The Medicalised Mumma

Just like that we have a kindy graduate! Our second baby to be heading to big school. Time certainly is a thief 🥹

Our first November spent without seeing the inside of a hospital room since she was born!

For some reasons November has never been our month. Her first year Nov was spent in the hospital with gastro and every November since due to epilepsy. Ironically Nov 29th 2018 was when she was diagnosed as well.

I can’t explain the gut wrenching anxiety November delivers to me each year. It’s been 4 years since the worst November of our lives seeing our daughter seize continuously wondering if we would ever leave the hospital. I can tell you that 4 years feels like yesterday, I feel the fear, anxiety and grief each year, the what could have been followed by the immense gratefulness our girl fought so hard.

Trauma comes in many forms and people process at different rates. Abigail as a little person has more than her fair share and us as a family would be happy never to see the inside of a hospital room again!

So here’s to our first November on the outside! 🥂

The Medicalised Mumma x

Will be forever obsessed with bubba kisses 😍

Most of you by now are familiar with Abigail’s journey and how we have had to navigate not only the medical world but also the special needs and disability world.

Recently after much denial on my part we took Hazel to a developmental paediatrician who after conversations with us and her kindy diagnosed her with ADHD and has scheduled an ADOS assessment in January. What most people don’t know is the sibling of a child with ASD has a 20% increased chance of also having ASD. When the first two siblings have an ASD diagnosis the third siblings chance goes up to 32%. I have a strong family history of ADHD which has been proven to have genetic factors and in most cases is present from birth.

Abigail currently isn’t medicated for her ADHD but Hazel is on 2 different medications. Each child who is neurodiverse will have a very individual approach to management and what works for one may not work for the other.

I recently spoke to a close family member with ADHD who described the relief they felt one they started medication. I had someone voice some strong opinions on medicating my child and I started to self doubt our decision. After hearing about various peoples lived experience with ADHD it was clear to me the profound benefit of medication and how it betters life and learning long term.

Never did I think entering into motherhood we would be faced with so many hurdles but I can confidently say I am a mum of two beautiful Neurospicy girls and I couldn’t be prouder of them!

The Medicalised Mumma x

This a deeply personal blog for both myself and my family. To read this one swipe through the tiles. This has been a huge shock to both Dad and the family and the progression of his disease has been aggressive.

I’m hoping by sharing this people around Dad can be a little more understanding and compassionate. I’m sure you will all show Dad love and support during this journey ❤️

Before becoming a mum so many people said that it’s hard, labour and birth, the sleep deprivation and breastfeeding and trust me it was but it was also beyond worth it.

This time I was prepared I knew what to expect, however what I wasn’t prepared for was for the way I felt mentally about the changes in my body after Harrison. The self acceptance just wasn’t happening after this pregnancy.

It was 12 months of self doubt, waning self worth and feeling incredibly unhappy with what I found in the mirror. There was no “bounce back” after this pregnancy, add into that the post birth hormone frenzy and the pressures of being “perfect” mum and my mental health took a pretty big hit. I was much more irritated, short of patience and just mentally fatigued.

When Harry turned 1 my mind frame started changing. I celebrated 1 year of breastfeeding and nourishing my baby with this body I wasn’t happy with. I started believing again when my husband said he loved me regardless, I really watched the way Harry would light up whenever I entered the room and snuggled him while he fed. I remembered that one day my girls would be in my position and I realised my mindset and the way I looked at myself would set the tone for how they looked perceived their bodies and that hit me hard.

When I approached my beautiful friend to capture some breastfeeding photos I was terrified of feeling less than. Having these photos was by far my biggest turning point, I remember Mia showing me this photo and a couple of just me and I remember being so shocked that the person I was seeing was me. In that short moment I realised that I am more than enough the way I am and my body has given me the most beautiful gifts I could ever have hoped for and I should be grateful for each stretch mark, for the extra squish and for the ability to nourish my baby.

As a mother never let anyone including yourself make you feel less than enough.

The Medicalised Mumma x

Get ready for photo spam!!!

