Anjuna Maitland Pilates & Massage

I get comments on here sometimes from people who don't understand, people who get upset about some of the things I say. They vary of course but the underlying theme is always the same...

'You should be grateful for your children!'

When I had my first son I went through a difficult time, having previously lost our first pregnancy, a little girl diagnosed with conditions incompatible with life, I put myself under a lot of pressure to be the perfect mum (and yes I do feel very uneasy writing that in a Facebook post).

'I should be so grateful!' I thought. 'I am so lucky to have a beautiful baby, some people never get this opportunity.'

But I didn’t always feel grateful. Some days it felt so hard. I made myself sick with the overwhelming guilt that I was not doing a good enough job, that I was not a good enough mum. I thought there was something wrong with me.

And soon enough there was... I developed severe insomnia and anxiety and started having panic attacks.

What could have helped me?

It would have helped if I had felt less alone, It would have helped it I knew other people had those feelings too, It would have helped if I could have seen through the glossy magazines and happy, smiley Instagram photos and found an honest voice.

Different things allow different people to cope but this much I now know:-

1. Telling other people how they ‘should’ think, or how they ‘should’ feel is bloody dangerous.
2. Being grateful 24/7 is unrealistic and exhausting.
3. It's ALWAYS better to talk. Talking and asking for help can help prevent depression and anxiety before they become serious problems.
4. Occasionally wanting to eBay your child does not make you a bad person. It just makes you as painfully human as the rest of us.
5. There is no such thing as ‘the perfect mum’.
6. Everybody is winging it.
7. You are doing a brilliant job (trust me).

This week is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week, it is so important! Please pass this on to any mum (old or new) who needs to hear it. Thank you.

Happy Friday lovely people - here's a great theory we can all get on board with.

On the joys of a 4pm gin Lucy Dunn was always rubbish at me-time, until she had an epiphany. In partnership with Clinique

What's on your "happy playlist"? I've been trying to get more music & movement into my life lately. It's definitely helping the "happy hormones". Which tracks would you save from the waves on your desert island? 🏝💿🎵

Happy Thanks, a playlist by fearnecottonofficial on Spotify Songs to give thanks

Oxytocin sure is a miracle worker! My new favourite magazine "Psychologies" certainly talks sense. If you need a feel-good-boost this week come & see me for some Hot Stones TLC tomorrow 🙌🏻

We all feel great after a massage, right? But how many of us allow ourselves the time to have a regular treatment? Maybe it's more essential & powerful than we realise.

"If your low-serotonin activity is making you feel too rushed to read this post, I'll just spoil the surprise right here and tell you the punch-line. The four ways to boost serotonin activity are sunlight, massage, exercise, and remembering happy events. At this point feel free to return to your stressful life, or keep reading for a more in depth look."

Come & test this theory with me at Jaynespa, ideally located in the town centre, with free parking, as well as an online booking and payment facility. You can find full details http://jaynespaandacademy.co.uk - or drop me a line.

Boosting Your Serotonin Activity 4 ways to boost your serotonin!

It's so hard to stay on top of our nutrition when we're busy, stressed & anxious, but perhaps more important than we realise. Psychologist Julia Rucklidge's research suggests "that vitamins and minerals, otherwise known as micronutrients, are beneficial in treating mental illness, which isn’t surprising considering the food we eat on a daily basis helps to build the neurotransmitters our bodies need to support mental health"

Could nutrition improve mental health better than prescription drugs? “Depression” is a word that we throw around a lot and many people may not realize the weight it carries, especially in today’s world. The kind of depression that people many times use out of context may describe the normal ups-and-downs and the fleeting emotions of everyday life. What is it? Depress...

Does "the whole ‘stiff upper lip’ British style" hinder when it comes to talking about mental health? Have the Americans got it right "talking freely and unashamedly about seeing a therapist (unless of course that is only true in the movies?)"

Or the Danish "making Hygge (enjoying life’s simple pleasures) a pivotal part of their daily life. We can learn so much from these other cultures and I hope, one day, we British will feel able to talk much more freely about mental health issues and treatments."

Why I’m no longer ashamed of the “D” word When I read earlier this week that Fearne Cotton has opened up about her struggle with depression I wanted to high-five her. You see, I know first-hand just how much having celebrities talk about t…

I named my anxiety Clive and it changed my life Carolyn Tate decided to give her anxiety a name, and in the process stumbled upon a way to feel a whole lot better.

"Mind in a Jar": Teach Mindfulness to Your Kids - Left Brain Buddha The "Mind in a Jar" exercise is a great way to teach mindful breathing to help children calm down.

This Simple 3 Ingredient Recipe Helps You Fall Asleep In MINUTES Say goodbye to insomnia! Instead of tossing and turning at night, the simple 3 ingredient recipe will help you to relax and fall asleep in minutes...

