TMS South Africa

Healing from chronic pain takes a lot of introspection. Work that is not easy but helps uncover the essence of why our pain is needed as a distraction. The emotions hurt ( hence the physical pain hurts!). Which is the worse of the two? Many will say the physical pain is more unbearable- that is the point at which I myself decided to take a hard look within and confront my emotional demons. This is a work in progress- life’s work! Self care- mind and body. Body and mind. They’re interchangeable

Quote by Freud. One of the ‘ ugly ways’ is chronic pain. It’s a disguise and a distraction from deep seated emotions, including anger, hurt and sadness. Our subconscious brains try to repress to protect us from the severity of processing these emotions. But ironically our only way out of the pain is to face up to them head on. To introspect and turn that which is ‘ subconscious’ into the conscious and allow ourselves to ‘ feel’ them. I strive to help pain sufferers with this process- bringing insight to what is hidden, and relief to physical suffering .

A big part of the TMS healing journey is learning and practicing self compassion. It took me years to realize the power of being simply kind to myself- both in my thinking and giving myself time out when needed. “ we are our own worst enemies” is more than just a cliche- its the TRUTH for so many of us. The relief in befriending ourselves is immense.

Love this. My healing journey has helped me with a lot of letting go , but I believe this is life’s work and takes consistent effort and mindfulness.

It’s taken me a LONG time to internalize and act on the idea of inner love and self kindness. I think that a huge contributor to my chronic pain was the constant voice of criticism that used to sit within me 24/7. Every tiny ‘ mistake’ or ‘ error in judgement’ or ‘ possible wrongdoing to another’ was reacted to with inner anger, frustration and guilt. I was incredibly mean to myself. TMS healing- specifically the mindfulness component- helped me become aware of the constant presence of this inner voice and the extreme ramifications it had on my wellbeing. These days, I am highly tuned into what my body and my mind needs and tend to be as selfish as possible in meeting these needs( without hurting others)

Hey everyone :) It's been some time since I last connected with you all, so I thought I'd give a bit of an update.

The past few years have brought me some immense highs & lows. Moving to Cape Town in 2021 has been a source of incredible joy. The landscapes of this city never cease to amaze me and I have met some wonderful people and been re connected with my sisters who both live here.

On a very personal note, I've been raising a neurodiverse teen who is a twin to a very ' neurotypical' teen. She has grappled in so many areas of her life, it's hard to keep track of it all. It has been a profoundly challenging journey parenting two contrasting daughters of the same age, particularly over the last few years of their adolescence, and I have often felt completely out of my depth.

Additionally, last year I faced the heartache of a late miscarriage, an experience that, not surprisingly, led to physical manifestations of pain—headaches, fatigue, and IBS.

These experiences have been so tough, however at the same time they've also been transformative.

Throughout these trials, I've leaned heavily on my TMS (Tension Myositis Syndrome) knowledge, a mind-body healing approach that has been instrumental in my life. Understanding that physical pain often masks emotional distress has guided me to slow down, process my emotions, and embrace the necessary grieving. This introspection has not only helped me manage my pain but has also provided profound insights into loss and growth.

The journey has reshaped my relationships and the dynamics within my family, encouraging me to accept that sometimes, not knowing 'why' something happens can be a stepping stone to finding how it can transform us for the better. Looking back, like puzzle pieces fitting together, events in our lives often gain clarity over time.

Today, I'm at peace with where I am and am focused on spreading love and happiness, not just within my family but throughout my community. As a Lifeline counsellor, I find immense reward in giving back selflessly.

I'm grateful to be in a position where I can share these insights and support others. If you’re curious about TMS healing or mind-body practices, I’m offering free exploratory sessions. It would be a privilege to guide and support you on your journey to wellness.

Thank you for being a part of my journey. I’m eager to hear from you and help in any way I can xx

And Self Healing of course. Chronic pain sufferers WILL try look outside themselves,
Again and again. Then there are the lucky few , me included 🙏, who realize the answer lies within, and only then, will healing occur.

