Dr. Sumer Ledet, Psychologist

He was yelling and cussing up a storm!

Yesterday, at my contract job, where I work with patients who are not guilty by reason of insanity, the staff members were frustrated by an angry patient. He was threatening and demanding and disrespectful to them, so it was understandable!

As I approached him, I asked what was upsetting him. After he gave me the story, I asked him again to help me understand by going deeper into his story. When he was done, I asked him to clarify a few points so I could totally understand his concerns. I repeated it back to him again and asked, “Do I understand what happened?” 4 times, y’all!

With each clarification, he could see that I was not only taking him seriously but respecting him as a human being. With each repetition and clarification, he spoke in a lower tone of voice and more slowly.

With each repetition, I truly WAS able to better understand his position and perception. Whether or not his position was accurate was NOT the point at this stage.

He needed to be heard and understood to process his anger. I verbalized my understanding of his feelings once I did, in fact, understand them.

Only then was he able to truly hear the parts of the story that he was missing. Only then was a resolution possible.

Anger is a valid emotion that must be processed. Ignoring it or stuffing it not only doesn’t work, it makes us resentful, explosive, or depressed.

Give me a heart if you agree that going SLOWER and listening more is helpful in diffusing anger EVEN WITH OUR KIDS. ❤️❤️

So this sweet face burst into tears yesterday when I told him he was playing soccer. “No!!!!! I told you to sign me up for swimming!!!”

I sat down next to him and said, “Quinn, tell momma WHY you don’t want to play soccer. What is it about soccer that you don’t like?”

After many prompts, he explained, “My shoes hurt.”

I asked if there was anything else he didn’t like about soccer, and he said no.

Sure enough, at the end of last season, his cleats were too small, and his feet were hurting.😭

I assured him that he could wear any shoes he thought would be most comfortable to practice, and we would let him pick out cleats that were perfectly comfortable this weekend.

The end. All smiles.

The moral of the story is … don’t jump to conclusions or reassurances. It’s so tempting to say, “You’ll be fine! It will be fun!”

Get to the root of the problem. Sometimes, there might just be a simple fix.

Thank you Jesus for giving me this beautiful child and for the nudge to get to the root of the problem. Thank you Jesus for the joy of a simple fix. ❤️❤️

Found out I was pregnant 6 years 8 months ago. I could never have imagined the wild ride I would go on since that 5am pregnancy test!

You’ll be 6 on Saturday!

Two+ days of active labor, a full year of terrible sleep, tantrums out the w***o during the terrible threes.

Your arrival rocked me from the inside out. Your arrival forced me to grow up and quit being selfish. Your arrival taught me to stay when I wanted to run. Your arrival taught me about true, unconditional love.

You are smart, witty, kind, generous, curious, playful, loving, creative. Every day, I watch in awe as your body changes and morphs right before my eyes. I mean, where did these little muscles come from? Where did my baby go?

Tomorrow isn’t promised. The passage of time, marked my birthdays and changing bodies, is a gift from above that forces me to WAKE UP to the now that is here, today. Thank you Jesus for the marks that time leaves to remind me to stay present.

Today, this baby is sick. He is snoring beside me as I type this.

I am so grateful for the changes I’ve made to my life, schedule, and health that allow me to be intimately aware of and connected to his needs on a day like this. I GET to take care of my sick baby, and it is such a precious gift.

My poor baby was sick last night. This is the exact type of situation that used to ruin me. Tears, anxiety, even anger. I couldn’t handle feeling out of control. I remember Lance telling me to “take a minute” during bath one time when I was totally freaking out. Racing thoughts can be overwhelming, ya know?

Proof that growth and change happens - Last night, I lay peaceful and care taking. Yes, I cleaned vomit and took temps.

I was present though. Really present. Available. Loving. Breathing. Supporting. Trusting.

This morning, I am so grateful for fever that broke, and a boy who is begging me to get dinosaurs off brother’s shelf.

If you find yourself overwhelmed and privately tortured by fear and racing thoughts, please know there is another way. You can evolve into the present, joyful, and trusting person you yearn to be.

It is possible for you too! The show isn’t over yet, sis!

