of dicks???
Please contribute to our poll:

https://shipadick.com/pages/scotus-are-dicks

New 'God of Dick' T-shirt!

https://shipadick.com/collections/t-shirts/products/god-of-dick-t-shirt

Taste the Rainb***r!
Happy Pride!

Check out our new T-Shirts!
https://shipadick.com/collections/t-shirts/products/nl3600-premium-short-sleeve-t-shirt-10

Mr. Dick huffed and puffed and blew his house.
After this mind-altering event, he decided there needs to be a new way to express oneself as cardboard dicks weren't cutting it.
After a few pulls of a recently acquired DMT v**e pen, it came to him (thankfully not on him), Laser Engraved Bricks!!

He's made two options for all of you fine folks. A Custom Message Brick to best convey your true feelings and the Pre-Made Message Brick for when we need a little help in deciding.

Ship A Brick Mr. Dick huffed and puffed and blew his house.After this mind-altering event, he decided there needs to be a new way to express oneself as cardboard dicks weren't cutting it. After a few pulls of a recently acquired DMT v**e pen, it came to him (thankfully not on him), Laser Engraved Bricks!! He's m...