Practical Intimacy

Anyone else agree? 🔥😍

The quality of your conversation is determined by the quality of your questions.

These 7 questions can help.

(And if you want to go even deeper, check out this article for even more conversation starters and 14 proven ways to deepen emotional intimacy: https://practicalintimacy.com/how-to-build-emotional-intimacy-relationship/ )

New episode out today! 🎉 We went DEEP on all things emotional intimacy, s*x and relationships with on the THIS ONE LIFE podcast. ✨

🎧 Here’s just a snippet of what we covered:

🥰 what is emotional intimacy, and why it’s so damn important to your relationship AND your s*x life

🚧 the common blocks couples face when trying to connect

🗝 the key ingredients for a more connected relationship (with super practical steps to take all the guesswork out of it)

And SO much more.

Click here to listen 👉🏻 https://www.danielsob.de/40-intimacy-coaches-reveal-the-secret-for-better-s*x-deeper-connection-jodie-reece/

I think this may be my best-ever first date idea. Anyone else love this idea? 😆

Portugal Life 🇵🇹 - oh how we love you. 😍 Rugged, wild coastlines, amazing wine 🍷, historical, picturesque streets, oh-so-creamy desserts (iykyk), and outta-this-world delicious cuisine.⁠
⁠
Thanks for being our home (for now, anyway!)

🔥 Most couples wish there was more communication during s*x - but it can feel awkward AF trying to break the silence. Here are 10 authentic ways to express your desire, and bring more passion into the bedroom.

If you want more hot (but always practical) tips for how to create more passion, make sure you check out our whole article on How to Have Passionate S*x 👉🏻 https://practicalintimacy.com/how-to-have-passionate-s*x/

It can feel scary talking about s*x. And you don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings either. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want exactly. That’s why this simple conversation starter is so powerful.

✅ It keeps things positive by staying growth-focused

✅ You’re inviting your partner to be an ally

✅ You get to explore together - which means you don’t have to have it all figured out just yet.

Your answer might be anything from play, to pleasure, to connection, to desire.

Try this conversation starter, and see where it takes you!

And if you need help with the desired piece (or you wish you were having more s*x and arguing about it less) - we got you! Our online course Reignite Your Love Life is where it’s at.

Check out the link-in-bio to learn more, or simply comment / DM us the word MORE and we’ll send you a link.

💪🏻❤️ As we launch into a new year, have you thought about setting goals for your relationship? If you’re like most people, you’ll set goals for every other area of your life while completely overlooking one of THE biggest factors in your overall health, well-being and happiness: Your relationship. 🤯

Here are 7 goals you can set for your relationship in 2024 - grab the other 4 along with a deep dive into conscious relationship and conscious marriage over at the blog. 👉🏻

The key is knowing HOW to get there.

If you don’t have the right communication tools, conflict feels pointless, frustrating and hopeless.

But when you know how to fight right, conflict becomes worthwhile and meaningful (although always uncomfortable 😆)

When our clients have this breakthrough, it changes everything. They no longer feel scared of conflict - they embrace it, because the pot of gold at the end is worth it.

Want to know how to turn 💩 into 🍯? Our Conflict to Connection course is where it’s at. 👉🏻 https://bit.ly/3RkBNUI ✨

The start of the year is a great time to get intentional with your relationship.

Here’s what creating a Conscious Relationship means…

(And if you’re ready to build your own Conscious Relationship… ➡️ Comment VISION below 👇🏼 and we’ll send you our exclusive 4-page guide that shows you the exact steps.)

Have you heard of the concept of ‘Conscious Relationship’?

It might sound a lil' woo, but it’s really just about being INTENTIONAL with your relationship so that it can fulfill you in a variety of ways.

It’s helping you, your partner and your relationship be the very best you can be.

Want to know how to build a Conscious Relationship?

➡️ Comment VISION below 👇🏼 and we’ll send you our exclusive 4-page guide that shows you the exact steps.

❌ This is pretty controversial, but we don't even like the term ‘libido'. It keeps you looking in the wrong places for a solution - and it makes you feel broken while you’re doing it. 🤢

Instead, you need to learn how to manage desire in your relationship together 💪🏻 How? By addressing the hidden brakes that are getting in the way, and learning how to press each other’s accelerators at the right time. 🚀

Not to mention creating what we like to call, S*xy Contexts. 🔥💋😎

(If you’re ready to work as a team to reignite desire in your relationship, AND build a thriving s*x life together, our Reignite Your Love Life course is perfect for you.) 👌🏻

Learn more here 👉🏻 https://bit.ly/47Fe8pD

'Fixing' is probably THE most common, well intentioned mistakes we see couples make. And ftr - BOTH partners do it.

Heck, we still fall into fix it mode in our own marriage, and we literally teach this stuff. 😅

If your partner starts fixing, give them a gentle clarification. "I appreciate you trying to solve this for me, but what I need most right now is someone to just listen while I vent."