The amazing has done a wonderful job with capturing some beautiful moments to honour Harrison’s first birthday, 1 year as a family of 5 and 1 year of breastfeeding!

Cannot wait to share more over the coming days! Here is one of my faves capturing our cheeky boy once he was done with some of his cake 😅

Mum life has got me good lately. I’ve been basically absent from socials trying to navigate sick kids and husband, therapy appointments and running the house.

Abigail starts a 3 week intensive therapy at at the end of the month and I feel the timing couldn’t be better. We are seeing small steps forward but also some regressions again so it’s hard to know what’s going on especially without a neuro once again. Hopefully her paed and allied health team can she’s some light at her next review.

Hazel is currently being investigated for coeliac disease so we are awaiting those results and trialling a gluten free diet for the next two months. She also has some other things going on which I will share more on at a later date.

Poor Harry has HFM and an ear infection right now so is down right miserable 🥴 on m side he has started walking and is definitely

keeping me on my toes.

Jason’s ears have been playing up again so back to the ENT at the end of the month to have the issue fixed.

I feel blessed that my sister and her hubby spent the last few days of their honeymoon visiting and helping me with the crazy juggle that is life right now. My washing and folding got done, the kitchen miraculously, cleaned it self, and the kids were occupied with activities. I am forever, grateful for the help as being away from home, makes it that much harder to have support.

Being a SAHM is definitely the hardest yet most rewarding role I’ve ever had, I may resemble some form of continually exhausted zombie but my kids are happy healthy and loved and that’s what counts ❤️

- Outfit and blanket by
- Playmat by

The Medicalised Mumma x

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!
This is the first time I’m able to celebrate 🎉

This years theme is Enabling, particularly in the workplace. I’m not yet back at work buy enabling has been such a huge factor in my journey. So thankyou to all the women who have enabled our beautiful journey. To my husband for enabling me, getting me copious amounts of water, hydrogel pads from the fridge, my pump and the baby ❤️ Most of all thank you to my body and my baby Harrison for enabling me to have a successful journey.

To all the other mamas out there I hope you find your village to enable your journey ❤️

The Medicalised Mumma x

Having a sister is having a friend for life ❤️

I had the amazing privilege to stand by my stunning sister on the weekend and watch her marry the love of her life

The pride, love and many tears that followed the I do’s was ample! Nothing can explain how grateful I am that my little sister has found someone as amazing as Alex. Kiera may have gained a husband but I’ve gained another brother and I couldn’t be happier.

Thank you both for the blessing of being your bridesmaid Kiera.

Laugh often, forgive often and love like everyday is your last ❤️

So most of you would know from my stories we are in Ingham this week for my sisters wedding!

I braved the 17hr car ride on my own with 3 kids and let me say NEVER AGAIN. We arrived 11pm Sunday night after leaving Brissy at 4:15am. It was my first time driving that far solo with the kids. I made the decision in Mackay to keep driving rather than pulling up for the night, in hindsight I should have stayed somewhere overnight as my exhaustion levels now are out of control which also means my anxiety is high 😭

It’s now Tuesday and I am still really exhausted from the drive and Harrison not sleeping 🥹

Definitely worth the exhaustion to finally see my family again and spend some quality time with Dad. I’ve really missed my family and it makes me miss Ingham just that little bit more. The girls are loving playing with the dogs and spending time with their grandparents.

Time for some relax time before wedding prep starts Friday and Jason arrives Saturday 🎊

The Medicalised Mumma x

A pictures says 1000 words.

This was taken the day Harrison was discharged from his first hospital stay by Jason. Harry was admitted for oxygen monitoring, sleep study and a barrage of other tests to figure out why his breathing and feeding was so awful. Long story short we were cleared to go back to breastfeeding after 2 months of exclusive pumping and thickening feeds.

This photo captured Harrison’s first latch after trying in hospital and upon discharge at home, you can literally see the triumph and epic fatigue in my face. Every time I would try to get him to latch he would just scream. It was exhausting and honestly mentally really difficult to persevere. This photo shows that my perseverance, patience and trust in both my body and my baby were worth it. Since this photo we have overcome even more feeding challenges and I am so incredibly proud of our journey so far.

