Project Parenthood

The importance of self-regulation for both parents and children, including how to manage emotions, senses, and impulses leading to better outcomes in daily life.

Self regulation and why it’s important | Project Parenthood

When our kids see someone being mean to another person online, making them feel embarrassed or left out, making fun of them, disrespecting them, or hurting their feelings, we want our children to know they always have choices. First, they can choose to be a helper instead of a bystander by helping that person that was targeted.

Second, if they choose to be a helper, they have options for what kind of action they can take. They can stand up for the person, they can report something hurtful, they can ignore something to keep it from spreading even more. We want our children to know it's okay to be scared or sad or feel overwhelmed by something they saw online.

So if people are leaving disrespectful comments on a selfie, their friend posted, or your child's playing an online game and one player is insulting and trash talking another player.

If several of their friends are making mean jokes about a student in a private group chat Does your child know how to navigate? Do they know how to have that empathy and turn it into action?

We really want our kids to understand why privacy and security matter. We want them to know how to create strong passwords and keep them to themselves. and their caregivers. So we can teach our kids to use different passwords for each of their important accounts, what makes a strong password, how to maybe change it every once in a while, set their devices to automatically lock in case they end up in the wrong hands, to not use personal information in their password, to make sure the password is not easy to guess, to not share it with anyone else besides a parent or guardian, And to really never write it down where someone can find them, show them the tools, the software, the settings that are all in place on their devices, which protect them against scams, hackers, and other threats. So they know what's going on and how to use it in the future.

What happens if our kids fall for a scam? We don't want them to panic or pretend it didn't happen. We want them to tell us, a teacher, or other adult they trust right away. The longer they wait, the worse things can get. We can help them change passwords or maybe notify friends or contacts as they may get that next tricky message.

If possible, report the message as spam. We want our kids to understand that people contacting them may not be who they say they are. Be sure the person is who they say they are before replying. Ask questions, or get help from an adult if it's hard to tell who this person really is. Discuss with your kids that in apps, people sometimes pretend to be someone else as a joke, or maybe to get something from you, or just to be mean.

Kids need to be able to reflect how others might interpret their messages or posts. Can they see it differently? We also want our kids to understand the difference between assumptions, opinions, and facts. And really, our kids need to be able to consider the consequences of exposing personal information.

What they share becomes part of their digital footprint. It can last a long time. Talk to your kids about framing. What can be kept visible in public, and what really should be kept secret and invisible? We want our kids thinking critically about content and screening fake information. Talk to your kids about phishing and how it comes in all contexts.

This week, I'm sharing practical tips for managing your child’s online privacy, recognizing misinformation, and fostering kindness in digital interactions.

Navigating parenting in the digital age | Project Parenthood Practical tips for managing your child’s online privacy, recognizing misinformation, and fostering kindness in digital interactions.

Manage your kids' social media use with practical tips to set rules, ensure safety, and foster healthy online habits.

Kids and social media | Project Parenthood Managing your kids' social media use with practical tips to set rules, ensure safety, and foster healthy online habits.

Think about the way you treat your body or the way you talk about your body. Does this move you towards your values? Are you modeling this for your children? Children absorb what you're saying to yourself and to them. Are there moments when you can highlight their worth?

Remember that what we are is what teaches our children more than what we say to them. So remembering, again, being more cognizant and aware of how you are treating and talking about your body, that is going to make a big impression on your children.

Feeling good about our bodies entails accepting and valuing our bodies. So, how do we teach our kids to do this? If our goal and hope is for our children to accept their bodies, we are not asking them to tolerate, put up, or resign themselves.

Instead, we are asking them to drop the struggle with body image, make room for their bodies, expand on them, open up, breathe into them, allow them, and be willing to have their body. When your children express dissatisfaction with their body image or start to question it, start with empathy.

This week, I'm exploring how to help children develop a positive body image including practical tips on using empathy, values, acceptance, and positive reframing to guide your kids toward body acceptance and self-esteem.

Fostering body positivity in your kids | Project Parenthood Exploring how to help children develop a positive body image including practical tips on using empathy, values, acceptance, and positive reframing to guide your kids toward body acceptance and self-esteem.

I was super excited to have my friend Jennie Ribadeneira on the show this week. Jennie is a music teacher and center director of Capital City Music Together We discussed how music boosts early childhood development, and offered tips for parents to engage kids in musical activities from a young age.

Active music making and childhood development (with Jennie Ribadeneira) | Project Parenthood Chelsea is joined by Jennie Ribadeneira Center Director of Capital City Music Together. They discuss how music boosts early childhood development, offering tips for parents to engage kids in musical activities from a young age.

As you start to map out your household in terms of your child’s anxiety and doubts, do so with curiosity, openness and kindness and without blame or judgment.

How does anxiety or doubt impact your child (their body, their thinking, their feelings and their behavior?) Do they get a racing heart or sweaty palms, do they catastrophize, do they seem more on edge and quicker to snap, do they shut down outside of the home or cry more easily?
How much of your time as a caregiver is taken over by your child’s anxiety or doubt? What are you doing differently compared to other siblings? What would you do differently if your child was not having a doubt or not anxious?
How do you accommodate? Use special dishes? Drive only a specific route to school, no detours? Get up early or stay up late? Repeatedly answer questions and provide reassurance?

Managing your child's anxious and obsessive thoughts | Project Parenthood Exploring how to support children stuck in anxious, obsessive thoughts. Learn practical strategies to address these doubts with curiosity, openness, and kindness, helping your child separate reality from imagination and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Why do our kids get doubts (aka: anxious or obsessive thoughts) that stick and how do they turn into such convincing stories?