I for one appreciate the honest people in life 🙅🏻

Instagram photo by @brummymummyof2 • Jan 31, 2017 at 6:55pm UTC See this Instagram photo by • 202 likes

Instagram photo by Quility • Feb 1, 2017 at 12:07pm UTC See this Instagram photo by • 25 likes

In Pain? Try This Mindfulness Exercise Chronic pain affects more people in the US than diabetes, heart disease, and cancer combined: more than 100 million adults. Mindfulness exercises can help.

It's easy to rush through the day without taking a moment to actually notice your surroundings. I'm trying to walk more mindfully - noticing my steps, the ground beneath me, the air, the sky. Have you tried this today?

Self compassion is certainly not one of my talents. Especially in times of distress. I'm going to try this....who's with me?

World

Over 9 million Americans use sleeping pills, and Women are twice as likely to use them as Men! According to a study done at Harvard Medical School in Boston, Yoga is an effective treatment for trouble sleeping "because it addresses insomnia's physical and psychological aspects". So, try out these 5 yoga poses before bed with some deep breathing, and have sweet dreams! 🌙🌟

Back to the beginning....

Pilates for Beginners - Beginner Pilates Mat Exercises In this 30 minute Pilates for Beginners video, Jessica goes over the basics of Pilates and takes you through a great workout. Modifications and explanations ...

Anyone fancy an alternative Bookclub? A new recipe to try & rate each week....it's Omega 3 "fish Friday" for me 🐟 what's on your menu?

Home - Rachel Kelly "The Happy Kitchen: Good Mood Food" New Book by Rachel Kelly "My new book is about eat­ing to stay calm and well. 'The Happy Kitch­en: Good Mood Food' is pub­lished by Short Books. I'm so ex­cited! I've writt­en it with the won­der­ful nut­rition­ist Alice Mac­kintosh. Togeth­er...

Fascinating. The only housekeeping that really matters....keeping the "elegant machinery of your brain" clean & healthy. Looking after it now, to preserve your future mental & physical health.

One more reason to get a good night's sleep The brain uses a quarter of the body's entire energy supply, yet only accounts for about two percent of the body's mass. So how does this unique organ receive and, perhaps more importantly, rid itself of vital nutrients? New research suggests it has to do with sleep.

Stress & the related rumination & pressure we pile on ourselves, have significant effects throughout our whole body. Do you recognise the link? Or do you ignore the warning signs?

I've learnt how to listen to my body better, but only very recently. I'd love to share some simple but powerful techniques with you, come along to my new 6 week programme & I'll show you how. Message me to reserve your place for just £79.

If you, like many of us, often feel frazzled or overwhelmed, listen to Ruby make sense of this common anxiety invoking state. As she says mindfulness is shown to slow rumination, & strengthen healthy neural pathways by brain scans. Join us on the 18th of February at 9am, to learn more about the coping strategies for modern life as a woman. The "Earlybird deal" of £79 for the six 2 hour sessions finishes on Tuesday 🙅🏻

With Ruby Wax in Conversation, Lauren Laverne - BBC Radio 6 Music Ruby Wax joins Lauren with tips for mental fitness in the age of the frazzled.

A busy day back in clinic offering Hot Stone treatments at the ever so peaceful Jaynespa. Spaces available next week, give your wellbeing a boost & tend to those January niggles. A lovely treatment for relaxation, injury prevention & muscle health. Book online at...

http://my.setmore.com/bookingpage/e6ca7ebd-71c7-40ea-9c2f-cf41daed19c5

If you are an "over thinker" like me, our new Women's Wellbeing course is the perfect way to learn some valuable coping techniques for stressful situations. Helping you to bring more positivity & calm to your life. Message me for more information or to sign up.

Agree? Pass it on...

"How often do we ever get to just stop, in a big wide open space, and be? I can highly recommend it. Yes, running is good. But you can’t run away from what’s in your head, and sometimes it helps to just let those thoughts happen, whilst you give yourself a little break. And if Gary Barlow is there to serenade you at the same time? That helps too."

Time to get laced up again....

Keep on running Or in some cases, don’t. This morning I went running, which somebody recently informed me is ‘the work of Satan’. That seems a bit of a harsh description of something that is at best totally fre...

Let's get moving this week! And when you are sitting, remind yourself to lift & lengthen rather than slouch & slump. I find myself curling over all the time to entertain, feed & soothe my bubba. We can be much more comfortable & healthy with a little mindfulness of our posture.

This Is What Sitting Too Long Does To Your Body If you spend a lot of time sitting down for your job, take a look at the specifics of how this can negatively impact your health, according to four experts...

A 3-Minute Mindfulness Practice to Ground You in the Moment - Mindful This mindfulness practice is about moving attention in specific ways to help us free ourselves or to get unstuck from some of these automatic routines

Babies Exposed to Stimulation Get a Brain Boost Contrary to popular belief, exposing children to stimuli early can help to boost their development, researchers report.

How Taming the Mind is Like Riding a Horse - Mindful When we engage with the mind and body, we learn how to listen and respond with skill.