Peace Through Grief

Our Solstice Grief Cafe Series continues! Registration in bio -
We will explore our grief as it connects to the season of Autumn: leaves fall and return to the earth, the daylight grows shorter, we harvest the crops from the warm summer months, and humans and animals prepare for the long, cold months ahead.
Casual , Free / donation based , communal grieving.

We’ll take some some to honor anyone who has died in the last 49 days as well.

Hope to see you there!

Tonight we wrapped up our summer parent loss group and wow what a beautiful healing journey we went on together..

Now it’s time to open registration for the next cohort. We will cap at 10 so get your registration in early, there are 7 spots left.

Dm me for the link!

Please send a DM or follow the link to register for our next Parent Loss Grief Group starting October 1!

peacethroughgrief.com/parent-loss

This month marks 22 years since my dad died. I was 22 at the time so that makes this year my half way point. What a journey!

I’m honored to now support others through their parent loss journey with a grief group that meets bi-weekly. The next group starts Oct 1. Dm me for the registration link or with any questions!
(Or follow my L1nKtr33)

** This is a q***r and trans affirming space. **

What people are saying: 
“I’m really glad I did this group. It’s been an intentional time in my week to really contemplate my grief and the process I’m in.”
“I have loved the breakout groups where we get to know each other’s stories more.”
“This has exceeded my expectations.”
“I feel supported in group and look forward to being in community with everyone. It’s so rare to be with others who ‘get it’.”

This is a 6-Session, Bi-Weekly Group (every 2 weeks) starting October 2nd.

Tuesdays, 4pm - 6pm PDT

Register ASAP the group fills at 10.
…


                      ***rdoula                     ***rdeathdoula  ***rchaplain

My mom gave me this card shortly before she died, I’m guessing around 2007. The US was increasing troops in Iraq at this time and air striking a number of Middle Eastern countries for years after. My mom was vastly against war and instilled that same belief in me, that human lives shall be cherished, not sacrificed for greed, fear, and delusion. This card disturbed me but I kept it on my wall for years as a reminder of this precious human life, and how important human consciousness is. What if people lived with this kind of consciousness? Would we have no war? Would the killing stop?

Card by , pre 2012.

There’s a word for those feelings we can’t quite explain! And sometimes not in English… when my mother died I tell people I learned to slow down time. I would have these experiences where I would feel like the world and I were in slow motion. I would be driving and see each person on the sidewalk and have a flash of their whole life (sonder) including their losses and griefs, “vivid and complex”.. then I would think of where I would be if my mom had not died, and how, because she did die, different my life had become (watashiato)..and after the long process of cleaning out and selling my childhood home, where she lived for 32 years, I felt an intense relief but a loss all over again (etterath).. thank you to for guiding my grief today 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Summer Solstice Grief Cafe is next week 6/20, register in my Lin kTree in B1@. We can share grief and be held in community!

We are full for this group but still accepting folks on the waitlist, in case of any cancellations or if we have enough to hold a second group. DM for more info.

Also June 20 is our Summer Solstice Grief Cafe, rolling registration is open via L1 nk in B10 🙏🏻🙏🏻 thank you for your bravery to enter the work of grieving together and healing together.

Having dinner with my dad today.

My parent loss group starts in 2 weeks and there are 2 spots left. DM if you’re interested!

These are my parents, before they were my parents. Beautiful, complex, humans beaming with life and love. May 10 is their wedding anniversary, this year would have marked their 49th. It’s one of those things I still keep track of, even though my dad died in 2002 and my mom died in 2012. Some part of me still counts the years as they relate to their love for one another, to my age, and to what could have or would have been, even though I know that is not my reality.

My dad’s birthday is also around the corner, may 20. Mother’s Day just passed and Father’s Day is upcoming. Parent loss is ongoing as the reminders do not stop.

For those of you who know parent loss, you know it changes, yet still continues. It being the grief, the confusion, the lessons, the longings, the moments of disbelief.

I’ve crafted a group for folks who have lost one or more parents and are working with their grief. If that’s you, there are few spaces still available to join the 6 session group.

The group will be especially affirming to q***r and trans people who may have other unique shared experiences around family dynamics and loss.

