Smiling Cocoon

Smiling Cocoon

Awakening Marriages - Transforming Generations You've been stuck on the back of a branch, in a gooey mess, struggling to emerge…to become fully you.

You know that it means discovering the freedom of who you were meant to be, by finding more time for reflection, more money to support your direction, and relationships that champion your dance. Your marriage is meant to feed your soul and inspire generations to follow.

09/07/2024

We have the ability to change the world into a more peaceful place!!

BUT…we have to be intentional.

We must awaken to the fact that we have the power!!

No one, no government has taken it away.

They have tried to silence our understanding, to cover the truth with the veil of deception. All marketing does that!! Buy this and your pain will be resolved. The message they are delivering overall is that YOU need US to feel good!!

That’s a lie!!

They are capitalizing on our limbic brain, the primitive protective system, the part that is reactive instead of responsive. This is our default.

We don’t have to stay in default mode.

We each have the power of a billion cells…right inside of us!! It’s who we are!

We have the power of an evolved prefrontal cortex. It is where we can change reactions to responses. It’s in the pause that a response can be garnered. That pause, as science has proven, only needs to be 90 seconds. Viktor Frankl hinted to this when he said, “between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose.”

When we awaken, we see that those billions of cells in our one being affect the billions of people in our one being - the universe!

We can have a peaceful world.

One peaceful being to another ♥️🌏

Photos from Smiling Cocoon's post 08/07/2024

Stop and smell the roses 🌹

In our own version…a step off the highway to the National Park - Terra Nova.

We played with the connors…it’s the name we call small fish by the wharf. Not sure if that’s a real species or a name we have given them. After all, we call flying ants…emits!! 😂😉

And, we explored a dream of boating in something like this. 🛥️

28/05/2024

This is not to say women who love the expensive boujee are better or worse.

This is about me…this is me 🙋🏼‍♀️

12/11/2023

Pumpkin pie in the works!! I love being able to use my Halloween pumpkin for more than decor.

06/05/2023

Pema Chodron has so much wisdom to share, but this one phrase says so much about living an examined life.

I began my spiritual quest at quite an early age where I attended many religious denominations’ services and events. I felt comfortable in most places. I did go about with a confident air, but i’m not sure how much was fake or assumed expected since I was the oldest sibling, and responsible since the age of one!!

Anyway, all of this exploration lead to natural questions caused by the subtle conflicts. I had yet to meet a dear friend who practices moslem religion and whose conversations opened my mind about perspective and how we can consider factors and ignore others that some may not. I know, it can be confusing to follow. But, that’s the point.

Nothing is firm ground. Everything is being reborn every moment and only some of us get to be together at any one time. Others can be together when we explore each other on other dimensions, such as a memory of the past or an imagining of the future. Since, we too are not solid and we change, depending on the observer. The flower that is now blooming, again this year, after being in hibernation for a few months, is part of my existence today. The buds are waking up while I observe in awe. Daily I see change. It reminds me of the precious time we have together and why it’s even more important than ever to want to put time into awakening our marriages!?

Yes, things will die. You will pull out the weeds. But, you’ll also reveal some of the beauty that’s been there all along. Maybe just dormant like my amaryllis. Waiting for a little sunshine and a quenching drop of water.

When you take the time to see your own complex character and the time to see your partner in all of their dynamic traits that make up the complex creature that they are, a valuable starting point will be recognized as having made progress in awakening your marriage.

You will begin to recognize that we all have the same desire…a desire to love parts of ourselves, change other parts and ignore yet others. Then, of course there’s the ones that we don’t see…yet!

And, what we also have in common is that we want to be given the space and encouragement to work on learning to love those parts that are loveable, disciplining those parts that we are improving and ignoring those parts that we aren’t ready to deal with yet.

As you provide each other space and encouragement for the things that spark each other’s joy, you will begin the awakening path. You will start remembering the dreams you once shared and come up with new ones. Seeing each others best and helping each other through the painful times without having to find solutions for relieving the pain. Rather to be with the other in the pain.

When you begin awakening your marriage, you’ll begin to get real about putting plans into action for your dreams, knowing that you have each other when painful times arise.

We don’t know what is in store for our marriages going forward, but what we do know is that we’ll ebb and flow with the tides of life, one wave at a time. When we ease into life and recognize our oneness, we can see clearly that our actions have ripple effect. That we can add to the healing of our world. That indeed, awakening shines the light on our creative nature, our evolving lives.

12/03/2023

It isn’t about me anymore!!

