Narcissist Free

Are you in relationship with a narcissist? Visit our new website to find out. NarcissistFree.com

When someone in your life is a narcissist

The other woman... it SEEMS she’s getting a changed person (or those dealing with narcissistic woman: next person in her life is getting treated better: more respect, kindness, validation, etc).
But let’s get this straight: a “nice” person would NEVER have been that unkind, uncaring, rude, betraying, and belittling in the first place.
And IF THEY DID CHANGE, it would take YEARS of therapy and no dating in order to do so.
The biggest lie next to the fact they s/he wore a mask, is that your were treated like shot because you deserved it. Because YOU were the problem. And that, my friends, is the biggest lie we believe for many months and years after the relationship is over. The lie is perpetuated when we see him/her doing a 18 with the next person.
IT’S A LIE. It’s not a 180. It’s a 360.

Do you have a narcissistic parent? This might help!

When you want to begin your argument with them with, “I can’t believe you...”

That’s a sign.

Believe it. Believe it and more. It’s true. They don’t care. They really, truly: DO. NOT. CARE.

Loves first kiss ... of death. Don’t we know the lies and betrayal... oh but not at first. In the beginning we fell for their compliments, their adoration. We were their answer, their best friend, soul mate, the answer to their prayers. Never had they such a person as us.
It’s all so contradictory to the hatred, disgust, belittlement they share with us in the end.
The brutal discard as if none of their words were true.
They weren’t.

We were poisoned by the one we came to love... the one who spoke of love soon after the first kiss. The one who adored our minds and our bodies. The one who noticed our quirks and seemed to delight in them. We let down our guards, and invited an enemy into our hearts.
Does this sound like her or him?

We’ve all done it.

We believe social media will give us insight to what just happened or perhaps give us a glimpse into the narcissist’s new life... they know this and use it as a showcase for how awesome their life is now — intended to inflict pain on you.

All it really does is make us feel like crap. It’s not helpful. It makes us feel worse. And it prolongs our healing.

Try to stop... get a buddy you can call instead. Get a therapist who understands narcissism — THIS IS CRUCIAL!!

Has your cyber stalking ever really given you relief? Do you recommend it? Let’s give some advice to those struggling with their ex moving on

Narcs and Psychopaths are hellbent on destruction, particularly relationship destruction, and even more particularly than usual, during a special day, like Christmas or your anniversary or your birthday.

Holiday tips:
1. Refuse to play along.
2. Leave the room.
3. Focus on your wellbeing.
4. Don’t invite them over.
5. Consider being on your own.

Credit: Soul GPS

Planned discard. Someone else is being groomed and you are on your way out. They will make it so excruciatingly difficult to be with them that YOU will consider ending it. Then they cannot be the bad one. You are. And once you end it, they are off to the races with someone new, free from the drama that they will blame YOU for. Meanwhile you’re left alone, sad, heartbroken not understanding how thy could move on so quickly. They meant something to you... and you’re grieving so much that you can’t imagine being w someone else.

THIS IS TYPICAL NARCISSISM!!

The psychopath carefully selects the most indifferent & heartbreaking way imaginable to abandon you. They want you to self-destruct, cleaning up any loose ends as they begin the grooming process with their latest victim. They destroy you as a way to reassure themselves that their new target is better. But most importantly, they destroy you because they hate you. They despise your empathy & love—qualities they must pretend to feel every single day. To destroy you is to temporarily silence the nagging reminder of the emptiness that consumes their soul. -Psychopath Free

The mask falls each and every time.

We need all of our energy to heal. As hard as it is to let go and let the new supply take over what you once loved, it’s in your best interest to do so. The new supply will need to learn for his or her self what they is dealing with. The new supply won’t believe you anyway. The narcissist has convinced the him/her that you are the toxic, sick psychopath. He or she has painted a picture of you that is not very pretty. The new supply will never trust you.

Encountered one today. Blindsided me. I’m on a Facebook community group for the small village I live in. He managed the restaurant next door to my nex, the cafe where my nex found his next victim. The manager apparently lives in my town. He knew my name. I did not know his name. He brought up events from 4-5 years ago on a post I created about an issue in our town. Wow. He said he has a file on me and knows more than I realize about me. He poked fun at me. Laughed at me. Made fun of my post. Told me to delete my post. Just overall a very abusive person. The moderators removes him from the post. If I hadn’t been through so much therapy I’d have been triggered worse. He’s a mosquito, an annoyance at best. But, wow. 4 solid years of No Contact with the abuser and here I was on social media, a man threatening me and basically telling me and The Who town I live. That I’m crazy. Hello Fly away please as***le.

Narcissistic abuse is one of the most harmful types of psychological abuse. It renders the victim unable to think and reason clearly due to the increased stress and the eventual adrenal fatigue.

This, in turn, triggers a number of possible outcomes, among which the most devastating effect could be an anxiety disorder, major depression, or both. This further increases your susceptibility to the narcissistic abuse and your inability to escape it.
https://curiousmindmagazine.com/anxiety-disorders-and-major-depression-are-linked-to-narcissistic-abuse/
Take steps to get out of Hell. Read about narcissism. Find support. Walk away. Get help. Do what you can.

During the relationship, you probably spent a lot of time with their words. Cherishing them, idolizing them, analyzing them, and ultimately distrusting them.
And now, you’re unraveling these illusions. You don’t fully understand how their mind works, but you know something wasn’t quite right. So there’s going to be a battle going on in your own mind—a battle to quell the dream of love & passion, so that you have a chance to see things rationally.