A doubt will have reasons behind it … there are facts, rules, experiences, things they have heard - hearsay, and possibility … These bring our children into a world of imagination and out of the here and now reality. And the imagination world starts to feel like reality.

A single thought can turn into a powerful doubt sequence or story. Just as we can get wrapped up in fictional stories, we can also get wrapped up in the stories our minds create… stories can change the way we feel, behave and interact with the world around us.

Do you wake up to a child getting stuck on a thought or idea? Starting questions or statements with “Maybe…, “What if…” or “It might be or could be…” and they can’t seem to let it go. What happens when our kids’ brains get stuck on anxious, obsessive or intrusive thoughts? What can we do as caregivers?

Today's show is here to help all of us who parent kids with anxious or obsessive thoughts.

Managing your child's anxious and obsessive thoughts | Project Parenthood Exploring how to support children stuck in anxious, obsessive thoughts. Learn practical strategies to address these doubts with curiosity, openness, and kindness, helping your child separate reality from imagination and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

If you have one sibling who seems to be the consistent aggressor - they are the one that needs more help not more blame. The more we acknowledge our children’s feelings like anger and simultaneously provide them with communication tools to use, we will see a decrease in their physical aggression.

Although we may be quick to send children to their room or say we have had enough - it will go a long way for everyone if we can make them feel valued and forgiven, if we can give them an opportunity to repair.

Think of your parenting as a relationship as opposed to a set of strategies, as we have no influence as parents unless we have a relationship. In order for us as parents to have influence, our children need to feel heard, seen and validated.

For more tips on using effective communication to do so, you can listen to episode 756 when I talk with previous host Dr. Nanika Coor about using the 5 secrets of effective communication with your children.

Using the 5 secrets of effective communication with kids: A conversation with Chelsea Dorcich | Project Parenthood In this episode Dr. Coor does a “5 Secrets” deep dive with Chelsea Dorcich, a level 4 TEAM-CBT therapist who works with children and adolescents.

Have compassion for yourself and allow that to carry over to your children who are arguing. Remember sibling rivalry is natural and typical. If we approach our children without taking a breath, we will end up with one child feeling like we never understand them, that we always blame them. And the other sibling who got protected thinking they won.

This actually creates a bigger divide with our siblings.

A reminder that sibling rivalry is typical and natural. Everyone is born with a need to survive, so it is natural to feel feelings of rivalry with a sibling, but siblings can also have fun. Research shows that it is the amount of fun between siblings that leads to stronger and closer relationships in adulthood - regardless of how much siblings fight!
Think about human relationships as a whole - they will never be without anger, jealousy, hurt feelings or needing to repair a rupture. More on this in this week's episode.

Consciously parenting siblings - Part 2 | Project Parenthood The importance of fostering connections and coaching children through conflicts with empathy and effective communication.

Are you ready to ditch the referee role with your kids and shift the balance in your household? Then today's episode is for you. We go more in depth on conscious parenting, building off where we started last week, to help you better foster connections with (and between) your kids. Listen in your favorite podcast app or in the accompanying web post below.

Sibling Harmony: Mastering Conscious Parenting - Quick and Dirty Tips We are continuing our discussion (that we started last week on episode 764 of Project Parenthood) on how to consciously parent siblings. I’ll dive deeper into the art of consciously parenting siblings, a continuation of our discussion that promises to enrich the familial bonds within your househol...

Self compassion is an important tool to feel okay about who you are. It is a powerful antidote to self blame. The more you develop self compassion, the more likely you are to experience a sense of self forgiveness.

Start with kind self talk. Make sense of the events that just happened. If we can say, I handled that poorly. We can then say, it's okay, everyone has been here at some point, I am human, as we acknowledge we are doing our best and accept ourselves with compassion and our children with compassion, we are more likely to better ourselves.

When we are regulated, we allow ourselves to fully engage in our parenting and authentically connect with our children. Find whatever works for you, whether it is practicing mindfulness.

So maybe you go through a grounding exercise, something as simple as checking off your five senses, name as many things as you can for each sense. This can help ground yourself. My favorite way to think of grounding is called dropping anchor. Think of a ship. In a storm and see it's going to drop its anchor or it's going to come to the dock and drop its anchor.

It doesn't make the storm go away, but it helps the ship brave the storm

In reality, we as parents really do help create our children's anxiety as we build our own self awareness. We can model and help our children build their own inner compass. The more we trust them to listen to their own inner compass, the better they can keep themselves safe.

be curious, and the second you're able to label your feelings, it makes it about you and not your children. What I mean by that is, noticing what is coming up for you in that moment when your kids are fighting needs to actually be addressed before you can consciously approach them and support them.

Conscious parenting is about developing ourselves from the emotional and spiritual lessons of parenting, connecting authentically with our children, resetting our expectations and repairing our ruptures, all while being open, kind, and curious.

In part one of this two part series, Chelsea explores how self-awareness, self-regulation, and self-compassion can lead to happier siblings.

Consciously parenting siblings - Part 1 | Project Parenthood

With most kids off for Summer Break, here are some helpful tips to find a balance between fun and routine over the next few months.

Summer parenting hacks | Project Parenthood

Learn more about what you don't know. Maybe even unlearn some things you thought you knew about gender and LGBTQ+ identities. Be curious, be open, accepting, not judgment, and kind. When we think about identity, identities have so many layers. Reflect and acknowledge your child's identity. And then think about, what does culture say is good or bad when you think about your child's layers of identity and, and remember that identity is fluid.

What works today could be very different of what works another day. Our goal is to create a space for conversations over time so that as feelings about gender change, we are here to support those changes and really show that these conversations are ongoing.