Therapy with Zalman

When someone is hurtful to you in their words or actions and they say "I didn't mean to hurt you," what does that mean?

For some, they say it defensively to protect themselves, because admitting they did something bad, gets distorted in their mind to mean: I am bad. But that's their issue, due to their own struggles with esteem, validation, self worth.

For others, it’s an important part of their acknowledgment that they regret hurting you, and need you to know that they know it was hurtful, but not intentionally hurtful. As if they were seeking to do harm. That helps. Still hurtful, but its someone you can work with since they acknowledge the mistake, and reassure you there was no sinister plot to be hurtful.

Have you struggled in an argument where the person told you that they didn't intend to hurt you, and you feel that they meant: You shouldn't feel hurt since I didn't intend it?

How is your relationship with finances? What does it teach you about you and what emotions does it put you in touch with?

Things don't HAVE to continue to be just because they always were. Of course, it's challenging to break out of all that momentum and so much practice and experience of the old ways. But we can break out out, just a bit each day done consistently, adds up.

From: Scorch Clarity

Control Your Temper

Your anger and temper are a part of you trying to get your attention and communicate with you about your unmet emotional needs.

To truly control your temper, you need to learn what those feelings and needs are so you can meet them effectively. Then, naturally, your issues with anger will face and respond well to all your efforts to improve.

Control Your Temper #relationshipskills #selfimprovementtips I'm Zalman Nelson, LCSW – be sure to: 👍 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 | 📨 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 | 📢 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 | ▶ 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄for better relationships through self improvement...

How many of these points to you see in the people around you currently in your life? Post the number below in the comments

The People in Your Life Are A Dartboard

The People in Your Life Are A Dartboard #relationshipskills #selfimprovementtips I'm Zalman Nelson, LCSW – be sure to: 👍 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 | 📨 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 | 📢 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 | ▶ 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄for better relationships through self improvement...

WATCH: It's Really Difficult, But It's The Key to Everything

It's Really Difficult But It's The Key to Everything #relationshipskills #selfimprovementtips It's Really Difficult But It's The Key to Everything In this video, we’ll tackle the difficult but essential topic o...

I had to go through so much darkness to find my light. 🙏🙏🙏

When someone is speakign with you or sharing what they're going through, they need first and foremost to feel heard and understood. That is an act: you gave them yourself, your attention and time; validate them. YOu don't have to give advice or tell them how to fix or change anything. Just listen.

Without that, giving advice feels like you're rejecting them and telling them it's not okay to feel. That they should do what you tell them in order to make it go away

Break Free From Neediness and Insecurity Using THIS:

Break Free From Neediness and Insecurity Using THIS #insecure #selfimprovementtips I'm Zalman Nelson, LCSW – be sure to: 👍 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 | 📨 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 | 📢 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 | ▶ 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄for better relationships through self improvement...

WATCH – How to Master Your Emotions: Feelings Chart

Control Your Emotions: Feelings Chart I'm Zalman Nelson, LCSW - an online relationship therapist. 👍 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 | 📨 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 | 📢 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 | ▶ 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄This video discusses an ex...

What to think about and contemplate. Helps us feel a bit more, and deeper, about the words we often say.

Don't do this. Instead: feal, then deal.
First, consult yourself and tune into the feelings that are coming up for you in response to the situation and what you think should happen in response (be brutally honest). Then, your emotions are calmer, your logic is restored, and you can be more tactical. And that's the best time to speak and act, to make decisions about your response.

We have certain basic emotional needs that went on met in childhood. And hopefully many that were met. But the ones that went on met, over time we developed various ways of coping and trying to fill in and deal and handle it. Typically, they're not really helpful or effective, and those are the kinds of things that we find ourselves struggling with later on in life. Those are things like people pleasing, or always seeing herself as a failure or unworthy or no good or undeserving. It's the kind of feelings we often see triggered in our interactions and relationships, and the unmet emotional needs they indicate underneath. But it's not so easy to change. We have been leaning on those attempts at coping for a very long time, like clinging to a life raft while the flowing in the ocean. It's almost like we're addicted to these ways of being and seeing ourself, even though they hurt and they're not really helpful, and they don't truly meet our needs. Still, it's not so easy to let go, and to embrace a different way of seeing ourself that's more loving and compassionate, understanding and authentic, real and understanding. but if you're here, and part of you is open to and looking for change and to make an adjustment, and to evolve and develop your relationship with yourself, then you do have that courage to break free and meet those on med emotional needs, and transform your relationship with yourself, which automatically transforms your relationship with everyone and everything around you.

Watch now to learn how to use red flags to navigate relationships effectively. Learn to identify warning signs and filter out incompatible partners. Don't waste time with the wrong person—discover how to cultivate healthy, fulfilling relationships!

Explore personal growth and understand how red flags can empower positive life changes. Shift from victimhood to empowerment as you take charge of your journey.