I read an old message from the ex narcissist that I kept in my journal. Glad I saved it. I read and re-read and saw how much he loved me. Then I read MY journal entry after. He had made me to feel I was not worthy. I was alone in the relationship. He barely talked to me when we were together. There were a list of lamentations I recorded, none of which were actions that lifted me up. He brought me down, left me feeling lonely and isolated when we were together, and miserable. It was a stark contrast to the lovely message he wrote.
Have you experienced similar?

Sometimes it takes being loved for real, in a healthy relationship, to truly understand what our past relationship was like. We KNEW things weren’t right. But in time, looking back, eventually we see how jacked up it was with our ex.
💜💜💜

We were manipulated also by their charm. It was so convincing, we fell in love. They could win academy awards for their performances — it was all so real!! So believable. This is why it is devastating when we learn they’ve replaced us. We are old & outdated, of no use for them anymore, even though it was just a few days earlier when they professed their undying love. It seemed so real!!

I’ve been getting messages from men who’ve dealt with female lovers lately. This post is for you.
Female narcissists are almost as threatening as their male counterparts, but females have a certain protection through stereotypes such as “sweet young girl,” a “nurturing mother,” and the “kind little grandma.”

No one thinks the sweet older woman can be vindictive, menacing, and ruthless.

How do you know of you’re with a narcissist? Mostly, it will always be you with the problem, not him or her. It’s rarely their fault. Listen closely when you are around them. It’s always someone else who’s fault it is. And if it hadn’t happened already, it will be you next. Eventually you won’t be able to do anything right in their eyes.

Breakfast is over cooked
You drive too slow
You’re too demanding
You’re a princess who always needs to get her way
You’re demanding
You’re needy
You don’t appreciate them
You make too many mistakes
You get on their case too much
You’re never happy

Sound familiar?

Does your ex trigger you via text? That’s a sign of abuse... emotional abuse. It’s hard to block an ex when you have to co-parent. I get triggered when I least expect it. Tomorrow is my birthday and he managed to throw a dagger the night before. Every holiday or anytime I’m looking forward to a celebration of sweet weekend with my son, he finds a way to gain power and control. Just when you think he’s being a good guy, just when you think he’s not so bad anymore... Slice. Stab. Stomp. He always tries to one up me, out wit me and never EVER is he kind and understanding (like in the beginning of the relationship). Narcissist are cold blooded killers. Maybe they don’t murder your physical being but they can and do murder your soul. It’s best to stay away and never EVER forget or let your guard down. Be careful. Death is always around the corner if you’re not.

A few days after the breakup, they’re posting pictures with someone else. Someone you’ve never seen before. They make no effort to hide their latest conquest. In fact, it feels like they’re showing the new target off. They feel no embarrassment and no guilt. You know it’s a bad idea, but your curiosity gets the best of you. You start peeking around, discovering that this new person has been interacting with your ex for a while now.
Before you know it, they’ve changed their relationship status and their friends are all enthusiastically congratulating the happy couple. They’ve clearly known about the new partner for some time now.
While you were written off as the crazy ex, the next target was already preparing to take your place. -Psychopath Free

In most cases, psychopaths are obsessed with making sure that they break up with you. This is a sign of power & control.
When the psychopath is the one who’s discarded, you should prepare yourself for months—if not years—of stalking and harassment. Until they find another victim, they will pour all of their rage into ruining your life.
They may also try to win you back. Don’t be fooled. This is their final manipulative attempt to turn the tables—so that the dumping can occur on their terms.
They put their newest target on display because they want you to know about him/ her. They’re waiting for your reaction. . . . .
I’ve heard from 100’s of you over the years (sorry I can’t get back to everyone’s DM)... and I’ve heard all the stories. They all sound like this. ALL OF THEM. And in the beginning, MYSELF INCLUDED, it appears they give their new supply everything YOU always wanted. They appear happy. In love. She gets everything you wanted. They may even get engaged!!! Married!! Even have babies! My ex can play this role for years. But that’s all it is. A role. An act.
Narcissists do not change. Not now. Not ever.

If you have some bad days, don't fret. Shake off the argument with the narcissist because he or she will NEVER respect you and hear what you have to say. Unless of course, he or she is a covert narc. Then eventually they will apologize and act normal .... for a while. If you find yourself constantly scratching your head asking yourself "How did we get HERE again and why am I trying to explain simple logic to a grown man or woman?" then KNOW you are right and not crazy. They are disordered and cannot not and will not ever pay you the respect you deserve.

You’re NOT crazy. You’re NOT to blame. You’re NOT imagining things. You’re NOT the one with the problem. Things are NOT your fault. You are NOT an idiot or stupid or a bitch or over-reacting. What you see is CORRECT. What you FEEL is real. You’re assessment is spot on. And the best part? You’re stronger and smarter than you think. Run with that!.

You know it’s not right to be with them but every cell in your body wants them back. You ache with excruciating pain lining for someone you know it not right for you. That’s narcissism right there. You’re dealing with a psychological manipulator and abuser.

How many times have we crawled back with an apology because we can’t stand the pain (agony) of the silent treatment?

The narcissist will claim that you are impossible to please any time you bring up an issue or you stand up for yourself. This is the narcissist’s line of defense. It is a way of discounting anything you have to say that might be valid. .
The narc is not listening.