To think my original breastfeeding goal was 8 weeks 😅 I was determined to exclusively feed him longer than the girls. Now let me say this breastfeeding is one of the hardest things I’ve done as a mother but definitely the most rewarding. We are 10.5 months going strong and I can confidently say I wouldn’t have gotten this far without some pretty amazing and supportive friends who have been on this journey before me .mowat .the.mumma , an amazing LC , the support of my husband and of course little Harrison who has healed a part of my motherhood journey I didn’t know needed healing. We cannot wait to celebrate 12 full months of breastfeeding just around the corner.

The Medicalised Mumma x

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The GIVEAWAY will run until midnight 11th July with the winner drawn and announced at 12pm 12th July.

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Where have the past 10 months gone!!
Another month and more milestones ❤️

🐯 8.8kg
🐯 71cm
🐯 4 teeth
🐯 New words Go and Car
🐯 Favourite song is twinkle twinkle
🐯 Spiritual belief that sleep is not a necessity 🥴
🐯 Cruising
🐯 Started Daycare
🐯 10 months breastfeeding milestone

Another month closer to that big 1st Birthday and Mum is getting a little sad at how quick you are growing 🥹

Striped knit jumper.
Playmat
Milestone Cards

This past week has been a lot mentally and physically.

Abi suffers pretty horrendous anxiety which is in direct relation to her ASD. She needs routine and at times sensory deprivation to cope and function with life. Lately noise and touch has been a huge trigger for Abigail which means school and general life has been a challenge.

Since Saturday little miss has had a weird tummy feeling and feels sick whenever the time comes to leave the house or when things get overwhelming.

This is the side of things that break my heart. To see her not coping with daily life is fu***ng awful. The feeling of not knowing how to help and the frustration is heavy. Parenting with all of these emotions and while you yourself may be dysregulated is bloody hard, add on top of this the fact she masks makes things 10 times harder.

I have so many people say to me oh she must be “high functioning”, what they don’t see is the cost that “high functioning” has when she’s in her safe place. So please when referring to a child with ASD don’t use “high functioning” as I can tell you she may appear to cope but looks can be deceiving.

For any other parents out there dealing with the roller coaster of an ASD diagnosis just know the dips may feel all consuming, rely on your support network and connect with others in the community because I can guarantee there is a load of others in the same carriage riding that same dip.

Any holistic tips or suggestions on managing anxiety and subsequent nausea in a 6 year old would be appreciated.

The Medicalised Mumma x

Are you even the third child if your milestone photos aren’t a week late 😂

Happy 9 months to our little froggy!
What a month it has been!
You are now!

🐸 Crawling
🐸 Pulling up to stand
🐸 Furniture walking
🐸 Yelling “HEY” when wanting attention
🐸 Loving all Italian foods
🐸 3rd tooth

You are our little Happy Harry who never sits still!

You have officially been out longer than you were in! 38weeks in vs 38 weeks out. Cannot believe how quick time has flown ❤️

Happy Mother’s Day to all the special ladies in my life! A big thank you to these three who have made me the mother I am today. Thank you for the privilege of loving you ❤️

Someone has hit the 8 month sleep regression hard!

Every 1-1.5 hours awake wanting to feed and then taking up to 1hr to go back to sleep. This mama is so exhausted I put my breast pump in the freezer 🤦🏼‍♀️ On top he is teething and chewing and biting everything.

My mental well-being has really taken a hit being so sleep deprived and having two other littles to look after. The worst piece of advice “sleep when the baby sleeps” 🥴 ohh right so who is going to do the house work and watch the other two children while I nap 😒

I start back at uni in 6 weeks and I honestly don’t know how I am going to juggle it all especially with no one down here to help with the kids 😭

As much as I’m not coping I know it will calm down soon. Being a mum there is never a full day!

In other news we have done Abigail’s Ndis review and we are hoping her funding is well thought out this year considering all the evidence we submitted. Lately Abigail has really been struggling with her separation anxiety and we are trying to find ways for her to cope with drop offs and sudden routine changes but so far we are seeing more days upset than not.

