Navigate Your Healing

What's your FAVORITE and LEAST FAVORITE thing about 4th of July holiday?

When we think about acquiring something new, be it an object or a service, we often ask ourselves "Can I afford this?"

And by afford we predominantly are thinking about finances. But the concept of AFFORDABILITY is multi-dimensional and when you are living a fully intentional life, you have to ask yourself the full range of affordability questions.

✅ Can I afford this financially?
✅ Can I afford this energetically? Do I have the energy and brain power to care and maintain this?
✅ Can I afford the time this will require of me?
✅ Can I afford the space this will require in my home?

Be cautious of what you invite into your life because it just might be draining your time, energy and space accounts.

Often when a parent starts to think about their child's transition into adulthood, they ask what services are available. My answer is always - "that depends".

⁉️ It depends on what your state has crafted under the waiver system.
⁉️ It depends on what your state's priorities are for funding.
⁉️ It depends on whether there are limits on the numbers of people who can access a waiver at any point in time.
⁉️ It depends on YOU doing your research and understanding the nuances of the waiver system in your state.

One thing I know for sure, no state has a simple website or publication to tell you exactly what to do and how to proceed 🤡

Wouldn't it be great if there was someone who created a program that would help you understand these programs from a broad perspective and then give you the questions you need to research so you know what's available in your location? Yeah, I thought so too so I'm that someone: https://bit.ly/3r9UGAW

Some common misconceptions parents have about disability services for their soon-to-be adult child:

SSI is automatic because there is a disability.
💥False. SSI for adults requires the disability is significant enough that a person cannot work. It's all or nothing.

Getting SSI set up will only take a couple of months.
💥 False. In 2024, the average processing time for an SSI application is 225 days (7-8 months).

There are adult day programs available.
💥 There is no mandate that adults with disabilities have access to programs like there is with Public School and FAPE. Availability and accessibility depends largely on location.

Adult programs will be robust and engaging.
💥 False. The quality of care varies widely.

Adult programs are obligated to take a person regardless of ability or behaviors.
💥 False. Agencies are allowed to exclude high needs individuals if they feel their care is too extensive or their behaviors are too disruptive. Most agencies do not offer 1:1 support in the group settings.

Establishing a savings account in a child's name is a good way to save for their future.
💥 False. While saving is an excellent idea, the tool used to save is important because for SSI and Medicaid eligibility, countable personal resources over $2,000 will make one ineligible. There are specific tools to use such as a Special Needs Trust or ABLE Account.

Employment will not affect my child's benefits since they will not be able to fully support themselves.
💥 False. SSI has income standards for eligibility and if one goes over that standard, they will become ineligible for SSI. Even if under the standard, wages will reduce the SSI allotment. There are programs within SSI that can be used as pathways to employment that will help protect benefits.

Guardianship is required.
💥 False. There are alternatives to guardianship that can and should be explored as well.

If thinking about your child's future gets you all tied up in knots, the solution to overwhelm is always action. Don't know where or how to start? I've got you covered: https://bit.ly/3r9UGAW

Many parents of kids with disability dread the day their child transitions into Adulthood. There are a lot of emotions to process for sure. But I was actually looking forward to it.

💲 More money coming to the household because of SSI.
🙌 No more having to deal with a broken educational system.
💲 An opportunity to be paid to be my child's caregiver through Medicaid Waiver programs.

Our children will live 2/3s of their lives as adults. We can either live in sorrow about that or we can make the most out of it by taking advantage of the opportunities that exist AND creating and crafting a life that suits us.

Don't let fear of the unknown keep you trapped in worry and overwhelm cycles. The remedy for overwhelm is always action. And I'm here to help you with that action.

https://bit.ly/3QQnw3a

Improving a child's health, development and expression of life is all about playing all of the cards you are dealt. Would it be awesome if we were just dealt ONE card? Yes it would but that's not reality.

This hand has 8 cards that all must be addressed and many of them simultaneously. In the card deck, 44 more cards just waiting to be a part of the game. 🙃

Developing a mindset that can help you get really good at understanding how to play your hand both in the short term and the long term is a valuable tool in this Forever Parent game. Play the hand you're dealt and play to win.

You may not like the current season of your life but you MUST honor the woman moving through it.

I guess it means you've made it when you get swarmed by Trolls and Spammers. Sigh.

