Adam Goldgell, The Cheftidigitator

mostly life is all complete bats**t randomness.This drawing is called Pancake in Prison.300 years from now when an art class is debating its meaning I hope someone is smart enough to blurt out it means nothing AND that is the point

I’m the gatekeeper Sunshine.I’m the keeper of fun.I have all the answers.Come by for a crumb.Unfortunately brothers this is not at all true.Im a Confused seeking human.I don’t have a clue.xxooo

As a kid I was taken to Cafe Un Deux Trois. A theater district french bistro.At the time I didn't realize all of life can be broken up as simply as their name Un- Swaddle coddle all the same model [and blanket] Duex-All unique, some fantastic, some horrific but this is the party. Trois-130 billion stories written, some endure a short while BUT ALL OF THEM EVERY SINGLE ONE ENDS EXACTLY THE SAME .So great scholars with your malas.To the panderers and philanderers.To the teachers and the ones in the bleachers Forget about the end of the story. Write the middle AND Hurry up.The middle becomes the end with One bad lump on your rump.,,,xxooo

It's not just what did happen.It's the millions of things that could have happened.I weep for unfilled dreams For decades of lives destroyed by ideology..Meals not made.I weep for the children of the Holocaust and Somalia.The people of Israel and Gaza and Ethiopia who starve for no good reason.For Matthew Shepard. For every baby laying in a bloodbath in Sandy Hook.For Pulse nightclub.For all memories not made.For people that deserved weddings and family and sweet things this world offers.I am a no one.A single dumb human with little resource.Together a bunch of dumb humans can change stuff.At Least if nothing else be nice to each other.The person you are being nice to even if it's just a split second maybe maybe is the one.Maybe maybe maybe they are Neo.Maybe you are Neo.Remember Neo didn't know he was Neo.

As I make a Tiramisu this morning and taste different potential alcohols. I am a lightweight and caught a nice buzz at 6 am on a Sunday morning. with my taste testing. I decided on Dark rum with a splash a Kahlua. Sadly listening to the news once again an AR- 15 was used as the weapon of choice last night..When a student asked how long it takes to get enlightened ? The elders answered. "If A dove has silk in its beak and gently touches the top of MT Vesuvius with the silk in it's beak as it flies over.When the Mountain is worn down to pebbles from the friction of the single silk. YOU will be enlightened." Maybe in the same time frame we will eliminate useless assault weapons . .May all humans find peace

Individual Moments have ZERO momentum. In order for the future to be affected by the past it takes the conduit of the brain to connect the two things.Of course if I have a disease in the present moment that doesnt mean if I don't connect that disease to the future it won't exist. It may or it may not.But it needs no help.It needs no worry or maybe or what ifs. It needs no doubt or wishes or smudge pots.It needs no prayers or shamans or facebook Jewboo artist lunatics.It will unfold without any story you decided to add or not.Sure work towards results.Lift weights you get muscles.But let the moments live individually.There is a common expression in poker called going on tilt.It means after losing a big pot you get bent out of shape and start playing recklessly.You are chasing the past moment to recoup the loss.You blame the dealer the cards the other player ":how could you play that"The dopamine shifted and you are now angry and playing angry.YOU will most likely will go broke soon after this mental shift.The experienced player gathers themselves gets up from the table takes a lap around the place, drinks a cup of coffee ANYTHING so the next hand you play does not drag unnecessary history and emotion into it.While you will want to use remnants of the other players history in future decision making.You must let go of all else. THIS is how you let moments be moments free of momentum.May all beings find peace and not get felted by their own anger. **connected is a pesto ratio..............Unrelated but to be discussed in the future.Pesto is needed in every cook's arsenal.

Happy 89th Birthday to His Holiness The Dalai Lama.May his message of compassion live 10,000 years.

Every year or so I make mole sauce.I think it's the single most complicated thing I know how to make.It has between 26 and 30 separate ingredients.It involves rendering pork.Toasting, rehydrating, baking, braising,straining, reducing numerous times.In the end it is always a bit different.It's essentially ridiculous.In Mexico a lot of the components are done for you.Meaning some abuelo between Tequila shots has already made a chili paste you can buy in a market.I'm stubborn and don't live in a little town in Mexico.So I do it myself .BUT I have my secret weapon this week MY SON. The ultimate sous chef. We will make a mole for my family.It will take all day. Which is the best part...........It will take all day.We will drink a few beers.He will tell me about RFK I will tell him about the hookie dookie bu****it I talk about.In the end we will have a mole. Cook with your family if you are lucky enough.Cauz in 30 years when I am mulch and my son is cooking for his family, he will recall the warm memory of time spent making mole with me. He will immediately think F**k that s**t and make a reservation in a restaurant.

