Anchored Harts

Friendly Reminder:

Teachers are our front line workers.

They. Are. Not. The. Problem!

The problem is the system they are working in. It’s made to churn out individuals with a blanket of general information and teachers are asked to do so with an inadequate budget, and a system run by people who don’t have experience (or don’t remember what it’s like) in the classroom.

If you happen to have a child (or children) that don’t fit the standard educational model, you (and hopefully your child’s teacher) will have to spend every day fighting the system to get them what they need.

Every teacher I’ve met has become a teacher because they want to help kids. Often times, they become jaded and/or leave, not because of the kids, but the system.

We need change.

For our teachers,
For our children,
For our future.

Still working on this myself…

We all have times when we question our parental choices. It’s inevitable.

I am currently in one of those times. I can’t see the road ahead and I don’t know which fork to take.

The stress of it is eating at me. Is it healthy? No. But it doesn’t have to be to exist.

When I’m in these phases, I really struggle with sharing our battles. I’m sensitive to what people have to say.

Even the most mundane statement can be twisted into a negative judgement in my stressed out anxious mind. Again, it’s not healthy. I can rationalize that, but my brain still defaults to feeling judged.

It’s a vicious cycle that I’m trying to break, but it’s going to be a long road.

This week has been hard. So hard that I’m noticing a significant decline in my mental health.

I have entered an anxiety spiral that I can’t seem to escape from for more than a few hours. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle when advocating for my children.

I attended a workshop on Tuesday with and all about moving from survive to thrive.

Based on a question asked, I realized that I recognize successes in my life when I am in service of others, especially my children. While being a mom is an essential part of my being, I am coming to realize that I need to find success in things I do for myself as well. And with the lack of successes this week, I’m being extra hard on myself.

I am making it a goal to take time to sit outside, by myself, to allow me to collect myself mentally. Whether I just sit, or listen to a podcast, or listen to some guided meditation, my goal is 2 minutes. I’m starting small so I am guaranteed success.

Do you have a small goal set for yourself to have a guaranteed success? If so, what is it?

It’s a daily occurrence.

Why? Because we attempted to give him the cup that he asked for, but it’s now wrong. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Happy Mother’s Day to all the women out there.

Hope you enjoy your day!

Just a boy who loves to play in the sun ☀️

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!

This week has been trying to say the least. My computer usually has too many tabs open, but now my brain does too.

Celebrating this sweet boy turning 5 months old today.

I would rather go without than wrestle all 4 of my kids while trying to finish my shopping (or a meal).

Delivery is also acceptable 👍🏻

When you look in the mirror, you may see someone you don’t physically recognize or are not entirely happy with.

Try to remember that the same body that you are silently judging has done amazing things.

Our bodies may not be as they once were, before motherhood took hold, but they are beautiful beyond words.

This device right here has played a major part in my anxiety journey, equally harmful as it was helpful.

For my oldest three children, I was a proud formula feeding mom. I knew in my heart that I didn’t want to nurse and that exclusively pumping would negatively impact my mental health. I made the choice for my children to have a happy and healthy mother.

This pregnancy was different. The formula shortage became a major issue very early in my pregnancy. That is when I decided that I would pump. It gave me time to mental prepare as best I could, but I was anxious. But pumping wasn’t really what made me anxious… it was the idea that I wouldn’t be able to feed my baby.

He was born, beautiful and perfect, and my pumping journey began. We gave him formula the first couple days because my supply hadn’t come in yet. But my anxiety got the best of me about 4 days postpartum and I ended up having panic attacks every time I would pump.

Almost 5 months later, we are both doing well. He has eaten breast milk exclusively since January 2nd. I was able to donate some milk to a family in need and still have a decent stock in my freezer. I also have formula stored in my pantry, just in case.

My older three children are healthy, as is the baby. In 10 years, no one is going to know which of my children were formula fed vs. breastfed unless they ask. I stand by every choice I have made, for myself and my children.

Speech does not equal intelligence just as not speaking doesn’t not equal not intelligent.

Regardless of how you communicate, May the 4th be with you.

Happy Star Wars Day!

Living with anxiety can be a lot, but it’s worse when you don’t realize what you’re going through is anxiety and/or it’s untreated. As someone who recently suffered from Postpartum Panic Attacks, it can be super scary. Treatment does help!