All aspects of motherhood lately has been challenging but I’m just praying the storm calms soon ❤️ Pic of our little night owl. Also if none of this makes sense just know I’m average 3 hours broken sleep per night right now 🤦🏼‍♀️

The Medicalised Mumma x

Someone has learnt to pull himself up! No stopping this little guy now 🥺

Cutest knitwear by
DC Harrison will get you a nice little discount at checkout ❤️

8 months with our Happy Harry 💙

This past month you have learnt so many new things!

🦁 Commando crawling everywhere
🦁 Standing while holding onto things
🦁 Got into a sitting position by yourself
🦁 Understand who is mum and who is dad
🦁 Moved into your own room
🦁 8 months of breastfeeding

You are so happy all the time and I am so lucky to be your mama 🥰

Having a child with medical complexities is hard what’s also just as hard is balancing their needs with other children.

A lot of people tend to not talk about the strain a child’s disabilities can put on their siblings. I was 20 weeks pregnant with Hazel when Abigail received her first of multiple diagnoses. It wasn’t until after she was born that I realised the toll juggling everything may one day take on her. Hazel has grown up just as much in the medical world as Abigail has. The hospital visits, Ronald McDonald stays, hospital playrooms, plane and car rides to see specialists and more recently all Abigail’s home based therapies. Don’t get me wrong Hazel being exposed to these environments hasn’t deterred her from her own GP visits which she meets with enthusiasm.

The hardest part is the days where I’m spread so thin between all my roles as SAHM, wife, student and still breastfeeding Harry. These days which are many of late are the days when I notice Hazels behaviour get out of hand, the defiance, tantrums and general destruction. In the moment it is so hard to remain neutral. After it all my heart just hurts because I know it’s her way of wanting attention.

Sometimes as a lot of other mums like Erin .lulu.love will tell you it is heartbreaking the juggle of having a child with additional needs and having a neurotypical sibling. I know that as challenging as Hazels behaviour is right now she will become more aware as she gets older of the “why” behind Abigail’s extra needs. Until then Jase and I will weather the sometimes storm of Hurricane Hazel 💜

The Medicalised Mumma x

Tonight I want to address something. Girls and ASD!

Recently Jason and I went through the ordeal of a person part of Abi’s previous medical care team attempting to revoke her ASD diagnosis. We were told that because she communicated well, didn’t have a meltdown and according to this person showed no ASD traits that her ADOS assessment must be incorrect and she would be revoking her diagnosis.

Well cue this mama who has read every possible research paper and book the psychologist could throw at me about girls and autism. I stood my ground and firmly told this person that she did not have the qualifications to make that judgement and that she has very out dated views of what ASD is. I explained ASD is a spectrum disorder and no two people are the same. Let’s say my correction was not received too well, but after reassurance from her allied health team and a 10 page ADOS assessment backing myself and Abigail the attempted diagnosis revoke was unsuccessful.

Let me share a little about girls and ASD.
“However, there is a growing body of work that indicates that autism just presents differently in girls and therefore often goes unrecognised, especially in verbally fluent girls with normal intelligence. Girls with autism also appear to be better at ‘camouflaging’ their symptoms in order to fit in.

With the diagnostic criteria for ASD based largely in how autism presents in males, girls can often ‘slip under the radar’ or get misdiagnosed”. Credit to

In most cases it is essential to be with a provider who specialises in recognising ASD traits in girls. Abigail like many other girls is shockingly good at camouflaging or masking as we call it. She will try to “fit in” and “copy” social niceties and cues, until she is in her safe places or with her safe people. Ask any mother of a girl with ASD and I can guarantee most will tell you that their behaviour is 10 times worse at home!

For Abigail routine is paramount and unexpected changes escalate her behaviours. She needs to know who, when, what, where and how about each outing we have or who is coming to visit. She has zero sense of personal space and zero interest in others hobbies or interests.