This is my version of reincarnation
2024-you are a hot 20 something year old with a full sleeve of
tattoos.
2064-You are 60 year old and your well defined sleeve of tats has become a massive,flabby, muted mix of dark colored mush ................[Reference present day Vietnam vets arms]
2084-You are now dead and slowly turn into mulch.Your family has already stopped crying.........They move on.......With your money
2087- You are decomposing somewhere near a pumpkin field
2091-You are now a pumpkin being sold to a Mexican family.Who has gentrified into an American family and has abandoned the whole Day of the Dead thing and follows a pumpkin pie recipe.They
eat you
2091-Juan Carlos Manuel Rodriguez has a weak stomach and s**ts you out over the next three days.
2091-You end up in a water treatment plant and eventually evaporate and turn to rain.
2091-A flower grows from the rain water.It all starts over again

I'm a ghost of my own memory.Remnants of this life and others stick to me.I dance cry and laugh trapped in a form that is SO temporary it's already changed from the beginning of the sentence to the end.OH mighty human. You somehow believe you are more important than the 3,000 year old Sequoia that has harbored tens of thousands of beings.The ant mother with one quintillion family members. Compared to your handful. Oh mighty human who gives so much weight to the ghosts of your memory I pray for you to work towards the understanding of the ants and sequoia .They harbor nothing.They live in the rain and sunshine.All the same.

We are little kids steering the toy fire truck in front of the candy store.We plot a course, we scream and yell BUT in the end ALL 7 billion of us end at the same destination. SO lay off the siren,

This is for Pam. She is very supportive of all I do. She wanted a picture of this bird. There it kinda is...........Much love to Pam and everyone else this first week of June.

I would have not even tried to put Humpty back together again. I would have looked for some salt and pepper, a k**b of butter and made an omelette. Change is inevitable. You blow out your arm, teach someone else how to pitch. Lots of time wasted fighting biology.I'm not saying lay down and die. Just pick battles really wisely..For the rest get a k**b of butter

I wander old cemeteries.Watching time reclaim.I stop by a unique grave and wonder about the person for a minute.National military cemeteries I don't like at all. It feels like one enormous mass grave. It makes me tremendously sad. I bow and silently thank the soldier at my feet.I ask the world to do better..Nineteen year olds are supposed to be having fun with friends on a beach. Not laying in the dirt at Arlington.I honor their tremendous sacrifice.My prayer is simply we don't create more dead soldiers..Let Memorial weekend be used to honor and also do anything we can to end all war in the stupid world....................May all humans find peace

At exactly 6:46 am in Lakeland Florida A large cardinal spots a small worm. But luckily was discouraged by the lanai from trying to eat it with its sharp beak

Around 25 years ago A girl took me to Jean -Georges.She was a Sous chef at Picholine, another excellent NY French restaurant..Our meal started right as lunch service ended. We ate and drank in Jean-Georges dining room for almost 4 hours.I lost track after the 25th course. Dessert alone was 9 courses. If you catch the right chef at the right time these kinds of show respect / reciprocal meals happen. We were essentially alone in the dining room most of the meal as many great restaurants take a marked break between lunch and dinner service to reset and update place in the kitchen.After the most elaborate long and largest meal I think I ever had came the cheese garadon.I am not one that says no to world class cheese. If anyone ever saw Monty Python's The meaning of life where the really fat guy exploded ...that was me. I was in the process of waving off the cheese cart when the Captain came over and looked slowly to his right and in a whisper said I must try this .He then pulled a cheese from the bottom of the cheese cart "we smuggle this in from France on the Concorde" It was some unpasteurized cheese of course I never heard of. How could I say no ? The cheese I can't remember BUT what I do remember was the reverence this Frenchman had for the cheese. One of the good parts of being an unabashed cheese snob is If it's s**tty supermarket blocks of meh. I eat very little of it . But when you pull out the good stuff, I'm as helpless as a drunk boy on Prom night................I can't say no .Today is a picture of Gorgonzola dolce.Not to be confused with the hard pellets of yuck available in your local market.

When they asked William Christopher the actor who played Father Mulcahy on M.A.S.H. What was the show really about? He answered "that's simple, the show was about a priest in Korea. For the youngsters M.A.S.H was a large ensemble cast, certainly not about this priest exclusively.The point was in his joke he layed out the world.We make ourselves the star of the show.The show is about you the teacher or you the carsalemen coach or parent.If we looked at things as they actually are YOU are part of an infinite ensemble .Wrapped in a giant shared illusion.We interject our personal illusion into the shared illusion and around and around she goes. It is all very temporary. In the end we all start as a single Atom ...........................Goldgell anyway