Love this- especially important for this month- October being mental health & awareness month. I particularly resonate with ‘ Trying to make everyone happy’ and ‘ needing to be perfect’. These two character traits were major contributors to my chronic pain. So often we make others happy at our own expense, not even realizing that we have compromised ourselves in doing so! There is such a fine balance between meeting our own needs vs those of others. That said , I strongly believe that if we become aware of this dynamic ,and try remain mindful in our everyday lives, our intuition will tell us the way forward.

Time is such a key thing in TMS healing. Taking Time out for healing is everything. Not putting Time pressure on healing is crucial. Giving yourself the Time and space to heal at your own pace is key. And of course, what better Time to start then NOW?

Holidays- even short breaks- used to be so hard for me-to the point of not being worth the effort and pain. Going away meant packing ( my pet hate) and leaving my routine, and this resulted in a ‘break’ with some form of pain which would inevitably be followed by exhaustion after consuming a painkiller( or 6 🙈). This weekend we went to Hermanus to celebrate my husband’s bday. What a treat! I did not experience a single bodily discomfort - in contrast my mind and body felt completely relaxed and I embraced the weekend with mindfulness and joy. Reminds me how far I’ve come in these past few years. Every ounce of healing work was so worth the effort and patience. The bottom line? When we heal our minds we heal our bodies. NOT vice versa as is the common misperception ( “ when Im out of pain I’ll be happy”)- not true.

FREE COACHING SESSION FOR PAIN SUFFERERS..read on… So here’s the thing, starting this healing work means taking a giant leap of faith because most of us( the former me included) would truly struggle to see how we can heal our chronic pain through inner healing work. Sounds fluffy, unrealistic and too good to be true right? I thought the same, actually initially laughed it off. But then took the leap of faith out of sheer & utter desperation after 14 years of aches, pains and debilitating chronic fatigue. To this day it amazes me that this work has healed me. It took time, energy and commitment but my lord did it transform my life- and in doing so the lives of my loved ones. AND im truly hoping that I can also add to that and say ‘ The lives of others’. I feel inspired to help because I KNOW what living in constant pain means and it is sheer bloody hell. And I KNOW that if you open up your mind, I can help facilitate your healing. So, all that said, I’m offering a free online 30 min session to any curious and open minded pain sufferers out there. Zero strings attached. Because I truly care about helping. Feel free to respond on the post or inbox me x

Chronic pain sufferers out there, here is the hard truth- The pain wont get better untill YOU do- within. This is why medical interventions only ease but do not cure most chronic pain conditions

From my client- so profound in its rawness “ I am reminded time and time again and especially this time, of why I contacted Natalie 3 years ago and it was in that epiphany moment that I learned it was the best decision of my life. A recent acute onset of lower back pain had me crawling on the floor, writhing in pain and the first thought was fu***ng hell do I need this right now. Well guess what TMS doesn’t have a timeline and it doesn’t visit by appointment only. It fu***ng hits you when you least expect it… don’t wait for TMS to shout, all those niggles and mild aches… those are gentle whispers which we ignore and the more we repress the more TMS shouts until we can’t move, we are trapped, suffocated, drowning in the volatile cycle of pain, grief and desperation. But then we contact Natalie and we are reminded of the message TMS gives us, of challenging our thoughts of fear in the moment to those of acceptance and loving kindness. And yes we take the anti inflammatories, we do the exercise, we stretch, we journal. We do every fu***ng thing we can but still the pain and we go back to questioning but WHY!! And then a few days pass and there is some light, there is some hope until another part of the body starts talking in a louder voice so our thoughts move.

And that is TMS. But I am 3 years down the line, wiser more knowledgeable and able to handle acute pain better (don’t get me wrong I have loads of ailments) but Natalie opened my eyes to a world I wish many people could visit in their lives”

This is so true, I’ve seen this time and time again with my coaching- clients who show upfront interest but drop off quickly, sometimes before the sessions even begin. And I get it, embracing that your pain, whilst absolutely real, is 100 % driven by your mind is really tough and generally comes at a point of sheer desperation and hopelessness. That’s definitely what happened for me. I sometimes ask myself- if I’d discovered TMS in my mid- late 20s, when my pain peaked, would I have embraced this healing path? My gut tells me it would have been unlikely. But then again I think often in life, solutions or opportunities come our way when we are at a crucial crossroads and ready to embrace change.