How to Use Red Flags for Better Relationships I'm Zalman Nelson, LCSW - an online relationship therapist. 👍 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 | 📨 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 | 📢 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 | ▶ 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄How to Use Red Flags for B...

Discover Inner Child Work: Transformative Insights Await!

Join me in exploring the profound realm of inner child work. Learn to navigate your inner landscape, understanding the interplay between your adult self and inner child. Uncover how past experiences shape your emotional responses today and embark on a journey towards personal healing and growth. 💖

💔 Healing inner child trauma is a courageous journey. Gain practical insights on navigating past traumas with grace and compassion.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Explore the power of reparenting your inner child for emotional freedom and healthier relationships.

🌟 Whether new or seasoned in inner child healing, this video offers a heartfelt invitation to embrace self-love and embark on a journey of healing.

A Better Relationship With Yourself: Inner Child Work I'm Zalman Nelson, LCSW - an online relationship therapist. 👍 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 | 📨 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 | 📢 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 | ▶ 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄A Better Relationship With...

Start today and be consistent, even 10 seconds a day using a feelings chart. Better relationships, improved communication, finding good partners and avoiding bad ones, feeling happier and more confident, and developing a strong sense of validation and worth.

Start today. One day at a time. At least 10 seconds using a feelings chart to name the feelings you notice were present when you were triggered.

Unlocking Childhood Memories

In this video, we explore what to do if you're struggling to recall your childhood memories. Feeling disconnected from your past doesn't mean all hope is lost for healing and growth in the present and within your relationships.

Sometimes, being unable to access childhood memories is a protective mechanism, a way for a part of you to shield you until you're emotionally equipped to handle them. Recognize that your triggers in present-day interactions may stem from unresolved childhood experiences, as your inner child and adult selves coexist within you.

By delving into your emotions with curiosity and acceptance, you can begin to understand these parts of yourself more deeply. Through consistent effort and self-reassurance, you create a safe space for suppressed memories to resurface, fostering healing and personal growth. 🌱💡

What Can I Do If I Can't Remember My Childhood? #childhoodtrauma #repressedmemories What Can I Do If I Can't Remember My Childhood?💢𝙃𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙤 𝙂𝙪𝙮𝙨 𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙤💢In this video we will talk about what you ca...

I think this is awesome, powerful, very real, and on target. So interested to hear what you think as you read it, contemplate it, and connect to it.

Watch and learn how to be RELATIONSHIP READY!

Before diving into a new connection, ensure you're relationship-ready! Reflect on past relationships, understanding your needs and desires. Communication is key—share your insights with your partner to avoid assumptions. Embrace self-awareness, work through triggers, and acknowledge emotional baggage to foster growth and healing. 💑✨

How to Get Relationship Ready #relationshipready #datingtips How to Get Relationship ReadyI'm Zalman Nelson, LCSW - an online relationship therapist. 👍 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 | 📨 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 | 📢 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 | ▶ 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈?...

Ever feel like you're putting in effort, but your partner isn't responding?

In this video, we delve into the incredible secret of love languages. Discover how understanding these languages can transform your relationship, enhance communication, and foster a deeper connection with your partner.

Learn about the five love languages, why they matter, and how to navigate them for a more fulfilling and harmonious partnership. Nelson explores how recognizing and catering to your partner's unique love language can transform your relationship.

Dive into practical insights and learn how to make meaningful deposits in your partner's emotional bank account.

The Secret to a Happier Relationship: Love Languages Zalman Nelson, LCSW - online relationship therapist. Be sure to 👍 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 | 📨 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 | 📢 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 | ▶ 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄Ever feel like you're ...

Unlocking childhood memories for growth and healing! 🌱 In this video, you'll discover how to navigate a lack of access to childhood memories. Learn why it's not about hopelessness but a protective mechanism. Explore triggers in present interactions, understand your emotions, and gradually uncover memories. Connecting with your inner child and creating a consistent, safe space can lead to profound self-discovery. 🚀 Watch now for valuable insights!

What Can I Do If I Can't Remember My Childhood? #childhoodtrauma #repressedmemories What Can I Do If I Can't Remember My Childhood?💢𝙃𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙤 𝙂𝙪𝙮𝙨 𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙤💢In this video we will talk about what you ca...

Explore a crucial aspect of relationships: identifying and addressing blind spots in personal and couple growth. Recognizing and actively working on these blind spots leads to healthier connections, greater relationship readiness, and improved communication. Trust and openness are key as you seek feedback from your partner, fostering personal growth and minimizing common triggers and conflicts. Watch now to enhance your self-awareness and strengthen your relationship!

Relationship Blind Spots || Zalman Nelson || #blindspots #relationshipadvice Relationship Blind Spots|| Zalman Nelson|💢𝙃𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙤 𝙂𝙪𝙮𝙨 𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙤💢In this video we describe and discuss an important...