Sliding Scale available. LinC in B!0. Group work is the jam. 🍞🍴🍓

is a specific kind of loss AND since our relationships with our parents can often be complicated, this loss can bring up a tremendous amount from our past.. if you’ve never tried group work, it’s one of the most therapeutic forms of grief support out there. We all have our own experiences, but sometimes it’s hard when those closest to us haven’t experienced what we’re going through. Group work often results in new lifelong connections, and I’m so honored to be offering this program this summer. Registration in Bio 🙏🏻🙏🏻 will offer a second group if the registration gets filled.

reg1ster in b!0!

is a specific kind of loss AND since our relationships with our parents can often be complicated, this loss can bring up a tremendous amount from our past.. if you’ve never tried group work, it’s one of the most therapeutic forms of grief support out there. We all have our own experiences, but sometimes it’s hard when those closest to us haven’t experienced what we’re going through. Group work often results in new lifelong connections, and I’m so honored to be offering this program this summer. Registration in Bio 🙏🏻🙏🏻 will offer a second group if the registration gets filled.

This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and from our own backyard and neighborhood! photos taken by me and on our iPhones - just wow. I could feel the energy across my whole body as we watched for hours. Grief melted away and I felt a sense of wonder and connection to the universe, a sense of relativity of my life and insignificance, and how we are all here together, transforming past karma, visiting our patterns, and occasionally causing suffering for ourselves and others. Amidst ongoing global war and gen0cide, amidst broken-heartedness, the skies and stars steadfastly remind us of our precious human life.

Final Days to Register for 🌸Spring Grief Cafe🌸 - https://mailchi.mp/8e879c71ad6d/gatherandgrieve-15652975

10 Days Left to Register for 🌸Spring Grief Cafe🌸, we hope to see you there for a casual community connection with grief. https://peacethroughgrief.com/spring-grief-cafe/

Sometimes grief needs Boba. 🧋
Sometimes grief need a hug. 🫂
Sometimes grief needs space, but to know someone is on the other side of the door 🚪.
Sometimes grief needs puppy 🐶 licks.
Sometimes grief needs a safe place to yell 📣.
Sometimes grief needs dinner with a friend.
Sometimes grief needs feet in the grass 🌱.
Sometimes grief needs hands in the dirt 🪱.
Sometimes grief needs sunshine 🌞.
Sometimes grief needs 🌧️ rain.
Sometimes grief needs to be curled up under the covers 🛌.
Sometimes grief needs to dance 💃🏻 🕺🏻.
Sometimes grief needs 😭 tears.
Sometimes grief needs 😂 laughter.
Sometimes grief needs boba 🧋.

What does your grief need today?
Join us in less than 2 weeks for our first Solstice Grief Cafe (happening 9 days after spring Solstice). deets in my b10 .. all welcome and free/donation based. Your whole self is welcome.

Announcing Spring Grief Cafe, March 28 - Join us for a casual and supportive community conversation about grief and death. All grievers welcome. peacethroughgrief.com/spring-Grief-cafe

Gather and Grieve, a onlinee grief ritualsl for communal grievingng, is back tomorrow, thurs Feb 15 at 5-6:30pm Pacific, online. still time to register! https://linktr.ee/peacethroughgrief

See ya there,
Jess

Last call to register: Gather and Grieve, Thurs Feb 15 https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdzX7mk3YqTp7uCfjU_p6O8NDYj-MW37ToBd7qEbVm-ly2Xfg/viewform?usp=sf_link

Gather and Grieve with Jess McKimmie is back on Thursday, February 15th: Register today - https://mailchi.mp/df850ee37e5a/gatherandgrieve-14621815

I can appreciate this.

I’m listening now to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s 1967 speech at Riverside Church, Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break the Silence. Dr. Just a year prior, MLK and Thich Nhat Hanh met after TNH sent a letter to MLK as a plea for support to end the Vietnam War and ask of peace. The two became friends and Brothers as they brought messages for peace to many Americans and abroad. Together they explored the concepts of Beloved Community, community bound by collaboration and cooperation and conflict resolution and restoration that our world still so desperately needs. May these concepts take hold of our heart and drive energy to our feet as we walk paths toward peace and justice. In Gaza, Ukraine, Congo, and more.
An excerpt:

“My third reason moves to an even deeper level of awareness, for it grows out of my experience in the ghettoes of the North over the last three years — especially the last three summers. As I have walked among the desperate, rejected, and angry young men, I have told them that Molotov cocktails and rifles would not solve their problems. I have tried to offer them my deepest compassion while maintaining my conviction that social change comes most meaningfully through nonviolent action. But they ask — and rightly so — what about Vietnam? They ask if our own nation wasn’t using massive doses of violence to solve its problems, to bring about the changes it wanted. Their questions hit home, and I knew that I could never again raise my voice against the violence of the oppressed in the ghettos without having first spoken clearly to the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today — my own government. For the sake of those boys, for the sake of this government, for the sake of the hundreds of thousands trembling under our violence, I cannot be silent.”

