The Parrot Lawyer

Will you be my Val?

Dating a woman that cant control her mouth when angry is the same thing as dating a man that cant control his hands while angry. It is just a diff. form of abuse

Your position as the Judge

A man who was arraigned before a Mombasa Law Court left court, left everyone in stitches after he complimented the magistrate.

Wycliffe Mungo was charged with the offense of stealing. The police report alleges that on December 1, 2022, he reportedly stole academic transcripts, degree certificate, KCB ATM card, and a HP laptop valued at Ksh45,000.


However, defending himself in court, he began by asking the Mombasa principal magistrate Vincent Adet where he bought his suit.

Mungo said;


"Your honour first of all good afternoon and secondly allow me to compliment you for being so handsome. Your black suit seems to be from Nairobi and yourself l believe you are from there too.
"You appear smart and handsome. I trust you are from Nairobi. Those from Nairobi look like you. Your black suit and tie must be expensive."


He further caused more laughter by informing the court that there was no way charges of stealing would have been levelled against him since the complainant was his girlfriend.

To prove that the lady was indeed his girlfriend, he urged the Judge to ask her why she left her panties in his house.

Mungo said;


"The complainant in this matter is my girlfriend. The items were found in my possession since we used to live together and we have been dating since we were in the university.
"Infact when the police came into my house l informed them they should take her clothes and shoes to court.
"I have seen how you conduct your proceedings. Ask them why they left the inner pants in my house. This is part of the evidence that should be used to acquit me."


The matter will be mentioned on January 31 for pretrial purposes.

How to get a boyfriend

Big shout out to my newest top fans!
I love you all
Gift Okpa

RIP King Pele

Newspaper Headline

God has a plan for your good, even if you’ve made mistakes and gone in wrong directions. Instead of spending your time regretting something you can’t do anything about, why not ask God to take all that stuff and let it make you smarter?

Have a pleasant day

What is the fastest way to calm a woman when she is angry?

What has changed ? When growing up, on a Christmas or New Year celebration day, our mothers will ask us to take food to our neighbours and our neighbours will do same to us. It was a communal show of love back in the days. We usually struggle for who will take the food to the neighbours because whenever you deliver such food, the neighbours will give you gift/money. Today, a lot of us don't even know the neighbour next door. Our fences are now higher than the great walls of China. Where there are no physical walls, we've built attitudinal walls. The attached picture to this post depict exactly how such food was delivered to our neighbours then!. Times have really changed indeed.

For me its the lashes lol

The Sagittarius bird, a member of the vulture family, found only in Africa. They use their powerful legs to kill their prey, most often snakes.

The Federal High Court sitting in Abuja, on Tuesday, sentenced the Inspector-General of Police, Usman Alkali Baba to three months in prison for disobeying a valid court order....

https://www.vanguardngr.com/2022/11/breaking-court-sentences-igp-to-3-months-in-prison

Kim Kardashian and Ye will "share joint legal custody" of their children and will "consult with one another on all major decisions relating to the minor children's health, education and welfare," according to the settlement.

Its the demonic spirit of prostitution for me 😂😂😂

Read all stories at vanguardngr.com

NOVEMBER 21 - HEADLINES

NOVEMBER 21 - PUNCH Sports Extra Headlines

"...And after a long time the boy came back again.
"I am sorry, Boy," said the tree, "but I have nothing left to give you-
My apples are gone."
"My teeth are too weak for apples," said the boy.
"My branches are gone," said the tree.
"You cannot swing on them-"
"I am too old to swing on branches," said the boy.
"My trunk is gone," said the tree.
"You cannot climb-"
"I am too tired to climb," said the boy.
"I am sorry," sighed the tree.
"I wish that I could give you something... but I have nothing left. I am an old stump. I am sorry..."
"I don't need very much now," said the boy, "just a quiet pleace to sit and rest. I am very tired."
"Well," said the tree, straightening herself up as much as she could,
"well, an old stump is a good for sitting and resting. Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest."
And the boy did.
And the tree was happy."
Shel Silverstein - The Giving Tree, 1964.

Lady jumps into the Lagoon weeks after being proposed to by her boyfriend.

Glory be to God, she was rescued by the DSS operative

It was gathered that the she had disembarked from a cab, headed towards the railing of the bridge and plunged into the water.

The Permanent Secretary, Lagos State Emergency Management Agency, Dr Olufemi Oke-Osanyintolu, who confirmed the incident in a situation report said the cab driver claimed the woman was having a heated conversation with her fiance before alighting from the vehicle.

November 3rd Headlines - Vanguard

November 3rd Headlines - The Punch Newspaper

BREAKING: Court orders FG to return Nnamdi Kanu to Kenya

A federal high court in Umuahia, Abia state, has ordered the federal government to return Nnamdi Kanu, leader of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB), to Kenya.

Kanu was extradited from the East African country to Nigeria in June 2021.

The court also ordered the government to pay Kanu N500 million as damages for his illegal abduction and violation of his fundamental human rights.

Mercedes-Benz to quit Russian market, sell shares to local investor Mercedes-Benz said on Wednesday it would withdraw from the Russian market and sell shares in its industrial and financial services subsidiaries to a local investor, becoming the latest carmaker to exit the country.

Would this new currency make us feel empowered?

Would the value of the N1000 note change even upon a new design

Can a new wine be put into an old wine skin and expect a flavorable taste

Is it the existing notes that is the problem or the economy?

I just hope we get our priorities right.

Whatsapp has been down

Hope you can use this time to talk with love ones close by.

Spread 🤍

WhatsApp don come back for your side?

How di one hour do you like?

May our week be fruitful and blessed

Responding to Ozekhome’s complaint, the judge asked the Director of Legal Services of the DSS to provide explanations to the issue.

“My Lord, clothes that were brought for the defendant had lion’s head embroiled on them, and the defendant (Mr Kanu) can’t wear clothes with a lion’s head,” he said.

The secret service’s lawyer explained that “clothes with lion’s head offend the standard operating procedures” of the SSS.

Bravo Kylian 💜

Well deserved victory