Believing Wives

✨ Join us for Beloved Week 2024 – a virtual oasis for Christian women seeking inspiration, connection, and soul restoration. From growing your faith to loving your life, each day holds an opportunity to deepen your relationship with God. Register FREE today!

https://www.belovedwomen.org/a/2147832307/pHS7Znuq

🌿 Calling all Christian women: It's time to prioritize spiritual growth AND self-care. Join me at Beloved Week 2024 for daily live events, empowering speakers, and soul-nourishing activities. Register now!

Link: https://www.belovedwomen.org/a/2147832307/pHS7Znuq

There is nothing wrong with great coaching, mentorship, or teaching. We need it, as a matter of fact, but nothing changes us more deeply than God's Word.

The answers are there.

The wisdom is there.

The next step is there.

The course correction is right there...in His word.

Let's commit to seeking Him through His word.

I happen to know an amazing group of ladies who gather Tuesday nights at 7pm EST to apply His word to their lives. We would love for you to join us.

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/755634055?pwd=MWw3VXZsblcwWTJNVXNHcHRPbE5EUT09

It's here - Believing Wives Retreat 2024!

Are you ready? We are EXPECTING BETTER this year, and I mean in a major way.

We are heading back to beautiful Virginia Beach, Virginia to enjoy a beautiful home right on the beach. Your retreat includes food, lodging, conference materials and a little swag, and great fellowship with wives who are looking forward to better right alongside you. You will have plenty of time for quiet, rest, and relaxation, too!

The last 6 years have been phenomenal, but year 7 is going to blow them all away! I hope that you plan to attend and that you plan to come with great expectation.

Registration is open but limited: https://believingwives.com/retreat

You will rarely FEEL as ready as God KNOWS you are.

Move anyway.

Over the last few weeks, I have had to move with my knees shaking and questions rolling around in my mind.

Even while others affirmed me, encouraged me, and even celebrated me, I still was unsure.

I didn’t feel ready. I felt that I needed a little more training. A little more time.

As much as we love “acceleration” and “suddenlies” they really can leave your head spinning (Amos 9:13 MSG).

But I knew what God told me. So, I moved forward. I said yes.

And now, I am out here…in this position…standing on His word…His promises.

And I am so glad I did. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine, but it is beautiful and peaceful because I know that I am smack dab in the middle of His perfect will.

And isn’t that enough?

Whatever He is calling you to, whatever He is asking you to do, make the move.

He wouldn’t ask it of you if He didn’t know that you were ready…even though you don’t feel ready.

He has a good plan for you. He knows what you need. He will be right there to help you.

What leap is asking you to take? This is the perfect chance to say yes.

I fell down the stairs.

Actually, slid down the stairs would be more accurate.

Hit every step…leg flying high in the air, back hitting every step, and slid like a cartoon character for what seemed like forever.

I just sat there once I stopped sliding contemplating life 🤣

Then I got up and carried on like nothing happened.

Until a little while later when things started to hurt…places that I didn’t even realize were injured.

It made me think of these three things:

1) if we aren’t careful, we will trip over things that we once mastered. I’ve walked up and down the stairs for years, but for some reason this time they mastered me🤣 We have to stay humble.

2) we can’t try to act like trauma didn’t happen…I tried to keep moving as if I didn’t fall, but I did…and it hurt. We may move through trauma, but we don’t always move past it. We can’t leave things unaddressed.

3) some injuries have lasting effects…I fell a week ago, but there are still places on my body that are still tender. Recovery is not always instantaneous, but if I am careful and patient it will happen. I just have to be willing to acknowledge the pain and work through it.

Falling at my age is definitely different than falling at 18, but the lessons are the same.

I’m just going to stay grateful that I didn’t suffer any major injuries and humble because none of us are above the occasional slip.

💖

As hard as it may be to hear, we have to choose to be offended. Think of the language we use when talking about it “I take offense to that” or “I took offense to what she said”. We decided to pick it up and take it.

It’s our choice.