Summertime social media detox was MUCH needed. It was everything from hard and painful to annoying and tempting to glorious and spacious and free. I had so much fun and relaxation with my boys…well, it took me a month to calm my butt down … but, once I did we had tons of fun and relaxation! So glad I was present with them this summer. It was good for my marriage, my mothering, and for continuing to heal from the depths of my delicate lil’ soul. I’ve had the fewest headaches in the last 4 weeks than I’ve had in the last 6 years! NO LIE! Can’t wait to share what I’ve been learning 😘😘

If you want to work together email me @ [email protected] …. Summertime social media detox in progress!!!! Time to rejuvenate and be present ❤️ Have a blessed summer!

I'm about to keep it so real I'm shooketh 😂

I hate the term self-care.
It makes it sounds like a “nice" thing to do for yourself. Let me assure you it isn't.

What are the consequences of NOT finding a way to have peace & contentment this year?

For many, it is their marriage. They feel resentment building, avoidance and numbness growing, despairing thoughts of divorce brewing.
Is this you?

For others, it is fear of NEVER being able to get off of the medication they started months ago or years ago to get you through a tough time that never seemed to let up.
Is this you?

For still others, the consequences are feelings of guilt and regret when it comes to parenting. Maybe it is working too much OR being home but being so distracted you don't know your *ss from your elbow. You hate yourself for it, but can't find your way out.
Is this you?

The consequences could be your physical health. It could literally mean a shorter life or terrible quality of life if you have developed diabetes, hypertension, autoimmune conditions, insomnia, fibromyalgia, migraine headaches (like me), thyroid conditions, or obesity.
Is this you?

Do you see?

There isn't time to waste. Your body is responding to the stress, and your kids are getting bigger every day.
Time is NOT stopping for you to figure things out.

I NEED you to know the facts. You are worthy of wellness because you are a daughter of Jesus Christ. You are made in his image. We MUST respect both our interior and exterior castles ❤️

If there are consequences showing up in YOUR life, then please either do my program OR do another thing that gets your closer to your goal of freedom from anxiety and increased peace and ease this year.

Your life depends on it. This is so much more than a “nice” thing to do for yourself. Don't write it off.

The Break Free Blueprint program happens to be both comprehensive and convenient. You get EVERYTHING you need in ONE place. I am an actual expert, with a royal buttload of training 😂 I have lived this transformation personally and continue to do so EVERY DANG DAY, albeit imperfectly.

In other words, I’ve got you girl…will you allow me to earn your trust over time?

48 hours left to enroll in the Break Free Blueprint!!!! I’m available for questions and chat chat all day today!!

DM me to see if this might be what you’ve been looking for to find peace and ease this year ❤️❤️❤️

FOR CATHOLIC MOMS WITH ANXIETY ❤️❤️

Let’s walk together toward a courageous, values-guided life where you feel FREE from the chains of anxiety! You can do it with the daily support inside this program 🥰

You are everything I’ve ever wanted. I thank God every day that he gave you to me. I am amazed.

I can’t wait to spend the summer with you. I want to laugh with you. I want to listen to music and eat snacks and watch movies and enjoy life with you. You are so precious. I truly don’t want to miss a thing.

That said, I’m closing up shop on Friday until August 20th. I’ll be on a social media detox. Email me at [email protected] if you want to work together.

Enrollment for the Break Free Blueprint closes on Friday, May 20th, too! 2 spots left! Catholic Yoga starts this Thursday!!! It’s a GREAT week to join.

Say YES to your DEEP rejuvenating mental reset right alongside me and the entire community this summer!! Now is the time to not miss a thing 😘

In times of rapid change, we feel two things. FEAR + UNCERTAINTY. This combo can be dangerous.

Why? Because sometimes FEAR + UNCERTAINTY = PARALYSIS.

This year has brought unknowns and changes at every level - our health, our work, our income, our schedules, our parenting. Throw in your real life on top of that, and you might be facing divorce, layoff, health crisis, or death of a loved one.

I know you want to fix it. You want to make it better. The “right” move seems so overwhelming that you need a nap. Perhaps, you’ve spent more time in bed than you’d like to admit. Enter the “paralysis” I mentioned earlier.

I was listening to a podcast yesterday, and some guy was asking whether or not he “deserved” success in his business. The podcast host said, “Whether you deserve it or not is irrelevant.” He was like, say whaattttt? She said, business does not care about whether you deserve success. All you can control is your effort. The outcome is not for you to control.