As the listener, check in first and ask, "Do you want help finding solutions to this, or do you just want me to listen?"

If there’s one thing I love about this time of year, it’s the slowing down for quality time together. (Even if you’re far away and talking over FaceTime like we’re doing 😆 - it still counts).

Here are some questions to help you get the most out of your time together…

Emotional intimacy isn't just a ‘nice to have’. It’s an essential. How many of these signs are present in your relationship?

1-3 = 💙

4-6 = 💜

7-9 = ❤️

Last minute gift givers - we got you!

As minimalists, we find it really challenging to buy gifts for people. (Fun fact: We don’t actually exchange gifts in our own marriage. Not even at birthdays, except for very rare occasions).

But we know that gift giving is an important part of the Holiday Season for many people, and there are lots of occasions where you need to gift a physical something to the people you care about. But what?

Here’s how the 5 Love Languages can help.

This is so helpful.

"If you’re inviting someone to your home and they’re grieving, be sure you’re inviting their grief to attend, too. It will be there, anyway.

Don’t invite someone with the goal of cheering them up for the holidays. Don’t expect them to put on a happy face in your home. Don’t demand they fake it til they make it or do something they don’t want to do, either.

“I know this season is extra hard and your heart is hurting. You and your grief are welcome in our home. Come as you are, we’d be honored to have you with us.”

It’s also incredibly loving to honor the reality that it’s often hard for grieving folks to know what they will want, need, be up for, or able to tolerate at the holidays.

Giving them an invite without the need for commitment and permission to change their mind is extra loving."

Read the entire beautiful post below. 👇🏻

Holiday host etiquette: If you’re inviting someone to your home and they’re grieving, be sure you’re inviting their grief to attend, too. It will be there, anyway.

Don’t invite someone with the goal of cheering them up for the holidays. Don’t expect them to put on a happy face in your home. Don’t demand they fake it til they make it or do something they don’t want to do, either.

Invite them with the loving intention of offering cheer and companionship and unconditional care during the holidays. To do this, you will need to honor and be responsive to their needs and emotions.

You can do this by privately acknowledging their grief when you make the invitation:

“I know this season is extra hard and your heart is hurting. You and your grief are welcome in our home. Come as you are, we’d be honored to have you with us.”

It’s also incredibly loving to honor the reality that it’s often hard for grieving folks to know what they will want, need, be up for, or able to tolerate at the holidays.

Giving them an invite without the need for commitment and permission to change their mind is extra loving:

“You don’t have to decide right now. If it feels good to be with us, we will have plenty of food and love for you-just show up! I’ll check in again the day before to see if you’re feeling up to coming over and if there’s anything you’d like me to know about how we can support you.”

Your grieving friends and fam need attentive care and responsiveness at the holidays, not plans to keep them busy, distracted, and happy.

If they’re laughing, laugh with them.

If they’re weeping, ask if they’d like your company or your help finding a quiet place to snuggle up alone for awhile.

If they’re laughing while weeping, and this is more common than you’d think, stay with them - this is a precious moment of the human experience that is truly sacred.

We don’t need to protect ourselves or each other from grief at the holidays. In fact, the more we embrace grief as an honored holiday guest, the more healthy, happy, and whole our holidays will be. 🙏

Sarah Nannen

If the holiday season is about anything, it’s about THIS.

Slow down and let yourself off the hook this month. No matter how your year is wrapping up, know that you’re enough.

And whatever chance you can get, hold your people close and tell 'em you love them. (That includes saying it to YOU too).

TRUTHS from @‌melrobbins 🙌🏻

This one’s for our old school fans - we’re bringing back . 🐈😍😉

🍦 It’s helpful to think of passionate s*x as having lots of different flavors:

It might be spicy, it might be sweet, it might be dark and intense. The common factor is feeling enthusiastically wanted. And depending on your personal preferences, what that means will be unique to you.

And just like ice cream, you get to mix and match your favorite flavors however you like.

What’s your favorite flavor? 😉

I mean, I know this marriage is worth it - but why can’t I? 🥺

If building a loving, healthy relationship is important to you, know that you CAN do it. Your past doesn’t have to be your future.

Don't let past experience scare you off.

‘S*x drive’ is a myth - and yet people still expect desire to strike out of nowhere. ⚡️

So how does desire REALLY work?

Keeping with the car metaphor 🚗 😆 you have a brake (your turn OFFs) and an accelerator (your turn ONs).

Wanna know the most common brake of all?

Stress. 😫

So if you’re wondering where your desire has gone, don’t blame your faulty s*x drive or your low libido.

Instead, get curious about what might be hitting the brakes - and whether or not you and your partner are hitting the right accelerators.

(Want step-by-step help with that? Check out our at-home study course, Reignite Your Love Life. https://practicalintimacy.com/reignite-your-love-life/ )

Getting complacent in a relationship is easy to do, because essentially it’s about doing nothing. And we all find it super easy to do nothing. 😆

But here’s the irony of complacency 🤯 – it comes from a good place.