No one is authorized to sell anything on my page except for me :) So if you are tagged in a comment about new apparel or microdosing or whatever, please report the comment as spam and tag me so that I see it (FB doesn't send notifications on everything). I'll report, block and delete the spammer slime.

Unmitigated stress catches up with you - eventually. For mothers, it happens often when you're in your 40s. If you're a special needs mom, you can count on it happening a bit earlier than that.

Fatigue
Auto-Immune Challenges
GI Distress
Sleep Dysfunction
Amplification of SNP Challenges (like MTHFR)
Brain Fog
Executive Functioning Challenges
Life Force Weakening
Just to name a few!

So you have all of this happening and waiting around the corner for you is Peri-Menopause which is going to add stress to your already stress-out system.

If you're a special needs mom, this is all going on for you while your child with a disability is aging into adulthood which sets the stage for a WHOLE NEW LEVEL of complexity and stress.

If you're ready to change the trajectory of your life as a special needs mom, I can help you learn and master the strategies that will allow your body and mind to finally R-E-S-T and Recover. You deserve to live life to its fullest and your children deserve a happy and healthy mom.

“We can help them to upregulate their vagal system, while supporting them in downregulating the part of their nervous systems that tells them that their world may not hold safety. We can support the mothers in feeling at home, at ease, and trusting in their own systems, as opposed to feeling caught in loops of hypervigilance and fear of doing the wrong thing. And ultimately, the programs of fear and vigilance may not be her own, but that of a past generation.”⁣
⁣
In this article, Dr. Gabby Goldach illuminates how restricted tongue movement in infants is connected to the proper functioning of the nervous system, especially the social nervous system!⁣
⁣Keep reading: https://pathwaystofamilywellness.org/childrens-health-wellness/tongue-to-toes-the-holistic-way-to-resolve-tongue-ties-at-their-root.html

Learning to master the art of Radical Acceptance has been such a great tool for me. Are you needing a some Radical Acceptance in your life?

Cultivating a Growth Mindset is imperative for living your best life. It also models and demonstrates to our children how to navigate complexity and adversity.

This last week I spent quite a bit of time advising and coaching on the documentation needs for an SSI Disability Application. What should be included? How much is enough? What's the most important aspect of the documentation?

This is the stack of documentation I submitted for my son. I spent about 6 months combing through my files, selecting the documentation that supported his claim and organizing/preparing the packet. Members in my VIP Group receive on-going information and support from me as they walk through this complicated and frustrating process.

You don't have to go through this alone!
https://navigateyourhealing.com/18-course/

The human brain is really amazing. But it's not always doing things in our total best interest. For instance, we can "top down" convince ourselves of basically anything.

I've been watching Caleb Hammer a lot this year and he's all about financial health. Many of his guests are in their 20s/30s and let's just say their spending is more about wants than needs. YET, they don't see that clearly (until Caleb gets done with them haha) and they are convinced that they NEED these special treats, special opportunities as a reward for X,Y and Z.

This is not a mindset just of Gen Z. We are all susceptible to it because our brains are amazing but also a little dangerous if we don't develop self-awareness and the ability to just question ourselves and challenge ourselves.

What I observe in overwhelmed and under-resourced moms is the same sort of thought process around rewards but really at the heart of these habits and behaviors is that they are stress deflections and coping habits. We all have stress deflections so the trick is to have awareness around YOUR deflection choices and then create new ones that are healthier for you mind/body/life.

The Financial Audit episode I watched yesterday had a woman who used shopping and spending money as her stress deflection. She truly felt she NEEDED the items because she didn't have awareness around WHAT the shopping and spending was doing for her mental health and how that shaped her overall mindset about life.

Not everyone is ready for true self-awareness and self-discovery. Getting really honest with ourselves about why we are doing things or why we are not doing things can be classified as a "difficult conversation" and therefore stress inducing itself.

But developing the practice of seeing yourself objectively and coaching yourself on doing things differently is a skill that will serve you well and put you on the trajectory you desire. Self-awareness and self-discovery are forms of SELF CARE and now you are in control of your decisions vs. you just reacting to everything that happens around you. Are you ready for a difficult conversation with yourself?

Using the Universal Pain Assessment Tool, I created this graphic but it can be used to assess your level of OVERWHELM.

Much like physical pain, feeling overwhelmed and stressed is something only you can feel and many times, other people may not be aware of how much pain or stress you are experiencing.