Part of the healing is understanding and embracing the fact that the journey to recovery is non linear however definitely moves on an upward curve over time. You will have good and bad days. The bad days are NOT a sign that you’re no longer recovering, they are simply a bump in the road to recovery, a totally natural par for the course. Don’t let them get you down or defeat you.

This most definitely took me out of my head and straight into the present moment- the most amazing Saint Bernard that I had the pleasure of meeting the other day( slobbered all over me till I was quite literally soaked 🤣).

What a lovely illustration I came across. This is so true to the essence of human beings vs animals. So much we can actually learn from our little fur babies. De cluttering the mind takes ongoing effort and persistence but even pockets of mindful time are so helpful in calming our nervous systems and making life feel more manageable. And of course its only through mindfulness that any real growth and transformation can happen

“ You are the sum total of all your choices” ( Wayne Dyer) . Connection with others has the power to heal.

Today we were driving home from Hout Bay and the sight of this magnificent sunset led me to park the car in order to get a proper look. As the sun was setting, I felt the warm air on my skin and turned to witness a rare moment of all 3 children laughing and appreciating the moment and one another. I was hit with the truth of an insight I came across a while back - this being that happiness is not an end reality but an appreciation of the small daily moments of joy. We get to this space of appreciation through mindfulness. My TMS journey continues to teach me the value of being mindful- am so grateful for that.

This is not surprising but yet so tragic- we live in a culture of medical interventions. Many of the ‘alternative’ interventions are also non holistic- addressed soley on healing the PHYSICAL body. It all starts with how doctors are trained at medical school- why is the subconscious mind not explored in depth when it actually drives 90 % of all our behaviors? It is only through my healing journey that I’ve come to understand and respect the monumental impact of the mindbody on our health. Chronic pain was one of the hugest challenges ive faced in my life, but I look back on my pain journey with gratitude as it has given me the immense gift of self reflection and growth, inner healing and the inspiration to help other sufferers with these valuable learnings

It takes bravery to ; acknowledge your pain is generated from a mindbody source and to pursue your own holistic healing- one of inward self reflection as opposed to seeking an external solution ( “ someone else will fix me” mentality); it also takes bravery to commit and stick to the healing path because healing takes time and grit- for most of us it is not an instantaneous result- but rather a result of determination, courage and patience. The other thing about mindbody healing is the knowing that whilst we still have a body and a mind, ie universal to all human beings , pain can and most likely will still flare during times of high stress- even post the initial healing. But an occasional flare up of pain and a chronic daily experience of pain ( paired with fear) are two very different things. Healing from TMS takes you on an ongoing journey of growth and self development and will undoubtedly change your life. So be brave and keep at it. And you’ll never look back.

This quote speaks profoundly to me. Both because of my TMS journey and because of the life change Ive been going through this year with my move to Cape Town- an incredible move but nevertheless unsettling- as change often is. My TMS learnings have helped guide me through this life transition. Ive had moments of feeling really uncomfortable and distracted- either emotional discomfort or physical discomfort/ pain. These moments are telling me to pause, slow down my thoughts and process what is going on for me inside- identifying the feelings and connecting with them. Not easy. But so important. Ive also learnt the importance of self compassion. I was always so hard on myself with super high expectations. As ive noticed my own pressurised thoughts around this move, my other voice has stepped in to tell me that ITS OK- change is tough, things will get easier with time and Im doing great so far. I find myself proactively seeking ways to de stress when I notice these critical thoughts , as opposed to falling into my old perfectionistic tendencies to try assert further control over my environment and body in order to feel okay. Ive learnt to pay real attention to what’s going on inside my body as my aches and pain are signaling tension and a need to understand what is creating this tension. This means confronting the pain as opposed to only numbing it with painkillers and pretending it never existed. The common thread to all of the above is mindfulness- noticing whats going on in our minds and bodies and realising the profound synchronicity between the two.

Acceptance is the key to healing chronic pain. We can only start healing once we accept that our pain , whilst entirely real, is not structural but rather generated from mindbody - entirely temporary and reversible. The need for complete acceptance is the reason why knowledge therapy/ education is one of the fundamental healing pillars. We can only accept once we understand. And we can only understand once we are informed . Take the time to learn, embrace and accept. Then drop the pressure and the healing will come.