Although these can be challenging there are so many beautiful aspects to her uniqueness. She is gifted at retaining facts on the subjects she is interested in. She sees details we often miss or take for granted. Her mathematics skills are insane. She sees beauty in everything and everyone. She is brutally honest and does not partake or understand sarcasm. She has such a love of life that I really think some adults could learn from. Most of all her love and connection with animals is something to behold.

There is so much negativity about ASD but let me tell you there is much more beauty 💙💜🧡💛💚

“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed” ~ Linda Wooten.

Being a mum is hard and messy. It can mean showering sparingly in those newborn days. It can mean unwashed hair and unwashed dishes. Bed times before 9pm. It can be feeling hungover not from drinking but from the broken sleep and night time feeds. It can be learning to love this new squishy you and realising in awe that your body grew another person. Becoming a mother for me meant becoming who I was meant to be.

With each child brings new perspective and new meaning in my journey as a mum. Some days my heart is so full it hurts. The immense love, anxiety, hope and pride can be all consuming and overwhelming. Your desire to both protect and encourage are in a constant battle. There is no right or wrong way to mother co-sleep, cot sleep, breastfeed, formula feed, in the end the aim is to be your best self for your children and to give them every chance to flourish ❤️

Here’s to all the mums existing in this beautiful chaos that is motherhood 🙌🏼

The Medicalised Mumma x

Happy Easter from our family to yours ❤️

Reminiscing about the weekend when I didn’t feel like death from my mandatory nursing vaccines 😵‍💫 As a student we have specific checks we have to do to be eligible for placement so yesterday I put on my big girl pants and finally got my third C vax and my flu shot.

Second semester this year marks my final year of studying my RNs. It’s definitely going to be an adjustment going back to study and placements after 12 months off having Mr Harrison.

I’ve absolutely cherished having the opportunity to spend almost 12 full months at home this time around and have found without the extra stress of work it’s been a more relaxing experience this time.

I’ve been able to enjoy and witness each milestone and to breastfeed longer than I ever have and still going. A longer maternity leave was absolutely wonderful now to enjoy the last few months before the craziness kicks up a notch.

The Medicalised Mumma x

What’s a few days late when you’re the 3rd child 😅

Mr Harrison was 7 months old on the 29th of March. He is the happiest baby ever!
🦁 Said his first word bubba and can now say bubba, mama, dada, nan, hello
🦁 Commando crawling
🦁 Favourite food is pear and Vegemite toast
🦁 Shows love with aggressive face grabbing kisses
🦁 Likes to follow his sisters everywhere
🦁 Cut his first 2 teeth

It’s been a busy month of milestones and growing for our little guy. Can’t wait to see what this month brings ❤️
💙

Happy 4th Birthday to our little firecracker mother hen.

You have a spark and fire about you that I hope you never lose (as much as you challenge us). You are your brother and sisters biggest protector and also tormentor 😂. You are the best mama to all 6 of your baby dolls. You are the most gorgeous girl and we are so proud of you. Never stop being the life of the party ❤️. We are so excited to see you blossom even more with this next lap around the sun ☀️

“ a life is turned upside down by epilepsy. I am helping @‌EpilepsyQueensland to raise awareness by posting an upside down photo. Let’s turn things around for people with epilepsy and ”

Today is epilepsy awareness day. To everyone living with, have lived with or yet to be diagnosed just know you have a whole community behind you 💜

The Medicalised Mumma x

This Mumma had a girls afternoon on Sunday to celebrate the one and only Mia Rose] birthday!

Sticking with my mantra of experiencing life this year I ventured to for an afternoon of laughter, amazing cocktails & food, stunning views and most importantly stunning company!

It’s rare I get out of the house completely child free but this was 2 hours of no screaming or incessant demanding of snacks every 2 seconds and not one person tried to crawl in my lap 😅🙌🏼

As much as I love the kids I also need a little time out now and then to feel a little less mum which I’m sure most of you mamas understand. So with a couple of bottles of pumped milk in the fridge and dad in duty I got to indulge a little.

Cannot wait to plan the next girls arvo Mia Rose] ❤️

The Medicalised Mumma x