iMediate Solutions, Accredited Mediators & Family Dispute Resolution

s, the process. Mediation is a process that allows two people to talk about the problems they are having and move towards resolving those problems. As a neutral third party, flexible and self determined the mediator assists both people to discuss their concerns in a private, safe and productive environment, to enable them to move forward. The benefits of mediation include:

Cost—While a mediator may charge a fee comparable to that of a lawyer, the mediation process generally takes much less time than moving a case through standard legal channels. While a case in the hands of a lawyer or a court may take months or years to resolve, mediation usually achieves a resolution in a matter of hours. Taking less time means expending less money on hourly fees and costs. Confidentiality—While court hearings are public, mediation remains strictly confidential. No one but the parties to the dispute and the mediator(s) know what happened. Confidentiality in mediation has such importance that in most cases the legal system cannot force a mediator to testify in court as to the content or progress of mediation. Many mediators destroy their notes taken during a mediation once that mediation has finished. The only exceptions to such strict confidentiality usually involve child abuse or actual or threatened criminal acts. Control—Mediation increases the control the parties have over the resolution. In a court case, the parties obtain a resolution, but control resides with the judge or the parties lawyers. Often, a judge or the parties’ lawyers cannot legally provide solutions that emerge in mediation. Thus, mediation is more likely to produce a result that is mutually agreeable for the parties. Mutuality—Parties to a mediation are typically ready to work mutually toward a resolution. In most circumstances the mere fact that parties are willing to mediate means that they are ready to “move” their position. The parties thus are more amenable to understanding the other party’s side and work on underlying issues to the dispute. This has the added benefit of often preserving the relationship the parties had before the dispute. Support—Mediators are trained in working with difficult situations. The mediator acts as a neutral facilitator and guides the parties through the process. The mediator helps the parties think “outside of the box” for possible solutions to the dispute, broadening the range of possible solutions. Mediation Is About You

Contrary to an adversarial divorce, mediation provides couples with the opportunity to process their thoughts and feelings on the various issues of their separation. You come away feeling validated and intact (not defeated or devastated, as is often the result of an adversarial divorce). With a mediator’s help, you build an agreement, determining such things as time spent with children (both regular & special times), child support, property division, spousal maintenance and any other issues you deem important. Through the mediation process, you identify and define what is of particular importance to you. Your values inform the process ensuring results tailored to your needs. Entirely Your Decision

You make the decisions; your mediator provides their expertise, a framework of the governing law, and keeps the conversations productive and focused. The outcome is based on what the two of you determine is fair, equitable and responsive to the specific needs of your family. Your Children

Experts agree that in almost all cases, parents are in the best position to determine what is best for their children. In an adversarial divorce, parents may unwittingly give up the power to make decisions on behalf of their children. A Judge, Independent Children’s Lawyer, Counsellor or Psychologist, who has had limited contact with you and holds limited knowledge of your family, may heavily influence critical decisions affecting your family’s future. In mediation, parental knowledge, insight, and love govern the decisions made, by you, on behalf of your children. Instead of forcing children to choose between you, by choosing to mediate, you choose them. Mediation protects children by allying their parents rather than dividing them as combatants. When parents choose to mediate they send the message that they are taking control and are sharing responsibility for resolving the current situation. They set an example of managing conflict with respect and creativity. Mediation tells children that they are being parented and that they are safe, even as things change. Your Family

It is undeniable that families change as a result of divorce; what that transformation looks like is up to you. Families are, by nature, dynamic, growing entities. Change, even unwanted change, need not break or diminish the family spirit. Change can make space for healing and growth. Divorce may present the opportunity to create a system that is ultimately healthier and more functional for you and your family. Mediation supports the parties’ best interests, which in turn supports the best interests of the family. Divorcing parents will likely need to communicate, coordinate and problem solve together for many years to come. In mediation, parties can develop guidelines for future communications that suit them both. A foundation for and ultimate development of strong, respectful ongoing relationships will impact the quality of life for all family members for decades. The Gift of Mediation

Through mediation, you have the possibility of constructing a new model of problem solving, communicating and co-parenting. In the process of mediating you will have modeled this behavior for your children while protecting them, and one another, from the potentially damaging effects of expensive and adversarial divorce proceedings in court. Mediation provides parties an opportunity to address issues that have arisen during the course of their marriage, and to determine new ways to manage conflict so as to consciously shape the future of their communication, relationship and family. Whether couples determine to divorce or continue to work on their marriages, mediation enables participants to identify, express and address their needs. This process serves the future, whatever the future may be. Time & Cost Effective Divorce

By working out all the issues of the divorce together with the facilitative mediator, couples save considerable time and money that would otherwise be expended if the parties communicated via the parties’ own lawyers in the course of legal proceedings, and ultimately determined by a Judge if the matter proceeded to a trial. Unlike mediation, in legal proceedings parties have no control at all over the adversarial processes of the court – the dates, deadlines and ultimately decisions are determined by the court (and parties are mandated to adhere to them whether they like them or not). If a party wishes to change a date, he or she must make the request to the court, which may entail filing certain court papers. The consequences of failing to comply with an order imposed by the court can range in severity. A compulsory schedule invariably increases pressure and the sense of urgency with which parties are already struggling. All the while the enormous costs of engaging lawyers for representation spiral out of control. In mediation, the parties are bound only by the timetable they create for themselves, and the final decision is theirs alone to make. Flexible Appointments

Mediation allows the parties to arrange meetings around their schedules, minimizing disruptions to normal work and school days. By maintaining the family’s (or business’s) regular calendar as nearly as possible, parties can provide an important source of predictability and structure. Legal and non-legal issues of import can be discussed and decided. Sessions can be used to address a wide array of concerns impacting disputing parties. Mediation allows the parties to remain in control of unsettled issues – Once the parties arm themselves with opposing legal counsel, the opportunity to discuss personal aspects of the marriage is typically lost. In mediation, the chance remains for parties to address unresolved issues from the marriage. This can provide parties with clarity, closure and liberation. Better Agreements, Greater Compliance, Better Results

Non-judgmental and confidential, a trained mediator is uniquely equipped to furnish an environment where parties can speak with candor and without risk. This ultimately leads to better agreements being made by the parties, with better results and a greater level of compliance. Mediated disputes rarely return to court; parties are satisfied and comply with the terms and conditions because they have chosen the terms and conditions themselves.