This hit home.

You want to control the outcome, but all you can control is your effort.

Well, almost all….

You can control 3 things: your effort, your actions, and your mindset.

… and that’s exactly what the Break Free Blueprint is all about. We do this transformational work with a village of support and a step-by-step roadmap.

2 spots left!!! Enrollment closes next Friday the 20th at 11am. DM for details 😘 You deserve peace and ease in 2022.

The Darkness of Disconnection

I am lost at sea. No one is coming to get me. I am alone. It is empty here. I am terrified. I could die here. I call out but no one hears. I am still. I stay quiet. I scream out in anger. I cry. I wale. I weep.

The screen unseen separates us.

The separation is painful, but numbness takes over.

Sometimes, briefly, I am able to climb through a crack, and I smile, and it is warm. But I know the waves will pull me back, and I will see only through the screen once more.

Dear Friend,

If you are in the darkness now and you feel hopeless, know that you are seen, loved, and worthy. Remember, darkness comes in seasons and is not a permanent state. Help is available.

When you feel moments of warmth, know that the sun is close and you may bask in it soon if you just hold on. There is always light after darkness. Right on the other side of the worst moment of your life is something more beautiful that you could have imagined. Your perseverance will be rewarded. Just hold on.

Love, Dr Sumer Ledet

From anxious and ashamed to peaceful and proud - that’s the journey inside the Break Free Blueprint! Freedom from anxiety = present parenting and peaceful marriage :)

Look at how far you have come!

Juggling family responsibilities, health challenges, work, parenting, being a wife, don't forget a global pandemic...it isn’t a job for the faint of heart.

Every day, you are learning!

You are doing better and better at being kind to yourself on the hard days instead of beating yourself up and throwing fuel on the fire.

You are remembering to breathe and take a moment before speaking, especially when your kids are challenging or when you are in a difficult work situation.

You are starting to see that you can face and survive the hardest of conversations when it means setting boundaries that are good for you and your family.

You are living your life more in line with your values each day. Maybe you are getting home from work a little earlier, putting your phone down during dinner, carving out time to read or walk, sleeping more instead of Netflixing more.

You see? You are growing!

Maybe you picked up on this, but I'm sharing with you some of the messages I need to hear on hard days. The good news is we can give these messages to ourselves!

Remember, every difficult season becomes part of your story.

How do you want to tell the story of this season when it is over?

Nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary.

You can do this hard thing in a way you feel proud of.

I know that sometimes you feel overwhelmed and lost. You feel broken. You wonder why life feels so hard. Why others make it look so easy. Why other people seem to have enough energy, seem to remember the schedule and be on time, seem to actually like their spouse.

You feel alone. You judge yourself because you know the “right” way to be, but you can’t do what you “should” … like your thoughts and body just will NOT cooperate.

Nobody gets it. You know you shouldn’t expect people to get it, but it still hurts when they don’t. You just want someone to see you … to really see you … your struggle … your heart.

I know some days hurt. I know some days the fatigue and sadness is so thick you can hardly stand. Some days you wonder if your heart will explode from stress.

It can be tempting to avoid, to “power through,” to stay a bit hardened and angry, to numb out maybe with alcohol or tv or sleep. Maybe you fake it and smile. Maybe you stomp around pi**ed. Maybe you weep when no one is watching.

If there was a simple solution, you would have done it, fixed it, figured it out. This adulting stuff is tough. It’s hard as hell. So many people are impacted by your choices, your health. The pressure mounts.

I see you.

You are not alone. Not now. Not ever.

You are loved, whether or not you feel it from your partner in this moment.

You are perfectly made and oh-so-beautiful.

Your life has a purpose. Your gifts are meant to be shared.

Your flaws and imperfections tell a story. A story of survival, of perseverance, of life lived.

Remember…You have choices, even when you feel trapped. You can’t change the past, you can’t bring back a loved one, you can’t undo a devastating event…but you can be present.

You can breathe nice and slow. You can be still. You can check in and keep it real with yourself. You can remind yourself who you are and who you want to be. You can be kind to you.

Your next move is a choice. Choose with intention.

Avoiding is a choice. Not choosing is a choice. Not resting is a choice. Skipping lunch is a choice.