We choose to throw shade. We choose to send that petty email. We choose to treat someone differently when they do or say something we don’t like.

And if we choose our way into offense we must choose our way out of it.

God has given us this power in our marriages too. We get to make the choice moment by moment whether we are going to live unoffended or live full of offense.

If we are going to carry something against our husbands or if we are going to free them and ourselves.

Let’s get offense out of our hearts and let’s make room for God to heal the places that we hurt.

If you need a little more on offense and how it damages us, head over to YouTube to watch the series "Living Unoffended".

https://www.youtube.com/c/BelievingWiveswithDebraCheek

You need friendships. Safe spaces. Accountability.

Married folks need married friends...friends who will lovingly tell them the truth, provide a sounding board, and gently correct if needed.

We were designed for community and accountability...not to do this alone.

I want to personally invite you to join our community of wives - Believing Wives. Whether you check out the website or YouTube channel, subscribe to the newsletter, or join us virtually every Tuesday at 7pm EST you will find a community of transparent women who have one goal - being the wives that God designed us to be.

We are living witnesses that changed wives change lives.

Join us tonight. https://us02web.zoom.us/j/755634055?pwd=MWw3VXZsblcwWTJNVXNHcHRPbE5EUT09

As women who lead, it's easy to slip into the role of mom or boss with our husbands.

But it is also unwise.

We aren't their moms or bosses. We are their wives.

Our role isn't to tell them what to do, manage their time, or punish them when they do something that we think is wrong.

Our role is to partner with them - journeying alongside them for the fulfillment of the mission of our marriage.

Let's be careful of the tone we take with our husbands. God calls us to respect them and their role in our lives.

Just be his wife. It's such a powerful and important role. Be so good at being his wife that there is no question about it!
..if respect is a concern for you, head over to the YouTube channel and check out the video "How Not to Be A Wife - I was so disrespectful". I detail how my disrespect caused issues in my marriage.

https://youtu.be/9NsgrHqaFwA?si=Iuz0-laSvYQPShQv

Let God's voice be louder than yours.

Sometimes you've said enough words, and you just need to cultivate an atmosphere of peace and create a safe space.

Nagging, harping on things, and consistently complaining may make it hard for your husband to hear. So, get quiet.

Take a step back.

Talk to God and trust that He will answer.

Your prayers can accomplish so much more than you think.

Join us for Believing Wives tonight at 7pm EST as we talk about creating safe spaces. https://us02web.zoom.us/j/755634055?pwd=MWw3VXZsblcwWTJNVXNHcHRPbE5EUT09

Surrender.

It’s not a glamorous word. It’s not one of those words like “intentional” or “focus”that make you think of taking action and making things happen.

There are still some areas in my life - my marriage, my parenting, my decisions - that need to be surrendered to Him.

Areas that need to bow in humble submission to His will.

Plans that I need to surrender.

Ideas that I need to surrender.

Dreams that I need to surrender.

It’s not quitting. It’s not giving up. It’s not just waving a white flag.

Surrender is agreeing that God’s sovereignty reigns over every area of my life; acknowledging that His plan is not only better - it’s the only one that I want.

Yeah…surrender.

I’m offering up a fresh “yes” to God today…another level of surrender…and I believe that it will open the door for knowing, loving, and partnering with Him even more.

And I believe that my marriage will be better because of it.

Surrender is the word that is resonating with me. What word has God given you?

Marriage is fun!

Or it can be if we don’t take ourselves too seriously.

My husband is always going to “do the most”. He just is. He’s going to be silly or a little loud…or just a little over the top.

And early on, I wanted to change that. I wanted him to calm down and be a little less “life of the party”.

I wanted him to act like me (as if I was perfect 🤦🏾‍♀️).

When I stopped trying to make him act like someone else, I realized how much fun he is and how much his joy has inspired and impacted others - most importantly our children.

Let’s focus on being light-hearted this Christmas season. If we find reasons to laugh and smile (and God has given us many), let’s embrace them.

Smile until your cheeks hurt.

Laugh until your belly hurts.