It’s about you and your families. It’s about the generations that will follow.

I started my self healing journey because I couldn’t take life anymore. I wasn’t suicidal, but wondered most days about the purpose of it all. Why so much pain? Why has the man I thought I couldn’t be without no longer intriguing? I was no longer attracted to the idiosyncrasies that made up his unique personality. Now, they had become irritants!!

What happens in a relationship that started out with determination? We were hell bent on being together. We would walk through fire to get married. There was opposition everywhere we turned. From the churches to our parents. Even our friends thought it would fizzle out when the s*x could no longer bind us together.

They were half right!

It wasn’t until years of cleaning up our messes, wearing our masks and tip toeing over the egg shells that kept everyone from digging into the truth that we would come to realize the experience of what everyone else believed about our marriage. That it wouldn’t last. Somehow we knew that we had to get back to our deeper reason for connection.

It wouldn’t be easy, since those messes were only hidden away, under the proverbial rug. We hadn’t discussed our desires for years. We had forgotten about what we desired and focused on the trash that kept us apart.

When we first started dating, we couldn’t get enough of what each other had to say. We had loved processing our fresh ideas through each other’s interests and curiosity. We wanted to have a family. We wanted children and laughter. We had wanted compassion and comfort. We wanted to do this for a lifetime and to pass this desire to the next generation.

We learn through experience.

We believe what gets reinforced.

We needed a better way to have these desires show up in our lives.

It was time to stand in the gap - to make a stand for our children. They are learning, after all, the beliefs that we have carried. We needed better beliefs so that they could fulfill their desires, giving them the tools to expand into the next generation. It was getting late. They were teens by the time we realized it. But, better for the next generation if they are in their teens. After all, we were in our thirties by then. Our parents had not really come to this conclusion. Or perhaps we haven’t recognized it. Mine were divorced when I was in my twenties. They couldn’t reach that original desire that they had when they spoke their vows. His parents, although still together for over sixty years, are still living with limited belief in the joy that they could experience. The tension can be writhing under your skin, knowing how much better their lives could be if they only believed that they could have a compassionate and comfortable relationship, one where each person felt supported and empowered.

It really doesn’t matter what phase of life you are in. Each new day, each new breath provides the opportunity to learn, and to put that learning to good use…it will steer the direction of generations to follow.

Timeline photos 11/03/2023

Remember…this too shall pass. Just like the water in the river, passing by the banks that weave in and out and that encounter rocks and boulders along the way, all the while carrying the dead. The dead of the branches that have left their trees, the dead of fish that have given their clothing of this time and place.

Learn to let it flow.

Life will move on…transform…evolve…alchemize and continue.

It is best to recognize the impermanence of everything and to go with the flow.

Everything will become healthy…you, your relationships, and your environment. We owe it to ourselves and each other to recognize and appreciate each fleeting moment ♥️

06/03/2023

My uncle encouraged my husband and I to follow our hearts. He said that if we didn’t do it now, we’d regret it down the road. We’d never KNOW the outcome and we’d always wonder.

I’ve come to discover that it’s best to just follow that yearning. It’s there for a reason, and the reason doesn’t always appear as we imagine. In fact, the twists and turns seemed mountainous at the time.

It took a year to develop a business plan that worked on paper and to align all the elements it took to purchase and renovate the structure we had acquired for the business operations.

What we had not considered was the time it was going to take to build that dream, how many people would want input to be considered and the restraints of the location.

We forgot to consider that shops all close at 5 during the week. No picking up supplies after working throughout the day. It was how we did things before moving.

Everyone in the area wanted to hear our story and to fill their curiosity about what we were doing. That took time, but we considered it worth it. We wanted the neighborhood to take us in, to love and support us, as we did them.

After two seasons we closed the restaurant. It was daunting to say the least. We didn’t know where we would turn. Everyone else left to find their own way. We couldn’t blame them, but we-my husband and I, were in it together!!

This was probably the first time since our “come to Jesus” moment around year 15 that we had to face troubled waters. This time the tide went way out. It seemed a long breath was needed. We got still; I read and devoured teachings on changing beliefs, patterns and behaviours.

Inch by inch, breath by breath and step by step we climbed out of pi***ng and sh****ng in a lug-a-loo to owning two beautiful homes that we are getting ready to share with the world.

The business may not have turned out as we expected, but what we’ve learned along the way couldn’t be taught from a book or training session. It had to be learned in the mud. There’s a famous Buddhist saying, “No mud, no lotus!”