Ready to choose bravely? Choose through discernment. Choose wisely. Time is of the essence.

I’ve never felt a greater moment of relief in my entire life than when he peed on me as the midwife handed him to me after 2+ days of labor.

I felt fiercely protective, but there wasn’t much more to my experience – emotionally I kind of disappeared. I did not want to be alone, ever, which is not like me.

My body felt weird and soft and bulky. I didn't recognize it.

When I was awake, I felt like I could never stop working. Baby clothes are so tiny, and so much fits in the wash – I’ll never forget this realization. The laundry never stops.

I was nursing, day and night. Fatigue mounted.

I was incredibly paranoid he would stop breathing. I made him wear a breathing monitor 24 hours a day for many months past when such a device is appropriate.

My husband had no idea what the heck was going on. He would give me a “nap” for several hours in the evening, but often several hours turned into one hour if the baby started crying. I didn’t understand then that I could set firm boundaries and be clear with my needs in this area.

I washed the clothes and cooked and did dishes and worked and took care of the baby. I felt angry and alone. I got a ton of headaches.

I did not feel like myself. I had no idea who I was anymore. I felt pressure, fear, anger & confusion.

I was in this in-between space of yearning for my old life because I understood it and and loving my new baby with every fiber of myself and never wanting to take my eyes off of him.

To avoid constant overwhelming upset, I avoided – everything.

I became a shell of myself. I was showing up and going through the motions, never missing a beat, but I was totally disconnected.

This is a snippet of my story of postpartum anxiety over 5 years ago.

This is anxiety, y'all. This is struggle. This is raw. This is human.

Sometimes you don't see it clearly until someone you trust points it out.

I was in the trenches.

Are you in the trenches now? Click the link in bio for my free minicourse if so. HTTPS://www.sumerledet.com/minicourseregistration

This student raves about our MP3 library! One of the perks to joining our community is that you get lifetime access to an evidence-based set of handcrafted MP3 audio exercises taking you on a practical journey through what you are learning to help you master and assimilate the knowledge without having to memorize a thing! Repetition leads to doing the work in your real life on autopilot!! You can do this too!!

One of the things that makes the Break Free Blueprint different is that, because I am a psychologist, I understand that true and lasting change doesn’t happen in isolation. As a result, I’ve designed the entire experience to be immersive and community oriented. Students communicate daily inside our private Slack community as well as facilitated discussions inside our live groups. But…this student is celebrating our very special small peer group connections called pods. This is where students meet without an expert in groups of 2-4 community members to provide love, support, and accountability to one another. Most importantly, this is where students form true friendships that extend beyond the program and begin to believe in their heart that they are truly not alone.

Ever been down the rabbit hole of beating yourself up 'till you give up? Ever worked so hard that you needed to escape into the sunset but that was impossible because of the small and sometimes insanity-provoking humans that never seem to leave you alone?

If you've been having the itch for change that brings peace & purpose in your marriage, in your home, or at work, you have to watch this minicourse. It’s FREE!

You can't change them, but you can find out the essential components to creating your own courageous, values-guided life where anxiety is no longer in charge. Register now and change everything. Let’s make magic in 2022! HTTPS://www.sumerledet.com/minicourseregistration

I know it's been rough.

You may be feeling overwhelmingly sad from grief. Maybe you are trying to figure out how to help your struggling child in school. Maybe your old therapist is no longer available, and you don't know who to talk to. Maybe you feel like you should be over “it” (insert hard thing you went through) by now, and you are frustrated that you are still struggling.

Sometimes, you may feel alone, misunderstood, judged, or invisible. It could be that you wonder if you are broken, if YOU are THE PROBLEM in the situation. This may make you feel confused. Maybe you feel like you can't “burden” anyone you love with your worries.

maybe you are tired from being split in 18 directions. Maybe you can't focus on any one thing because your mind never stops. Analysis paralysis. Stuck. Distracted.

First, I'm here to say:

1) You are not alone.

2) Every human has basic needs.

3) It is valid to have difficult feelings.

Second, lady, while I acknowledge all of your awesomeness, badassery, and fierce independence, and believe me - I SEE YOU - I hate to be the one to tell you this, BUT….

YOU ARE HUMAN.

YOU HAVE LIMITS.