This tool is beneficial for your own self-awareness but also for letting others where you are on the scale. Ideally, they would then have a greater understanding of what's going on with you and help you out 🙂

Level 1 is all about resilience and adaptability. It's not about having zero stress, it's about being able to deal with that stress effectively.

Level 2 is where people have a bit less resiliency coupled with additional stress. If we aren't careful, staying in this zone will lead to a chronic stress state.

Level 3 and 4 are in my mind a real danger zone. If you stay in this zone you are on the road to BURNOUT.

Level 5 is burnout.

Level 6 is broken brain.

As caregivers, we MUST learn and practice self-care when it comes to all forms of stress and overwhelm. We cannot always control the context of our situations but we can modify the way we move within it. The goal is always: Resiliency and Adaptability to Stress aka SELF-RESCUE.

If you're on a trajectory leading to misery and burnout, I have several resources to help you out!

Sometimes when I meet people and they learn about "what I do", they will offer advice like: I hope you're taking care of yourself.

Oh yes, ma'am I am. Every day, all day. My self-care is in every single choice I make which includes how I will react to things that are outside of my control.

It's like breathing for me at this point - it's just so automatic. That's the beauty of consistency, what is at first challenging becomes second nature. And because I have all of the tools I need to support my nervous system myself, I never have to wait for an appointment or find cash to pay someone to help 'fix' me.

Harnessing the power of the nervous system is the Ultimate Life Hack.

When one mentions "Self-Care", the activities that most people automatically think of fall into the category of PAMPERING. Things like massages, baths, alone time, girls night out, mani-pedis etc.

And when you are a caretaker of a disabled child or a child with some significant challenges, the time and opportunity to participate in PAMPERING activities can be little to none. Oftentimes a person will then make the assumption that they can't do self-care because they can't do the pampering activities for one reason or another.

I'm here to interrupt that pattern of thinking.

Yes, PAMPERING is wonderful. It is however just ONE SMALL SLICE of what self-care actually is.

Am I anti-PAMPERING? Nope. It's great if you can do it.

But if you can't do it, then you need to reframe your concept of what self-care is.

Self-care is taking care of ourselves while we live our lives. It's not about escaping ours lives. It's our thoughts, our mindset, our inner dialogue, the physical strains our bodies endure daily and our awareness of our nervous system and how to support it to a state of balance, or at least get it pointing in the right direction. And then being consistent with it all.

It's loving ourselves for who we are. It's practicing gratitude (yes, even on the worst of days). It's setting boundaries with other people and situations. It's utilizing strategies to help calm our monkey brains in those moments where we are allowed to rest.

We face challenges that most people can't even fathom. And we are facing those challenges every day for the rest of our lives.

Are you ready to do things differently?

Chronic stress affects every system of the body. Here's just a snapshot of what can happen to your cardio-vascular system. Stress management is self-care. What steps do you need to take today to get started?

Everyone knows caregiving brings a high stress load. It's also well-documented that transitioning into Menopause brings a high stress load. So when caregivers go through menopause, the effects will be dramatic and to some, rather traumatic.

That's why it's so important to get a handle on our self-care NOW and learn how to incorporate self-care measures that stimulate a relaxation response in our bodies. If you enter the menopausal transition in a depleted state because of chronic stress from caregiving, it's going to be miserable and very difficult for you.

Adapting to stressors requires resilience. Resilience is something we build and nurture for ourselves. Survival and Resilience are two different things. Are you low on resilience?

The Dynamics of Stress and Fatigue across Menopause: Attractors, Coupling and Resilience The objective of this study was to evaluate the regulatory dynamics between stress and fatigue experienced by women during the menopausal transition (MT) and early post-menopause (EPM). Fatigue and perceived stress are commonly experienced by women during ...

Uber Launching Service To Help Caregivers The ride-sharing service Uber is introducing an option designed to make it easier for caregivers to get people with disabilities and others they assist from one place to another.

Some people say stress is a silent killer. And that may feel true but when we're honest with ourselves, we can hear the messages our bodies are sending us that they are struggling. The real flex is in doing something right now support your body out of chronic stress, not seeing how long you can go before you finally NEED to do something different.