Feel joy until tears well in your eyes.

We can have that in our marriages. We can keep it in our hearts.

Enjoy your man and enjoy your marriage!

John 16:24 - ”You haven’t done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy.“
‭‭John‬ ‭16‬:‭24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Holidays can be stressful!

Yes, they are beautiful, and we can't wait for them to arrive, but if we aren't careful we will succumb to lots of pressure that wears us out.

Let's not do that this year.

Choose peaceful instead of perfect.

Choose present over being pulled apart.

Choose pacing yourself over panicking to get it all done.

We've got to keep the main thing the main thing - celebrating our savior with the ones with love.

Which one of these mindset shifts resonates most with you?

Well done. 🙌🏾😭

I want to hear God say, “well done.”

Don’t you?

I want to be the wife He called me to be.

I want to be the mom He called me to be.

I want to be the friend, sister, and daughter that He called me to be.

I want that more than the approval of others.

I want that more than invitations and engagements.

I want that more than likes and follows.

I’ve had to check myself on that desire this week. I’ve found myself battling insecurities and inadequacies, and I realized that I was measuring things by the wrong metrics - looking at “it” and “them” instead of Him.

This life isn’t a performance, but there is an audience

…an audience of One

Let’s live out every scene - marriage, motherhood, ministry, and everything in between - in light of this.

Let’s live well for His “well done”! 🙌🏾

“His Lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your Lord.’”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭25:21‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I'm too tired.

In the early years of marriage, I said those words a lot. I wasn't using them as an excuse...at least I didn't think I was.

I had a lot of responsibility. I was raising a house full of babies while my husband worked at night. I was teaching full time. I was serving in ministry.

So, there were times that I had very little left at the end of the day.

I was too tired.

But my husband pointed out that I wasn't too tired to take on extra roles at work or extra responsibilities at church. I wasn't too tired to talk to my friends or spend time with them. I wasn't too tired to get up early or stay up late if it was what I wanted to do.

I said I was too tired, and what he heard was that I was too tired for him.

He heard that he wasn't a priority...that he wasn't even that close to the top.

He heard that I had energy for what I wanted to do, and it didn't seem like time with him was what I wanted.

He heard that I didn't care about his needs or wants.

And the truth was that he was never too tired for me.

Being too tired will eventually damage your marriage.

My challenge for you today is to take a good look at your schedule and eliminate the unnecessary so you can have time and energy for what really matters.

Make time for your husband - INTENTIONALLY. Prioritize him. Make him feel wanted because he is...isn't he?

"The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband" - 1 Corinthians 7:4 (MSG)

What will you do to make sure that your husband is a priority?
..and if you need a group of wives to process and share with - to grow with - join us for Believing Wives Bible Study every Tuesday night at 7:00 pm EST. Link in bio.

It’s not just a ministry name. It’s who we are.

Wives who believe.

We believe that God can change us and our husbands.

We believe that His word is true.

We believe that marriage is important, and that God’s advice about it is the best advice there is.

We believe that our role as wives is super important.

We believe that we don’t have to do it all, fix it all, or make it all happen.

We are believing wives, and we have seen God’s hand work mightily in our lives and marriages!

Are you a believing wife?

Marriage is holy.

It's not just a piece of paper. It's an institution designed by God to give us a glimpse of His never-ending, unfailing love towards us.

We have to learn to honor marriage again and realize that by doing so we are honoring God.

We must stop taking it for granted and treating it as common.

It's holy matrimony.

Wife life is absolutely full...errands, work, events, parenting, managing schedules and home...

No doubt, you can think of things that I didn't include. Our lives are full, and those blessed, full lives can also become riddled with distractions and things that pull us apart.

But if we get still enough and quiet enough, we can hear the Lord beckoning us to get away...to pull back before we are pulled apart.

To recover the life that He designed for us to have.

He calls us to silence and stillness because the world can be really noisy. It can be so loud that it makes us forget why we are really doing the things we do, or it makes us unable to hear His instructions for how to do it.