We are relishing in the fragrance of the lotus and enjoying her beauty, knowing full well, that she will die soon and there will be other moments of beauty to be enriched by. Jeremy Hall says, in his song, Great Storm Clouds, “Great storm clouds holding rain
It's part of nature to hold a bit of pain
All in all that rain falls and then we watch a new thing grow.”

Experience is what life is. Even if you try and fail, at least you’ll know the experience of that which was tugging at your heart and you’ll come to understand the beauty in the lessons learned.

03/03/2023

At first read this might seem desperate and hopeless; however, reread it to see where there is hope.

We can find the hope in understanding how it is that we could change from holding old grudges. And, working together will lead us toward renewed life.

We can help the planet, but it begins with breaking down walls, and coming to the understanding that we are one. One planet, one people.

The astronauts who first left this planet for the moon stood there looking down and could see no lines that separated us. They saw now names of countries or colours of people, they saw no labels that we call reality. Neither did Chief Seattle, who wrote this more than 100 years ago.

You can start right here and now. You can start with your own life, your own partner, your own family, your own community, your own country, your own continent, your own world. It is then that you will see, that your own world is the same as my own world. That we are one people on one planet. That we are all beings coexisting in one space. We can make that space beautiful and supportive.

I send love to all of my fellow sentient beings ♥️ thank you for showing me your love 🙏🏻

25/02/2023

It’s time you drop the self defeating talk!

Trust me, you don’t want to spend anymore time feeling bad about yourself.

It’s time you start treating yourself like the special, unique soul that you are.

You are special and leaning into that acceptance brings forward your special contribution to a better more loving and accepting and united world. When we begin to see our interconnectedness, the experience becomes expansive and we get to feel better, to feel understood, important, connected and loved.

This all begins at Home.

At home in ourselves and then to wider family network. When we celebrate the unique characteristics of the person we married, we begin to ignite those qualities.

When we got married we were thinking it was for life, then it got ruff!!

We resisted the changes as life delivered challenges and those changes didn’t align with our expectations.

It was a struggle that I am so thankful for today!!



A light came on and I dug into who I was and who I wanted to be. Amazingly, it opened the doors for my husband to become all of who he is.

Shine your light ✨

The world needs YOU!

25/02/2023
24/02/2023

Do you want to be seen by your loved ones?

I know that I do.

They want to be seen too.

We tend to shut down when assumptions are made about us. When I assume that my husband doesn’t care about me because he left the dirty dishes on the counter (we don’t have a dishwasher), I leave no room for him to be caring. He only shuts down and closes off…becoming defensive. I do the same when assumptions are made about me.

When I get curious about the why, I might find out that he is struggling with feeling good about himself because he’s trying to land a job and didn’t have the capacity for the energy it takes to be still with the dishes and needed to escape into other realms of self-soothing.

We can become more intimate when we get curious instead of critical, when we categorize actions according to our assumptions.

Try being curious today. You could find out something new and interesting. This could be the catalyst for expansion. 🪷

22/02/2023

Beginning your day jumping out of the bed after hitting snooze as a marathon - starts out in stress.

Your kids suffer, your spouse suffers, and it trickles down to your colleagues at work.

I know!!

The impression I left with them was one of fear, hurt, rage or apathy.

These are not the qualities I want to be remembered for.

Starting your day with intention can make a huge shift in your life. When you think of the ways in which you would like to be remembered, you begin acting from love.

Now, that’s how I want to be remembered…as love ❤️

What about you?

21/02/2023

It may not have been optimal when I tried to incite my husband to prove my beliefs about myself. The ones where I didn’t think I was enough…pretty enough, s*xy enough, smart enough, rich enough…on and on.

But, I did the work. I’m learning that I am enough. I’ve always been enough. I just didn’t realize that I had the power to believe it.

Now that I do, I take deliberate action to demonstrate that I am enough. I care for myself. I feed myself well, I nurture myself with good books and I surround myself with people and things that support me 🪷

I encourage you to dig deep. Unearth the you that is your true nature. Everyone will benefit 🙏🏻

20/02/2023

Every moment is a learning opportunity.
Every day offers new possibilities.
Every breath, a chance for peace
It’s okay to love yourself as you are ♥️♥️

19/02/2023

My prayer for you today… & every day 🙏🏻

19/11/2022

Let’s celebrate 🎉

This morning’s reading of Thich Nhat Hanh’s How to Connect was hard to put down, but this never left me…

This chapter!!

What are you waiting for?

14/05/2022

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