Complacency reflects feeling so satisfied and secure that you think you don’t need to try any harder. That your relationship is healthy and functioning, so it’s OK to set it to Cruise Control.

Complacency can also be a good indication that you feel emotionally safe with one another.

Which is lovely and romantic… ☣️ if it wasn’t such a death sentence.

Your relationship requires daily strengthening and attention (or at least MOST days).

Which is why these 5 mindset shifts are so important - they’ll help protect against the corrosive effects of complacency, so your relationship thrives for the long term.

Read the full article over on our blog: https://practicalintimacy.com/avoid-complacency-in-a-relationship/

A lack of safety and trust creates huge problems in a relationship - but even great relationships can struggle with this.

Is it safe to be vulnerable? Will you genuinely listen to my complaints or fears? Will you accept me and all the ways I think I’m unlovable or not enough?

It’s not a question of whether or not your partner is trustworthy (we’re hoping they are) - it’s a question of how well you create a culture of emotional safety and trust - TOGETHER.

It’s turning towards each other in the little moments.

It’s handling conflict with healthy communication and empathy.

It’s celebrating and respecting the ways that you’re different.

It’s sharing appreciation and love on a regular basis.

It’s understanding your own triggers, and each other’s, and knowing how to treat them with compassion and care.

Creating a culture of safety and trust is a now-and-forever kinda thing - and it makes everything else in your relationship so much easier.

I didn’t want any, until I saw yours… 😂

Just love me.

If you're struggling with resentment in your relationship, you need to read this. 😔

Resentment gets in the way of everything beautiful about a relationship - and research shows it can actually make you physically sick too - so it's a top priority to fix. 🤕

📖💕Swipe for our mini-blog to get you started, then get the deep-dive over here: https://practicalintimacy.com/how-to-fix-resentment-in-marriage/

Most couples approach this all wrong... (Any of this sound familiar?)

❌ Trying to do the right ‘moves’ to ignite your partner’s desire, so they want you, and want it, and you tear each other’s clothes off.

⚠ Why it’s a problem - the ‘moves’ can feel like a cheap trick after a while, and can actually turn your partner OFF. And they put a lot of pressure on you to perform too - ick 🤢

❌ Thinking you (or your partner) have to be turned ON in order to get started

⚠️ Most people will experience RESPONSIVE DESIRE at some point in their life, which means you have to feel pleasure FRIST, then the desire shows up. (For most women, this is how they experience desire all the time).

❌ Having expectations on what intimacy looks like (aka making it all about pe*******on)

⚠️ The less goal oriented you are, the easier physical intimacy becomes. Expectation = pressure = no desire.

❌ Thinking that the higher desire (HD) partner has ‘normal’ desire - and the lower desire (LD) partner has a broken s*x drive.

⚠️ We could make a whole TED talk about this one, but the key takeaway is this: You’re both normal, no one’s broken - you just haven’t cracked the code for managing the HD / LD dynamic yet.

So instead, we recommend this healthy approach to initiating. It’s a HUGE mindset shift, that requires a lot of patience and open-mindedness - but we promise it will change your life. 🤯

And if you want the full breakdown for how to master the Higher Desire / Lower Desire dynamic in your relationship (or how to rock this approach to initiating) our Reignite Your Love Life course is puuuurrfect for you. (It’s a home study program, completely confidential, and at only $147, it’s a steal)

🔥 Learn more here: https://practicalintimacy.com/reignite-your-love-life/

Pinch me - I'm quoted in The New York Times as a relationship expert. 🎉

With all the writing and media work we've done over the last 10 years of running our biz, this has always been THE dream publication.

Next goal: Get our book reviewed there. Working on it! 😆

Check out the awesome round-up here, for 7 books that will help future-proof your relationship: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/15/well/family/relationship-books.html?unlocked_article_code=1.-kw.UFO_.5oESVlAXTEKk&smid=url-share

I didn't know who I was anymore...

It was my default relationship pattern for years: I’d rock ‘me’ for a while, then quickly lose myself in whatever relationship I was head-over-heels in.

Which was worrying, considering I was a serial monogamist in back-to-back relationships from the age of 16.

So when I finally paused and reflected over 8 years later, it wasn’t just a few months or years that I’d been losing myself, it was almost an entire DECADE.

I didn't know what I wanted from life, where I was headed, or even how I wanted to dress anymore. (Seriously, I'd begun to dress like my ex, and people literally laughed at us in the street, we looked SO similar).

There were things I wanted for myself but I was scared to speak up for fear of disapproval. I was completely enmeshed with him, and I had no idea what to do.

Until I learnt how to 'differentiate'.

Differ-what?

How to have clear boundaries, prioritizing my relationship with myself, while also maintaining a relationship with my partner.

How to lovingly take a stand for myself, while still respecting the differences of my partner.

And how the two of us integrated together, as separate, unique individuals in an interdependent relationship.

Check out this blog to learn more about what it takes to find yourself again (even while you're IN a relationship).

~ Jodie