Today is National Anxiety Disorders Screening Day.

If you or someone you know is experiencing anxiety symptoms and are unsure of where to get help, call 1-800-662-HELP. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Helpline can help you find a provider near you. You won’t regret getting help.

Our rare community lost a beautiful little soul this week far too young.

So…

Hug your babies today and everyday.
Play with them.
Give them all the kisses.

Soak in every moment, because you never know how many more you will have.

I am a serial apologizer. Even if something isn’t my fault, I’ll still apologize.

I’m learning that I don’t need to apologize for everything, and especially for things that protect things that are important to me… my home, my family, my children, and my peace.

I thought about adding so much more to this, but honestly, it doesn’t need it. So here is your reminder, as I know I often need to be reminded myself…

You. Are. Enough.

If possible, today is definitely the day to get outside!

IYKYK 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

My girl is just out there living her best life. She doesn’t have a care in the world for what anyone else thinks of her.

I wish I could live more like her.

Just take it. It’s worth it.

Sometimes, life gets hard. Some seasons are harder than others.

When you’re living your hard, sometimes it feels like there is no end in sight. It’s difficult to see it getting better.

It can be tough to remember, but it will pass. It may pass to something easier, or something equally as hard, but it will pass.

This is a phrase often used when talking about military children. They are often called brave, resilient, and strong.

What we need to remember is that military children don’t have a choice.

Even more important, military children bloom where they are supported.

We just spent 5 days away from home and while it was great to see everyone, it was also hard.

My kids thrive on routine, but it’s hard to keep a routine when you’re away. My kids also have zero safety awareness, which is why our house resembles Fort Knox. Unfortunately, that level of lockdown is not typically possible when we’re away and led to some issues.

You see, the big guy has it in his head that once he puts his shirt on, it’s time to leave. Since we aren’t able to keep things locked down like normal, he immediately went to the front door and opened it. Once we got everything closed up, we took a look around and our daughter was no where to be found.

She escaped.

My husband threw on his shoes and ran out the door in a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt while I ran around the house double checking every possible place she could be.

He found her. She was down the street and across the intersection. She was bare foot and munching on goldfish from her snack cup, completely unaffected.

We are grateful that she was safe and we are glad to be home where we have safety measures to prevent this from happening again.

I spend a lot of time thinking about standards and expectations. I have 4 children and three of them do not often meet the expectations of others. (The jury is still out on the youngest, as he is still too young.)

My oldest struggles to regulate his emotions and often lashes out. He isn’t able to hold a conversation even though he can communicate verbally.

My daughter has no words, minimal vocalizations, and zero care for social expectations.

My toddler also has very few words, though vocalizations are coming fast and furious.

The looks on peoples faces when they find out my children don’t meet their expectations or standards is often one of pity.

Don’t pity us. My children are amazing. They have so many fantastic skills that you won’t see if you choose to only look at what they can’t do… yet.

They may be working at their own pace and in their own time, but they are amazing. They set their own standards. In letting them, I have found immense joy in being part of their growth and development, as they have been an integral part of mine.

School has been super difficult for the biggest guy this year. After 2.5 years of being home for school (mostly virtually), transitioning to a brick and mortar setting has been more of a struggle than I ever could have imagined.

We are grateful that he has a teacher who has been willing to work with us and meet him where he’s at. Because of this, he has been doing school virtually since January. We recently transitioned to going in person two days a week, where he has been doing his lessons outside the building.

Just this week we have been about to have a full school session IN the building. This has been weeks in the making, but we are taking things at his pace… slowly but surely.

There is no greater gift that I can give my children than for them to know that my love for them is unconditional.

If they have a great day…
If they have a bad day…
If they are upset…
If they are frustrated…
If they are happy…
If they succeed…
If they fail…

No matter the circumstances…

… they are always loved and my arms and heart are always open to them.

If you know me, you know I would move mountains for my children. Unfortunately, the level of advocacy required when your children have a disability is well and above what anyone would expect. It’s constant. It often feels like I’m trying to physically move those mountains with my own two hands.

Advocacy is something that never leaves my mind and that takes a toll.

Regardless, I will never stop advocating for my children and for a society that accepts them without question.