Sacred Heart Healing Arts

A new post on my substack, where I share channeled work on the planet, healing and consciousness; love poems; and other musings. Join me.

Our nervous systems are always reading each other.

If we are in a state of calm, we naturally share that energy with those we engage. People tend to feel more calm in our presence as a result. Our systems are shown a settling they are somatically invited to move toward.

Or if the energy of calm registers in our systems as misattunement or inappropriate for the situation (real or perceived) another’s state of calm may actually also aggravate our dysregulated state.

(It’s our nervous system saying: “hey, there’s a beast about to get us, your calm isn’t gonna get us outta here, we need action!!” for example)

Our activated states are also read by other nervous systems. If I am agitated, worried, overwhelmed, your system is going to read that.

(Like we’re a gazelle herd on the open plains and I’m telling you there is danger, your threat system will automatically turn on)

So we may feel anxious or activated in another’s presence because of the nervous system information our bodies are sharing.

I can like and want to be around you, but my body can register danger or dysregulation and not feel safe.

All nervous systems read other systems. And some of us have more sensitive systems than others (looking at you empaths and HSPs). Meaning we feel more intensely or are affected by other’s states to a greater degree.

This is why bringing awareness to the influences of others’ systems on ours can bring us more understanding, and ultimately more choicefullness, as we can tend our systems as needed.

(By knowing/honoring/advocating for our somatic boundaries, coming back to what is ours, and resourcing/regulating when our systems state change to match another’s).

One way to cultivate attunement with others is to dip into their dominant state a bit (while anchored in calm) so their system registers your somatic empathy, and then show them the way to a more resourced state. This can all happen non-verbally.

A regulated nervous system and one able to attune to others is a gift we give to each other — our children, our partners, the world.

Learning to become a more active and aware ally with our animal bodies is the way to do this.

When I became a mother, I got soft.

Physically, my body went from lean and slender, to full, round and a bit squishy. In those early days of my daughter’s infancy, the softest moments were the most meaningful.

When I swayed her gently, bounced her as she cried, ran my finger along the chubby creases of the most adorable wrist I’ve ever seen. Soft in our nursing moments, soft in our daylong snuggles.

My soft animal body showed her body that we were safe. Safe to connect, to bond, to nurture the love between us.

Of course motherhood isn’t easy, it comes with sleepless nights, epic energy output, the back-burnering of personal needs, and more.

But it’s also completely magical. It’s magical because of the softness it invites.

These quiet moments of softness are a great gift to (and from) our animal bodies + human souls. They are what makes all that love, care and tending possible in the first place.

Every mother knows that soft is a superpower. Every child does too.

And when life gets all life-y, sometimes that knowing gets veiled. We forget how to get soft.

Part of the intention of my upcoming The Soft Animal + the Soul workshop is to support you to gain greater access to softness as a superpower.

In my next post I’m going to clarify more about this word SOFT and how I’m using it. And explain the meaning behind the name of my upcoming workshop.

What does it feel like in your body when you imagine arriving in the place or state you desire?

How do you hold yourself?

How do you walk?

How do you dress?

How do you spend your time?

What are your relationships like?

What are the feelings inside you?

What becomes possible here?

Feel it. Imagine it. Embody it.

Can you come from this place, right here, right now?

What if this was the way?

Post it love notes, edition 2.

As a deep processing HSP + lover of words, I write love notes to myself when I’m making sense of experiences, want to anchor in self-compassion, want to remember something important or am working to shift something.

Here are a few more (see this post’s next door neighbor for others).

I’m sharing because maybe something here will serve you too.

Which one lands most in you?

PS: do you write yourself love notes?

I write love notes to myself when I’m processing + making sense of a big experience, want to anchor in self-compassion, want to remember something important or am working to shift something.

Here are a few, relationship edition. I’m sharing because maybe some of these messages I’ve needed to hear, you need to hear too.

Which one lands most in you?

Another edition coming soon…

PS: do you write yourself love notes?

A traumatized body is in a patterned adaptation of remembering and anticipating threat, danger and pain.

It prioritizes vigilance over vitality because it is geniusly triaging for your survival.

When we give the body consistent cues of safety and begin to track disconfirming experiences, we can come out of protection and open into safety, joy and pleasure.

The body is the gateway to our fullest soul expression.

What’s one thing you can do today that feels like safety and joy in your body? Do that.

New art series: The soft animal + the soul.

We can take numbness, judgement, and repulsion toward our sadness and merely drive it deeper.

Or we can meet it in the body with some of the best friends around: warmth, curiosity, and presence. All words for Love.

Love. You.

I’m moving through PTSD right now. Flashbacks. Hypervigilence. Unhelpful mind chatter. Chest crushing anxiety. Days that just floor me.

I’ve been engaged in healing + wellness work personally and professionally for decades. And I’m not immune to trauma. No one is.

But I’m privileged AF to have continents of care tools in my world. So here’s what I’m doing and not doing right now.

DOING

🌹practicing radical self compassion. “It’s okay that it’s not okay right now, love, I’m here and I’ve got you. What happened sucked. What is happening makes sense. It’s not your fault. We’ve got this, one day at a time. I see you and I love you. Just like this. You’re not broken, you’re fu***ng beautiful.”

🌹Talking about it. Getting support. Moving it through my body (hello shaking and sounding). Resting a f*ck ton more than I’m comfortable. Nervous system regulation practices all day. Writing. Sunshine.

🌹 taking itty bitty tolerable steps my wisest self knows are good for me + celebrating the hell out of the ones I complete.

NOT DOING

❤️‍🩹 entertaining any interactions that aren’t soothing, nourishing, or joyful. Tending my energy + capacity. Letting myself cocoon + move slow. 🐢

❤️‍🩹 ignoring or avoiding what’s here. Judging or putting pressure on myself to hurry up already and be through it (I actually tried that and what I stepped toward was a dumpster fire). Trying desperately to fix it. I’m don’t need to be fixed, I need to be loved + nurtured + allowed by ME. 💥

❤️‍🩹 letting myself be imperfect about it. Like I made myself some boundaries around phones and alcohol and bedtime and I’m not doing it perfectly. But everyday I commit again and decide to be gentle with myself. 🕊

Everyday I commit again and decide to be gentle with myself.

I share to destigmatize the hard s**t a lot of us are walking through in silence.

To say, babe: you’re not alone. And if no one told you today—you’re brave AF and you’re doing great and f**k it’s hard and I’m so proud of you. And I believe in you. You are not broken. You are love in a body. You make sense. You are so worth safety, exceptional care, and to be seen, known and loved just as you are.