I truly believe I could never have fallen pregnant with my 3rd child had I not gone through this healing journey. Inspite of years of trying to conceive, my mind -and therefore my body -was not in the right space to bring new life into this world. After I discovered this journey, I was hit by the hard realization that I had some internal changes to make and work to do . At this point I put the idea of a 3rd child out of my mind and got stuck in the work. My pain started to subside gradually after about 3 months and continued to improve month by month. There were most definitely times of setback , frustration and second guessing of myself. But I persisted. I knew deep within me that I had found the answer to my pain. As the pain started to subside, so did my happiness start to build within me- and not purely because i was in less pain, but rather because I was more enlightened - a great word as I literally felt lighter. So it doesnt strike me as strange that , 18 months into this journey, after deciding to try again for a baby, it took only a few short months and my precious boy- the vivacious fireman pictured here- was conceived.

I had a totally bizarre mindbody pain experience last week Thursday. That morning I had done a mountain run and had thought the rocks felt precarious on my ankles so I sat and re tied my laces and slowed down my pace. Felt great post run. That evening I signed up on a whats app group for a game of padel ( tennis/squash type sport) but Ive never played before so felt a little anxious signing up. 5 minutes after I signed up, I experienced agonising tummy cramps. I immediately tied this into TMS but nevertheless had to take a probiotic , lie still and do deep breathing for about 10 minutes untill the pain passed. 15 minutes later, my tummy felt perfect but my left ankle started hurting badly, so bad that I actually couldn’t move and had to hop on my right leg. The pain got increasingly worse till I desperately sought out a painkiller. Of course my first thought was that I injured my ankle on my morning run - a typical fear and ‘body’ response that worsens pain. But the more I reflected and then examined the area( zero swelling or bruising on the foot), the more I realized that this pain was mindbody generated, and that my mind used my ‘ ankle’ as a perfect distraction to get me out of worrying about the game and more importantly actually playing the game! Next day my foot was 80 percent better. Day after I was 💯 percent fine- I hit the gym with a run and swim. Mindbody pain is REAL , legit and can be debilitating beyond words. But if we process it for what it is and delve into the meaning behind the pain, the mind has no further cause for the pain- and the pain can cease or shift instantly!!

Love this breathing meditation, from Viki at the Mindbody Food Institute.

BREATHE...

Inhale permission to take in this moment.
Exhale all judgement.

Inhale acceptance of what's yours,
Exhale release of what's not.

Inhale curious self-awareness.
Exhale acknowledgement, and simply witness.

Inhale the moment, as it is.
Exhale your fears about it.

Inhale your potential to change it.
Exhale your ability to action it.

Inhale your power.
Exhale your commitment to yourself.

BREATHE. Be. Repeat.

TMS healing is a choice. Mindset shift? Yes. Hard work? Yes. Commitment? Yes. Patience? Yes. Life changing? YES!!!

A wonderful article in the Washington Post including research behind the effectiveness of Mindbody healing. An insightful insert is pasted below. Full link here: https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2021/10/15/chronic-pain-brain-plasticity/

"Warning us of danger is, of course, the proper role of pain. You wouldn’t want to step on a rusty nail and remain oblivious, carrying on with your day. But sometimes our brains misinterpret threats and overreact by causing or prolonging pain when no danger is present. With chronic pain, our nervous system, triggered by fear, gets stuck in fight-or-flight mode, switching on our body’s alarm bells in the form of physical symptoms.
The keys to healing neuroplastic pain are genuinely understanding that it’s not dangerous, and reducing the fear and other emotions that keep our systems on high alert.""

Perspective | Chronic pain is surprisingly treatable — when patients focus on the brain An unexpected therapy shows results.

‘Treatments’ for chronic pain will always fail if the pain is generated from mindbody( which is the source of most chronic pain). First hand experience means I know how hard these failures are, since each new ‘intervention’ gives us a glimmer of hope of becoming pain free, and with each failed treatment comes an even greater sense of disappointment and powerlessness. We cant allow failures to beat us though. It is only through failing that we learn new paths, with these new paths eventually leading to change and transformation. Perceiving chronic pain with an open mind means taking meaning from the constant failed medical ( or non medical) interventions and allowing this to drive a new healing path- that of mindbody healing.