Great art, let it be music or painting or writing, stops the conversation in your head for a split second.From there you may take more time to examine what the artist put in front of you.That slight break from WOW to OH. Like when you see a sharply dressed person. First you say wow they look neat or sexy or unusual.Then you may examine what they are actually wearing. Art is allowing you that slight break from the noise in your head to examine clearly. In order for this to happen the thing you are looking at needs to feel fresh. If you are in touch with the subtle change we are surrounded with in every breath everything you see can be art. A rusty pole from a long forgotten jungle gym changes every moment.The quieter the mind the more slight subtleties are picked up.This combined with a mastery of a discipline can create magic.This is a combination of a quiet mind mixed with deep understanding of a subject. I suffer from frustration in drawing or writing because my mastery of the craft end of those equations is almost zero. You can't polish if you don't know how to hold the pencil. Because of zero training you get from me Art brut or the american terminology Outsider art. What's the point ? Writing and drawing FOR ME is emptying a junk draw that never stops filling up.I need somewhere to put it. If you get something out of it that is sincerely nice. If not, delete my stuff. I still love you. Make room for more pictures of feet on the beach or baby pictures.I do really like baby pictures.

I cling to what I can find. Looking for a tether.Looking for solid ground.Is the flint in my lighter made of the bones of my victims ? ....Sometimes. Once in a while I feel I'm the light, darkness and road all at once.Usually not. Usually I"'m looking for rope to hold me to shore in order not to float away.

Old growth Floridian tree. She weathered every storm for a hundred and fifteen years. Every drought.Every infestation. Every over pruning homeowner.She threw shade for picnics and plantation work.She homed 10,387 long gone squirrels and 16 owls. She Dealt with 2,610 annoying woodpeckers Once in 1927 She hung a ra**st. 6,340,000 birds used her as a motel. 50 times that amount of insect ate her bark. One tree, one lazy backyard in Lakeland Florida. In 7 years she will find herself in the direct path of an over zealous,over Botoxed home owner.Who feels she is too close to the house and needs to go.....She will be felled and not say a word.Not one bird she homed, not a single squirrel will thank her for her life. She is okay with it.She is even okay with John's tree service that is about to end her life.She will fall as proudly as she lived.She will have lived with no great point to make.She won't even leave a stump.It will be ground up so the new shed lays flat.The backyard chairs need a home when the family summers in Vermont. Little did Mrs. Botox know 2 years later that the exact tree she felled was made into Planks by a Floridian lumber yard. That exact trees wood will be used for her casket.

Do places have energy or do we bring energy with us ? If I was blindfolded and deprived of all my senses I couldn't tell you if I was in the Gulag or the Louvre. If I remove my feelings and preconceived ideas from any conversation or place what's left ................ Raw beauty

First step of breaking out of prison is realizing you are in one to begin with.The bars are insidious.They disguise themselves as everything we are. The obvious ones like a job, relationships, and religious beliefs are pretty easy to recognize.The dark matter of avoidance are things like hobbies.What I personally do is turn those things into vocations so I pretend they are not really just giant avoidance responses.Like cooking or poker.Truth is it all is a prison if you don't realize it is gripping you.The way out of a thought prison is. 1. realizing you are in one. 2. Letting all things unfold without adding any additional story line. Eventually you will see the bars start to dissolve.While there can be pain involved in watching the bars dissolve, once you clear the runway of your own bu****it.The sky is blue and ther track is fast.May all beings find peace.

I recently inherited a large apothecary jar that belonged to my grandfather. He was a pharmacist. I decided I want to plant a terrarium in this jar. I was inspired by a guy who has a terrarium that has not opened for 60 years.I personally have been the Adam terrarium for almost 60 year as well.I live in the environment provided and grow and die accordingly. While I have some say in how my garden grows, not as much as I pretend.Falling backwards and letting the world catch you over and over and over again. Sometimes it just doesn't catch you and you fall hard and sometimes you are really surprised how softly you land.The most important readjusting I do is accepting how ever I land I will be okay.I welcome the storms.they are a practice in equanimity.****"Let the storm rage on the cold never bothered me anyway" ** This was true till I moved to Florida. [ Disney's song Let It Go is a perfect Buddhist metaphor.It has over 3 and a half BILLION plays in the last ten years.May all humans learn to let it all go over and over and over again.

The Royal house of Windsor Park just unveiled the official portrait of King Adam We hope you like it.It only cost $12,000,000

Yesterday I had a follow-up with the plastic Surgeon who rebuilt my eyelid. If you look at my eyelid there is a small piece missing where the eyelid healed together.He told me he could "fix" it by filling it in or other blah blah blah. I asked the surgeon if he knew what Kintsugi was ? I explained it is a Japanese method of fixing broken pottery by joining it together with gold.The concept is to embrace and accentuate the break as opposed to trying to hide it. {the aesthetic crosses from pottery into a manner of living. We patch and hide and try to 'fix' stuff that if accepted naturally becomes part of who we are and makes us more unique } So leave it I said. This Doctor who I really like and who couldn't possibly be more than 32 years old was mesmerized for a split second. He then said MR Goldgell that is honestly fascinating and thank god most people don't feel that way, Because I just bought a house.