YOU NEED REST.

Yep, I went and said it. Imagine explosion GIF here; I'd insert it if I knew how, LOL.

So, here's what I propose. Next time you feel overwhelmed, super sad, or alone, tell someone you love and trust. LET THEM LOVE YOU. OPEN YOUR HEART AND RECEIVE IT. (Another explosion GIF!)

Next time you are feeling tired or burnt out, ask for help. Notice the guilt, the feeling of being a burden, the desire to avoid, and ASK ANYWAY. Be specific. “Can you please help me with the dishes right now?” “I'd like to take a bath. Can you bathe the kids tonight?" Don't ask for something in the future. Ask specifically for what you need here and now.

And, finally, don't forget to notice what you need. Dear busy woman, if you are hungry, EAT. If you are tired, SLEEP. If your eyes hurt from the screen, GO OUTSIDE.

I'm in it with you. I've got your back. You really are the bomb. I'm determined to keep saying that despite what my husband says, LOL!

Love hearing when a student sees her momentum building and continues to embrace and trust more and more as she watches herself grow!! Lights me up BIG!! Love my students and thank God for them every day❤️❤️❤️

Love when a student is willing to lean in and trust, even when it’s scary and uncomfortable! And this was from the FREE mini-course linked in bio 😲🤩

Happy Friday!!!

💯 this ain’t no college class…

enjoying the mundane and reconnecting with family…finding joy In the little things ❤️❤️❤️ I live for this! Are you next?! Founding members discount is live and special secret bonus available until tomorrow 9am CST. Message me “bonus” for details!

It’s okay to let others know when you are not ok. This student experienced deep freedom from the bo***ge of anxiety when she was able to strip away shame and shoulds and embrace vulnerability and support ❤️❤️ this is EVERYTHING! You can have this too!!!! Freedom is found on the other side of willingness. Are you next?

I think my husband’s head was about to explode from 48 hours of word vomit.

Oh wait. Not just him.

My mom, my dad, my grad school buddy, two local psychologists, one local psychiatrist, and did I mention my hubby?

Sometimes, it takes a village.

In my defense, I was presented with an irresistible offer!

But....

The role was going to lead me down a road I’ve been before. A road that was neither fulfilling nor enjoyable.

On the other hand....

The allure of the money had me feeling stuck.

I mean, I could pay off student debt!

I would have money to invest in my passion project – serving YOU!

We could move forward on home improvements more quickly!

Oh, the torture of this decision!

Have you ever been there?
..At a crossroads where one road is so alluring it threatens to pull you off the path that you know in your gut to be RIGHT for YOU?

I was rationalizing with myself...

“This will make our lives better. Easier. More convenient.”

But, deep in my intuition, I allowed the truth to emerge.

SO...

Ultimately, I said NO. But, it was hard & unclear.

I had to get quiet...

Here is the thing...Different people had different opinions.

I had to tune in to MYSELF.

Have you ever been at a crossroads where you had to say no to something that seemed amazing on the surface?

I want you to know that you can do what's best for YOU by allowing yourself to sit in discomfort, not avoiding it! You have to go through it and get quiet. Embrace the journey, and be curious about what your inner wise women and the good Lord have to say about it.

Succeeding in this situation did NOT mean that it was EASY for me. So many people think that things get EASY when they are doing well mentally. NO...it just means you are WILLING to sit in the difficult moments, tune in, and make choices that are aligned with the women you are called to become.

Everything you are created to become is found on the other side of your willingness to journey toward it, even when it’s hard.

Want help on the journey? That’s what I’m here for!!! Secret bonus available till Friday…shhhhhh…message me for details or apply at link in bio ❤️

Sharing student wins this week!! And we are just getting started! The program is being live recorded all summer!! As a founding member, you get a discount on pricing and an amazing bonus suite. Until Friday, I’m offering a CRAZY bonus. DM if you want to know what it is. It only takes 90 seconds to apply!

student testimonial! Worried about being in a group? Read this! This is the biggest compliment I could pray for - to make my students feel safe. I do not take my role to keep the community safe lightly. It is a top priority to respect each student and to provide a learning environment where they feel seen and honored. Bearing witness to a person’s journey as they do the hard, brave stuff is one of my greatest honors on this earth, seriously. I’m so blessed.