In the last year, I've seen many (too many) internet friends suffer from chronic stress - their bodies manifesting all sorts of serious and catastrophic conditions which are directly related to stress. I'll link an article in the comments that outlines how stress can and will manifest in the body.

Don't wait, there will never be a better day to start than TODAY. Your body and your brain will thank you.

Picked these up at Target a few weeks ago for $1.00. They are awesome because they help with central vision, fine motor, creativity/visualization, motor planning etc.

Spent the morning helping one of my course members navigate the process of filing for SSI and how all of that relates to setting up Medicaid Waiver supports.

Transitioning into adult services is complicated and filled with things you NEED TO KNOW but won't readily find available. In other words, you don't know what you need to know. Which is why I created my course and support program.

Members get access to the 4 Modules as well as Action Guides, additional resources and on-going support from me.

It's never too early to start learning and planning for this important transition in your child's life!

Sign up here:
https://navigateyourhealing.com/18-course/

I saw this graphic and my first thought was "I only get to pick one?" 😂

Special Needs Parents aka Forever Parents will likely tell you they experience 4/4 of these types of BURNOUT.

😖OVERGIVING because we are caregiving 24/7 years on end. We can't "quit work for the day" at 5 pm. We don't have that kind of Union!!

😖OVERDOING because we don't have a back fill of support to do the things that need to be done in a day.

😖OVERTHINKING because we must attend to the present but also try to figure out a plan for the future - where will my child live when I'm gone? Who will take the lead in making sure his needs are met?

😖OVERACHIEVER because we get so used to doing all.the.things.all.the.time it just becomes second nature to us.

Burnout is very common amongst Forever Parents but that doesn't mean we have to stay there. There are strategies and techniques that we can practice that will move the nervous system out of dysregulation and back into a state that resembles LIFE, not BURNOUT.

Does it happen quickly? Nope, but you also didn't get here on the fast-track. You've spent years OVER GIVING, OVER DOING, OVER THINKING and OVER ACHIEVING so it's going to take some time to change those habits.

If you're ready to move out of BURNOUT and you'd like an approach that works specifically for Forever Parents and the context of care-giving, I invite you to join my Self Care Society where you will get instant access to my signature course, a huge library of additional content videos and EFT Tapping Meditations, access to coaching in a private group setting and worksheets to assist you along the way.

There's no obligation, only possibility ❤
https://navigateyourhealing.com/join/

I was going through some old files today and I found a handout I created years ago called "Decision Diet". It's a list of tips and strategies to help eliminate decision fatigue and overwhelm.

I'll be re-working and releasing it in the near future but in the meantime, here's a blog I wrote about Mental Load and Decision Fatigue. Understanding WHAT you are feeling is important but so is WHY because then you can devise a plan for moving out of it.

https://navigateyourhealing.com/youre-not-failing-youre-struggling/

People who are in chronic stress (sympathetic dominance) try so hard to get out of it by trying to live in LEVERAGE mode. Leverage is where abundance and growth are.

But there is a step in between that is skipped and that is EQUILIBRIUM. You need to get to a state of balance and recalibration before leaping into leverage for it to be a long-term state of being. If you miss equilibrium, you'll not stay in leverage for very long and then you'll find yourself back in survival trying to figure out why you can't seem to get your s**t together. rinse/repeat ad nauseum.

SURVIVAL -> EQUILIBRIUM -> LEVERAGE
BURNOUT ->RESTORATION ->ENRICHMENT

If you're ready to start living and thriving again, check out my Self Care Society where you can learn all of the tools you'll need and you'll receive my support and coaching along the way.

https://navigateyourhealing.com/membership/

My ego loved being recognized as athletic today. It's been a long road back from burnout but I'm stronger than ever and that was only possible by taking a few years off from any exercise other than the occasional walk or bike ride.

Physical exercise is a stress to the body and while it's generally recognized as "healthy", it can actually hold you back from optimal health if your nervous system isn't properly calibrated and living in a chronic state of stress.

Sometimes we just need to stop and rest for a while.

Motivation is creativity-driven. Creativity requires access to your frontal lobe. Chronic stress moves the seat of your thinking out of your frontal lobe.

You're not unmotivated or a failure, you're living in chronic stress.

It IS possible to end this cycle. Even without changing your external circumstances.

Grab your free guide "3 Action Steps to Help Your Nervous System Today" to get started on improving your expression of life:
https://navigateyourhealing.com/free-stuff/