So much applies today. As we fund a war that is relentlessly destroying, and slaughtering a people, destroying communities, communities in our own country face crisis including homelessness in chilling temperatures.

From my early days of Chaplaincy Training. What does spirituality mean to you?

I work with so many people who consider themselves spiritual, but not religious. I love working with people of all kinds, religious, or not. Raised with a religious upbringing, or not. Most people who work with me have questions about religion and spirituality and at some point we get into some of these conversations and have beautiful deep discussions about existence and sometimes after life.

It’s all so individual and beautiful.

So, what does spirituality mean to you?

***rchaplain

Let us Love 💕 each other and may the healing continue. Let 2024 bring our hearts closer to peace and our souls nearer to their destiny. Happy New Year 🎊 may peace and liberation prevail.

Our bodies are constantly giving us information about our grief. In this blog post, I share some of the most common physical manifestations of grief that may arise after a loss. Do you have any to add?

How Grief Affects Us Physically (Part 1): Common Symptoms of Grief and Loss As a grief and bereavement counselor in Seattle, a common topic I discuss with clients is our physical responses to grief. Our bodies are constantly giving us information, and the more we slow down and listen, the more guidance we’ll […]

New blog post up on my site: What Do I Do With Their Ashes?
Yes! They can be used in a tattoo! (Full article in bio..)

So you made it through the difficulty of a sudden loss, or diagnosis, illness, and death, and the memorial celebration is now behind you. If your loved one was cremated, perhaps they left specific directions on what to do with their remains. But if not, now you are faced with another difficult decision: what do I do with the ashes of my loved one?

Deciding what to do with the cremated remains, or ashes, of our loved ones can be a deeply personal and emotional choice. While more traditional options like scattering ashes in a special place or keeping them in an urn are still common, there are increasingly creative and unique ways to memorialize your loved ones. In this post, we’ll explore some unconventional yet touching options that cater to various preferences and budgets, ensuring that everyone can find a meaningful way to remember their loved ones.

1. Planting a Memorial Tree: Life from Ashes
For those who want to celebrate life in the face of loss, planting a memorial tree can be a beautiful and environmentally friendly choice. Many organizations and nurseries offer memorial tree planting services, allowing you to choose a tree that holds special significance. The ashes can be mixed with other nutrients (the pH of ashes alone is generally not good for plant growth) and then mixed in with soil, providing nourishment for the tree as it grows. This option not only contributes to the environment but also creates a living tribute that can be visited and cherished for years to come.

2. Create Memorial Jewelry: Keep Them Close to Your Heart
Another intimate way to honor a loved one is by turning their ashes into memorial jewelry. Various artisans and jewelry designers offer customizable pieces, such as pendants, rings, or bracelets, incorporating a small amount of ashes into the design. This option allows you to keep a physical connection with your loved one, and prices can range from affordable to more intricate, depending on your preferences and budget.

Our collective grief and mourning in these difficult times is asking to be tended to.. but how do we even begin to address our suffering and sadness, anger and dismay?

Every month I host a free (donation based) online program called Gather and Grieve, with Upaya Zen Center. During this Thursday's program, we will hold space for the deep grief abounding from the current wars, including the moral distress experienced when bearing witness to war crimes and so many innocent people and children lost.

October is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month, so we will be holding space for those who have lost children, both born and unborn.

We will also hold space for other loved ones lost, in the recent 49 days in the bardo of after-death, and honor anniversaries and birthdays, as well hold space for other forms of grief.

We will be held together this month by the beautiful piano music of Azadi Amaan throughout our time together.

Please join us with your practice of compassion, in communal and collective grieving, together this Thursday, October 19 from 5-7pm Pacific.

Registration link is in my l1nktree under Gather and Grieve.

Much love,
Rev. Jess

Our collective grief and mourning in these difficult times is asking to be tended to.. but how to we even begin to address our suffering and sadness, anger and dismay?
Every month I host a free (donation based) online program called Gather and Grieve, with Upaya Zen Center. During this Thursday's program, we will hold space for the deep grief abounding...(more in comments) - https://www.upaya.org/program/gather-and-grieve-online-2023-2/?pid=2550