Whether it's a few moments before everyone wakes up, lingering in your car before going inside your home, or a few quiet moments after you've put the children to bed, we need times of silence and solitude.

Even Jesus took time away from the crowds and meeting needs. We need to as well.

We are discussing the power of spiritual discipline in bible study, and silence and solitude are the topics for tonight. I would love for you to join us. It's going to be powerful.

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/755634055?pwd=MWw3VXZsblcwWTJNVXNHcHRPbE5EUT09

There is no healing for the wounds you pretend you don't have.

I was raised to be strong. Not to show signs of weakness. Suck it up, buttercup. Don't you let them see those tears fall.

But there is freedom in vulnerability, and there is healing in acknowledging weakness.

Be honest about what has hurt you...what has wounded you...and allow God to heal that area.

Those hidden wounds and offenses are impacting your friendships, your thoughts, and your marriages.

God wants you to be totally free.

His grace is sufficient for whatever your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Overflow!

I have been impacted by Overflow Church in more ways than I can count in these last few years.

I’ve made some amazing friendships. I’ve seen God’s hand in fresh, new ways. I’ve been exposed to a level of simple freedom that breathed new life into me.

I’m not a member of the ministry, but I certainly know I belong and am welcome every time I go.

I’d love for you to meet me there if you can. You will certainly know that you belong!

I’m in awe and honored to share with Overflow Recovery on Monday night. Hope to see you!

What are your goals for November?

Here are mine:
- increase my quiet time with God
-journal daily
- drink at least 40 oz of water daily

I'm determined to be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10) so that I am clear about my next steps in marriage and ministry.

What are you goals for November?

He made me a believing wife!

I don’t think I post my husband that often, but I am fully aware that I am a believing wife because of him.

It’s not just because we went through a lot…trust me - we did.

It’s because he pushes me, encourages me, supports me, and was willing to do the work and walk with me with full transparency.

I don’t have to shrink because of him.

I don’t have to be ashamed because of him.

I can do this work because of him.

For sure, it’s been God’s doing (and it’s been marvelous in my eyes), but I am married to someone who has been willing to grow, change, and do the hard work that marriage sometimes involves.

I’m celebrating my husband today, not just because it’s his birthday, but also because he is worthy of celebration.

I don’t think we do that enough.

Find a reason to celebrate your husband - a reason to share your appreciation. You will be glad that you did.

Grateful.

I’ve been trying to find the words that articulate the retreat this weekend, but I can only sum it up with this one: grateful.

Grateful for the wives who push me and this vision - those who have sown so much of themselves into Believing Wives.

Grateful for the wives who came with great expectation, willing to receive and share transparently believing that God was going to answer their prayers.

Grateful to our great God for filling our hearts, giving us instructions, healing, delivering, and renewing hope!

I’m reminded each year that all He asks is that we create space for Him, and He is faithful to fill it.

We’ve crossed over. Believing Wives Retreat 2023 is in the books, and my heart is so full.

Oh yeah, I’m so grateful!

It’s going to work out.

As much as I love ministering to others, today I am ministering to myself too.

It’s going to work out.

God still heals.

God still provides.

God still restores.

God still makes ways when we can’t see the way.

He is still God, and we are still His children. It is His good pleasure to give us the Kingdom, and He will take care of us.

I’m not sure what’s on your heart today, but hold on to the fact that God promises that all things work together for our good (Romans 8:28).

Meditate on that until you believe it.

It’s all going to work out.

We can't stay the same.

We just can't.

We must grow, evolve, and adjust if we want healthy marriages.

We should not still react and respond the same way we did 20 years ago, right? We should have matured, adopted new, good behaviors, and let go of unhealthy ones.

Let's not justify bad behavior because we have practiced it for years.

Of course, great core values should remain solid, but any behaviors and attitudes that are ungodly and cause more harm need to be addressed.

We can't stay the same. As Believing Wives, we go from glory to glory!

Is God highlighting an area that you need to make some adjustments in? What step of faith will you take to indicate your agreement?